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About this blog

Tales from my heart

Entries in this blog

 

Yay I Discovered Awesomeness

So lately I have been craving all sorts of baked goods that I can't have. Sure I could make a gluten version of nearly all of them, but that's more work for a simple craving. But its not like I can go to the nearest bakery and pick up goodies, because even if they did have some gluten free items, most likely there would be cross contamination, with all the regular flour in the air. So I decided to search for a bakery that was gluten free, ANY bakery. Turns out there is one only fourty five minutes from me. Which considering the fact there were only 4 bakeries that I could find in Utah, I was rather pleased. So, on Friday we drove down to Sandy from Salt Lake to try it out. It's a family run bakery, and they all have Celiac, so you can pretty much GUARANTEE its safe. But we tried nearly every item on the menu. Or at least, a flavor of one of everything. SO DELICIOUS! They have these sandwiches made with corn flatbread which they call Arepas. (Based on the South American bread of the same name) SO GOOD! And the soups are all homemade as well, and utterly delicious. Everything is fresh, and homemade (obviously), and the arepas are made right there in front of you. I also would like to note that even my husband who is a heavy gluten eater when I am not around, loved it. He is the one who has actually been recommending it to everyone and their mothers. *chuckle* I'm so thrilled. So if you ever hit the Salt Lake area, definitely stop by Eleanor's Bakeshop. Its a must have. Plus the people there are so friendly and love to chat, so it definitely is welcoming. Oh very cheap in the way of gluten free goes.

Rowena

Rowena

 

Vegan Not Really Vegan? Come On!

Frankly there should be a ban on labelling things vegan if they are made on shared equipment as non vegan food items. I bought some carob chips that had vegan written all over them. (Brand is Sunspire FYI). I swear I had read the allergen info at the store and saw no problem. But I also was tired and not feeling good, so it could easily have been one of those times when I saw, 'Vegan' and tossed them in the shopping cart. I don't honestly remember. Anyway, so today, I thought, well hey, I need a snack. I grabbed a rice cake and the bag of carob chips that were supposedly vegan. Okay, so I flipped the bag over for whatever reason, and saw the allergen info. I quote 'CONTAINS: SOY. DUE TO SHARED EQUIPMENT, PRODUCT CONTAINS TRACES OF MILK.' How the hell is that vegan! I mean there was no, 'may contain' it was a certainly how they phrased it. Frankly, just because you don't add any products that are contrary to the vegan lifestyle doesn't mean its vegan. Its like saying, 'Oh this food item is gluten free because I didn't add flour to it.' Um no. Try again. If anything, if you aren't worried about catering to the vegan lifestyle, cater to those with milk allergies. Don't put Vegan on a package if it contains milk. People who can't have dairy love vegan options because usually they are safe for them. No animals or their byproducts defines vegan. Vegan is not synonomous with vegetarian.   End of rant.

Rowena

Rowena

 

Valuable Lessons Learned From My Battle With Mr. Anxi Ety

So on friday I had a severe panic attack, and no one was around to help me. I should explain that I have been working close to, if not more than 40 hrs a week the past few weeks, and I am supposed to be a part time employee. No benefits, no overtime, no nothing. Plus I have a messy house that I cannot even walk in. Dishes are piled a mile high. Laundry is three weeks overdue. Nevermind my expensive food, car payments/insurance, rent, hospital payments, registering a broken down car which includes repairs that cost my entire paychecks for the month. Oh and incessant worry that we may have goofed, and I may or may not be pregnant. So on Friday, I broke down when I couldn't find my bus pass. Yes, of all things, my bus pass made me break down. (Turns out it was in my sweatshirt the whole time.) But finally, with the help of my mom and my MIL, I got my house mostly in order (Laundry is still three weeks over due but hey.) over the course of two days, and I finally can relax...for now. (And my husbands parents paid for our car repairs... yay!) So now, you are probably wondering what my valuable lessons are that I mentioned in the title. Well here they are (and I will go more into detail later) #1. You are not Superman. You cannot do everything #2. Do not be afraid to ask for help #3. It ain't bad to cry #4. Take time for yourself #5. Breathe #6. Eat #7. Don't be afraid to tell people you have a problem. (ie Anxiety) #8. If medicated, take your meds. #9. Never be alone during an attack (even if it means yelling/crying/whatever via phone IM or whatver) #10. Don't be embarrassed by anxiety or whatever your problem is. (Explanations to come in their own posts)

