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glutenfreeheather

Am I The Only One Who Feels This Way?

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Hi Heather, I haven't been on here for awhile, but i just wanted to let you know when I read your letter, I felt like I was reading about me. I have been gluten free for a year now, and I have felt ALL of those things you do. I have had melt downs with my boyfriend and what I thought to be "inconsideration" turned out to be "just not understanding". Now this man will be my voice when we go to restaurants, and will tell them everything they need to do....and why. His son gets embarrased and then he tells him too bad if it embarrasses him, this is my life and what I need to be healthy.

About depression, I have MS also, and Celiac was DX the same time the MS struck. I am the face of depression. I have taken 4 different meds in the last year and have NO LUCK with any of them. So I went to see a counselor, who did nothing for me. All she wanted to discuss was abuse in my past, etc, and was not helping me with my illnesses. So I went back to my family doctor and said I need a psychologist who specializes in seeing people with chronic illness. BINGO! I was sent right to someone who is the best thing to ever happen to me. We do not go in there an discuss much about my past, we focus on coping with what is now and just touch on the other things. My self esteem has been brought up to new heights it hasn't been to .....EVER! She gives me "homework" every week which is usually reading about other people and how they act and how they end up coping.

This will help you very much, believe me.

Also, as a teenager I used to write poetry at times, nothing real good, but just things to get my feelings out. So I sit down when I am depressed and write down my feelings. This has really helped me. I feel a sense of relief when I am done, and it changes my mood. The things that have come out of me are unbelievable, and I think when I am to the point where I am totally accepting of my life, I will have these poems published in a book for people with Chronic illness.

See, a few months ago, I was on here crying about my life and this disease, and I still do, don't get me wrong, but that psychologist has done wonders for me, and this is something you should look into.

There is no shame in asking for help! You need it, and it is NORMAL!!!!!

I have every faith that your husband will come around.

And yes, I sometimes go through a period where I run off a list of what I will eat if ever I had the chance again. Big Macs, pizza, donuts, white bread, KFC, it's all on the list. : )

Hang in there.

Denise

Thank you SO much for writing...you are right in that your story sounds SO similar to mine. More so than you know b/c I too used to write my feelings out in poetry. I know I need to find someone to talk to and I'm looking into that b/c I know that my issues go back further than my diagnosis.

Thank you for your encouragement and good luck in your continued gluten-free journey!


Heather

Gluten Free since 2005!

Am I falling apart??...

Diagnosed with celiac disease, February 2005

Diagnosed with arthritis of the spine, Fall 2005

Diagnosed with GAD, Spring 2006

Diagnosed with hypothyroidism, Fall 2006

Diagnosed with High BP, Summer 2007

"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

GO VOLS!!

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Have fun with the chebe pizza! Even my hubby likes it, and he spit out perfectly good gluten-free banana bread :rolleyes:

I'm having it tonight, too! I have a girl scout lock in to go to and I'm going to eat that while they have Papa John's (which is the worst pizza ever! :P )

ENJOY!!! :lol::lol::lol:


Alright, don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy

We'll all float on, alright

Well we'll float on good news is on the way...

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Have fun with the chebe pizza! Even my hubby likes it, and he spit out perfectly good gluten-free banana bread :rolleyes:

I'm having it tonight, too! I have a girl scout lock in to go to and I'm going to eat that while they have Papa John's (which is the worst pizza ever! :P )

ENJOY!!! :lol::lol::lol:

How do you make your chebe' bread as crust? I'm using the original mix b/c I didnt too much like the garlic mix. What cheese do you use?

THANKS!!! :D


Heather

Gluten Free since 2005!

Am I falling apart??...

Diagnosed with celiac disease, February 2005

Diagnosed with arthritis of the spine, Fall 2005

Diagnosed with GAD, Spring 2006

Diagnosed with hypothyroidism, Fall 2006

Diagnosed with High BP, Summer 2007

"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

GO VOLS!!

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How do you make your chebe' bread as crust? I'm using the original mix b/c I didnt too much like the garlic mix. What cheese do you use?

