Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-m):


  • You've found your Celiac Tribe! Join our like-minded, private community and share your story, get encouragement and connect with others.

    💬

    • Sign In
    • Sign Up

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

VegasCeliacBuckeye

"you Might Be A Celiac If....."

Recommended Posts

Here are a few more.

You know you are Celiac when you go to the store and make them bring out the ingredients to all the dressings on the salads.

When you grill people who work at restaurants as to what is in something, how it is made, can it be made in a clean pan. By the time you are done they look like a deer caught in the headlights.

When you find shampoo/conditioner, food that you can eat at the store in a restaurant and you get all excited and do the "happy dance."


Rusla

Asthma-1969

wheat/ dairy allergies, lactose/casein intolerance-1980

Multiple food, environmental allergies

allergic to all antibiotics except sulpha

Rheumitoid arthritis,Migraine headaches,TMJ- 1975

fibromyalgia-1995

egg allergy-1997

msg allergy,gall bladder surgery-1972

Skin Biopsy positive DH-Dec.1 2005, confirmed celiac disease

gluten-free totally since Nov. 28, 2005

Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism- 2005

Pernicious Anemia 1999 (still anemic on and off.)

Osteoporosis Aug. 2006

Creative people need maids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You might be a Celiac if you can spend 2 hours in a grocery store, on your cell phone, waiting on hold with company 1-800 numbers!

You might be a Celiac if you ever felt like giving the people at Kraft a great big hug!

Oh yeah...one more! You have to restrain yourself from choking the person who is telling you about how hard it is to stick to their atkins diet!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
With so many newbies recently, I thought I would resurrect an old and now "infamous" thread started by broncobux. This thread shows how, eventually, you will be able to deal with this disease with a bit of humour.

Happy reading!

Hugs.

Karen

Hi, a newbie here. How great it is to hear all this humour. I actually surprized myself last week with my own sense of humour, when after readiing about what Ophra did to that author, I told my family I think I'll write a book and get it in her book club called, "I Got The West Nile Virus-Encephalitis-Celiac Disease Blues". Right then I realized I had a sense of humour afterall. Of cousre they didn't think it was that funny. Oh well.

smiles,

Elsa

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Celiac culture is like Deaf culture, people who sign or are deaf have different jokes than the rest of the population. To them it is funny, others don't understand. Celiac is the same way, only we can find humor in our condition.


Rusla

Asthma-1969

wheat/ dairy allergies, lactose/casein intolerance-1980

Multiple food, environmental allergies

allergic to all antibiotics except sulpha

Rheumitoid arthritis,Migraine headaches,TMJ- 1975

fibromyalgia-1995

egg allergy-1997

msg allergy,gall bladder surgery-1972

Skin Biopsy positive DH-Dec.1 2005, confirmed celiac disease

gluten-free totally since Nov. 28, 2005

Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism- 2005

Pernicious Anemia 1999 (still anemic on and off.)

Osteoporosis Aug. 2006

Creative people need maids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Explaining to people that -surprise!- white bread IS made from wheat flour... duh...

Great post!!

How about just explaining to people that flour in general is made from wheat!


Jillian

Positive Blood test and Biopsy

Inflamed stomach lining

Gluten free since July 6, 2005

Tarrytown, NY

"Sometimes being a b$tch is all a woman has to hold onto." - Dolores Claiborne

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I cannot fathom anyone who is a baker not knowing that the flour he is using is from wheat.


Rusla

Asthma-1969

wheat/ dairy allergies, lactose/casein intolerance-1980

Multiple food, environmental allergies

allergic to all antibiotics except sulpha

Rheumitoid arthritis,Migraine headaches,TMJ- 1975

fibromyalgia-1995

egg allergy-1997

msg allergy,gall bladder surgery-1972

Skin Biopsy positive DH-Dec.1 2005, confirmed celiac disease

gluten-free totally since Nov. 28, 2005

Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism- 2005

Pernicious Anemia 1999 (still anemic on and off.)

Osteoporosis Aug. 2006

Creative people need maids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You might be a Celiac if you pay $11 for a six-pack of beer, even though it might explode in your fridge before you get a chance to drink it.