Rowena

Rowena

 

Ugh...i Hate Gluten

Gluten is everywhere. Why? And of all places to get Glutened... it was at my own house. From potatoes. Sure, they were the instant kind, but I shouldn't have trusted them. They are in fact made in a facility that I know produces wheat. And I'm sure that flour would fly throughout the air in that sort of place. The thing was, the bag had no gluteny ingredients listed, and the only allergy information on the package was "May contain traces of milk." And we wanted to finish that bag, because it seemed safe. But no... it wasn't. Now I feel like crap. I feel the way I did before I started this diet. Nauseated (wish I could just throw up. but no.), pained, tired, and I just want to go home and sleep it off. It seems like it will be forever before I will feel better. Will it ever end? I hope it does. Otherwise, I have a problem...

Rowena

Rowena

 

The Silent (And Yet Not So Silent) Killer...

Well at least I feel like it is killing me. And no, it ain't one of my intolerances. I wish I could say it was. At least ten I would feel better sooner... But no... Its a stupid, infernal cold! Just as I was starting to return to normal, I caught my husband's cold. And I feel like I got it worse than he did. Between the coughing fits that result in a lot of gagging since I cant throw up very well, my lost voice (which by the way never happens), my cold chills and a fever that I am sure is only barely a fever, because that is all I ever get, and the immense pain.... I feel like I am dying slowly.... And truth be told, it isnt helping my anxiety any. (Though not eating gluten is easier because I dont want to eat at all.) Colds, I hate them... Well actually, I hate any sickness I get. I dont hate my intolerances, because I learn to live with them every day. But the illnesses that come and go, I hate them. I dont like being in so much pain. I dont like feelin like any minute my lungs are going to pop out of my throat. I dont like the Fevers and chills. And worst of all, I hate it when nothing seems to help me feel better.

Rowena

Rowena

 

The Grand Beginning

Every journey starts somewhere. What is it that makes us begin? Perhaps a smile, or great despair? Maybe, it's something you can't pin.   Every dream comes from someplace. Why do we imagine within? Is it hope for unending grace? Maybe, it's something you can't pin.   Every hope dawns from something. How do we find it in this din? Concern of what future will bring? Maybe, it's something you can't pin.   Every journey starts somewhere. Maybe, it's something you can't pin.   In case you hadn't guessed it yet, I am a poet by nature. I speak horrid English, even though it is my first language. But whatever, thats not what brings me here. I may not have celiac disease. But I have gone gluten free, and in doing so I discovered an intolerance. Week one. That's how far I have gone without gluten in my life. I am a healthier, happier person. The new me is thrilled with how I feel.   But I am currently at a loss. We frequently visit family who have no gluten sensitivity. It is my husband's birthday this weekend. So he of course asked his mom to make pizza. I have no problem with him choosing this dinner, but how do I keep to my diet on this special occasion, and even still further, how do I not offend his family when I don't eat their food? I dont feel so awkward at my parents home, but his is a different story. And besides it is frickin PIZZA. I love pizza. But undoubtedly every part will contain gluten. And bringing my own food is weird....

Rowena

Rowena

 

That Entirely Random Allergy

So a while ago, (Sometime between the last time I was active and now) I discovered I've got a VERY random allergy/intolerance. Since I've not actually had a doc say anything about it because I keep forgetting to bring it up, we'll just call it a 'problem'...   I don't have very many 'problems' that make my throat close up... But there is one problem that does. It gives me cracked lips (in the corners) and my throat becomes very swollen. Swallowing? Forget it. So what is it? Randomly, its Rosemary. Yeah, the herb. Don't ask me why, but its true. I suppose it could be worse... It could be something like, oh I dunno pepper. Oh wait, I can't have a lot of that anymore with my esophagitis anyway... So better example... uh... salt?   But seriously... Try finding Italian food without rosemary! (In fact, pretty certain my mother puts it in her spaghetti sauce... And she makes spaghetti almost every time our family gets together since its easy to make and easy to make in large quantities...)   Okay, just had to get that out, because I crave those multigrain gluten free crackers, and my favorite flavor? THe one with Rosemary. (Which I actually have double reason not to eat now since they contain Milk in the flavoring)

