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You're Know You're A Celiac If...


chgomom

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almostnrn Explorer
You can´t marry some one you can´t fart in front front of.

OH Debbie, that was sooo funny and soooo true!!!


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Sophiekins Rookie

- you can list at least ten different places where you've thrown up

- you can direct your friend, by cellphone, from Splash Mountain to the nearest unoccupied toilet, though you've not been to disneyland in five years

-you have ever seriously considered the question "is it worse to clean vomit or poo off the bathroom floor?"

- bowel movements have reduced you to tears - both happy and sad

- you have a favorite rest room at the mall

-you have ever been late for work because you had to use the toilet

- you have reluctantly decided against purchasing the only pair of jeans on the planet that actually fit you, because they have a hopelessly impractical button fly

- you have considered buying above pair of jeans, and paying someone to fit them with a proper fly

- your friends joke about your "rest room radar"

-your date-activity of choice is the coffee. . .because watching you comb the menu for an edible entree will send him screaming for the hills, drinks are almost as complicated as dinner, and the movie theatre is a semi-toxic environment with all of that popcorn dust

- you actually lose weight when you go home for the holidays

- you have at least one close friend whom you bonded with over colonoscopy reminiscences

-your contribution to the party buffet table comes in two dishes - the one for the buffet and the one you plan on eating, which is usually in your pocket or purse

- you read the ingredients on laundry soap, deoderant, makeup, shampoo and sunscreen. . .as well as on plant food, fertilizer, and pantyhose. . .and you automatically boycott all products that don't include complete ingerdients on their packaging

- you know what Stablizer E471 is. . .along with a thousand other chemical additives

- you have concrete, personal, medical reasons for being anti-GMO

- you have started to worry that the produce containers at your grocery store are biodegradeable. . .and therefore no longer gluten-free

- you have ever considered learning a new language so you could eat on vacation

- your coworkers think you are insane because you have asked them to lick your stamps

Enough for now?

jaten Enthusiast
- you actually lose weight when you go home for the holidays

YES!!!! Because you're scared to eat anything other than fresh fruit and lettuce....how true!

ajay Newbie

...you won't eat the gluten-free bread in your gluten-free airline meal because there's no ingredient list on it.

...you've mastered the art of saying "oh, that's so sweet, but no thank you."

...under normal circumstances, the words "free samples" mean nothing to you.

...you pack a bag of food for a trip to the mall.

...one file drawer at work is just for food.

...you over-tip restaurant servers who "get it."

...you hate the phrase "modified food starch"

...there's a bowl of leftover halloween candy at work, and you don't even bother to dig through it.

...you eat dinner before you go to a dinner party.

...you've ever been so excited to find a gluten-free version of something you haven't had in years that you buy it and take it home... and only when you put it in the pantry do you realize you never actually liked the original stuff in the first place!

  • 2 weeks later...
saaa-wheat<3 Apprentice

...you add a post just to keep this thread bookmarked

...that you keep a thread like this bookmarked because when you return, you know it will make you smile or laugh!

Coda-Queen Newbie

"...your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play

Doh."

:P

The irony is that Play Doh has wheat in it.

dragonmom Apprentice

....show up at a buffet with your own food. :)


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jen3899 Apprentice

...You have a panic attack at the store because you walked down the flour aisle only to find a bag has broken open...OH NO!

...Now you hold your breath on that aisle and the bread aisle...just in case...

...Your dog has learned that "give momma kisses" means to lick the air near your face

Anyone know of some gluten-free dog food? I currently use Diamond Brand Lamb Meal and Rice, which used to be gluten-free...then all of the sudden stopped with no known reason!!! My dog still likes it just the same...but I DONT!

Oh and when your dog used to be gluten-free...

...You get mad when someone gives the gluten-free pets a NON gluten-free treat!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

you know when you travel many miles to go visit a Whole Foods, Trader Joes, or other store because you heard of the baked items they carry :)

you get excited when you find a store-bought cookie which is not only soft but doesn't taste like card board.

you shop at Wegmans and can proudly show your friends the little yellow circle with the "G" on the store products which are gluten free. You have to reassure that you can eat the jelly you bought or that really good raspberry salad dressing since it is usually 100 questions.

you are used to the looks you get at work when you make wraps and people question the tortilia....

dragonmom Apprentice

look forward to passover because they make great gluten-free desserts.....