You might be a Celiac if, EVERY time to see the letters "G.F.", in any context whatsoever (even one that does not relate to food or gluten at all in any way) you get all excited and think those letters mean "gluten-free" (that's happened to me a couple times in the past few weeks).


"Let food be thy medicine, and let thy medicine be food." - Hippocrates

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you know you are a celiac mom, when in addition to "knowing your kids friends" you have to send over a notebook of gluten information, a bag of food, homemade playdough, homemade fingerpaints, and have a sit down meeting with other kids' parents, before every single play date and answer questions like "she can have sugar cookies right?. what about white bread?, what about whole wheat pasta?"

<_<


Gluten free since 5/06

mommy to Annika(3) gluten free since 5/04 and Kathryn (5) gluten free since 10/05

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You might be a Celiac if you pay $11 for a six-pack of beer, even though it might explode in your fridge before you get a chance to drink it.

:lol: LOL I convinced the local wine shop to carry my gluten-free beer, but they had to send it all back because it was exploding in their fridge!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You might be a Celiac if..

-- you read the ingrdients on a bottled water for "hidden gluten"

-- You try to explain to your friends about www.glutenfreeforum.com as an "online support group" and they laugh at you and call you "weird"

-- You wish you could become the person in charge of ordering gluten free items for the grocery store (cause you know what Celiacs really want -- compared to the current person/idiot)

-- You think you could open a gluten free brewery and make it work (instead of having exploding bottles)

-- you wonder if your carpet cleaner has gluten (gotta watch those fumes)

-- your other "irrational fears" have taken a backseat since diagnosis

-- you think you could open a gluten-free restaurant and could be successful

-- you have recommended the book "Dangerous Grains" to anyone who obviously does not understand celiac disease or gluten intolerance and wondered why they refused to read it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You might be a Celiac if..

-- You try to explain to your friends about www.glutenfreeforum.com as an "online support group" and they laugh at you and call you "weird"

LOL. I explained this site to a friend the other day and that was her exact response - "weird."


"Let food be thy medicine, and let thy medicine be food." - Hippocrates

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LOL. I explained this site to a friend the other day and that was her exact response - "weird."

I know, I mentioned that there was a support group where I live and that I had been thinking of going, and my friend says "you have a support group for a food allergy?"

I wanted to scream. I don't know how many times I have explained to everyone it's not an allergy!!!!!!! It's a chronic disease, and one with a difficult diet, and you need support for that.


Gluten free since 5/06

mommy to Annika(3) gluten free since 5/04 and Kathryn (5) gluten free since 10/05

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You might be celiac if:

1) You burn out more than 2 motors in one year in your bathroom vent fan.

2) Your toilet is sooo important to you that you become your own plumber when it breaks down (I just replaced the flapper tank ball a few weeks ago!)

Karen


Karen

positive bloodwork, positive biopsy

Celiac, collagenous colitis, hypothyroidism

endometriosis (at age 20)

spinal stenosis (early 20's)

Biopsy August 2006 confirmed complete villous atrophy despite being gluten-free for years and bloodwork within range showing compliance with diet. Doctor has confirmed diagnosis of Refractory Celiac Sprue.

Endoscopy also showed numerous stomach ulcers, have started taking Losec.

Mother to Eileen 13 yrs

Rhiannon 8 yrs

Daniel & Connor 6 yr twin boys......

"Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us."

Orison Swett Marden

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

-- Victor Borge

"An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh."

Tom Nansbury

"Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac."

Unknown

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You insist on a certain quality of toilet paper like other people insist on a certain thread count of sheets.


The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it.

~Chinese Proverb

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You insist on a certain quality of toilet paper like other people insist on a certain thread count of sheets.

LOL!That made me chuckle.

My husband alway's insisted on 'posh' loo roll all our marriage-now he's dx'd I know why!!!....


It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required - Sir Winston Churchill

Nikki

Son diagnosed with Coeliac Disease Oct 2006 by biopsy (at age 13yrs)

black_cat.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good idea to resurrect this topic!

Summary of them all!

You might be celiac if...

