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Rachel--24

Omg...i Might Be On To Something

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Finally caught up. I bookmarked the pages you linked Rachel. I haven't had a chance to watch the trailer yet. My computer was being schizoid earlier and I don't know if Mitch rebooted. I'll try and look at it tomorrow.

I'm soaking everything in, kinda. I've just been skimming stuff, but since it's bookmarked I at least have it if I need it. I figure I've been put on this thread for more than just making some good friends. I will be keeping my eyes and ears (as bad as they are :( ) open to other people and situations they may be going through.

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I couldnt watch the trailer so instead I checked out everything else on the site...now I'm scared. :ph34r:

I'm going to bed and I'm gonna pull the covers over my head and hopefully not have nightmares. :(

There is alot of info. on the site and there are "The Faces of Lyme"...you can run your cursor over the faces of all these people and read something about them.

I'm overwhelmed and scared cuz I saw all these faces. Maybe the documentary will be too scary for me to watch. :unsure:

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She said the wound would give him courage and pain

The kind of pain that you can't hide

From the wound a lovely flower grew

From somewhere deep inside.

Sting

That is beautiful Beverly and yes it is just the way I feel. :)

oh my gawd, I just watched the trailer for that film. I am in shock....kind of speechless. You all had better watch it......

What I don't understand is, is Lyme the CAUSE of conditions like MS, ALS, and other neuro conditions....or do those conditions not even exist, and they are just cases of advanced Lyme?

The whole thing is unbelievably scary and unbelievably frustrating......

Word needs to get out. I'm going to forward that film link to everyone I know......

:huh:

What resonated for me with that clip is the way in which people are stunned that they are not believed, you can see it worn into their faces.

I've heard recently that about half of MS patients respond positively to antibiotic treatment which would lead us to think that about half could be Lyme but the problem is that MS patients are treated with steroids and steroids drive the Lyme deeper and make it harder to clear from the body.

According to Royal Raymond Rife bacteria are at the root of diseases and there are specific frequencies which can kill that bacteria. He discovered the bacteria through the microscopes that he designed and built and for that work he was recognized as a genius. It was when he created the Rife machine that actually cured people of cancer that he got into trouble, even back then cancer was big business and curing it wasn't profitable. Call me cynical but remember that in 1957 they knew all MS patients had spirochetes, and hello that is LYME. :rolleyes:

I wonder about the bacteria and my clan theory, I wonder if groups of us are simply vulnerable to different bacterial strains, like I said the Cancer Clan and the Lyme Clan and what other clans might there be? Or perhaps we all have all the bacteria and they just fight it out inside us to see what one will take us down. Again, I think how efficiently they destroy our health depends greatly on the choices we make.

What I find bizarre about some of the Lyme boards is the knowledge of betrayal and yet the dependency on antibiotics, it is a pecular relationship in my opinion. I think, and we've established that I'm cynical, that if you cannot trust them to diagnose you, (many of these folks have been tested through IgeneX) then why would you trust the medication you are forcing them to give you. Who makes the tests? Who makes the medication? Who profits? B)

Finally caught up. I bookmarked the pages you linked Rachel. I haven't had a chance to watch the trailer yet. My computer was being schizoid earlier and I don't know if Mitch rebooted. I'll try and look at it tomorrow.

I'm soaking everything in, kinda. I've just been skimming stuff, but since it's bookmarked I at least have it if I need it. I figure I've been put on this thread for more than just making some good friends. I will be keeping my eyes and ears (as bad as they are :( ) open to other people and situations they may be going through.

What's up Andrea, are you okay?

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Welcome Hawkfire, and the advice you got about either Rachelville thread is NEVER go back. We will have to send out the dingos to find you.

Hello all. I have been lurking and struggling to keep up to all the new scientificness.

I am beginning to see that there is more to any of this than I relalized back when I got my celiac dx.

I hope we all find the answers we seek.

Hi Ryan, good to see you! You have been a stranger lately, hope things are going well for you :)

I am also struggling to keep up too with all the new scientificness, it's all very overwhelming and for me, a little alarming and scary....

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Hi Ryan, good to see you again!

Morning everyone!

Thanks the the links...I've bookmarked them, but may have to wait until Monday when I have a faster connection to the internet, lol.