Rowena

Rowena

 

Spiced Nuts

For this recipe, I chose sliced almonds and chopped walnuts. However you can take your pick of nuts.   Nutmeg Star Anise Cinnamon Sugar Nuts 1/2 tsp butter   Coat pan with the butter then place nuts and spices (pinch of each) in. Cook on a low heat, stirring frequently so that nuts don't burn. Nuts are done when completely coated and spices stick to nuts. Very tasty! (Just be careful, the nuts burn easy)

Rowena

Rowena

 

Spaghetti Sauce

Well it looks like I may have to learn to like beets... I've found a lot of 'Nomato' sauces. And they all include carrots and beets. Okay, I love carrots, no problem. But BEETS? Thought of them makes me shudder. Granted last time I was forced to eat them, I was really picky kid... so who knows, I may like them now. I guess I'll have to try them.   Not gonna lie though, this idea of 'Nomato' spaghetti sauce sounds pretty good, looking at all the recipes. I think I can come up with something along similar lines. (Though I'll have to eliminate the lemon in like half the recipes I've found.) I wonder how they taste? Probably a lot like dairy free cheese. If you set it apart from the item its based off, its probably really good!

Rowena

Rowena

 

Seasoned Rice

Serves 2-3   1 cup rice 2 cups rice (or however much water to rice ratio your rice calls for.) Nutmeg Star Anise Cinnamon Salt Garlic Powder   Prepare rice as directed on package, mixing your spices (pinch of each) in as the rice cooks.

Rowena

Rowena

 

Roasted Veggies - As Per Suggested By Cyclinglady

This was a very simple recipe to make, and it doesn't bother me at all.   1 large sweet potato - chopped into large pieces 2 standard size Idaho Potatoes - chopped into large pieces 1 beet - chopped into large pieces 1 handful baby carrots (or 2 whole carrots. You can add more if you like, but I'm not a huge fan of roasted carrots) Italian Seasoning Salt Garlic Powder (I don't eat pepper much any more, but you can always add pepper too)   Preheat oven to 425. Place veggies on cookie sheet one layer thick. Sprinkle spices and olive oil over veggies. Cook for 40 minutes. Serve.   (Feeds 2 as a meal or 4-6 as a side)

Rowena

Rowena

 