1. The centerpiece on your dining room table is a bread machine.

2. Your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play Doh.

3. Your bread weighs more than any moon rock could possibly weigh.

4. The only way you will eat your bread is toasted.

5. You've paid over $5 for a loaf of bread.

6. You make your own pizza

7. You visit a health food store at least twice a week.

8. You buy most of your food on the Internet.

9. One of your primary goals in life is to create "Fake Oreo Cookies" (and/or Cheerios)

10. There are Garage Sale stickers on all your kitchen food containers.

11. You have argued about and read articles about distilled vinegar and oats.

12. You've disinherited loved ones for putting their knife in your mayo.

13. You've ever been caught licking a discarded Twinkie wrapper.

14. At Christmas, visions of guar gum dance in your head.

15. You are a strictly brand name shopper

16. You've ever had to give a doctor a crash course in Celiac 101.

17. You weep at picnics, parties, receptions and fast food joints.

18. You weep at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

19. You've ever "brown bagged it" to an elegant dinner party.

20. You have written "contaminated" on jars of peanut butter.

21. You have become friends with the customer service representatives at every company.

22. The customer service representatives at every company recognize your voice.

23. You know the difference between an allergy and an intolerance...and you care.

24. You have two of everything in your kitchen (pots, pans, wooden spoons, etc.).

25. You are afraid of spices and in restaurants, ask for your food "naked."

26. You are afraid of and have nightmares about bagels, pizza, and cake.

27. You make many phone calls from the supermarket.

28. You know what disodium phosphate, tartaric acid, and quinoa are...and care.

29. You know who Danna Korn, Peter Green, and Anne Lee are.

30. You bring many, many lists with you to the supermarket.

31. The first thing you do, upon reaching an unfamiliar location, is pinpoint the location of the nearest bathroom.

32. You have ever tried to explain to a waiter that "it is necessary to use clean pans for you food" and he stares back at you in disbelief.

33. You ordered a salad with no croutons and the entire time its being made you wish you could go back to the kitchen and watch them prepapre it but were afraid to ask.

34. You have taken a poop at all of your friends and relatives houses, even if you just met them...

35. You have explained to people the difference/similarities between Modified Food Starch and Modified Corn Starch at least 50 times (or you know what disodium phosphate is -- celiac3270)

36. You ask Asian restaurants if they have baked or mashed potatoes

37. You ask every restaurant if they have baked/mashed potatoes

38. You've kissed someone who just drank beer and wonder if you will get sick

39. You've kissed someone who just drank a beer and you really wanted their beer instead of your vodka/tonic, wine, spritzer, ......

40. You've responded to someone's post on a website about bowel problems and were brutally honest about your own "issues with bowels"

41. You read this post and laughed because you've "been there"

42. People think you're on the Atkins diet

43. You've asked for a bunless burger...and been looked at as if you have three heads.

44. You've asked about the ingredients of shampoo

45. You post on this board...that's not funny, though

46. You've washed your telephone after your child/spouse has answered it while eating.

47. You've checked all cups in a coffee shop for crumb residue.

48. You can say Kinnikinnick 10 times fast without making a mistake

49. With just one quick whiff, you can pinpoint the brand name and fragrance of every air freshener on the market!

50. You have had to leave the room because someone else was eating Pizza Hut's breadsticks and they smelled TOOOOOOO good!