Nothing new from me. Had another PT/chiro session yesterday and my neck actually had a little better range of motion afterwards...course it's all gone now, lol. Doc wants me to put heat on the muscles on that side of my neck for 10-15 minutes and THEN do my stretches/exercises, so we'll see how that works. I'm going to choose to be optimistic about this, lol. :P

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I'm overwhelmed and scared cuz I saw all these faces. Maybe the documentary will be too scary for me to watch. :unsure:

Rachel - I don't think so - I think it will be empowering, affirming - - - and also make you more than a little furious. I keep thinking about people I know/knew w/ MS or fibro, and in fact I just keep thinking about the whole insidious nature of this disease....I think you'll be very happy about the documentary - unfortunately I don't think many people will see it as it's a documentary and not a feature film. Who sees documentaries anyway, and how the heck do you even FIND them? :huh:

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I couldn't watch it. :( My computer said I don't have the right Quicktime software and that it's not available from the website??!! I have a relatively new laptop, so I don't see how that's possible ....

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The more I reflect on that video the more disturbed I am by it and the more I feel the grief and rage of those who are suffering the colder my disdain grows for a system that would allow this. I went looking for some propaganda about Lyme and found much to read at this site:

Quackwatch

In an Internet newsgroup post, a woman described being on intravenous Rocephin for 4 weeks, developing gallstones, and switching to another antibiotic regimen for three weeks. She also mentioned a sudden high fever, anemia, low white cell count, systemic pain, heart rhythm disturbance, and neurologic symptoms. Such descriptions are common among devout Lyme patients and provide an unsettling view into the desperate and dangerous measures some people will take to treat suspected Lyme disease. The woman ended her account by writing she had switched her medication to ciprofloxacin. This drug is potent but should not be used unnecessarily. Its adverse reactions include acute psychosis and other neuropsychiatric reactions [25].

I "bolded" the devout Lyme patients reference because I think it catches the subtle flavour of all that is written on those pages, ladies and gentlemen, are you feeling devout? :lol::angry::lol:

And if you read this statement the way I do it is beyond hilarious, read it like they are telling you the truth about themselves:

Indeed, the Internet has provided a powerful mechanism for organizing patients and presenting poorly documented information to the public and the press.

:huh:<_<:lol:

And if anyone thinks there will be changes made:

The risks and costs associated with such treatments were analyzed in a 1993 report whose authors concluded that most patients with a positive Lyme antibody titer whose only symptoms are fatigue or nonspecific muscle pains, the risks and costs of intravenous antibiotic therapy exceed the benefits [24].

They decided on the basis of antibiotics being their only solution that anyone with Lyme whose only symptoms were "fatigue or nonspecific muscle pains" would not be treated.

According to Klinghardt Lyme bacteria bind with mercury and pesticides and when they die off these toxins are released into your blood and you can become ill just from that if you are not doing a proper detoxification diet, this makes sense to me. It also makes sense to me that those who take antibiotics are made more ill in the process because they are not encouraged to look at diet as part of the healing modality.

I think Lyme will change many people's lives because people will begin to understand that those who get well are those who take charge of their own healing and are people who are willing to embrace a new way of living in order to achieve wellness once again.

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Very interesting information, Rhonda.

I was sitting at Starbucks this morning (had a venti soy chai and feel FINE, so apparently soy is a non-issue for me). There was a mini-marathon in our town this morning and there was a couple sitting at the next table over who had run in it. I asked them about it (I talk to everyone, I figure if they're in a coffee shop, they're not there to be drinking coffee alone). He happened to be an infectious disease doctor for the Air Force. I chuckled and said I needed one of those, but didn't go into a lot, the conversation was all over the place. Anyway, he mentioned Whipple's Disease. If gluten-free hadn't made my digestive issues resolve, I would think he was right. He wasn't trying to diagnose, just to give something else that has celiac symptoms that's not celiac. He is of the school that Lyme is over-diagnosed ... I could JUST TELL even though he didn't say it. But it was still interesting that the disease he brought up is also bacterial and is typically treated with long-term antibiotics.

He wasn't aware that you needed to be eating gluten for the current blood tests for celiac ... I told him I tested negative, but had not eaten wheat for three years prior to being tested. I never claimed to have celiac, just that I was intolerant to gluten because it makes me sick.

I don't really have a point ... it's just more scientificness that might not be related to anyone here!!! :lol::lol::lol: I think I'd really like working at Starbucks .... I don't know many people here yet, it'd be a great way to meet them!!

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Hi Ryan, good to see you! You have been a stranger lately, hope things are going well for you :)

I am also struggling to keep up too with all the new scientificness, it's all very overwhelming and for me, a little alarming and scary....

