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my3monkees

Looking For Insight

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Hello,

 

My daughter has been diagnosed for 5 1/2 years, since she was 11. She is great with the diet, that is not a problem. Unfortunately over the years we have had to eliminate many more foods. But each time she accepts it and moves on. She is one of the few people I know who literally eat to live, not live to eat! LOL

She has been having more problems lately. I'm at such a loss, I can't seem to pin it down, possible corn. It is also hard, because she often times hides it from me. She hates being fussed over. She also knows, I think it is time to head back to doctors office to get some insight. Unfortunately she is extremely phobic of needles. Not just scared or nervous, but a true phobia. Just thinking about the doctors office makes her sick, so its hard to distinguish nerves and true illness with her. But one thing I have been thinking about is dishes. My dishwasher broke in July and alot of her problems have been building up since then. My home is largely gluten free, but my husband and middle son both still eat gluten. I would like to make the house totally gluten free. But financially I just can't. Especially feeding a 14 yr. old, who is already 5'9 and growing like a weed!

Neither one of them are as careful as they should be, even after so many years. My husband is the worst offender! He would have a fit, it someone else glutened her, but can be so careless himself!

My point issomething that just hit me today,  I'm often times cleaning crumbs off counter or table then dumping into sink. Which I have always done, clean rag each day. But normally I wouldn't them move on to washing dishes. But now dishes are being washed in the same sink, using same rag. Gluteny dishes and non gluten dishes being washed together. They should all be being rinsed thoroughly, but the kids are doing alot of it, so no guarantee. I wonder if handwashing dishes could be causing problems? With the dishwasher, there are no rags or towels and water is getting heated to very high temp and rinsing thoroughly. Hopefully we can have it fixed within a month or so. Can't decide if this is a good idea, or am I grasping at straws, so I don't have to take her to doctors office! LOL

If you have made it thru entire post, I thank you! Any insights much appreciated!

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Hand washing dishes isn't a problem. I do it, and in a house with gluten eaters. What I do not do, and would never consider doing, is using a gluten covered rag to wash my dishes. It's possible you're grasping at straws. It's also possible that you're just depositing gluten right back on your dishes if you aren't careful. When I do dishes, because I share a house and kitchen, but none of my "stuff," I use a clean rag to wash the sink out before running water then put that rag in the dirty pile. I use a new clean rag to wash my dishes with.

 

And while it maybe isn't my business to butt in here, I'm going to anyway, you need to have a conversation with your husband. Explain to him that he would have a fit if anyone else treated your kitchen and his own daughter's health as flippantly as he does. If his actions are putting her at risk he needs to stop, no matter how unpleasant the conversation.

 

With so many variables you mentioned it's probably hard to pin down exactly what the problem is but addressing what you can at home may help. It can't hurt. And since your daughter is still a minor you can do one thing for her, as long as it won't turn into a violation of trust thing. Schedule her appointment and don't tell her until the day of the appointment. If stressing about it the entire time leading up to it will make her sick, just eliminate the entire part that makes her sick. And not every appointment leads to needles, so there is possibly some anxiety or something about just doctors in general there. Addressing that now and getting her the help she needs to deal with it instead of letting her face the world as she becomes an adult with a life-altering anxiety/phobia will make a huge difference for her.

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Adalaide-

I am so mad at myself about the dish rag. I have been doing this long enough to know better. I usually do have a dishwasher though. Mine broke in July.

I've talked to my husband many times! He listens for awhile, then gradually starts all over again.

My daughter is a minor but an older one. She is almost 17, graduating this year. So unfortunately trust would play an issue. I have thought of doing exactly that though. What I may do is call her ped and talk to her. I worry about her fear of doctors, I have no idea why she is so paranoid. I know she has held back from telling me she is sick, to avoid the doctor. When I do force hrt in she refuses to talk. This has only developed as she has gotten older and gets worse steadily. So its not something I was able to address when she was younger.

Teenager plus chronic illness, plus fear of doctors, equals a very stressful combination!

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My husband is a gluten eater and I am not. I have never had a dishwasher. I do most of the cooking. I do have my designated pans and he has his. When it comes to washing dishes I wash his 1st. Then when I wash mine I get my sponge I don't set my dishes in water I let the water run over my dishes. I wash and rinse with the water running , dry them and put them away. I inspect all the spoons and stuff, I have my favorite spoon and fork I usually use. I don't dry them with the same towel either. If you have a problem get a Pink sponge or a pink towel and tell the boys these are girl towels and not to touch them. They can be deemed gluten-free towels. When it comes to counter tops I have a platter I use, it is my platter when hubbs has had his way in the kitchen I will get my platter out and use that. My dishes, my platter my towels my sponge, and stuff :) Thats how I handle having a messy gluten eater :) Good Luck !! And I think Adalaide had a great idea about the Dr. Apt. 

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Just wanted to add that if your daughter is developing additional food sensitivities/intolerances you may want to try a rotation diet.  I've never tried it myself - maybe someone more familiar with it will chime in here - but from what I understand of it you rotate through food in the same family every 4 days.  So for example, if you have potatoes on Monday you don't eat potatoes or any other nightshade foods again until at least Friday.  From what I've read on this forum, some people find relief from food sensitivities by doing this.

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