Restaurant Mayhem

So the other day, my dad was sworn in to be a Utah attorney. (Cool Experience to see by the way). My mom calls me the day before, "Oh yeah, honey, we're goin out to lunch before hand. We were going to try the Restaurant at the Joseph Smith Memorial building. That okay?" So I hesitate, because it wasn't on the list of safe restaurants that the Celiac/Gluten Intolerance Support Group for SLC put out. So my mom and I once again get into a discussion about how strict I am being. (She thinks I am being too strict. But since I got sick from instant potatoes that were processed on equipment that processes wheat products... I am not inclined to be any less strict.) She says, well can't you order a salad? How about a piece of chicken? Yadda Yadda Yadda. To which I give my usual reply of, "It depends on the environment it is prepared in." I've tried to explain to her about cross contamination a number of times, but I don't think she quite gets it. Well anyway, while I am work sitting at the reception desk I look up the restaurant and discover they have a gluten free menu. I don't look too closely at it, but I did notice that it said chips are fried in same oil as breaded products. So I call my mom, "They have a gluten free menu there." "Oh good!" Once I get off work, I look at the menu closer. (Fortunately I wrote down the restaurant's number.) I looked and saw that there were a ton of fried foods, and if the chips were fried in the same oil what's to say that these weren't? And then I noted the dressings they had. I questioned that. And all of their sauces... So I called them and asked all my questions, and up distraught. It seemed like they didn't really understand what Gluten FREE meant. It was more of a gluten light menu. Besides the fact that about 50% of the menu was seafood of some sort. So I call my mom, and say "The Gluten Free Menu isn't really a gluten free menu. So I think I'll just eat before we go and come for the company." She wouldn't have that. "Would you rather go to Mazza?" (Mazza is a lebanese restaurant that I told her had a good gluten-free menu) "I'd feel safer." "Frank*, is Mazza all right with you for lunch?" My mom says to my father who sits near her. He must have nodded or spoke his approval quietly. "Okay Mazza it is then." So when I get home, (the previous conversations were in the car) I look up Mazza's number and call them. They reassured me that I could safely eat there, though they couldn't guarantee all their items were perfectly safe, but they did have quite a few I could definitely safely eat. To me, it seemed like the Employees were well informed about gluten free items. Well next morning, I wake up, and head to work. (Just as a note for clarification I work in the same office as my dad.) I do a morning interoffice mail run, and my dad's secretary stops me. "How does Sage's cafe sound." I told her it was definitely a recommended place by the gluten free society of SLC. And then she explained to me that my father had her look up places I could eat at. I thought it was funny. (I love my parents, they are awesome.) But I couldn't fathom why he asked his secretary to look up places when we decided the night before we'd go to Mazza. So I told her that, and she was like, "Okay, let's look at that one." So she looks at it, chats it up a little while longer, then I continue on my way to finish the mail run. So a few hours later, I meet up with my dad and his secretary, and then we drive to meet my mom and my husband at the restaurant. (And yes, apparently the consensus remained on Mazza) We eat there, and I talk to the waitress because there were so many choices of food. She smiles and reads over the menu with me and points out the safest items, and told me that the sandwiches and Entrees are not as good as the starters. She recommended a sampler platter and a few specific dishes for said platter. So of course, I took her advice. IT WAS YUMMY! And the waitress was completely right. And helpful too. She always made sure I was well taken care of. It was definitely a wonderful experience.

Rowena

Rowena

 

Pushy Pushy Pushy

Well, yesterday anyone who was anyone stopped by without a phone call, just to "talk." Okay so it was only three people, my church leader and my two visiting teachers (two women in my ward who have been asked to visit me each month and give a spiritual message. Every woman in my ward has them.). But normally these people call before they stop by. It was too coincidental, honestly. And I really didn't like it. They were pushing me to see a counselor (for my anxiety and miscarraige) through my church, all three of them. I'm sorry, but I do NOT need to see a counselor to have them tell me I am being stupid, and that my parents are right in treating me like crap, and I have no reason to fear them or hate going to family parties. Etc, etc, etc. I need a doctor more. Which I am TRYING to find. Sure its been a while since I attended church, but still, I don't need to be pushed. Sure they meant well, but it just makes me want to stay away, ya know? I'm trying to be strong through these trials, but please, for heaven's sake, don't push me. It's not gonna get you anywhere. I'm healing, its a long process, so LET ME FRICKIN BE! I'll come to church when I am ready.

Rowena

Rowena

 

Nomato Sauce Recipe

So I found an AMAZING tomato sauce recipe on the Food Network website... And it has NO TOMATOS so I guess it isn't really a tomato sauce but what the hey. Its very basic, but delicious. This is what it is as a FN forum member wrote it... (Well I paraphrased the instructions but shh)   6 carrots peeled and diced 1 small beet peeled and diced 1 large onion 3 celery ribs (stalks) 1 bay leaf 1 1/2 cups water   Put everything in a large pot, bring water to a boil, and then turn down to simmer until veggies are soft. Once that is done, put in a blender, and blend until its a saucelike consistently and serve.   I cannot have onions, so I took that out and added a few spices to my tasting, (Italian seasoning, salt and very light pepper) I added the spices just before putting the veggies in the blender... it was amazing and tasted even better than s'ghetti sauce in my opinion... And the hubby who loves his food, he even loved it!