Julie-

Are you feeling any better?

Yes it is scary- and alot of info-

I think most of us at this point know more than most doctors

Hi Ryan, good to see you again!

Morning everyone!

Thanks the the links...I've bookmarked them, but may have to wait until Monday when I have a faster connection to the internet, lol.

Nothing new from me. Had another PT/chiro session yesterday and my neck actually had a little better range of motion afterwards...course it's all gone now, lol. Doc wants me to put heat on the muscles on that side of my neck for 10-15 minutes and THEN do my stretches/exercises, so we'll see how that works. I'm going to choose to be optimistic about this, lol. :P

you should be optimistic- whether or not you feel the effects today you felt some yesturday - so thats a great sign. You just have to hope that with each session the relief lasts for longer periods of time.

I think it sounds like good news donna

Miamia

Finally caught up. I bookmarked the pages you linked Rachel. I haven't had a chance to watch the trailer yet. My computer was being schizoid earlier and I don't know if Mitch rebooted. I'll try and look at it tomorrow.

I'm soaking everything in, kinda. I've just been skimming stuff, but since it's bookmarked I at least have it if I need it. I figure I've been put on this thread for more than just making some good friends. I will be keeping my eyes and ears (as bad as they are :( ) open to other people and situations they may be going through.

Hi Andrea-

How is your father doing? How are you doing? You've already done so much more than meet friends here- you are so helpful in sharing info you find out, posting recipes, and god I think you are like everyones mother figure here!!!

Miamia

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I think you are like everyones mother figure here!!!

Miamia

Yeah!!! And you are probably younger than I am, and I even have six kids so it's not like I'm not a mom, too! LOL

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I couldn't watch it. :( My computer said I don't have the right Quicktime software and that it's not available from the website??!! I have a relatively new laptop, so I don't see how that's possible ....

Carla - - that is because

COMPUTERS ARE EVIL!!! :lol::lol::lol:

and I have heard of Whipple's, so no, your scientificness was not useless, there is always something in here for everyone and even though I dingo SO much information, there is always a nugget that stays with me and I find I am so fascinated w/ people's health issues now, always listening and usually able to impart some elemement of something that will at least get them thinking about things....

I think most of us at this point know more than most doctors

Hah! ain't that the truth! sometimes I wonder if they do any research beyond medical school..... :angry:

BTW there was a little boy on that Lyme film page, the page where you place your cursor over the faces, and he articulated his mental state better than I could.....said something like, "my brain won't work, it's like there's a tunnel, I go to get the information and there's a boulder blocking the tunnel......" oh my gawd, he has described most of my life...... :o:huh::(

Well dear friends it is Saturday, and the heinous thing about my new job is that I work every stinkin' Saturday (as if I have anything better to do)......so I will see y'all later! ;)

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What's up Andrea, are you okay?

I'm fine. :) My reference to my ears is that my hearing is poor, on top of eczema in the outer canals.

Hi Andrea-

How is your father doing? How are you doing? You've already done so much more than meet friends here- you are so helpful in sharing info you find out, posting recipes, and god I think you are like everyones mother figure here!!!

Miamia

Haven't talked to my father yet. I plan on calling him this weekend sometime.

Yeah!!! And you are probably younger than I am, and I even have six kids so it's not like I'm not a mom, too! LOL

I'm 40 Carla. I just like looking out for people. If only my daughter appreciated it. :P

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I'm 40 Carla. I just like looking out for people. If only my daughter appreciated it. :P

I'm 43 ... I was just judging by the fact that your youngest is younger than my youngest ... of course, if it weren't for my health problems, that wouldn't be the case!!! :D

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Still getting errors trying to watch the documentary. :(

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What resonated for me with that clip is the way in which people are stunned that they are not believed, you can see it worn into their faces.

Yeah....I'm sure that is the same look that I wore on my face for the first 3 years. A look of total astonishment...disbelief and despair. Eventually it all turned to fear...a fear like I've never felt before...a realization that the doctors were NOT gonna figure this thing out for me.

Rachel - I don't think so - I think it will be empowering, affirming - - - and also make you more than a little furious. I keep thinking about people I know/knew w/ MS or fibro, and in fact I just keep thinking about the whole insidious nature of this disease....I think you'll be very happy about the documentary - unfortunately I don't think many people will see it as it's a documentary and not a feature film. Who sees documentaries anyway, and how the heck do you even FIND them? :huh:

I was wondering the same thing...will I find this film at blockbuster??? How will I ever see it??

