Jump to content
  • Sign Up
  • Join Our Community!

    Do you have questions about celiac disease or the gluten-free diet?

Nadtorious

Cross Contamination in new living situation

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Hi gang. I'm sure everyone can relate to that wit's end moment with dealing with Celiac and I feel like I'm finally hitting mine. I was diagnosed 15 years ago and through that time have had lots of ups and downs teaching family, friends, partners, loved ones and restaurant staff how to safely make a meal for me (or anyone else with celiac for that matter). I've definitely had moments of feeling like a paranoid freak and like I have to be overly anal about issues, especially in dealing with cross contamination, but typically people have figured it out and we can all have a laugh and share a meal. This has also led me to become rather self conscious about the level to which I have to remind people about my sensitivity and feeling like a nag at times. But again, 15 years worth of boyfriends and others have figured it out without too much of a headache and I've always been grateful for the extra steps being taken to keep me healthy.

Until now. I just moved in with my boyfriend of a year and his 13 year old son and it's like a gluten bomb has gone off in the house. I've had a few talks with the BF about keeping things separate but I am still getting sick after almost each meal prepared by him or his son. We've talked about having a clean grill, keeping the cutting board clean, condiments....you guys know the drill. Last night I had to quietly (and awkwardly) ask him to wash his hands after eating a soft pretzel as he was about to prep dinner. It led to a big discussion after and I'm not sure it's really resonating other than he feels terrible (and I somehow got glutened again). On top of all that I just witnessed his son prep a bagel and immediately unload the dishwasher without washing his hands. This sounds like such dumb stuff but we all know it can get us sick, and I've pretty much been getting sick weekly since moving in (whereas I used to get sick 1-2 times a year).....

I guess my questions at this point are.....is this a lost cause? Without making this whole house gluten-free (which I'm not advocating for nor is he prepared to do) how can things like this be prevented (which I already seemingly know the answer to, it's just a matter of getting it to happen)? Do any of you have suggestions on how to have these conversations with confidence and not feel like a total freak in trying to explain how sick you get from a single crumb? Or how to get this across to a 13 year old without sounding like a crazy evil overbearing stepmother? I thought, after 15 years, I really had this dialed but clearly I have been proven wrong. Any and all suggestions welcome, including dumping boyfriend, moving out, tazing anyone who walks in the house with glutenous foods, and just getting over it in general. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, Nadtorious said:

Hi gang. I'm sure everyone can relate to that wit's end moment with dealing with Celiac and I feel like I'm finally hitting mine. I was diagnosed 15 years ago and through that time have had lots of ups and downs teaching family, friends, partners, loved ones and restaurant staff how to safely make a meal for me (or anyone else with celiac for that matter). I've definitely had moments of feeling like a paranoid freak and like I have to be overly anal about issues, especially in dealing with cross contamination, but typically people have figured it out and we can all have a laugh and share a meal. This has also led me to become rather self conscious about the level to which I have to remind people about my sensitivity and feeling like a nag at times. But again, 15 years worth of boyfriends and others have figured it out without too much of a headache and I've always been grateful for the extra steps being taken to keep me healthy.

Until now. I just moved in with my boyfriend of a year and his 13 year old son and it's like a gluten bomb has gone off in the house. I've had a few talks with the BF about keeping things separate but I am still getting sick after almost each meal prepared by him or his son. We've talked about having a clean grill, keeping the cutting board clean, condiments....you guys know the drill. Last night I had to quietly (and awkwardly) ask him to wash his hands after eating a soft pretzel as he was about to prep dinner. It led to a big discussion after and I'm not sure it's really resonating other than he feels terrible (and I somehow got glutened again). On top of all that I just witnessed his son prep a bagel and immediately unload the dishwasher without washing his hands. This sounds like such dumb stuff but we all know it can get us sick, and I've pretty much been getting sick weekly since moving in (whereas I used to get sick 1-2 times a year).....

I guess my questions at this point are.....is this a lost cause? Without making this whole house gluten-free (which I'm not advocating for nor is he prepared to do) how can things like this be prevented (which I already seemingly know the answer to, it's just a matter of getting it to happen)? Do any of you have suggestions on how to have these conversations with confidence and not feel like a total freak in trying to explain how sick you get from a single crumb? Or how to get this across to a 13 year old without sounding like a crazy evil overbearing stepmother? I thought, after 15 years, I really had this dialed but clearly I have been proven wrong. Any and all suggestions welcome, including dumping boyfriend, moving out, tazing anyone who walks in the house with glutenous foods, and just getting over it in general. 