Rowena

Rowena

 

Nice Neighborly Duty

Ok so yesterday I had some of my neighbors come visit. And it is a well known fact that I can no longer have gluten in our apartment complex. But apparently it is less well known that I can't eat chocolate. (Probably because I don't make a huge deal of it. I just dont eat whatever has chocolate.) So strangely said neighbors decide to bring me treats... Gluten free brownies. Now how can I resist eating that? They were soft and gooey... (And probably slobbered all over by a three year old, but hey!) and well, just delicious looking. So I begged my husband to bring me a mug of rice milk... I was only goint to eat one, but well, I ended up eating two and a half before my husband was finally able to stop me. You can bet I was sick that night... Silly people... Don't bring me chocolate!

Rowena

Rowena

 

My Insane Anxious Ramblings And A Need To Destress....

I am feeling an insane need to destress. Not that I am doing as much as many of the people here, but with my severe anxiety, no relation to my gluten intolerance, I feel completely stressed out. I work at least thirty hours a week, more often than not more than that. For which I am recieving no benefits because I am hired supposedly as a part time employee, even though in reality I am working full time. It is a horror. Not that I have a horrible job or anything, nor am I bad at it, nor do I hate it. But it is a lot of work. And pile on top of that being a married college student (and taking only one class due to the fact that I cannot take anymore than that with my anxiety) and supposedly I'm supposed to be the housewife who does everything for my husband. Yes he's good at helping out, but I myself put way too much stress on myself to be the good housewife. Beyond that, I have yet to figure out what on earth is wrong with my body, as I have the doctors thoroughly confused. I have gone on this gluten free diet to see if it helps me, and lo and behold, its working, even though I tested negative for celiac disease. I have thus come to the conclusion I am intolerant of gluten. But even still, between doctors visits and sick days, I have not been to class in over two weeks. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! I'm on overload. I can't sleep at night, and when I do sleep, its filled with nightmares, thus my sleep is inevitably restless. I had a mental breakdown, otherwise known as a horrible anxiety attack last Thursday. I know what I have to do. I need to stop trying to do so much. Which means, withdraw from class. Even my therapist says my anxiety will flare up if I focus on more than one thing at a time. But I don't listen until I have tried it. But anyway, withdrawing from my class gives me further anxiety, because then it will be a waste of 400 dollars of my parents money. And no, I don't think I can get that money back, even if I pose it as a medical withdrawal. It sucks. That money could have been better placed, and my parents already tell me all the time I waste their money. I wasted it on a year and a half of college because of anxiety and depression a few years back. I took a break when I got married, and then a few months ago I just KNEW I had to go back to school because I was going crazy having nothing to do when I didn't work. But sure enough. My anxiety is flared up again. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do I break the news to my parents who think that I've already wasted a ton of their money? Sure they know how sick I've been the past year and a half, and how I can't seem to get better. But it was the same three years ago when I stopped going to school because I had been depressed and anxious the entire time. I had flunked out of college then with all those problems, and I'se gonna flunk out now. But I can't stand the thought of my parents thinking I wasted their money again. And the sorrow they bring with it every time they tell me so. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Rowena

Rowena

 

My Bad List As Of Right Now

So far, I cannot eat the following -   Fish (I don't eat seafood either because a lot of people with fish allergies have shellfish allergies...) Dairy (Lactose intolerant, likely casein allergy/intolerance) Gluten (Intolerant, not Celiac) Rosemary (suspect its an allergy)   Tomatoes Chocolate Carob Ham Pepperoni Salami Lemon (and derivatives) Orange (and derivatives) Cranberry (and derivatives) Onion (powder seems to be better) Garlic (powder seems to be better) Chili powder Cayenne Pepper Red Pepper flakes/ground red pepper Jalepenos Taco seasoning Mint Hot liquids Caffeine Bacon Pepper (in excess) Carbonation (Especially diet sodas/brown sodas) Anything spicy Excess fat Anything fried Excess salt

Rowena

Rowena

 

Mexican Food... Pizza... Oh Help!

