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Mind set Summary

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Ennis_TX

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First off, I am not depressed or suicidal just have a messed up perspective.

I have enjoyed life for awhile recently without worry, and stress. I have this perspective, I have a infection that is getting worse, drugs do not stop it, and I can not get surgery due to money. So I life life to the best trying to bucket list on a budget knowing I could die any day when it spreads to lymph or blood and reaches my brain or heart. I die naturally life insurance will pay my funeral, my will ensures that those close benefit from my belongings, my funeral is planned out wonderfully in it, and I will no longer stress my family with having to pay up for my living expenses. I just feel more freedom with the whole "I am going to die soon what does it matter" perspective and live life trying not to think of how I will feed myself next month, or what the market will be like, etc.

Life summary, bakery has sucked recently, local stores carry gluten free goods, and price wise I can not beat, only 2-3 customers will pay premium for my fresh baked goods. My food, supplement, and living expenses exceed disability and bakery income by $200-400 a month. My family is helping but I am a burden, but try to help out where I can. I have Ulcerative Colitis...look up the long term aspects for that ....yeah.

My diet is very limited, I have to eat blended liquid soft meals 2 times a day, only one semi solid meal. I love cooking for others and catering at just above my cost....I look forward to doing it gluten, corn, dairy, grain free....because I can put some to the side like meats,...and chew it and taste it making sure it is right before having to spit it in the trash knowing I can not digest it or the spices will flare my UC.

My whole food truck dream, well we now have 2 other food truck here in town....non gluten free but they would still limit customers and I can not compete locally price wise...but oh well I can not find a investor, I am broke, no credit......yeah.

My most enjoyable thing every day is helping people here on these forums, like literally it is so great knowing I at least can still help people and serve a use to society. Also I enjoy creating flavors with extracts everyday and looking forward to food holidays.

Social Anxiety and Introverted nature have gotten worse....like I require headphones to leave my safe bubble, and I have to be alone in my house for extended amounts of time to recharge. Time limit outside my home is like 4-6 hours before I start feeling anxious/cornered.

I am torn in life, I can sell some stuff and assets I have, and go 3 ways. I have one shot this year at this and have to make the choice.
1. I can fix this tooth...have miserable days without that live life for the moment knowing I will not die soon but later for autoimmune complications or random anaphylactic shock, budgeting with money slowly driving my family into the ground.
2. I can buy a motor cycle and share it with my dad, and knock one off the bucket list. Gain feeling of freedom, and save on gas money for grocery store runs.
3. I can buy some catering equipment and try to further my business in a semi futile manner and see if I can get investors for the truck showing off my skills. Perhaps flip my life?

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I vote for option 4.

Contact some local dentist and ask if they will do the tooth repair free.  They might be glad to do it if you talk to a TV or radio show and get them to mention the dentist .

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Might be getting lucky the infection is responding to this Sovereign silver stuff I was told to take. The tooth, does not feel like my tooth but a dull foreign object in my mouth, it wiggles a bit now. If it falls out, that saves me a few hundred dollars.
Pushing my chef jobs more, and.....having some issues with my bakery I will highlight in a week once I get the facts straight about the incident and the outcome.

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Your blog post says a lot about the poor state of health care in the USA. Since you are in TX (I believe) consider crossing into one of Mexico's larger border towns to go to a dental clinic. Of course research which clinic well, as many Americans do this for all kinds of medical treatment, and these clinics cater often to Americans who are in your situation. Last year my son got 2 wisdom teeth pulled in Taiwan because the cost there was far less than even our copay here in CA, and we have full dental insurance.

Starting up any business is both difficult, and risky. Above all I think you need to find a job that may allow you to break out of the introverted tendencies and interact with people more. A food truck would certainly do that, but why not first get a job in a food truck, or a restaurant? This way you could decide if that line of work is really for you, then, if you discover that you still love it, find a way to start up your own business, if that is still your goal.

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2 hours ago, Scott Adams said:

Your blog post says a lot about the poor state of health care in the USA. Since you are in TX (I believe) consider crossing into one of Mexico's larger border towns to go to a dental clinic. Of course research which clinic well, as many Americans do this for all kinds of medical treatment, and these clinics cater often to Americans who are in your situation. Last year my son got 2 wisdom teeth pulled in Taiwan because the cost there was far less than even our copay here in CA, and we have full dental insurance.

Starting up any business is both difficult, and risky. Above all I think you need to find a job that may allow you to break out of the introverted tendencies and interact with people more. A food truck would certainly do that, but why not first get a job in a food truck, or a restaurant? This way you could decide if that line of work is really for you, then, if you discover that you still love it, find a way to start up your own business, if that is still your goal.

I am blessed to have found a good dentist that will work with financing and good pricing, just having to wait til my family gets the money which will be soon to get the down payment.

Well the problem with working in other places...I have found some gluten free places...that work with corn which I am highly allergic to. The so called Paleo places still have wheat options and non gluten free kitchen..so no tasting or safe to work in. NONE of the trucks even in the big cities here are 100% gluten free or even safe for celiacs...just fad options.
I love working in safe environments for limited time frames like what a food truck would involve, or working out of my own kitchen like I am now doing catered meal and bakery commissions.
I really just wish I could have someone come up and offer to run the whole paperwork/sponsor side and just let me run the damn kitchen in a truck (every chefs dream, just let me cook). I am starting a new chef FB page (yesterday) and showcasing dishes hoping to gather a following then start pushing for investors.

Thanks for the imput.

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    • Ennis_Tx, I was braking teeth in my 20's too! Be sure to share this link with your dentist they will never believe you it is not poor oral hygeine on your part. http://www.jcda.ca/article/b39/ Ennis_Tx look into trialing some K2 dots. Vitamin D gets all the press in/with bone density but Vitamin K could be just as important IF I only knew these things 20 years ago. Here is two good articles about K2 for dental caries/IE cavities. https...
    • I heard you should put broken teeth in whole milk and then in the fridge.   I cracked off a corner of my back molar recently.  It doesn't show, but I can empathize.  A celiac relative cracked off both of her front teeth.   My Asperger sense of humor says it's time to go shopping for a grill!  Maybe adding a calcium supplement to balance out the magnesium will help.  The body leeches calcium out of teeth and bones when it needs more.   Egads, that mak...
    • Ugh!  I am so sorry!  I just cracked a tooth (vertical) on either a macadamia nut or mint chip ice cream.   I hope the crown does the trick or the tooth is lost.  I did the same years ago with a raw carrot.   No hard stuff for me!  I hope you can get it fixed or at least protect it for a while.  
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    • but the gene test is NOT going to r/o celiac!
    • I was. Referred to a dietitian but  she noticed before I had my biopsy I wasn't on gluten long enough so has given me the option of going back on gluten and having another biopsy or a gene test so opted for genes test so now waiting
    • Plumbago, We are just trying to be helpful. Sometimes as you say a "Cigar is just a Cigar". How is your Iron? Your Hemoglobin seemed to be on the low normal side. Here is a study on Iron status and sleep quality. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4480468/ I hope it is helpful. I don't think you have really bad sleep apnea or your C-reactive proteins would be higher or according to this this research that I came across...
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