51. Someone else complains of IBS, and you tell them to quit eating gluten!

52. Or you know someone that was dx with diverticulitis and you tell them to stop eating gluten!!!

53. You don't know what a "normal" bowel movement is.

54. You thought of (or started) a topic called "you might be a celiac if...."

55. Eating out is a "death sentence" not an enjoyable event!

56. All you eat at the church pot luck dinner is jello

57. Your tears compete with your drool when you pass a Krispy Kreme!!!

58. Carry some type of medication with 24/7 (ie Immodium)

59. At least once a day smile and say, "Sorry, I can't have that"

60. Have been lectured on your crazy dieting and told to just forget about your weight

61. Have survived for some period of time solely on rice or peanut butter

62. Physically flinch at the feel of bread or similar product

63. Feel nauseous at the sight of some gluten filled food

64. Have mastered the art of passing gas in public

65. You read this list to your SO (who doesn't have celiac) and they laughed right along with you.

66. You have ever thought you might explode from holding in a fart too long while in public

67. You have ever had nightmares about being trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store

68. You have ever had a meltdown from actually BEING trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store.

69. You call a dream about eating pizza and chocolate cake a NIGHTMARE!!

70. You read a topic called Cheating and you just KNOW it's not about her husband and her best friend!!

71. Your answer to this joke: "Why did the lion spit out the clown?" is something like... "Because the lion had celiac and as his fangs began to clench down he saw out of the corner of his eye that the clown's hand was holding a slice of pizza ?" When the real answer is: "Because the clown tasted funny!"

72. You pay $1.59 for a 12 oz bottle of rootbeer!

73. You?re glad that summer is here. Not because the winter is too cold, but because in summer you can enjoy the hot fudge sundaes with the fries at McDonalds better.

74. You never leave the house for longer than 5 hours without taking some food with you.

75. There is a banquet where you will get honored and you?ve asked, if you can get the entry ticket for the party that includes the banquet food, for a cheaper price, because you can?t eat there anyway (don?t laugh, that happened to me two weeks ago).

76. Everybody on your sports travel team knows that there are some ?celiacs? on the team and what these celiacs can and can?t have, including the medication, when you get hurt at competition. And every non-celiac keeps their fingers of the ?celiac-travel-cooler?.

77. You have an extra first aid celiac medication kit for the celiacs in your travel team and everybody (even the non-celiacs) knows, where it is.

78. Your hubby sits in front of the television in the evening while you surf on www.celiac.com.

79. Your children just "know" that it is not safe to go into the bathroom for at least 5 minutes after you leave it.....

80. You've ever asked the waitress is the ice tea has wheat in it....

81. You've rolled your eyes when a non-celiac has said to you in a health food store, "I've (voluntarily) tried the gluten free diet before, I felt great"

82. You been afraid of having your significant other spend the night because of "night gas"...

83. You have sent someone else to the store to buy "emergency pepto"

84. You have received 3 copies of Bette Hagman's books collecting dust in your bookcase

85. You've actually said a profanity in a grocery store after reading an ingredient label and seen "wheat flour" as one of the ingredients....

86. You've wondered if Pepto or Immodium have "hidden gluten"

87. You've thought that your future soulmate is another celiac

88. You've called 4 grocery stores and 3 duistributors in various parts of your home state to encourage them to carry Bard's Dragon Gold Beer -- I did that this week

89. Every time you order gluten-free food at a chain fast food restaurant, you lean over and try to watch them make it..

90. Someone has said to you "Just try a little bit and see if it hurts your tummy"

91. A family member has sprayed the air freshener directly on you hoping that will help and you will fart Spring Fresh.

92. You eat before you go out to eat.

93. You ask family members to bring barf bags home from airplane flights.

94. You tell your husband to drive really fast and then you still have to stop at a public restroom when you are only 5 minutes from home.

95. Your significant other knows what it means when you look at him and say "Uh-oh, I don't feel so good."

96. You call the bread aisle in the supermarket "The Aisle of Death"......

97. You are constantly wiping down the kitchen table and counters in an effort to rid the place of inadvertently strewn gluten crumbs from the non-celiacs' foods in the home.

98. You get tears in your eyes when you notice that a manufacturer changed the formula and now makes their product gluten-free.

99. While in the kitchen, you have physically restrained someone from putting the nonGF gravy spoon in the gluten-free food.

100. In the supermarket, the Deli clerks run when they see you as you insist that they clean the slicer's blade before they cut gluten-free lunch meat for you.

101. You have an understanding now of people of other religions who keep a Kosher kitchen keep everything straight.

102. Your four year old (not celiac) can list all the things at Wendy's and McDonald's that are gluten free.

103. You cheer when you go to the grocery store and they have started carrying gluten-free items! I live in a small town and to find gluten-free stuff in this town-tough!!

104. Your friends and family just tell you to stop eating bread, pizza and pasta and you'll feel better..........get a clue!

105. How about you know your a celiac when you are sitting home on a Saturday night posting on the celiac site instead of out to dinner with your friends!