So on Saturday, I finally succumbed to my pizza cravings. But I didn't make it homemade like I should have. I bought it from a local restaurant that assured me that it did everything to ensure it would be gluten free, from changing gloves to washing hands, to putting it on its own special tray. Sure enough, glutened... Yeah. Shoulda known. (Not to mention I have a bad habit of trying gluten free restaurants on saturdays, which is bad because then I get glutened and am down for sunday. I haven't been to church between glutenings, anxiety attacks, and colds in two months.) And then today, I rushed out the door with no time to prepare a lunch so I had grabbed cereal and carrots. And since its one of THOSE days, I am not very hungry. So I figured that would be enough. Nope... 2:00 comes round, and I am starved... So I get a special order mexican... And you got it... glutened again. Ye'd think I would learn... Nope.   The weird thing is how fast reactions come. I never seem to remember that all the reactions I get are immediate... And so here I am at work, trying to survive another three hours... Yeah, something's gotta give now because of my stupidity... Excuse me while I run to the bathroom... thanks...

Rowena

Rowena

 

Mexican Food

Okay, so my mother in law recently made tacos for dinner. Now, this would be an easy dinner to modify to my problems. Just gimme the corn tortillas, meat, guacamole, and lettuce, and I'm good. However, one slight problem...I can't have the guacamole as my MIL makes it. Everyone in their house likes sour cream in their guacamole!   Gimme my straight avocados people! I would have said something, but it was a big party for my MIL/FIL's anniversary, so I felt really bad about it. So I had very bland tacos, and it made me sad. Now I would have made it a taco salad, but they only have one dressing in their house. RANCH! *sigh*   My MIL LOVES spoiling me, she always keeps a ton of food in her house that I can eat, but I always feel REALLY bad about it that I'm sooooo high maintenance with my diet. And then I feel even worse when I can't eat what she makes... Oh well.

Rowena

Rowena

 

Lunch Meat

So my all time favorite lunch meat is Ham... or rather WAS. Now, I've discovered that ham does me in. After eating it, my reflux/esophagitis acts up. Can't swallow very well, mostly is what happens when I eat it... Feels like its stuck in my throat.   Problem is, ham pretty much is my default lunch meat. I like sausages like salami or pepperoni too, but they are WAY too spicy. I HATE Turkey and chicken, way too dry. But ham... mmmmm. Not worth the inability to eat after though.   However, I did discover, thanks to my Mother in law, who discovered it from my sister-in-law, HUMMUS is amazing on sandwiches. And this girl LOVES cucumber sandwiches, despite the fact they are not that filling. However... Hummus and cucumber? Now THAT's the way to go! (On corn tortillas. YUM)

Rowena

Rowena

 

Just Beet It!

So what kid in their right mind is adventurous enough to WANT to try a beet, and if they do, what kid actually likes the weird looking root veggie? Not many are that brave, and I certainly wasn't. I was one of those kids who HATED textures and VERY picky about flavor. If it was bland, I didn't eat it, and if I didn't like the texture, GET IT AWAY! (Not much has changed in that regard to be honest - though I *HAVE* expanded my horizons by quite a bit.) As a kid, I ate 3 things... Potatoes, and a lot of them... (What? I was born in Idaho and the Idahoan who doesn't like potatoes should be SHUNNED... joking aside, potatoes was a staple and you NEVER put a potato in front of me and falsely claim its from Idaho. I WILL eat you if its not, because I KNOW the taste of an Idaho Potato like I know the back of my hand) Pizza, and spaghetti.   So last night, I bought six beets because the nomato sauce recipes I found all called for beets. I had spent all weekend convincing myself, 'I can do this... I can eat beets. They won't be bad.' Well, six carrots, 3 celery stalks, some water, and a single beet later, (and don't forget the purple stained clothes) I was ranting and raving how good my sauce was. The carrots definitely masked the beet's flavor, but even still there was still a strong taste and smell of beets... Who knew? I can eat beets! I beat the beet!

Rowena

Rowena

 

Its Not Easy Eating Clean... But Its Worth It.

