Jump to content
  • Sign Up


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


Psychedelics Changed My Life.

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,


I have to share something that I have experienced over the past two months. It has been two of the most amazing experiences of my life, and they changed everything. Please please please! Do not be discouraged and stop reading due to the fact that I am writing about altering substances. If you don't know anything about them, then please hold off your judgement and ego till you have finished reading. Or else you might miss out on something valuable. 


*PS - I do not want any of you to approach what I did without a lot of prior experience and a strong mental health (something I did not have at the time). It should be done with supervision with professionals.


Before I begin it is important to know that it was not long ago my weight was 55kg which is little for a 5.9" as a male. I was a walking skeleton. A famine child. It sort of was my fault. I had been putting HUUUUGE amounts of gluten into my system close to a decade. I know this doesn't seem long, but when you have been gluten free from the age of 2 till 17 and then begin, it hurts.


It was the end of 2012 and I had just come back home to Norway from Vancouver after a year of hardcore studying. I was ill the whole year, but managed to get through with medical marijuana. Scored 80% just to prove to you guys that weed is not the sinner you may think it is. It usually is the person using it. Any how, it then happend. I crashed and got so ill that I could not get out of bed for a week straight. I could barely lift my body. I had gluten ataxia, anemia, my bones had deteriorated because my body couldn’t get any nutrient. I also had chronic anxiety and depression plus a ton more of side effects, and had been dealing with it for over two years already.  I was in so much pain I thought this was it. I was going to die.


Fast forward and we are now in 2014. It has been two years and I feel a bit better, but I had done nothing but eat, stay at home and work out. That was as far as my energy would allow me. I was still chronically depressed and had deep issues with my thoughts. I kept blaming myself. I knew I could have done differently. I knew it was going to hurt me, because I was told I had celiac disease when I was a small child. The problem was that it came so gradually. I didn't feel the effect till years after. So I got to a point where I was smoking weed every day to cope with the pains and to actually manage to eat. A few years back I had read about something called Ayahuasca. This is one of the most powerful substances on the planet, and it is a medicine, NOT a drug (please, again I ask of you. Trust me on this and hold off your judgement). It comes from the jungle in Peru and Ecuador. This plant, combined with a root creates a drinkable tea like substance which alters your body, your mind and perception. You are totally aware, but it allows you to analyse yourself from a microscope and you have no other possibility than to actually submit and go through it all. To really sit and feel, think, and challenge all your deeper demons. Ayahuasca was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was with a shaman and 22 other people. It forced me to relive all my past horrors. It made me understand. I cannot have good without bad. It put everything into perspective. It showed me so many horrible things I thought I was dying. I felt my ego shattered across the universe and all my atoms just flew to every edge. After this it taught me the most beautiful of things. It taught me so many beautiful lessons I was speechless. And by the end of that night. I felt a bliss I had never felt in my entire life. I felt the strongest connection to the world, the universe, my family, my friends, my pets. Everything made sense. (I have a full report from the whole ceremony if you want to experience the night in a detailed manner).


So I left the ceremony after the first night, even though they had three ceremonies in total. This was a mistake. I had opened gates I didn’t know how to close. It all went from feeling the most amazing I had in my whole life, to the worst I had felt in my life over the course of two days. I just couldn’t deal with it. So I fell back into my old habit. Mary jane. It was my coping mechanism for so long. It felt safe.


A month passed and the weather had gotten beautiful (this was roughly two weeks ago). I had two tabs of LSD laying in a storage space and a friend of mines curiosity had peaked regarding psychedelics. We decided to take one each, and go to the forest with another friend who was there to take care of us. It turned out to become one of the most spectacular events, visually. No solid shapes existed any more. Every person, every animal, and everything else turned into energy. As far as eye could see energy was dancing. This gave me closure. It changed something inside me. It took what I didn’t complete with the amazonian brew, and shut the gate.


It has now been three weeks and I have made a pact to myself to never ever drink again. I am done with smoking weed. I am done with hurting my body and those around me. I am a changed man. My goal now is to spread as much joy and peace as humanly possible. To become wealthy so I can start helping other people who need it. I don’t want to focus on myself anymore (which used to be all I focused on). Ayahuasca will be used again, because it is a medicine and you do not get addicted to it. It is not a joy ride, but an enlightening journey through yourself and something way way beyond what we can explain. Is it real? Who knows, but from what I felt… how could it not be. How can you feel something like that and believe it is all fake. It just can’t be. 