106. You have anxiety attacks when dinner party invitations are extended.

107. Only have to give your spouse "the look" and they know its a marathon dash to find the closest restroom.

108. You've taken account for every public rest stop on each commuting route to and from work.

109. You've given up hopes of enjoying a real meal outside of your home.

110. You've uttered every known curse word after realizing you've ingested gluten.

111. You drive past a huge, incredibly gorgeous, bright green, lush field wheat and say, "oh look, hundreds of acres of poison!"

112. You're starting to wonder if your co-workers are noticing how much time you spend in the restroom.

113. Buffets terrify and infuriate you at the same time.

114. Your friends are jealous of you, because your food looks tastier than theirs.

115. The people who work with you for your diet only talk to you about your disease and nothing else.

116. People come to you who have your symptoms (diarrhea, etc.) and think that they automatically have celiac disease, even though they have the flu.

117. People walk up to you and ask you how your "glucose" problem is.

118. You've ever stunk yourself out of your own bedroom

119. Your roommates give you a dirty look every time you leave the bathroom

120. All your family has a supply of gluten free flour in their cupboard

121. Your little sister starts to yell at people for "double dipping" into the mayo jar

122. Your older, non-Celiac brother knows what Soy Crisps are.

123. You're ever said that wheat is a product of satan.

124. You insist on having WHAT YOU WANT no matter what.

125. You've ever gotten tired of eating the same food multiple times.

126. You love cheese.

127. You CRAVE Pacific Brand Roasted Red Pepper soup, and become depressed if there's none left in the pantry.

128. You know what a food diary is and you know how to use it.

129. You know all the health food stores in your area and can tell the shortest/fastest way how to get there.

130. You find immodium packed away in every bag

131. You've memorized the "safe" and "forbidden" ingredients lists on this website.

132. You cry anytime you hear the fries in a restaurant are fried with the chicken tenders.

133. You are usually the one doing the cooking for any family event.

134. You are the only one who doesn't forget you have celiac disease. (my family 4gets sometimes, and i sit there with a certain look on my face like "HELLO!?! Think again..")

135. You loved the list and couldn't stop laughing at it.

136. You're going to print the list and show it to everyone you know just to see how many will act like they understand it.

137. You've memorized the health food stores phone numbers in the surrounding cities.

138. You have had to explain the difference between gluten and glutton several times....

139. Nobody will watch the Food Network with you anymore because you spend the entire show saying "well i cant eat that" or "that would kill me"

140. You might be a celiac if the main fast food restaurant you eat at is McDonalds.

141. You might be a celiac if the only place you eat at is McDonalds.

142. You know what xanthan gum is, and how to pronounce it.

143. You think of paradise as a glutenfree world instead of a place where angels fly around.

144. You want to kill the people who ask you if you want bread or pasta---and these same people who ALREADY KNOW THAT YOU HAVE celiac disease.

145. You propose to open a Celiacs Only restaurant for your Business and Technical Writing paper.

146. You hate the fact that no one can learn the hidden ingredients on your list---especially if they're FOOD SERVICE WORKERS.

147. You feel as if Beef and Cheese sticks are to you what pizza logs are to everyone else--a meal.

148. You know who Bette Hagman, the Gluten free gourmet, and Connie Sarros, the Gluten Free Guru are and care.

149. You want celiac3270 and Kaiti to run for president of the U.S.A.

150. When you are reading other forums, when you see DH, your first thought is not "Dear Husband" but "Dermatitis Herptiformus"......

151. You can button your pants in the morning, but they no longer fasten after breakfast

152. "Gas prices" makes you think of your grocery bill instead of your car tank

153. There is a 10-fold chance of your kids saying: "She's in the bathroom" when someone calls...... (even though you drill it through their heads over and over again not to say that!!!! How embarrassing!)

154. You wash your hands AT LEAST 100 times a day

155. When you go on vacation, you have two bags...one for your clothes and one for your food. The one for your food is bigger.

156. Seeing the words "gluten free" on a mainstream item has ever caused you to dance a jig in the middle of the canned food aisle in the grocery store...and you are not in the least embarrassed by that.