As you may be aware, I've recently been diagnosed with reflux induced esophagitis. I've been on reflux meds for years, with the exception of when I was pregnant. So I figure its about time to change my diet. No one ever told me that there was a better diet for people with reflux, so I probably just aggravated my symptoms. Looking back, most of the things that bothered me most when I was pregnant are on the reflux no-no list. Now with my esophagitis, I did a little research, and decided its about time to cut out the things that make reflux flare.   I always knew I had a problem with chocolate. I never really quite understood why until now. Tomatoes while I was pregnant drove me INSANE and faithfully I threw them up.   So here's what I cut out that I can remember at the moment: Oranges Orange Juice Cranberries Cranberry Juice Anything tomato related. Chocolate Mint Spicy foods Dairy products (a lot in part cause of my allergy/intolerance) Many raw fruits and veggies Bacon (I know sad day!) Pepper   My favorite okay foods Cooked spinach Applesauce Those baby puff things, I obsess over the sweet potato flavor Hummus (with baby carrots or pretzels) Baked potatoes Apple Juice Water Rice Milk Carob Cantaloupe   What I miss? Honestly there isn't a whole lot I miss. I stopped missing eating the cheap food items almost three years ago when I started eating gluten free, so I don't miss that. What I miss is eating tomatoes and black pepper. I miss some of the spicy foods sure, but honestly there isn't a whole lot of those that I miss. I miss having bacon. And I miss eating spaghetti!   What I don't miss? This is an easy one. I don't miss the sore throat, the hard time swallowing, the constant feeling of something being stuck in my throat, the heartburn, the days where I feel like I'm gonna die. I don't miss the unexplained coughing either.

Rowena

Rowena

 

Grr... Some People Just Dont Get It... I Dont Have A Choice...

"Are you still gluten free?" What in heavens name are you thinkin? I told you yesterday that I was gluten-free for medical reasons. Ye think I really would give up suddenly? "Yes I am." "How long you been gluten-free?" I got no idea of how long its been no more... "Uh, since October 1rst" "Two weeks! Wow. Are ye gonna do this the rest of your life?" "Most likely." Didnt I just say I was doin it for medical reasons? If I feel better I aint stoppin no time soon. Besides, I aint got a choice. If I did, I sure as heck wouldnt do this hard diet. But I dont got no choice. Why dont she get it? Everyone else seems to get it. Even though sometimes I gotta remind them, but thanks for offerin. So why dont she get it none? Ive tried explainin its like an allergy... Nope. She dont get that neither. Other people get it... And they even ask me if it bothers me if they eat it around me... "The only way I could go gluten-free was if there was some weight loss involved." I really hate that she keeps insinuatin my weight loss is only due to this diet. No it aint. I been workin on losin weight since august. I lost 13 pounds before goin gluten-free. I also hate that she keeps sayin that she could only do it if weight loss was involved. And then it would probably be for a short period of time. Arent friends supposed to be supportive of you? I cant say she is bein supportive. Its really rather annoyin. And also is it really all that we have to talk about? I hate walkin by her desk just to have her belittle my diet. Really. Come on. From now on, I aint deliverin no mail in that area. I just will stay at my desk. Stay in the copyroom doin me projects... Whatever. Just leave me alone already, unless you got somethin to talk about other than my diet. Okay? Sound good? No? I dont care...

Rowena

Rowena

 

Chocolate Is My Enemy

So yesterday was my first time having chocolate in months. I made chocolate cookies that were gluten free. It was absolutely delicious, but sure enough, my body didn't like the chocolate. I hate that I can't eat chocolate. Its everywhere and in everything I like to bake. But yesterday, I just HAD to try it. I was miserable after, and I am miserable now. Chocolate why do you have to be so mean? Its not fair. Everyone around me loves you, which is why I bake with you. I love making people happy, it makes me feel good. But you are so tempting! I don't like what chocolate does to me. Its unbearable. The nausea, the awful aftertaste, the discomfort in my system. That's why I've eliminated it for the most part from my life. I love it so much, but if it makes me feel so awful, why should I continue eating it right? I just have to convince myself chocolate is disgusting, yet again. And somehow figure out a way to remove the temptation, like I did so long ago. If only I could remember how I did it last time....

Rowena

Rowena

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