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Ignorant Step-father


r0ckah0l1c

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r0ckah0l1c Apprentice

I still live under my parents' roof and it seems that my step father always feels he is right about MY celiac disease complications even though he does not experience what I experience. He claims that doctors have told me that I can eat things with gluten in them because I will not react to everything, I have to eat things with gluten to find out if all gluten products will affect me. He says I just ignored the doctor saying this and that my breathing difficulties, constipation, uncomfortable bloating, and skin irritations are caused by me thinking about them too much. He says I am overreacting and a hypochondriac. It's confusing because he has spent tons of money on gluten free food and doctors appointments, so why is he being so hypocritical now? What do I do so that he will stop poisoning me with gluten? Any help is greatly appreciated =)


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one more mile Contributor

He is probably just afraid. People tend to react out of either fear or love and when they are told that what they think is the "staff of life" they tend to be scared. I have had more then one person say that they would just die if They found out that they were allergic to wheat.

I have been told my whole life that I am a hypochondriac by my family. It is so nice for me to finely have something to pin all my symptoms on. I still get crap from them from time to time. My dad ,who is not a church goer, just told me that I was going against Gods will because I will not eat bread, which in the bible is the staff of life. I just grinned and did not bother fighting with him over something so dumb. I know what happens when I eat bread.

I guess my point is that I do not need to prove right or wrong to someone else I know that gluten will make me ill.It would be hard living under those circumstances.But being sick is harder. I hope he comes around for you.

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

I would say that there is a point at which you must simply say no. Noone can force food down your throat. I learned early that it is far better to go without than to eat gluten. This may trigger more severe behavior on his part, but I say refuse to argue, and refuse to eat anything not safe for you. Only you can protect your health. And where's your mother in all this?

NorthernElf Enthusiast

Somewhere along the line every celiac has to put their foot down & take control. I think the reason many of us have a problem doing this is because our road to discovering we have celiacs is 'murky'. Most of us have been dealing with weird symptoms for years, some of us don't even get a definitive diagnosis...that's the problem with a disease that you can't test for once you are gluten free. The other issue is that the list of symptoms is long & variable. Some people are very reactive instantly, others aren't...and some are almost asymptomatic. Any way you look at it though, we all MUST avoid gluten for our long term health.

Yes, it isn't easy !!!

Your best defense is a good offense. Be very strict, zero tolerance. Don't let any gluten pass your lips. The minute those around you see you being strict with your diet, consistently, they will start to leave you alone. It will take awhile to convince everyone. Remember, they have seen you eat gluten for years - some don't understand why you can't anymore. It's not as dramatic as a peanut allergy, with a fast, intense reaction (thank goodness!) but it is important for you to protect your intestinal tract.

People I am around know I can't eat it - don't even try to push it on me because I never go near it. Once in awhile I accidentally gluten myself and that's enough - they see the effects. I'm not a nice person to be around if I get glutened ! :P

Does this suck - you bet. Be good to yourself first though and stick to it - I decided a long time ago that I want to feel good all the time and going without some of my favorite foods is worth it. At this point, I rarely miss most of it.

r0ckah0l1c Apprentice

My mother believes me, but my step father is a military man and nobody can ever convince him that he is wrong. I never knowingly let gluten pass my lips, I am just trying to find a way for him to realize that I can't eat ANY gluten. I don't know why he thinks that some amounts of it are okay. He has diverticulitis (unsure if that is spelled correctly) and sometimes he can eat seeds and nuts and be fine so he doesn't realize that celiac disease is more complicated.

Gobbie Apprentice

You and I seem to be going through s very similar situation.

Perhaps this parents in denial issue after all is a common thing with Food Intolerances perhaps especially with gluten involved since it generally tastes 'nice' and is found almost everywhere.

You just have to say NO I think.

One can try to 'prove' by giving evidences via actions or whatever but believe me it is NOT worth it and I speak from experience. My parents are in FULL denial about my severe gluten intolerance along with few other ones and whenever I try to prove myself right by consuming gluten and displaying the symptoms they do not believe me still. They argue that it is because I have not consumed enough gluten or that my brain is making things up. Really? Everytime? Eventhough I am often unaware certain products contain gluten until symptoms show and I read the ingredient list? lol.

They are absolutely overjoyed when seeing me consuming on gluten or grains (I am badly intolerant to this as well perhaps worse than gluten). Only the gluten sufferers would know what they would have looked like in my mind lol.

I am not sure how to make your step father believe in you as I am having trouble with that myself but DO NOT consume on the offender foods. It is only going to make you physically sick. I know that having trust issues with your family makes you depressed and brings cloud over your mind but at least your body will be alright, you know.

Only if there is a button that will make our loved ones ACCEPT our conditions. If only.

xoxo

ang1e0251 Contributor

I would say your step father doesn't need to believe it; only you do. Don't worry about him.


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