Thanks for the advice and the sympathy ( I guess it was a little bit of a rant)
Forgot to mention that I have two copies of HLA-DQ8, so she has a least one of the celiac genes.
She goes to her Dad's some weekends and longer periods over the summer. The cooler might help on the weekends and she is old enough to read label at least. She seems willing to try anything including going gluten free to get some relief so that's where I'm leaning. Just hope I can get the doctor to agree or reccomend at least a trial to help to get her Dad on board.