Last spring, I opened a bakery in our little town. Cupcakes, cakes, cake pops...you name it. All my own creations or things my children and husband and friends helped me come up with. I had the absolute best job in the world. Who gets to go to a job every day that they love?! I will be 40 this year and it took me this long to go for my dream and it has now been thrown out the window because of all of this. I have had issues for years with my voice off and on, headaches, the diarrhea and other stuff was all the time. My thyroid has nodules that were too many to count, though thankfully was not cancerous. This led my PCP to think about a gluten issue. I got lucky, I suppose; he himself suffers from it and knows the signs, having researched for several years to become a bonafide expert on the subject.
Anyway, my voice disappeared a month after my bakery opened. It came back, but is husky and a lot of times not much more than a whisper. I was exhausted, from what I THOUGHT was long hours, but was really because I was seriously ill. I got headaches that were blinding, but I pressed on because I was doing what I loved and I couldn't afford to hire help yet...I finally was able to get an appointment with this doc who immediately started checking things out and actually LISTENED to everything I complained about even though none of my issues were even remotely related to each other...or so I thought. I was so tired and so sick that I was told that I needed to find someone to run the shop if I was to get better... that wasn't possible for me; I wasn't even paying ME yet. So in the end, I had to close up in early December so that I could get myself better. Fast forward to today when my doc sat down with me and discussed how important it is that I take this very seriously and completely cut it out. He said that I was slowing committing suicide doing what I love most in the world to do. No more baking items that contain gluten until he and I work together to find a way to make it okay...but he has his doubts that it will ever happen to the extent that I can do it professionally again. I did make gluten-free items, but never really understood how important it was to keep things totally separate until now. I'm not mad that I can't EAT them; I'm mad because I can't MAKE them.
I'm going back and forth between "Thank God I know what it is now and it's something that can be 'fixed' over time!" and "What kind of sick cruel joke is God playing to take away something like this from me?!"
And I KNOW there are lots of things I can still eat. I really do. I didn't eat a lot of cupcakes myself; I just loved to make them for others to enjoy. That being said, I have still had the thought that I'm going to starve to death before I figure this all out. Especially the cross-contamination thing...I have a husband and 4 children as I said, so I'm finding it really hard to figure out how to organize my kitchen and supplies to avoid hurting myself while still giving them what they love to eat.
I've reread this and see how unorganized it is, but I guess that's just me. I realize I'm whining too, so I apologize. I guess I just need someone else who understands. My family is being super supportive, but I don't want my issue to be a burden to them. In other news, I've LOST 12 pounds in the two weeks, but my doc says this is normal. I'm good with that. Oh, and after 2 weeks gluten-free, no diarrhea! I still have headaches everyday, but I think there's a difference the last couple of days now. My voice...there's a difference. He seems to think it will come back on it's own.
I wonder if anyone else has the issue I have...not being able to do what they did professionally before their dx? Do I really need a back-up plan? Does anyone have any tips on eliminating CC with a houseful of teenagers who are into everything in the kitchen and a husband who cooks the most delicious foods, but makes the biggest messes in the process, lol?
Thanks for "listening".