157. You've ever listened to someone complaining about the awful stomach virus they had over the weekend and thought, "wuss".

158. You can use your loaf of bread in place of weights when excersizing.

159. You are a regular at Outback, PF Changs and the local sushi restaurant.

160. The people at TCBY know you and immediately go get your topping from its original container in the back of the store.

161. You always have a packet of salad dressing/soy sauce in your bag at all times.

162. You bring your own sauce when you go out to eat.

163. Suddenly you realize that your obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) could be a *good* thing!

164. You plan a get together and question the guests about any allergies or special dietary needs...and they know you will actually try to feed them.

165. You're at a party offering food/drinks and you find yourself examining product packages in the garbage

166. You have your own pantry in your house.

167. You jokingly tell your friends, "Wheat makes you fat."

168. You ever wanted to buy that "Wheat Sucks" T-Shirt.

169. You're upset when your rice bread crumbles.

170. When you read "If your browser or firewall is set to not accept all cookies" you think it is saying your browser is gluten-free ... like the forum !

171. When you list your house for sale, you say spacious, modern, gluten-free kitchen. I was home for a walk through and I almost told the lady rubbing her hand down the counter top, "It's a gluten-free kitchen"

172. When you make a grilled cheese only to find out your bread has sucked up all the cheese. (Our bread really sucks!)

173. You get extremly excited when your poop comes out actually looking like a terd

174. You bring your own gluten free bread or muffins with you when you eat out.

175. (To add to the bowel movement comments) You could probably set the world record for most trips to the bathroom even when you didn't eat gluten!

176. You carry a cooler with you whenever you leave the house (that's my signature move)

177. The chef at a restaurant you are eating at comes out to talk to you about safe foods/ingredients for your meal.

178. You have had to call ahead to order "special" food from a restaurant for your meeting because the food they are serving has gluten in it.

179. Someone has told you they had what you have and outgrew it.

180. Someone has told you that you should slowly reintroduce gluten into your body in small increments that way you can build up a tolerance for it in the future.

181. Your waitress has brought out your salad with croutons on it even when you specifically told her NO CROUTONS! Then you have to tell her that they cannot just take the croutons off the salad, they must make a completely new one.

182. You check every package of every product (food/medicine/etc) that you come into contact with for gluten.

183. You are annoyed every time you read "Modified Food Starch" in the ingredients of a food you REALLY want to eat!

184. Someone has given you the weirdest look when they see what pre-packaged gluten free food you are eating.

185. Someone has spit out your expensive gluten free food after asking to try some.

186. Someone thinks you are lactose intolerant when you tell them you have a food allergy. Then when you tell them your food allergy, they ask you if you can have dairy products.

187. Your sandwich bread has crumbled to a million pieces before you were halfway done with your sandwich.

188. You wish your local health food store offered a shopper's card like large supermarkets because you are there so often.

189. You have asked your local health food store owner to carry certain products just for you.

190. You have ever gone into detail about what gluten does to your body when someone asks you what happens if you eat it.

191. You are tired of explaining to everyone why you cannot have gluten!

192. If you want the makers of Combos to substitute their wheat flour.

193. If you've become a master at ingredient substitution

194. You and your SO compare turds to see whose look healthier (now that's LOVE)

195. You know that natural flavors are NOT your friend.

196. You've actually pooped your own couch (which I suppose is better than someone else's couch

197. You know IBS means "I'm basically stumped"

198. The first thing you do when you hear company is coming over is go check the toilets to make sure they are clean underneath the toilet seat!

199. You burst into tears because your friends go out of there way to prepare you a safe meal

200. Constipation is no longer embarrassing to talk about

201. You become overly-protective of the few gluten-free items in your fridge, and fight for ownership of them

202. You have explained to waiters at least 100 times, that you are not allergic to meat, but to WHEAT

203. You explain (to disbelieving listeners) that you are allergic to beer, pizza, and apple pie, but ARE American by birth

204. You've ever blamed a fart on the cat

205. You have to explain to the bakery clerk that white flour is made of wheat

206. When you are driving down the highway and the tallest plant you see is only 2 feet high and this scares you.

207. You only make long trips in vehicle at night along the back roads.

208. You have a roll of TP in every vehicle and a change of clothes.

209. You know you are Celiac when you go to the store and make them bring out the ingredients to all the dressings on the salads.

