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7 Months in, still having "off" days :(

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3 minutes ago, Ennis_TX said:

Part of this is sorta relateable, For the past year I have been eating smoothies, shakes, or homemade protein icecream for dinner and soft microwaved eggs, avacado, and nut/seed butters. Reason being if I eat ANYTHING not blended, hard, or not  cooked to mush for dinner, I throw it up 2-4 hours later. No clue why but I can eat ANYTHING for breakfast, snack, lunch, while afternoon snacks, and dinner have to be soft or liquid.  Funny how it does this.

On a side note on anxiety I had a bit of a panic attack yesterday for the first time in a long time. Sales at the market were atrocious for some reason, great weather but hardly anyone out there. After making Vegan Cheesy garlic bread, Butter rum Cookies, Chocolate Brownies, Paleo Banana Muffins, and Paleo Cinnamon cake along with over 3lbs of 4oz tubs of artisan almond butters, only making $12 in sales for a entire market.......I snapped. Does not help I inhaled flour walking into a doughnut shop to use the restroom and got the mental gluten fog.  I literally started randomly yelling about I should say F**k it all get a nice life insurance program, and just end it all. Then went into a whole random rant while packing up about hating myself for being a useless leech yada yada yada, complaining about recent events, and health expenses, then a whole new rant our complaining about not having enough money to further my business, then another one about my recent medical cost and lack of ability to pay for them........yeah it got some odd looks...........I HAVE NEVER broken down into a suicidal rant publicly EVER before. So this in hindsight surprises me and scared the crud out of the guy next to me at the market. I later went back out there and apologized after taking some anti stress supplements and sleeping a few hours. PS NO worries about actual suicide pretty sure it was the fog talking, I really have too much to live for. I need stick around and provide food, moral support, and recipe idea for others with this disease (My found purpose in life).  I have dreams of opening a food truck for this purpose, and right now will keep running the bakery. 

I hate having days like that. I'm sorry. You're doing so much and I get that you're discouraged. I'm glad that it passed though and that you're determined to keep on keeping on. 

I don't know what to do about dinner. Seems like this happens more when I'm upset or stressed, and then even when the stress subsides the GI issues stick around for several days. :( 

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Mental issues like anxiety, depression, and ADHD are a big part of this. I had all three, especially as a kid.  Nobody talked about celiac, much less gluten sensitivity back then. Always toast for breakfast,  a sandwhich for lunch. Mom-why does my stomach always ache? Why dont the other kids like me? Wish I knew now what I know then! I am currently taking Wellbutrin for adult ADD that was diagnosed 15 years ago, before the gluten thing.  I have gone off in the past while eating gluten, had to go back on orders of my wife. I can probably safely go off now, but it sure helps me focus, and in my job I need that, at least until I retire.

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4 hours ago, Ennis_TX said:

Part of this is sorta relateable, For the past year I have been eating smoothies, shakes, or homemade protein icecream for dinner and soft microwaved eggs, avacado, and nut/seed butters. Reason being if I eat ANYTHING not blended, hard, or not  cooked to mush for dinner, I throw it up 2-4 hours later. No clue why but I can eat ANYTHING for breakfast, snack, lunch, while afternoon snacks, and dinner have to be soft or liquid.  Funny how it does this.

On a side note on anxiety I had a bit of a panic attack yesterday for the first time in a long time. Sales at the market were atrocious for some reason, great weather but hardly anyone out there. After making Vegan Cheesy garlic bread, Butter rum Cookies, Chocolate Brownies, Paleo Banana Muffins, and Paleo Cinnamon cake along with over 3lbs of 4oz tubs of artisan almond butters, only making $12 in sales for a entire market.......I snapped. Does not help I inhaled flour walking into a doughnut shop to use the restroom and got the mental gluten fog.  I literally started randomly yelling about I should say F**k it all get a nice life insurance program, and just end it all. Then went into a whole random rant while packing up about hating myself for being a useless leech yada yada yada, complaining about recent events, and health expenses, then a whole new rant our complaining about not having enough money to further my business, then another one about my recent medical cost and lack of ability to pay for them........yeah it got some odd looks...........I HAVE NEVER broken down into a suicidal rant publicly EVER before. So this in hindsight surprises me and scared the crud out of the guy next to me at the market. I later went back out there and apologized after taking some anti stress supplements and sleeping a few hours. PS NO worries about actual suicide pretty sure it was the fog talking, I really have too much to live for. I need stick around and provide food, moral support, and recipe idea for others with this disease (My found purpose in life).  I have dreams of opening a food truck for this purpose, and right now will keep running the bakery. 

You have helped me tremendously. I always come on here hoping to read a new reply by you and excited when I find one, you are a terrific person and you are very worthwhile. I'm sorry you had a rotten day with the market. I would buy a ton from you if I lived there.

 

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