Til he learns cook your own meals in a dedicated prep area. Use a fold out table, your own storage for your foods, disposable plates, and utensils, Get your own hybrid rice cooker/crock pot/steamer, your own microwave, and a griddle. Look into some nordic ware microwave cook ware. and use freezer paper on prep surfaces.  This way you can fix your own safe meals in your own area.   See if this works in the mean time til you train them, perhaps convert them to gluten-free and a gluten-free house. Relationships are about compromise and understanding, good luck with it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel your pain but instead of making the 3 others in the house conform to my standards, I just make my own meals w/or w/out them. I have my own appliances, my own shelf in the fridge and my own cupboard. They use as little flour as possible and use mine when it's in a recipe. Everything is separate. I've been doing this for 11 yrs and it still makes me feel like a freak but I watch everyone like a hawk in the kitchen and at the table. If in doubt, I ask what they used and I read all labels. It reminds me of living w/someone who eats your food so you have to hide it or write your name on it.

The main goal is YOU not getting sick, so stand up to them and get yourself your own gluten-free area to work in. My kids were teenagers and I didn't get sick, so you should be able to teach the 13 yr old. Good luck. Stand up for your gluten-free self. Personal question, does your significant other brush their teeth before kissing you? I don't kiss my fiance unless he's just brushed and not had beer or other poison for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This may seem like a lame idea but I think sometimes visuals can really bring home a point like nothing else can. To help them both understand just how little it takes to make you sick as a dog, how about a visual demonstration?  How about getting a measuring cup full of sand & asking them if they think that would be roughly a million grains of sand. Then have a pair of tweezers & remove 20 grains. Then tell them that 20 grains of sand (gluten) will make you sick for weeks. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
42 minutes ago, squirmingitch said:

This may seem like a lame idea but I think sometimes visuals can really bring home a point like nothing else can. To help them both understand just how little it takes to make you sick as a dog, how about a visual demonstration?  How about getting a measuring cup full of sand & asking them if they think that would be roughly a million grains of sand. Then have a pair of tweezers & remove 20 grains. Then tell them that 20 grains of sand (gluten) will make you sick for weeks. 

While this does seem to be a good idea, I think the sand thing might make them think you can just pick it off and not get the seriousness down.....following a another suggestion from a month or so ago about using rat poison (member suggested taking a bowl of food and bringing their husband in putting rat poison in it sitrring it all in in front of him and asking if he would eat it knowing there was rat poison in it [pretty sure this was thrown away])   Perhaps you can take a bowl of rice....show it to both the father and son and say "Gluten is poisonous to my body, gluten residue can be invisible and not able to be seen but can still make me sick." then pull out a can of RAID ant poison "This is poison right?" Spray it on the rice ask them if they would eat that. Ask them if they can see the poison on it. Spray it on a fork and ask them if they would use that fork.......might get the point across.....NOTE THROW AWAY AND WASH THEM AFTER THE EXAMPLE.

I am not SAYING or SUGGESTING to actually poison anyone, this is supposed to be done with their full awareness in front of them to MAKE A POINT, DO NOT feed them poison or do it with out them paying attention. This is for a visual teaching and AHH OK I GET IT NOW setting and comprehension.

My father has a allergy to poison ivy, I got my gluten issues across to him by asking him if he would like it if I took the poison ivy and dusted the kitchen, plates, pots and pans with it.......that look and quiet understanding was a huge turning point with me and him about my disease.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally, I would sit down with your BF and tell him that you really appreciate all the hard work that he is doing to keep the kitchen safe for you but that you are still getting sick.  Explain that even 1 crumb can make you sick and that you know that it is a very difficult task.  Then I would explain that you are going to make your own food for a while in hopes of feeling a bit better. You can still encourage family meals together and an occasional meal out to promote family time together. 

I would ask if you could have your own section of the fridge, labelled with your own stuff that no one eats from. Get some pyrex dishes with lids, your own scrub brush, and your own condiments. (I don't think you need your own microwave, but definitely get your own toaster.

As your relationship grows, either he will grow to understand your illness more and want to help you feel better and do everything he can to help it OR he will not be interested in helping you stay healthy.  Hopefully, it's the first, but if it's the second, then you will eventually know that it's time to get your own place and decide if you should move on. 

Hope it works out!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think Jen above has the right idea. However well you communicate it they won't develop the kind of reflex responses, at least soon enough to keep you well. Your current level of glutening is putting your long term health at risk so you need to act now and Jen's approach offers the best chance of swift results without ending the relationship. 

I do think its worth having another go with the communication however and trying to put yourself in their shoes may help with that. Outside this forum, the whole thing probably seems bizarre. I find a lot of people can only understand it in terms of 'avoidance'  - ie. You're 'avoiding' gluten like others might 'avoid' spicy food etc. They get that you don't want to eat it, because it presumably upsets your stomach, but they absolutely do not get that there is an auto immune response taking place. That it's closer to AIDS than gastroenteritis in some ways. Hope you understand what I mean by that, I know it sounds melodramatic! 

Don't try and explain the science, just keep it to a couple of key points. 

One glutening per month makes some scary changes to celiac morbidity rates.  It could affect you in many different ways including in rare cases some very serious ones indeed.