I did get scared by the stuff on the film site...I had nightmares. :(

Its really strange because when I first suffered all the stress from my relationship and eventually the loss of the relationship....it was all occurring at the time that this disease was manifesting itself. I remember that for the first two years I had nightmares every single night. The nightmares were always based on the same thing...involving my ex. I woke up with knots in my stomach every morning. This was during the worst time...when I was unable to function, not working, having nightsweats, blurred vision, bruises all over my body, and every other symptom.

Once I changed my diet to organic whole foods...the nightmares stopped...completely. The brainfog lifted and the depression cleared...it all happened within a few days.

So now....all this time later...whenever my body is under some kind of stress...the nightmare comes back. :unsure:

Last night I was distressed by what I was learning about Lyme and so I had a nightmare about my ex...woke up with knots in my stomach. :huh:

Its like I go back in time...and I'm re-living the feelings I had back when I was first really really sick. Back when this thing was taking over my body.

Why does this happen?? It doesnt matter whats going on in my life now...when I get distressed my dreams go back in time. I'm ALWAYS sick in my dreams. Before I didnt know why I was sick but now I'm aware of having Lyme Disease but everything else about my dreams is the same as it was 3 years ago. Is this weird??

I couldn't watch it. :( My computer said I don't have the right Quicktime software and that it's not available from the website??!! I have a relatively new laptop, so I don't see how that's possible ....

Thats exactly the message I'm getting. :angry:

I think Lyme will change many people's lives because people will begin to understand that those who get well are those who take charge of their own healing and are people who are willing to embrace a new way of living in order to achieve wellness once again.

Yup...I totally agree.

There is a guy who works for my company....he is/was a district manager. I never knew him because he didnt work in my district. He has Lyme Disease. I've heard about him here and there over the past 4 or 5 years. Last I heard he is now unable to work....he suffers from neurological problems from the Lyme. I think I remember hearing about him having vertigo, fainting, stuff like this. Now I am curious about how his Lyme has been treated? Does he take antibiotics? What type of Dr. does he see....clearly he hasnt gotten better??

I just dont see myself ending up in the same place...I dont feel like I'll succumb to the Lyme but rather the Lyme will succumb to me. Is this wishful thinking?? :unsure:

Anyway, he mentioned Whipple's Disease. If gluten-free hadn't made my digestive issues resolve, I would think he was right. He wasn't trying to diagnose, just to give something else that has celiac symptoms that's not celiac. He is of the school that Lyme is over-diagnosed ... I could JUST TELL even though he didn't say it.

Yeah my Dr. had an obvious dislike for infectious disease specialists...he felt they are always dismissing Lyme. My one experience was horrible so I see or hear "infectious disease specialist" and I cringe inside. <_<

Good scientificness about Whipple's Disease....I've heard of it but was getting it confused with Wilson's Disease. :rolleyes:

I had to google it...found some stuff. Interestingly it can be diagnosed with Endoscopy and Biopsy...same as Celiac. It also says it causes malabsorption and damage to the villi....although it does not say blunting.

http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/p...ipple/index.htm

It appears to be a disease of the small intestine...like Celiac.

I did have an Endo and biopsy which came back (in the words of the GI) "text-book perfect".

Well dear friends it is Saturday, and the heinous thing about my new job is that I work every stinkin' Saturday (as if I have anything better to do)......so I will see y'all later! ;)

Oh my....working on Saturday??? Heinosity!! <-----LOVE THAT WORD :P

Have FUN!! :D

If only my daughter appreciated it. :P

Andrea....someday she will. ;)

I'm 43 ... I was just judging by the fact that your youngest is younger than my youngest ... of course, if it weren't for my health problems, that wouldn't be the case!!! :D

Do you mean there would be 7 or 8??? :o

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Do you mean there would be 7 or 8??? :o

:D Probably! You'd have to spend some time in our house to "get it" :D Even my dad "gets it" now! After all, I "only" have five at home now. :(

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According to Klinghardt Lyme bacteria bind with mercury and pesticides and when they die off these toxins are released into your blood and you can become ill just from that if you are not doing a proper detoxification diet, this makes sense to me.

Yes...I've heard the Lyme binds with mercury as well. Maybe this is why the Lyme took off once I got exposed to mercury.