THANKS!!! :D

I've only ever used they're actual pizza crust mix, but I would follow the directions for making regular bread and roll out the dough thin, brush with olive oil, and bake for 20-30 mins, take it out and top it with cheese and sauce and put it back into the oven for 10 mins.

I put parm in the crust, like the directions say, and it gives it a wonderful flavor. I use normal pizza cheeses because I'm a recent dx. and I refuse to give up dairy (yet). One of the best pizzas I ever had was with pesto sauce and grilled shrimp. Very decadent but oh so good.

I also caramelize some thinly sliced onions to go on the crust before I add the sauce and cheese :lol:


Alright, don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy

We'll all float on, alright

Well we'll float on good news is on the way...

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I'm glad your feeling better!!!!! I am having pizza for the first time since gluten-free tonight! I like the idea that we are all in company!!!!! :P

I'm glad that things are working out for you-God is good! I always get messed up when I forget that, or forget to ask Him for some help and guidance!

Enjoy your weekend!

Lollie


tests inconclusive, diet conclusive January 2006

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Heather:

Everything will get better. I was diagnosed with in the middle of my jr. year of college. My GPA had slipped from a 3.5 to 2.5 because I felt bad and finally the eighth doctor figured out what I had. Two months after being diagnosed, I mentally snapped and ended up at the emergency room with a self inflicted (superficial) stab wound. It never should have gotten that far. I got help from our university's couseling service. I realized that celiac was a part of me and with help, I was able to turn everything around. From that point on, I had three straight semesters of A's and am now two months form completing my masters degree.

I spent such a big part of my life looking at the negative aspects of Celiac. I've gotten lucky because all of my friends and family have been really supportive. I've also figured out that experimentation with new foods and recipes has been fun. My wife loves to try to make new gluten-free things. As for pizza, I have found a really good pizza crust that tastes exactly like Monical's Pizza. I mean identical. I don't think that anyone can have a good grasp on the wide variety of gluten-free food without time and advice from others. It seems like I am discovering great new foods every week. I hope everything works out for you.

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What's the best gluten free pizza crust out there?? I'm sick of the brown rice crusts I get, yuck!! I can get gluten free sausage down the street and he leaves out the MSG for me. What a guy!!

We order the "Famous Pizza Crust" from 'Cause your special. It is really light, not grainy and tastes like the real thing. We also use it to make breadsticks.

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Guest Robbin

Is 'Cause you're special" an online co. ? I'd love to order it for my family. Ilstate, I am so glad it was a "superficial" wound. What a story to share. Thank you. There is a reason you have this, and it is to help other young people, (older, too) Take care :)

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I've been treated for depression for the first time in my life during the last six months. I, too, just hit the one year mark. About 3 months after going gluten-free I got horribly depressed; had never had this in my life. I tried everything under the SUN to cure it naturally; exercise, yoga, meditation, therapy, natural supplements like 5 HTP and Gaba. None of it worked. After much probing from 2 doctors, I started taking Effexor. I've been on it for 5 months now and have never felt better. It kind of sucked at first because there were some side effects, but they went away and now I will leave the house again!

I am 100% convinced that withdrawl of wheat in your diet after 29 years causes serious hormonal changes. I'd never felt that way in my life and even my friends and family were staging interventions of sorts for me to get help!

I'm very grateful and thank God every day that I had the courage to take the meds with all of the crap in the media about it. I felt so guilty I would not take them and now I say, who cares about Tom Cruise? He doesn't have to live inside my head. I now refuse to feel guilty. I don't advise anyone else into meds; I say speak with doctors and get second opinions before you decide on any course of treatment and do what feels right for YOU and no one else.

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We order the "Famous Pizza Crust" from 'Cause your special. It is really light, not grainy and tastes like the real thing. We also use it to make breadsticks.

I just tried the Whole Foods frozen pizza crust, it was great, besides not having to mix it up!

