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Turtle

I Want To Scream And Have A Meltdown!

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I must be wrong in this discusion because I see so many people saying the opposite of what I believe. I will have to think about it from that pov but it doesn't seem right to be mad at this situation or the bride since there is a histroy of friendship along with the fact that it is the brides day. The grocer yesterday gave me an eye rolling because I said no to the cookies they had and said I am gluten intolerant. I don't care. I could stay mad. I still say, let go or be dragged. It's healthier to let go.

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I must be wrong in this discusion because I see so many people saying the opposite of what I believe. I will have to think about it from that pov but it doesn't seem right to be mad at this situation or the bride since there is a histroy of friendship along with the fact that it is the brides day. The grocer yesterday gave me an eye rolling because I said no to the cookies they had and said I am gluten intolerant. I don't care. I could stay mad. I still say, let go or be dragged. It's healthier to let go.

I don't think you are wrong in your thinking...no one should carry on a grudge or haul a bunch of anger around with you however there is what I like to call self-preservation. I wouldn't get short or angry at a diabetic because they wouldn't eat my wedding cake! None of us should be treated poorly because we have strict diet limitations either.

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Thank you everyone for all the replies. When situations of this nature arise I always try to think about the big picture and take in all points of view. I admit I am frustrated that this wedding is going to cost me a lot more than I anticiapted but I will deal with that. It's just money....and there are more important things in life than money.

HOWEVER, the line was crossed when I was treated like a leper & as a "problem" b/c I have Celiac Disease. It was just VERY hurtful and shocking to me to be treated in such a manner....but i'm a big girl and I will handle this with respect and dignity and carry on.

I did make some comments to a few of you and what you had to say...thanks again and I appreciate the feedback in how to continue handling this as the bigger person...

AndreaB

NO, I’m not offended by your post. Thanks for your thoughts!

Ekatherine

Thanks for making me laugh!! And YES I agree with your other two cents as well. Just now sure how that will play out…my parents feel an obligation, I feel an obligation so it makes things sticky.

Snapple

YES! I did actually suggest this. But it did not go over well, so I didn’t push it.

Powederprincess and Ursula

HAHAHAHA!! Isn’t that the truth. Frankly I think it would serve her right…then maybe if she actually saw me sick she’d understand once and for all….*sigh*

Shaila

Thank you for simple, kind and encouraging words!!!

Dafadilly

You’re a trip!!! Thanks for the laugh!

Rusla

AMEN Sista!!!! I’m too freakin’ nice, that’s my problem…..

Pixiegirl

YES, you are right…we (our families that is) joke about her high maintenance personality and accepted that about her a long time ago. I could care less about the money, it’s just money. YES< it is a burden and it’s stressful but WHATEVER, in an effort to make her happy I’ll figure out how to pay for it somehow, someway. I’m just frustrated b/c in the beginning we were told it would be affordable (as in under $200) and now it’s over $200 & that’s JUST for the dress. (BTW, I’m not the only bridesmaid upset about this but that’s what the bride decided and wanted and now EVERYONE feels stuck). I always try to big the bigger person and rise above which is why things are the way they are. Unfortunately saying “no” would have been just as big of an issue. This is one of those situations where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

And I did throw out the idea of talking with the caterer b/c like you I’m thinking “this is not a big deal, I’ll eat a potato or bring my own food”. Unfortunately, the bride did not take it that way.

Blueyedmanda

Well said. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Queen Serenity

To clarify: I do not consider her a “best friend”. I have simply known her for a VERY long time & we grew up together. Her mother is VERY dear to my parents and to me as well (similar to your situation). Her mother is like extended family. Unfortunately the bride must come from a different set of genes (HAHA) b/c she is so opposite of all the rest of us. We have always accepted and loved her all the same but since this whole wedding stuff started she’s become a different person. And YOU ARE RIGHT about stepping away. GREAT minds think alike as I’ve been thinking all along that once this wedding madness is over I think it’s best she just live her life and I live mine. I will always be civil, courteous, etc. But we just don’t jive anymore…THANK YOU for understanding.

Hawkfire

I can easily overlook her harsh words and her ridiculous ways. I’ve been doing it for YEARS! Today is nothing new. I would like to clarify that I’m not angry, hostile or rigid I’m simply frustrated at a few things and above all else HURT by her insensitive comments b/c I have Celiac Disease. Thanks for your input all the same.

Patti (my celiac guardian angel)

As always you understand me. YES, I felt like she crossed the line when she reacted so negatively to my Celiac Disease and the gluten-free Diet I have to adhere to 24/7. And obviously, the friendship doesn’t mean that much to her. That’s crystal clear and that’s fine. I’ve accepted that and will move on once this is all over with. And like you said worrying about what others think does unfortunately play a part in this particular situation b/c it’s NOT just about the bride. It’s about 2 families with over 27 years together. That’s my opinion anyway. I am not just thinking about the bride when I think about this wedding. Thanks for your wise words of wisdom and for always watching over me. :)

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Turtle, all I can say is that I'm sorry you are going through this...I wish I could do something to make it better and just all go away. I don't have any more advice other than what the others have already said; I just wanted to let you know I wish I could give you a hug. I hope it all works out.

chrissy, I don't know about official wedding etiquette, but i've been in numerous weddings (including one in two weeks! yay!) and have had my own (2 years ago), and the bridesmaids (in all) have paid for their own dresses. The bride often gives them jewelry to wear (as the bridesmaids gift) but that isn't always the case.

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Turtle,

You are not alone, this is a common theme for bridesmaids etc.

But I have worked with & for catering services & restaurants & have discovered that if I discuss my needs with the chef of each, they ALWAY find me something to have. In fact, I just had a wedding guest call me 3 days before the wedding who is Celiac & we had no problem making her a plate of what the meal was minus things she couldn;t have. We made hers first & put it aside. I made sure everyone working the reception knew who she was & she had no problems. In fact, the bride didn't even know it had occured.

But yes women do go weird once that white dress is bought.

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Guest ~jules~

I'm sorry :( My brother got married last may, I know your grief as I was in the party...UGH!!!!!! $$$$$$ :rolleyes: (and drama) <_< Personally, maybe I'm just not a girly girl, but I think big weddings are silly, stressfull and a waste of money. Mine was small and low key, it went very well....Well have fun, or try to I guess ;)

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