Could this be why I felt like the walking dead when I started taking Metronidazole (generic Flagyl)?? I had to call in sick and I could barely walk.....I was totally dizzy and my heart was racing and all kinds of yuckiness going on when I took that antibiotic. :unsure:

:D Probably! You'd have to spend some time in our house to "get it" :D Even my dad "gets it" now! After all, I "only" have five at home now. :(

:lol::lol:

My mom has me *back* at home.....its only part-time but still enough to stress her the heck out. :lol:

I dont know how you do it....my mom's not even sick and she cant even handle me. :unsure:

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Anyway, he mentioned Whipple's Disease.

Yep, I've heard of that too. It was one of the things hubby was tested for when he was ill (dear lord, he was tested for nearly every disease known to man before celiac disease. They was even considering testing him for Lyme back then)

He wasn't aware that you needed to be eating gluten for the current blood tests for celiac ...

..Glad you're spreading the word!! :lol:

My reference to my ears is that my hearing is poor, on top of eczema in the outer canal

Ouch!! I get eczema in and around my ears too (and just about everywhere else at the moment <_< )

I'm being really good with my diet too (I'm gluten-free anyway) but I'm trying to cut out dairy too (which I know makes it worse)

I have a theory that now it's turned cold the central heating is making it flare up :blink:

..And of course Andrea stress is a big enemy of eczema.

Still getting errors trying to watch the documentary. :(

I can't see it either - and I have quicktime... :blink:

Computer says 'plug in did not initialize' (whatever that means :blink: )

I fear Susan is right in that computers are evil!! :lol:

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My mom has me *back* at home.....its only part-time but still enough to stress her the heck out. :lol:

I dont know how you do it....my mom's not even sick and she cant even handle me. :unsure:

Well, it's all about helping them become the best person they can be ... I don't "micro-manage" and it saves me a lot of energy. I tell them what their chores are, I check to be sure they were done, but I don't tell them how to do it or nag them -- I just give them a time-frame -- if it's not done, they can eat when it is :) I make them be respectful of me and each other, yet I give them space to be who they are.

Here's an example, my 11 year old daughter wanted to be in the school choir -- she got the paperwork, filled it out, had me sign it, told me when it was, etc. She had to take the initiative to be able to do the activity. We enforce good grades and good behavior ... but they have to take the intiative to do activities, and they do. You'd be surprised what kids are capable of! Right now, since I'm sick, my kids do all the laundry and all the house cleaning!! They do fine, they just need some direction.

Also, I consider "being grounded" to be the perfect time for a kid to do all those things around the house that need to be done ... why should he/she get to sit and relax all day just because he/she is in trouble? I have one today scrubbing the bathroom and cleaning bird cages. :P

Basically, I direct them, but stay out of their way so they can become the person they are meant to be. I don't try to make them another me, though I do pass on my beliefs and faith. Life in a big family is considerably different than in a small family. The new Cheaper by the Dozen was a poor representation of life in a big family. I mean, why would they need a nanny when there were so many teenagers laying around hypernating in their room? Totally not reality!

It's really not as hard as it would seem. Some kids (like you) just can't be handled!!! ;)

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Andrea and Nikki,

Just a quick thought on the eczema. I had it on my eyelid--for about 15 years! Nothing, including Rx steroid cream, hydrocortisone creams, moisturizers, or antihistimines would make it stay away. Sometimes, it would go away for a short time, but it always came back. It was horribly itchy and very unsightly. :angry:

This past spring, it went away--and has not reoccured since! At that time, I made several changes--so I'm not sure what actually did it. :blink:

I had gone to an allergist, and was found to be highly allergic to dust mites. So much so that he suggested encasing my mattress and pillow in a special cover. I did this immediately.

I also began my elimination diet--per him--and cut out legumes completely at that time.

I also began using SLS-free products (shampoo and soap)

Since these changes, the eczema has stayed gone--and I wasn't really looking to get rid of it per se--I was trying to figure out my food intolerance/intestinal issues. This was pretty much a nice side effect of that :D

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I did get scared by the stuff on the film site...I had nightmares. :(

Its really strange because when I first suffered all the stress from my relationship and eventually the loss of the relationship....it was all occurring at the time that this disease was manifesting itself. I remember that for the first two years I had nightmares every single night. The nightmares were always based on the same thing...involving my ex. I woke up with knots in my stomach every morning. This was during the worst time...when I was unable to function, not working, having nightsweats, blurred vision, bruises all over my body, and every other symptom.

....

So now....all this time later...whenever my body is under some kind of stress...the nightmare comes back. :unsure:

Last night I was distressed by what I was learning about Lyme and so I had a nightmare about my ex...woke up with knots in my stomach. :huh:

Its like I go back in time...and I'm re-living the feelings I had back when I was first really really sick. Back when this thing was taking over my body.