Lollie


tests inconclusive, diet conclusive January 2006

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Is 'Cause you're special" an online co. ? I'd love to order it for my family. Ilstate, I am so glad it was a "superficial" wound. What a story to share. Thank you. There is a reason you have this, and it is to help other young people, (older, too) Take care :)

Yeah, "cause your special" is an online seller. We used the pizza crust last night. Just before that, I had to go out to a pizza place with my friends for a meeting. But we made My pizza when we got home. Its pretty easy. You have to mix it up, bake the crust by itself, add your sauces and toppings and then bake it again. It sounds like a process, but it isn't. The second baking is pretty much just to melt your cheese. You can make it as thin as you want and I'm serious when I say that it doesn't taste like most gluten-free crusts. Alot of them are like cardboard, but this is the real thing. I think i stated before that it tastes like a Monical's Pizza Crust. I don't know if you have them where you live. They may just be in the midwest. You can also roll them up into breadsticks too. Just do a websearch for the company and you should find it.

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Guest BERNESES
I started taking Effexor. I've been on it for 5 months now and have never felt better. It kind of sucked at first because there were some side effects, but they went away and now I will leave the house again! I am 100% convinced that withdrawl of wheat in your diet after 29 years causes serious hormonal changes.

You know- that's a REALLY good point. I think that if the changes aren't hormonal they are very definitely chemical in some form. Maybe some kind of withdrawal/detoxification and withdrawal from most things involves depression. And then to be faced with having a chronic illness and the physical/social/emotional aspects is enough to make anyone depressed.

Heather- Whether you decide to seek out medication or not, just know that everything will pass. whenever I feel like i just go on, I remind myself that i didn't feel like that 1 day, 1 week, 1 month or 1 year ago and chances are tomorrow will be a better day. hugs, Beverly

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You're not the only one who feels this way, and don't feel bad about it. There's nothing worse than feeling crappy because you feel crappy. My advice: MOURN YOUR LOSS. To quote the wonderful Jax Peters Lowell:

"Something very important is missing from your life, an entire food group. It deserves its own mourning period. This is the first step in healing-being aware of and acknowledging how much it hurts...with so much real suffering in the world, it is tempting to trivialize a food intolerance, but if you do, you are trivializing yourself and your own loss. You are overlooking the basic first step in getting healthy-acknowledging the importance of what has happened to you. And talking about it. Tell your story...over and over again, until you no longer need to tell it. Unfortunately, this may take longer than the time usually allotted to you by others, even friends and familiy. Never mind. Find somebody who hasn't heard it yet."

-The Gluten-free Bible

I've read some responses here that tell you to look on the bright side, look at how much worse it could get. Nonsense. No one knows how you feel but you, no one suffers exactly what you suffer. Sure there are worse diseases out there, there are also some that aren't nearly as serious. Some of them are easily cured, some of them you take a pill, some of them you change your diet, some of them you die from. You can't compare apples and oranges just to make yourself feel better. Recognize what YOU suffer, and find a way to deal. I keep a journal. I tell everyone (what better way to spread awareness anyway?). I lean on my boyfriend. If you don't have someone like that to lean on, maybe it is time to find a Psychologist. Maybe there is a chemical imbalance, maybe not. Always felt depressed? If not, you just need someone to talk to, medication is probably not for you. My sister and I were both on and off antidepressants of all sorts, then after we were both diagnosed with celiac disease, we haven't needed them. BUT we all need someone to talk to. Do what you have to do, but no matter what, mourn your loss.

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Guest BERNESES
You're not the only one who feels this way, and don't feel bad about it. There's nothing worse than feeling crappy because you feel crappy. My advice: MOURN YOUR LOSS. Do what you have to do, but no matter what, mourn your loss.