210. You grill people who work at restaurants as to what is in something, how it is made, can it be made in a clean pan. By the time you are done they look like a deer caught in the headlights.

211. You find shampoo/conditioner, food that you can eat at the store in a restaurant and you get all excited and do the "happy dance."

212. You can spend 2 hours in a grocery store, on your cell phone, waiting on hold with company 1-800 numbers!

213. You ever felt like giving the people at Kraft a great big hug!

214. You have to restrain yourself from choking the person who is telling you about how hard it is to stick to their atkins diet!

215. You pay $11 for a six-pack of beer, even though it might explode in your fridge before you get a chance to drink it.

216. EVERY time to see the letters "G.F.", in any context whatsoever (even one that does not relate to food or gluten at all in any way) you get all excited and think those letters mean "gluten-free" (that's happened to me a couple times in the past few weeks).

217. You know you are a celiac mom, when in addition to "knowing your kids friends" you have to send over a notebook of gluten information, a bag of food, homemade playdough, homemade fingerpaints, and have a sit down meeting with other kids' parents, before every single play date and answer questions like "she can have sugar cookies right?. what about white bread?, what about whole wheat pasta?"

218. You read the ingrdients on a bottled water for "hidden gluten"

219. You try to explain to your friends about www.glutenfreeforum.com as an "online support group" and they laugh at you and call you "weird"

220. You wish you could become the person in charge of ordering gluten free items for the grocery store (cause you know what Celiacs really want -- compared to the current person/idiot)

221. You think you could open a gluten free brewery and make it work (instead of having exploding bottles)

222. You wonder if your carpet cleaner has gluten (gotta watch those fumes)

223. Your other "irrational fears" have taken a backseat since diagnosis

224. You think you could open a gluten-free restaurant and could be successful

225. You have recommended the book "Dangerous Grains" to anyone who obviously does not understand celiac disease or gluten intolerance and wondered why they refused to read it...

226. You burn out more than 2 motors in one year in your bathroom vent fan.

227. Your toilet is sooo important to you that you become your own plumber when it breaks down (I just replaced the flapper tank ball a few weeks ago!)

228. You insist on a certain quality of toilet paper like other people insist on a certain thread count of sheets.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You insist on a certain quality of toilet paper like other people insist on a certain thread count of sheets.

hey, my husband does that, I think it's a crohns thing too. :P


Gluten free since 5/06

mommy to Annika(3) gluten free since 5/04 and Kathryn (5) gluten free since 10/05

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay so I have another one, my girls and I were playing candy land and my 2 year old says "for pretend this is gluten free candy land, so my person doesn't get sick"

cute yeah?

okay so

You might be celiac if............

even in your imagination you try to find gluten free alternatives........


Gluten free since 5/06

mommy to Annika(3) gluten free since 5/04 and Kathryn (5) gluten free since 10/05

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok, 2 more...

1. ..... you don't know what a "normal" bowel movement is.

:lol:

This is the funniest thing I've read so far on this board. At this point I'm only guessing I have a gluten intolerance, but we had a running joke about that sort of thing in my family. My great grandmother died from colon cancer, so my grandmother (her daughter) was obsessed with "BMs" and intestinal health. She always asked about that any time someone didn't feel well.

It got to the point where someone would say they had a sore throat or stubbed their toe, and we'd reply, "Well did you have a BM today?" :)


Gluten free since Feb 2006, Dairy and Soy free since 2009

Anemic off and on since 2003

Negative tTG Ab, IgA, Gliadin Ab IgA, wheat allergy (IgE) blood tests (Feb 2006)

Positive wheat allergy skin test(Apr 2006)and dietary response (Feb 2006)

Celiac grandmother (Dx in 1940s, "grew out of it")

Training for my first triathlon to support the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America.

~Amy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You might be celiac if:

Your neighbourhood drug store knows NEVER to run out of stock on Preparation H Anti-Itch Cream. The consequences would not be pretty........ One of the few things that would make me "LOSE IT"!!!!!!!