So with this I hope you guys can see that there has been an alteration inside of me. I no longer regret my past mistakes. They have been dealt with. I feel reborn. I feel amazing every second every day of my waking life. Regardless of how I actually feel. Because I know that life is beautiful and there is a balance. You will receive equal amounts of bad and good in your life. As long as you keep focusing on the positive and work hard to not fall into your old habits. I wish I could share what I felt with all of you, but I know that these substances are not to be played with and you should NOT do them without experience, professional help or the mental strength to deal with it. Because it can ruin your life, but it can also change it for the better, if use with care. 


My last finishing words are that I have been using these substances with care for the past 9 years, and it was not until recently that I saw the healing potential. They can do amazing things. The world is opening up to it and more and more people are writing about them. Maybe one day there will be centres where you can go and do this. Because they make you rest and feel reborn. They can also break addiction or help cope with cancer or other illnesses that are terminal. 

Ps. No, I'm not a hippy ;) just a man who wants to experience everything that life has to offer, as long as it yields positive results. I do not jump into things like this lightheartedly. Always with a deeper intention.


I love you all. Be well and stay strong. Together we will make the world a beautiful place :)



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I read this Nat Geo article about how an MD is using it for possible mental health treatments, but he cautions doing it without medical supervision






"How can you feel something like that and believe it is all fake. It just can’t be. "



But that's the nature of altered experiences...you think it's real, but it's not. It's altered. 


You asked for non-judgment, but I see you used the term hippy as if it were a "bad thing" and associated with the

use of LSD & shamanism ....it's not really...I'm an old hippie, I am not using LSD  and I view shamanism skeptically. ^_^


You may wish to give your brain a few months off. As in no drugs--even the kind you think is helpful.


Glad you feel blissful! it's a very good thing to be truly  happy. (I can hear the song playing now....)


Be well!!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I just asked for non-judgement in hope that people would not just turn away the second they saw it was related to substances. I know a lot of people that won't touch that subject with a 500-foot pole because they are afraid or just have strong beliefs, and usually without any personal experience. 

Regarding the "hippie" term, yeah I guess it was poorly wording on my part because I know that is a word that comes with many connotations that might not be true.

Anyway, I am definitely going to have at least a three month break before I go on another adventure, but I admit that Ayahuasca is something I will probably use for as long as I am alive. It is a great tool to work on yourself to get unstuck when you really can't get further yourself.


Meditation is something I do daily and it has helped me so much, but it can only do "so much" so quickly, and sometimes you want to jolt the process to make some quicker progress. The shamans say having a learning experience every 2-3 month is good, but more than that will do more harm than good.


I can finally appreciate what is as my lens got reset. Like when you were a child and got to explore the world for the first time. It feels amazing...


Thanks for the kind words I truly appreciate it :) I wish you all the best

Fyi, here is my report from the ceremony if you are interested in reading https://www.dropbox.com/s/l137xqn5ujpx236/No%20Pain%2C%20No%20Gain%20-%20First%20Ayahyasca%20%20-%203%20doses.rtf

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, I take no stock in shamans, but if you say it helped you, who am I to say otherwise?


I look at life differently, that's all. I am considerably older than you and I do not want to "get rid of my experiences"--even the traumatic ones--and I have no regrets. Even my screw ups made me who I am. I did some really stupid s$#& in my youth, but who doesn't?


 And i was deathly ill for many years from UnDxed celiac, so I tend to view each day as a gift.

My life was essentially a living hell, but now, it isn't. I am happy to be alive and kicking and I view my body as

something to be taken care of. 


I get re-booted every single morning when I wake up and watch the sunrise over the water.


Just don't keep doing something that messes with your brain so much, okay?


You seem like a good kid. I lost a nephew to drugs and it destroyed his parents and everyone who knew him.

Totally senseless...he was partying, he took too many, went to sleep, never woke up again. He was 19.


I do not buy the "everything happens for a reason" thing because I can find no good reason for that waste of a beautiful life.


Just be careful.  This kind of thing you are doing does not come without risks. 

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I do understand where you are coming from and I do keep that in the back of my head. Trust me, I am a bit scared every time I do these things because you never know how it will turn out, and quite frankly my last experience had its downside at the end where I actually thought I broke myself. I was stuck in a very weird place and felt very confused and lost. Luckily I came back to my old self, else I wouldn't be typing here today.

These things do come with their downsides and should not be taken lightheartedly. I learned that the hard way and quite frankly I am a bit afraid of doing it again, but I have decided that if I am to do it again it will be much much less so that I can use it as a tool more than just to get an experience.