I totally agree. Your loss may seem insignificant compared to what others face, but it's still yours and it's still a loss. Loved the quote. Beverly

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heather! i feel that way alot.. i have been gluten-free a little over a year and about every 3 months i have a big breakdown. i know i drive my fiance crazy and he tries to understand , but no one can really understand unless they feel the same way.

i am also vegan which makes the diet even harder.

i break down and cry probably about once a month.

and sometimes more when we go over to a friends house and i have to bring my own food.

or we go out to eat and i have to have salad once again.

with no dressing no cheese no meat no croutons.

and im constantly saying "no thank you"

and peoples stupid comments about "cant you just take something for it"

and i dont thing im being selfish to think that people need to be a little more sympathetic.

ughhh.. im getting frusturated just typing this.

not to mention ive gained 38 lbs in one year from this and i cant even eat anything,.

i dont understand it at all.

blahh.

hopefully we'll both feel better soon. :)


coleen

diagnosed 1/2005

gluten free since 1/2005

XVEGANX

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Hi

I am totally with all of you in this. I am having a hard time myself. My mother was diagnosed with cancer about 1 month before I was diagnosed with sprue where I was so sick I almost died. It has been really hard because I have been slow to recover from the sprue and being a caretaker for my mother has been hard as well.

I dont think I have allowed myself to cry yet becuase it is soo painful but the depression feels real. And so does the anger. It can be a bit much.

I especially feel like I DO have to mourn the loss of an entire food group but it is hard to do that solely in the confines in my own home.

I see a therapist but really this diet is all my own. I own this diet and that is the thing that I am having a hard time with. No one can make me follow this diet except me. Self-responsibility is a very adult thing to face and do.

Any moral support is much appreciated.


Diagnosed 11-11-05 after 3 months of major symptoms, including 2 hospitalizations and 7 ER visits for dehydration and syncope. Otherwise, I had all "normal" blood tests and major scans. During those 3 months, lost 20 pounds, all my muscle tone, and ultimately could not walk for 2 days. Spent 6 days during the second hospitalization hooked up to IV and STILL passing out IN BED due to malnutrition with doctors staring at me AS IF it was all IN MY HEAD

Other related symptoms:

Osteopenia

Hypothyroidism

Gluten Ataxia - three "nodes" recently found in my brain (thought I had MS)

Muscle weakness

Fatigue

Chronic Constipation

45 pound weight gain since going gluten-free!

gluten-free since 11-11-05. Cannot eat bananas, potatoes, or spinach. Recently reintroduced yogurt into my diet and able to tolerate plain yogurt with sugar.

HATE the diet but psychologically tolerating it for my health.

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Guest Robbin

I've been having episodes of anger/depression this past week and just reading that others feel this too somehow helps one feel not so alone. I feel like there's been this monster destroying my health/life for at least 30 years and I just found it, but it still controls me. How weird is that?! I've been feeling like I'm under control of a very harsh task-master and I just want to be free of it. I take two steps forward and then one step back constantly. Is this the way it will always be? Maybe I'm pms or something right now. It's only been 2 months gluten-free for me! I guess I'm still in "detox". Don't worry 'silly-yak', we are all here to hold each other up in the face of this. This forum is one of the only bright spots to this nightmare. Bless you all,

Robbin

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Hi

I am totally with all of you in this. I am having a hard time myself. My mother was diagnosed with cancer about 1 month before I was diagnosed with sprue where I was so sick I almost died. It has been really hard because I have been slow to recover from the sprue and being a caretaker for my mother has been hard as well.

I dont think I have allowed myself to cry yet becuase it is soo painful but the depression feels real. And so does the anger. It can be a bit much.

I especially feel like I DO have to mourn the loss of an entire food group but it is hard to do that solely in the confines in my own home.

I see a therapist but really this diet is all my own. I own this diet and that is the thing that I am having a hard time with. No one can make me follow this diet except me. Self-responsibility is a very adult thing to face and do.

Any moral support is much appreciated.

Oh man do I ever know where your coming from. My dad fought a losing battle with cancer for a year and passed away this past Sept. I nursed him and was so sick myself. I got my dx just this past January, then my mom had a heart attack and has been in and out of the hospital for the past couple of weeks. I think the only thing that keeps me sane is allowing myself to cry. I feel like when I don't let myself cry, I keep it all bottled up and I feel like I'm just floating through my life, rather then being an active part.

My advice is to allow yourself to feel however you feel. If you need a good cry, then CRY! if you are mad, then let yourself be mad and kick some pillows around or what ever......I hope this will help you!

It's going to be okay! Your not alone! You can PM me if you need to!

Lollie


tests inconclusive, diet conclusive January 2006

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