Hugs.

Karen


Karen

positive bloodwork, positive biopsy

Celiac, collagenous colitis, hypothyroidism

endometriosis (at age 20)

spinal stenosis (early 20's)

Biopsy August 2006 confirmed complete villous atrophy despite being gluten-free for years and bloodwork within range showing compliance with diet. Doctor has confirmed diagnosis of Refractory Celiac Sprue.

Endoscopy also showed numerous stomach ulcers, have started taking Losec.

Mother to Eileen 13 yrs

Rhiannon 8 yrs

Daniel & Connor 6 yr twin boys......

"Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us."

Orison Swett Marden

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

-- Victor Borge

"An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh."

Tom Nansbury

"Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac."

Unknown

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

These are great - my cheeks hurt from laughing. I really needed a laugh tonight.

You might be a Celiac if:

you have ever looked in someone else's grocery cart and thought - I couldn't eat at their house.

you have screamed from across the room "No double dipping" at an office party.

you have been asked "so are you still dieting?"

you have been asked while everyone is eating "what are the symptoms of Celiac?" and have been really tempted to tell them all the details in their disgusting glory.

Very funny!! Hard to pick a favorite but I have to say if I have one more person say, "Oh so it's like being on Atkins." I swear I'm going to scream (either that or make them eat a piece of gluten-free bread)!!

making them eat a whole slice of untoasted bread should do it! :lol:


“This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi I Canary! It's your cyber neighbour!!!

That's why I resurrected this thread, I figured everybody could use a good laugh right about now......

Hugs!

Karen


Karen

positive bloodwork, positive biopsy

Celiac, collagenous colitis, hypothyroidism

endometriosis (at age 20)

spinal stenosis (early 20's)

Biopsy August 2006 confirmed complete villous atrophy despite being gluten-free for years and bloodwork within range showing compliance with diet. Doctor has confirmed diagnosis of Refractory Celiac Sprue.

Endoscopy also showed numerous stomach ulcers, have started taking Losec.

Mother to Eileen 13 yrs

Rhiannon 8 yrs

Daniel & Connor 6 yr twin boys......

"Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us."

Orison Swett Marden

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

-- Victor Borge

"An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh."

Tom Nansbury

"Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac."

Unknown

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
These are great - my cheeks hurt from laughing. I really needed a laugh tonight.

You might be a Celiac if:

you have ever looked in someone else's grocery cart and thought - I couldn't eat at their house.

you have screamed from across the room "No double dipping" at an office party.

you have been asked "so are you still dieting?"

you have been asked while everyone is eating "what are the symptoms of Celiac?" and have been really tempted to tell them all the details in their disgusting glory.

making them eat a whole slice of untoasted bread should do it! :lol:

Make them eat rice bread and only rice bread. That should cure them.

These are great - my cheeks hurt from laughing. I really needed a laugh tonight.

You might be a Celiac if:

you have ever looked in someone else's grocery cart and thought - I couldn't eat at their house.

you have screamed from across the room "No double dipping" at an office party.

you have been asked "so are you still dieting?"

you have been asked while everyone is eating "what are the symptoms of Celiac?" and have been really tempted to tell them all the details in their disgusting glory.

making them eat a whole slice of untoasted bread should do it! :lol:

Make them eat rice bread and only rice bread. That should cure them.

When they ask what are the symptoms I ask them if they want the first 200 or would they just like 5 minutes worth. Then they ask what would happen if I eat gluten, I tell them it is graphic, their eyes pop and they look terrified and say, "I never knew it was serious."


Rusla

Asthma-1969

wheat/ dairy allergies, lactose/casein intolerance-1980

Multiple food, environmental allergies

allergic to all antibiotics except sulpha

Rheumitoid arthritis,Migraine headaches,TMJ- 1975

fibromyalgia-1995

egg allergy-1997

msg allergy,gall bladder surgery-1972

Skin Biopsy positive DH-Dec.1 2005, confirmed celiac disease

gluten-free totally since Nov. 28, 2005

Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism- 2005

Pernicious Anemia 1999 (still anemic on and off.)

Osteoporosis Aug. 2006

Creative people need maids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites