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debmidge

Leaving Job: What Reasons Has Anyone Ever Given For

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Has anyone ever been in spot where you had a job you hated, but didn't want to tell the exact truth to them when you left as to why you were leaving because the truth could be turned around and used against you if anyone ever called them for a reference?


Husband has Celiac Disease and

Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -

The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis

Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,

most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as

being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."

Serious Depressive state ensued

Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003

Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.

Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle

Developed neuropathy in 2005

Now has lymphadema 2006It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

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Who are you telling this to? Your former employer or your future?

If its your former employer, you do not have to give them a reason. Ppl, esply woman, tend to tell way to much. Just say something like "I no long wish to work here" or "I no longer feel that this company and I are a good fit".

If you have a job offer already, you can just asy "I was offered something better elsewhere and decided to take it"

You do not have to defend your self here, the key is to say as little as possible and that usally is more then enough.

If it is your FUTURE employer, then you use something like, "There was no hope of growth for me in that position", or something like that. Employers that are interviewing you DO NOT want to hear dirt about the previous employer because then they worry about what you will say about THEM.

Always, always tell the truth, just do not tell more then what is needed.


- Vincent -

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Morning Deb, just want to tell you good luck in whatever you do. My last 2 jobs in Michigan, there was no doubt in anyone's mind as to why I was leaving. Both bosses were totally obnoxious, off the wall cruel people and as proof of that, they both no longer have positions with either place I worked.

The boss I have now didn't even care who I had worked for, he hired me on my answers to his questions. He doesn't really have an application, it's more of a questionaire type thing, such as: We are very much like a family here, do you feel you can fit in? or: What do you feel you could bring to this office? Not really an application. The one thing he said to me was, "I hire people for the long run, if you do not feel you will be staying with us for long, then please say so now." I filled out the questionaire, was called for an interview that same day at 1:15, was hired in 15 mins and have been there for over 2 years now. I started out as his receptionist, became an optical assistant and now also do the office accounting, replacing my friend Rita who retired after being with him for 15 years.

It's really up to you what you say or don't say. You should have something you want to say to them or rumors will be worse than anything you may have said. It's a dog eat dog world out there. ;)

Take care and good luck.

Deb


Deb

Long Island, NY

Double DQ1, subtype 6

We urge all doctors to take time to listen to your patients.. don't "isolate" symptoms but look at the whole spectrum. If a patient tells you s/he feels as if s/he's falling apart and "nothing seems to be working properly", chances are s/he's right!

"The calm river of your life approaches the rocky chute of the rapids - flow on through. You are the same water. The rocks cannot hurt you. Remember, now and then, that you are the water and not the boat. Flow on!

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When I left the lab 2 years ago I left because I hated it...Hated it because it was a dead end job, the raises were horrible, and a few other reasons. I took a job elsewhere in the hospital and I told them I was taking the new job because I knew I had more potential and I needed the new challenge.

The job I left has a high turnover rate and the supervisor I had knew I could be out there doing more, so no one was offended by me saying that, and since I didn't burn the bridges when I left I now work overtime for them frequently.

If you know you can be in a much better job tell them that, just say it in a professional way, you made need them as references in the future. Good Luck!!!!

Do you already have a new job? If so what is it?


~~~~Gluten Free since 9/2004~~~~~~

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!

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Deb, I know this is the internet and all but trying to guess without your reasons is a shot in the dark ...


Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt. (JC, De Bello Gallico Liber III/XVIII)

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I would simply say "for personal reasons"....no explaination needed.


Lisa

Gluten Free - August 15, 2004

"Not all who wander are lost" - JRR Tolkien

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I've told the truth. There's little that can be truly turned against you on a reference that would be your own reason for leaving.

The last job I moved from (though I stayed in the company, I switched projects and moved to a new state), I honestly said that it was the poor management of the program that drove me to leave. I cited specific examples (both in the exit interview with HR and in a private conversation that I initiated with program management - the latter was the nerve wracking part) and noted what was second hand knowledge (but still affected me) and what was first hand knowledge.

The first job I moved from I also directly told my management that they were the reason I moved on - I had asked for a broader scope of work, for over a year, but they hadn't done anything about it, and I needed something different.

I'm not advocating brutal honesty and in both cases my words were very carefully considered and calculated (over weeks or months, really) and put in a positive light (even when there wasn't always one... the last job change was part of the implosion of my whole workgroup and the 'resignation' of a senior manager), and I did my best to make sure to understand the position of the person/people who were the reason for my leaving and take that into consideration. But without at least some measure of honesty, they have no chance of improvement.

(I suppose I should qualify by saying that I am in an industry where I can virtually guarantee that I will work with someone in the future whom I've worked with in the past, or who has worked with a previous coworker of mine. And these job changes kept me within the same company. That makes for a subtle difference. The building of a particular reputation comes into play at this point when you *know* that the circle of people who know you will be maintained in the industry you work in, and I've made a conscious decision that 'open honesty' is an important part of my reputation (as it is to my personality), despite the potential - and real - consequences. So far, in seven years, it has been a very good decision.)


Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"

Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy

G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004

Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me

Bellevue, WA

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An excellent reply from Tarnalberry ....

I honestly think I need examples...because you can stick to the truth in many ways...

My last job I quit for multiple reasons ... I mentioned some but not others....

Reasons

They were dishonest with me.... when they moved me to Paris they promised amongst other things a house and a French course .. (I spoke no French at all) I ended up with an appartment and no French course... the apparmtment was important to my ex-wife... as was thier transparency... and after I accepted the appt instead of a house was a turning point in the divorce... This I omittited.

Secondly was again lack of honesty... they wanted to move me back to Nigeria... they neglected to tell me that it was because the guy I was taking over from had been issued death threats ... and in all likelyhood so would I.

Considering my ability to find the small arms I need just to be safe relies on my company and my evac plan also does and they already lied to me on many issues... I decided against it... I kinda implied this part without directly saying it ws their lack of honesty.

That they wanted to move me right at the time my girlfriend was moving to Paris.... this I mentioned...

That my job had deteriorated into a joke because of office politics outside my control and nothing to do with me... I told to my immediate boss and the HR people back in the UK...

That celiac disease was a large part and the frequent travelling and inability to find gluten-free food was making me ill.... I didn't mention specifically because it can be mentioed on a reference in a "harmless way" ... like "Carla is very good at her job and we recommend her completely, she only left because she was unable to undertake part of her duties eating with clients because of her medical condition".

This might not even be relevant to the next job but its an easy backhanded way to have a dig you can't sue for being incorrect (if you actually mention it) ... if your really good at your job... they might just do this to stop another company benefiting from your experience.

I once wanted to hire two guys.... shouldn't have been any problem .. budget was under my control and I knew the guys could do the job... (better than my present staff even)...

However HR stopped me hiring because .... when thier company was merged with ours they took a package to leave instead of moving to the oppostite end of the country....

Somewhat ironic... we then merged again and moved back to the original location!

These people were not rehired, even with my best attempts simply because the company decided that if someone wouldn't up and move to the other side of the country where another language is spoken (albeit understandable) to a completely different life and lifestyle (and bearing in mind after they move they could STILL loose their jobs)... well that they must be traitorous and unreliable and whatever else... I also had contractors and many of those were refused by HR on the same reasons...


Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt. (JC, De Bello Gallico Liber III/XVIII)

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Vydorscope is right. People always feel the need to say too much. I use to work in a corp. HR, and you do not owe them any reason for leaving.

To unload or not to unload? There are several things to consider. First and foremost, can they really use it against you? A company that doesn't want a lawsuit will not share anything that is not documented in your file. But, if you work in a tight or small network.....well you know where I'm going with this.

Second, will it do any good to tell anyone any of the problems? Often it won't. It's cheaper to loose an employee than to clean house.

Third, will you stay awake at night kicking yourself for not saying anything. You don't want to leave regretting the unsaid. If you really can't say anything when you quit, and you know saying anything won't help, BUT you need to say something for piece of mind....wait until you have a secure job and write a letter. You might find after you leave that you can leave it behind, but if you can't take action with a letter so that you can move on.

Good luck!


Stomach problems began November of 2005

Gall bladder removed April 2006

Positive Blood test October 2006

Refused endoscope

Gluten-free since January 21, 2007

Positive reaction to diet

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21b

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My favorite line that I see my other teenage friends use is: "Left for better job opportunities."

-Ash


-Diganosed with Celiac's Disease on April 15, 2005.

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life"-Picasso

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Lots of food for thought here, but I'd say that Vydorscope's advice is brilliant. I wouldn't say, "left for better job opportunities" because then any potential boss would think that you are only out for yourself. "No hope of growth for me in that position" sounds WAY less selfish and WAY more mature.

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A lot of good advice here. A lot of my problem is as Tiffany mentioned -- poor management decisions affecting my work load and performance (as regards tools to do the job and too heavy of a work load). I'd rather not tell them. My industry is small and sometimes a bad reference is given "off record" and one will never know it was done, you'd just sit scratching your head trying to figure out why you didn't get the job.


Husband has Celiac Disease and

Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -

The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis

Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,

most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as

being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."

Serious Depressive state ensued

Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003

Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.

Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle

Developed neuropathy in 2005

Now has lymphadema 2006It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

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A lot of good advice here. A lot of my problem is as Tiffany mentioned -- poor management decisions affecting my work load and performance. I'd rather not tell them. My industry is small and sometimes a bad reference is given "off record" and one will never know it was done, you'd just sit scratching your head trying to figure out why you didn't get the job.

I think your right.... you don't owe them an explanation... if you already foiund another job just say you got offered a job with more possibilities if asked or just say you were ready for a change...

both of the cases I said above were patently illegal... (in the country I was in at the time)...

Like you I'm in a small industry (well I was) and word gets around... in general I think if you can't find something positive to say its best just to say as little as possible... the very manager(s) making poor decisions could end up being your boss again in another company where they aren't in a position to make bad descisions affecting you but can make life a bit more difficult. Or they might just be playing golf with your new manager or tennis with your head of HR?

Like you I would want to say something BUT I would do my very best not to.


Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt. (JC, De Bello Gallico Liber III/XVIII)

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meh... nevermind. :)


Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"

Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy

G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004

Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me

Bellevue, WA

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