Also, I did not attend the ceremony to get rid of my memories, they are all still there. I just couldn't confront the memories. It helped me separate myself from the pain so I could look at it objectively from a new lens, and then it made the past memories seem less bad. It could have been so much worse! I am still alive and kicking! Stronger than ever...

I wish I could wake up to the sunrise across the water and I truly envy you :) some day...

I am really sorry for the loss of your nephew. It brings tears to my eyes and my throat knots up as I read this. I have lost close relatives myself. The sadness and pain it brings can be so hard to bare and not having a way to understand what actually happened makes it harder. I wish that upon nobody. I hope you have found peace and that he will stay with you. Keep him close to your heart. Hopefully in some new existence after the human body you will reunite.

I do not believe we are our bodies. I do sincerely and whole heartedly believe we are more than this weird meat vehicle that is flying through space on this little rock. Who are listening to our thoughts? Who are feeling the senses that the mind perceives? It can't just be the brain. That doesn't make sense to me. No energy can be born or destroyed. It only changes into new forms. That makes sense. Why shouldn't we? We are a part of the same matter and the same building blocks as everything else.

Lastly, I will be careful and make sure that it doesn't happen to me. I promise.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm from Vancouver.  I personally knew quite a few people who had problems with drug use.  One of my best friends ever died in a car accident driving early in the morning after smoking a lot of pot.  Another good friend ODed.  One more developed Parkinsons disease and his doctors thought it was related to his extensive LSD and magic mushroom use.  Our perception of the world comes from the interaction of our brain with our senses.  Drug use interfers with that.  It sends false signals.  I know that it can feel very enlightening.  Irishheart is right.  Stop the drug use and reconnect with reality.  There is beauty enough in the natural world.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a lot of fine lines in the discussion regarding illegal substances. Personal

responsibility is pretty much the only factor in distinguishing safe use and

unsafe use. Knowing you're using an altering substance and driving is

irresponsible and causes untold grief, just look at the drunk driving statistics. On

the other side of the coin, consider the study being done on low-dose psilocybin

and it's healing effects on PTSD sufferers. I've personally had marijuana relieve

serious pain from shingles, but find no benefit from it when I'm not ill or injured.

I haven't read enough about ayahuasca to have any opinion as to it's safety or

efficacy, but I do know LSD carries many dangers. My only wish for anyone

reading this conversation would be to take away this: STUDY. Study anything

you may choose to use exhaustively, discerningly, take nothing as a given or

for granted.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dilettantsteph. Let me tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I can tell you have gone through a lot of grief because of these substances. It saddens me so much to hear those stories. It really does.

I see why you don't want people to use these substances, but poor attention to use of anything will most likely cause some negative impact on our bodies. One can abuse anything. I know this argument doesn't hold when people have a higher risk of dying from these substances. You don't die instantly of an overdose from sugar or caffeine. What amazes me is how so many focus so negatively on these substances while alcohol and cigarettes are totally fine. They are the major killers across the globe. So easy to abuse and most people are "ok" with it, not everyone though (thank "god"). "Oooh you just got blackout drunk? Ha ha... so funny...". As if there were no dangers to it. Because, it wouldn't happen to me.

What I am trying to get at is that the person behind the drivers wheel is the one in control. If they can't control them selves with i.e food they will most likely end up obese. If they can't control their substance use they can end up damaged or at worst dead. This can happen with any substance or anything you put into your body. It is a sad state of affaire, but I don't think it is a reason to try and put an end to the psychedelic use. They can do wonderful things, if used correctly in a controlled manner with supervision. This is why I wish there were medical centres where people could go to get help. We have great benefits from them. The problem lies with the street sales considering we have no idea what they really contain. The second problem is that younger kids can get a hold of them like chocolate in the store. Meaning, they usually do not know how to approach them appropriately.

In the past three years I have taken psychedelics two times. With the intention to heal myself from a different level. There is no "falseness" to how I feel. They have changed me for the better. Maybe I am just lucky? I don't know. I personally believe it was not luck. It was what I set out to do. Not to have a joy ride. I have read many stories about such wonders, but I also have read many more stories of people who have not gotten the medical effect of it. The problem is when you start to take them just to get an experience. They shouldn't be used for fun. They should be used as a tool and the amount should never exceed a specific value due to the fact that you loose control over your body and you end up not gaining anything from the experience, but might end up hurting yourself from the lack of control or from the amount of substance. Street drugs is not something I enjoy using and I hope one day it can all be regulated so we know for a fact it is not just poison. Be grown or made in labs. Used by doctors or medical teams who can make sure everything goes well. Hopefully one day make some anti-drug that can pull them straight out if things go bad, but with a guide the bad usually doesn't happen if done correctly.