LYNN21 Newbie
hahahah... :lol:

my daughter has been a celiac for two weeks so i can relate

I can't think of anything... I've only been a certified Celiac for three days now. :(

Rebecca47 Contributor

:D When you go into a walmart store and find pure maple syrup or anything gluten free and the price went down three or so dollars, compared to trader joes or whole foods ( whole paycheck)Now even safway is carring organic and more gluten free items. i only been a diagnosed celiac for 3 months. There is light at the end on the tunnel ha ha ;):rolleyes: i am still trying to find my way around this board, but its great.

Rebecca

super-sally888 Contributor

Hahaha!!!

This thread is funny enough that I read every post - though it's so long.

- When your nickname is "La Cubeta" "The Toilet"

- Whenever you exit a room quickly your friends smirk and say, don't worry she's just going to the rest room.

- When you actually go to use public toilets in your office building rather than using the toilets in you office room (to avoid the smell and anyone hearing you throwing up).

- When you know where every toilet is along your bike and running routes (and when you go faster than usual, your friends just know it's cause you have to find that next toilet urgently)...

- When you ultimate pleasure is reaching the toilet just in the nick of time...

- When toilet humor is your forte!!!

- When you scratch more than a squirrel after eating anything containing gluten..

S

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    • K6315
      Hi Lily Ivy. Thanks for responding. Did you have withdrawal? If so, what was it like and for how long?
    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, @Doris Barnes! You do realize don't you that the "gluten free" label does not mean the same thing as "free of gluten"? According to FDA regulations, using the "gluten free" label simply means the product does not contain gluten in excess of 20 ppm. "Certified Gluten Free" is labeling deployed by an independent testing group known as GFCO which means the product does not contain gluten in excess of 10 ppm. Either concentration of gluten can still cause a reaction in folks who fall into the more sensitive spectrum of the celiac community. 20 ppm is safe for most celiacs. Without knowing how sensitive you are to small amounts of gluten, I cannot speak to whether or not the Hu Kitechen chocolates are safe for you. But it sounds like they have taken sufficient precautions at their factory to ensure that this product will be safe for the large majority of celiacs.
    • Doris Barnes
      Buying choclate, I recently boght a bar from Hu Kitchen (on your list of recommended candy. It says it is free of gluten. However on the same package in small print it says "please be aware that the product is produced using equipment that also processes nuts, soy, milk and wheat. Allergen cleans are made prior to production". So my question is can I trust that there is no cross contamination.  If the allergy clean is not done carefully it could cause gluten exposure. Does anyone know of a choclate brand that is made at a facility that does not also use wheat, a gluten free facility. Thank you.
    • trents
      @Manaan2, have you considered the possibility that she might be cross reacting to some food or foods that technically don't contain gluten but whose proteins closely resemble gluten. Chief candidates might be dairy (casein), oats (avenin), soy, corn and eggs. One small study showed that 50% of celiacs react to CMP (Cow's Milk Protein) like they do gluten.
    • Manaan2
      I realize I'm super late in the game regarding this topic but in case anyone is still reading/commenting on this one-does anyone who is especially sensitive have their personal observations to share regarding Primal Kitchen brand?  My daughter was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with celiac and within 6 months, her follow up labs were normal and a year later vitamin levels significantly improving, but we are still battling GI symptoms; particularly, constipation, so much that she has been on MiraLax every day since she was 3.  We've managed to get her down to a half cap every other day but without that, she continues to have issues (when she has a known, accidental ingestion unfortunately it takes a lot more MiraLax and additional laxatives to help her).  I was searching for something else and found this and am wondering if anyone has any specific comments regarding Primal Kitchen.  I feel like we are so incredibly careful with diet, logging diet and symptoms to look for patterns (we've had multiple dieticians help with this piece as well), not eating out, contacting companies and of course, there is always room for improvement but I'm running out of ideas regarding where her issues could be coming from.  Even if the Primal Kitchen is contributing, I'm sure it's not the only thing contributing but I can't help but think there must be handful of things that are working together and against her.  The ingredients list distilled white vinegar, but also white wine vinegar and balsamic, then "spices" which I'm always cautious about.  However, after contacting the company, I felt more comfortable allowing her to consume their products but over time I've realized that the front-line customer service support people don't always provide the most accurate of information.  Thanks for reading to anyone that does.   
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