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Member Since 26 Jan 2013
Offline Last Active Feb 04 2013 02:06 AM

Topics I've Started

Feeling Overwhelmed And Hopeless

26 January 2013 - 01:11 PM

i am going to sound shallow and horrible.. and i guess i will have to put my hands up to both those things, i am hoping that maybe some other "spouse of" can put this into perspective for me...

My husband is currently undergoing testing for specifically celiacs or crohn's disease.. in the past he has drunk A LOT (to the point where it could be classed as alcoholism).. since testing started, he has stopped drinking. He shows most of the symptoms.. i have been reading for the last week and it is all overwhelming me. I dont think he realises the extent this whole thing will take..

I am terrified of how to cope with "a celiac".. i cannot afford to put our entire family on gluten free foods, we have 2 autisitc teenage boys who eat like horses and a daughter.. we have very limited resources and i was sick to my stomach today when i bought some speciality foods for my husband. He has been doing better since cutting out gluten, so to me that is another indicator that he in fact does have celiac as supposed to crohn's. I cannot afford to buy all the special foods for him on a regular basis, my money just wont stretch that far.

i have deep cleaned and sterilized a cupboard for him and am trying to buy him cheap utensils etc... but even with a big sign on the cupboard, saying do not touch, the boys were attracted to that like bees to honey and i had to start all over.

i just dont know how to manage to keep our stuff separate.. at first i thought, well ill just cook separate meals for him, but it seems way more complicated than that... i LOVE baking, i guess that will have to stop.. i already miss being able to just be spontaneous and giving him a kiss on my way out the door and the thought of having to decontaminate myself before we could do the whole married couple thing turns me right off that thought...

i cant see us ever being able to lead a normal life and i cannot get my head around that .. i know a lot of people here will flame me and come up with the "you want to split up over FOOD" line, but really it is so much more than just food.. the food i could cope with, but having to worry about having sat on crumbs or touched something..

right now the only way i can see to keep him healthy is for him to move out.. money is scarce, so i cannot afford to keep him in all those special gluten free foods, i cannot afford to just go and buy him a new toaster and a separate fridge.. and how can you have a family life when one member is segregated totally and cant even eat with the rest of us??

it just all seems very hopeless at the moment...

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