Why does this happen?? It doesnt matter whats going on in my life now...when I get distressed my dreams go back in time. I'm ALWAYS sick in my dreams. Before I didnt know why I was sick but now I'm aware of having Lyme Disease but everything else about my dreams is the same as it was 3 years ago. Is this weird??

I just dont see myself ending up in the same place...I dont feel like I'll succumb to the Lyme but rather the Lyme will succumb to me. Is this wishful thinking?? :unsure:

Rachel, I really think Lyme has a unique way of binding itself to us, negative energy patterns create stress and stress feeds the exhaustion of the adrenals which in turn reinforces our dependence on things which inflame us because they provide us with a sense of energy or life and that includes negative states of consciousness which then create stress......so NO I don't think it is weird at all and I am confident that the Lyme will succumb to you and me and all LLLLL's. :)

As I have studied the bodily memory of my illness I retrieved through the muscle testing I know I felt disorientated, like I'd lost the ground underneath me, I found myself saying that I wanted to leave and that was very odd for me to say, I had night sweats and nightmares, a general state of unease and underneath it all panic, I think now of that panic as the shimmer and if that thread I have spoken of before is fragile then I need to shore it up with bright and beautiful threads, letting joy support the fragility, oh and take Samento too. :lol:

Yes...I've heard the Lyme binds with mercury as well. Maybe this is why the Lyme took off once I got exposed to mercury.

Could this be why I felt like the walking dead when I started taking Metronidazole (generic Flagyl)?? I had to call in sick and I could barely walk.....I was totally dizzy and my heart was racing and all kinds of yuckiness going on when I took that antibiotic. :unsure:

:lol::lol:

Sounds to me like a major herx effect, which they would not have predicted if they weren't looking at Lyme, did you talk to your doctor about this, was this when they said antibiotics were a problem for you?

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It's really not as hard as it would seem. Some kids (like you) just can't be handled!!! ;)

:lol:

What you wrote makes good sense....

If you were trying to micro-manage you would probably get stressed out to the max....which is how my mom gets. I dont call it micro-managing though....I call it NAGGING. :P

Shes been doing it my whole life....says its part of being a mom. :rolleyes:

It wasnt too bad for the 10 years that I was on my own.....living my life. Now that I'm sick and need to be here all week...there is micro-managing going on. She worries and worrying=nagging.

When I was healthy I was on top of everything. I paid my biils as soon as I got them....if something needed to be done I did it. I was soooo responsible and organized with everything. Ever since I got sick everything changed....I procrastinate on everything. I will let my bills just sit because its too hard to *think* or to balance my checkbook. I am unorganized and scattered and simple tasks are daunting to me.

This is the stuff that worries my mom....because I dont take care of anything in timely fashion anymore. It seems like it would be easy....to just get out the bills and pay them. But its not easy anymore. I cant explain it but some things just arent so easy anymore. :(

We're working on things....trying to figure out how to make things easier....so that theres less stress and worry..

Oh...and less nagging too. :D

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Rachel, I've read that in healing reactions, you often retrace past patterns of health as your body moves back through the stages ... it can also happen to emotional patterns that were never fully resolved. Just welcome the feelings in the front door, then escort them out the back door. Don't hold onto them or try to box them up. I think it's completely normal. I had this happen several years ago with some feelings that I had been unable to cope with the first time around ... I was too weak to deal with them at the time and boxed them up. When I was emotionally stronger, they came back for me to deal with more completely.

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Rachel, I've read that in healing reactions, you often retrace past patterns of health as your body moves back through the stages ... it can also happen to emotional patterns that were never fully resolved. Just welcome the feelings in the front door, then escort them out the back door. Don't hold onto them or try to box them up. I think it's completely normal. I had this happen several years ago with some feelings that I had been unable to cope with the first time around ... I was too weak to deal with them at the time and boxed them up. When I was emotionally stronger, they came back for me to deal with more completely.

Yes, I think this is exactly right. We do go back through the symptoms we experienced as we were getting sick to the point where we're at now. This includes emotions.

I have noticed that as I'm healing (slo-o-o-wly), as I go through a relatively good stretch physically, I am hit with emotions that I thought I delt with before. I actually didn't deal with them, I just kind of ignored them and moved on.

I'm currently having some "mom" issues in my mind concerning my own mother. These are things that are not new.

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