It only takes a tiny amount.

Recovery can take weeks. 

And then try and create that safe space Jen has outlined above. 

Best of luck :)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Top Posters +

  • Upcoming Events

    • March 24, 2019 Until March 27, 2019
      0  
      NEW ORLEANS GOURMET GLUTEN-FREE mini GETAWAY    March 24 ~ 27, 2019   We have arranged a fun and Gluten-free food filled mini in the city known for it's food and fun.  We have arranged to eat many of the famous dishes that aren't usually Gluten-free at a few of the World Renown restaurants.   Staying at the Royal Sonesta Hotel on Bourbon Street in the center of the French Quarter, you'll be able to enjoy the ambiance of the city at all hours.   Our itinerary will include a Luxury Coach tour of the city and surrounding area - Admission to The National World War II Museum, including the Tom Hanks" 4D film "Beyond All Boundaries" - an exciting Airboat ride and tour through the Bayou.      This it the 3rd time we have visited New Orleans and it has always been well attended, so join us even if you've been there before.  Check out our website for the complete itinerary and cost.    Due to contractual obligations we must have 20 participants by October 31, 2018 to make this a go.      If you have any questions just give us a call at 410-939-3218.  Bob & Ruth info@bobandruths.com (410) 939-3218
    • March 27, 2019 04:00 PM Until 08:00 AM
      0  
       
       
       
      Celiac Emotional Healing Support Group
       
       
       
      Again you are invited to join Johnny Patout, LCSW for Baton Rouge's first emotional healing support group meeting to assist those living with celiac disease manage the emotional challenges so many of us face. Most often the emotional disturbances include depression, disinterest in normal activities, insomnia, grief, mood changes, anxiety, inability to concentrate, extreme concern about managing a gluten-free lifestyle and other emotional and behavioral challenges.
       
      The professionals at Jamestown Avenue Counseling Center created the emotional healing support group to give us a safe place to begin to process our emotions and support each other as we heal emotionally while managing celiac disease and the resulting autoimmune disorders.
       
      The emotional healing support group meets every Thursday, 6:00-7:00pm, at the Jamestown Avenue Counseling Center of Baton Rouge. Jamestown Avenue Counseling Center is located at 4637 Jamestown Avenue, Baton Rouge, Suite B-1. Suite B-1 is upstairs.
       
      The support group is free and open everyone managing celiac disease. For more information: emotionalhealingforceliacs@hotmail.com
    • March 30, 2019 Until March 31, 2019
      0  
      Nourished Festival is a family-friendly event with 10 locations across the US. Attendees will be able to sample food, health and beauty products, meet with companies, learn about the most current food lifestyles, receive coupons and attend educational sessions with industry experts. 
      Nourished Festival, managed by The Nourished Group and presented by Enjoy Life Foods, is the largest gluten-free, allergy-friendly and specialty diet event in the US, with 10 locations including.
      ABOUT THE NOURISHED FESTIVALS
      Managed by The Nourished Group, formerly The Gluten Free Media Group, The Nourished Festivals are the largest and fastest growing special diet consumer events in the United States. Started in 2007, the events have expanded from one to ten cities throughout the country. The festivals cater to anyone looking to lead a healthier lifestyle or those who follow a specialty diet due to autoimmune conditions, food sensitivities, allergies or intolerances. Offerings including Paleo, Keto, Plant-Based, Gluten-Free, Allergen-Friendly and Nut-Free products. The events provide the opportunity for attendees to sample and purchase new products, receive coupons, meet with brand ambassadors and attend educational classes with industry experts. For more information, visit http://www.nourishedfestival.com 
       
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      86,789
    • Most Online
      4,125

    Newest Member
    MonicaGrubb
    Joined
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      112,059
    • Total Posts
      956,641
  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Forum Discussions

    Healthysquirrel,  Please have your doctor check your Vitamin D level!   Vitamin D deficiency is related to vertigo https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27386060 Vitamin D can help with high IgE https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5263170/ Low vitamin D and low ferritin are tied https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29385099 Dry eye problems including blepharitis can be helped with vitamin d and vitamin a https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles
    He's still going to have to eat gluten even for an endoscopic biopsy. 2 weeks minimum. Plus guidelines say no dx on an endoscopic biopsy alone - you have to have the positive blood to go with it. Even that 2 weeks will deposit more antibodies under his skin if he's got dh.  Let me put it this way. The gut damage is the gut damage & if he's celiac & it sounds like he is but we don't have labs to prove it, then there is a treatment for it. Only 1 treatment for it. A very strict gluten
Knitty Kitty, Here is the link to the Old research. I think you will find it interesting. ..I know you used Niacin to treat your itching with your DH. https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/82674034.pdf see Case IV but read them all when you get the chance. they review 12 case studies. I hope this is helpful but it is not medical advise. Posterboy,
  • Blog Entries

  • ×
    ×
    • Create New...