I am not trying to battle you here, but merely expressing my opinion. 

Chrissie32: Cheers

JNBunnie1: Well put :) I also think marijuana is wonderful when used to treat various illnesses or pain. It shouldn't be used recreationally though. Maybe once every month with friends in a park using a portable vape perhaps, but the habit of abuse is in the picture of almost every user. 

Amber Lyon is a journalist whom used to report war on terror and the likes. She healed her PTSD from seeing so much blood and murder in her job with ayahuasca. She saw the benefits and has now turned to psychedelic journalism. Quite interesting if you want to follow the progress.


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I see your point.  There are drugs available to us that could be effective to treat various ailments.  They have been made illegal since they are used recreationally.  At this point it is difficult to study their use in medicine.  There are certainly more dangerous drugs that can be prescribed than many of these illegal drugs.  This issue is being tacked with medical marijuana.


The question is whether it is safe to take psychedics.  I don't think that there is enough information available that would make taking psychedelics safe.  There is the question of whether or not they can be beneficial.  I don't that that they have been adequate studied.  Certainly your source would not be regulated by anyone.  I have known drug dealers who add stuff to their drugs before selling them.  Then there is training of personel who assist with the experience.  Can you be sure that precautions are adequate?  It seems like a big risk to me.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you on some points, and some I disagree with. I'll agree that they have been banned because people have harmed them selves in the past. I disagree that they did it in the right way. A complete ban is wrong. Stopping studies is wrong. It is neglectful and stupid. We loose a lot of potential medicine and open a world of street drugs. Recent studies show that they DO have healing effects on the brain. First and for most it can help with chronic depression, anxiety, PTSD, but most importantly and amazingly; it can cause brain cells to regenerate and grow.

As far as you say safe, do you mean safe for the brain? Or safe, as in psyche? There clearly is evidence that it does not harm the brain. Much like a low dose of MDMA will not cause any permanent damage and any damage that does happen reverses with time. Obvious problems there is the abuse by teenagers at festivals, clubs, concerts etc. I don't see why someone would add anything to psychedelics like mushrooms before selling as it serves no purpose. With coke, mdma etc yes. I get the part about trained personal. I agree! There is lack of this and this is why I want to see medical centres for people to explore these things in. To have safe environments where it can be used properly with the real stuff, not some street garbage. 

I know this will take a long time, but I think discarding their healing benefits because of past abuse is wrong. We need to start with a clean slate and see it for what it really is. When used appropriately :) They can do amazing things. The war on drugs, is more a war towards people opening their minds. The government, pharmaceutical companies, politicians and the likes have no people in their interest. That should be quite clear by now. Hopefully we can turn things around and help the majority of people that need help. This goes far beyond any substance though.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just putting my two cents in. Pot has saved me the last few years. Do I smoke daily?  Yup.   Do I eat daily?  Yup.  Would I eat if I didn't?  Not nearly as much, and I am a walking skeleton right now and need as much food as I can get! I also don't use it to get high, I use it more for the fact that is makes me hungry.

Just be careful.  It seems you are pretty set in your belief and I am glad it works for you.  I also understand you wanting others to know that there are other options out there that might help their situation.. so for that I thank you.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm glad it has helped you Beth! It also helped me through my studies abroad. Without it I would have stayed in bed all day, or worst case probably tried to end the suffering. I hope politicians and the people in power can stop being bribed, open their eyes to recent studies and start changing how we treat people. We know so much more now. 

Reset.me is a portal from the post CNN reporter Amber Lyon, who got PTSD from horrible events through journalism and has now started reporting psychedelics. She cured her PTSD with psilocybin mushrooms.  

A great live interview on TV w/ Amber >

I thought this could be interesting to read > http://reset.me/study/study-psychedelics-dont-harm-mental-health

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Forum Discussions

    You can try the AIP diet. It is very effective for treating IBS. Migraines are often linked to IBS. https://autoimmunewellness.com/aip-medical-study-results/ Also NAC an antioxidant that can cross the blood brain barrier. http...
    Well this year for Christmas we are doing something different, past I always hosted..and well some family issues meant my family generally either skipped or came a few days later to eat. This year my parents are finally having Christmas...
    Hey!  I found this article and I wondered if.... https://www.thehealthy.com/nutrition/medical-mystery-scurvy-2012/ It's about a man with scurvy, yep, Vitamin C deficiency!  Do you think your symptoms are similar? And this a...
  • Create New...