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SaraKat

How Do You Handle Going To A Wedding?

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I have a wedding coming up in November and I was just diagnosed. I hate to be the picky one or complainer, but do I tell the bride or just wait till I get there and tell the waitress/er at our table that I need my dinner plain? I'd much rather not get the bride involved if at all possible.

What do you do?


Positive TTG IGA blood test 8/13/10

Endoscopy confirmed 8/31/10

Started gluten-free diet 9/1/10

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If it's a formal wedding and you want a gluten free meal you will have to request it in advance. That means getting the bride involved or finding out who her caterer is and calling them to ask about gluten free options yourself. I highly doubt you will be able to just ask for a "plain meal" at the reception and get safe food. I used to serve for a caterer that did weddings. If it's plated and served, usually the meals have been completed and on trays/carts by the time the people start arriving. If it's a buffet the food is already in warmers in the kitchen if not out on the buffet. And unless the wedding is at a restaurant currently open for business for other customers, there's not going to be extra food options kicking around the kitchen. The place I worked for brought all their own food to the location to prepare for each event. There's no way we could accommodate someone at the last minute.

Of course if you really don't want to get the bride involved you can just eat before the reception or bring a purse with some food in it that you can eat.


A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatred. Proverbs 15:17 (CEV)

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I have a wedding coming up next month. The affair is catered and what I did was get the name of the caterer and contacted them. I also wrote gluten-free dinner on my RSVP when I sent it in. Do talk to the bride and get the name from her. Let her know that you will contact them yourself and not to worry about it. If the caterer can not accomodate you simply eat before you go. Chances are that there will be only a limited menu available so last minute would not be likely to work.


Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying

"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)

Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002

Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis

All bold resoved or went into remission in time with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002

 Gene Test Aug 2007

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

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wow, lots of upcoming weddings -- I have one too. I'm planning just to eat before I go and then take something with me to snack on. If mine was a formal sit down dinner, I think I would pack a fancy meal for myself and then ask for a clean plate. I wonder if that could be construed as an insult if the bride wasn't forewarned? I can be pretty stealthy though. B)

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we went to our friends' daughter's (and son in law:)) wedding reception and they were absolutely over the top. the caterer helped to serve and rattled off every ingredient in everything i considered eating. they even had smoked salmon (very lightly seasoned, sauce on the side!) extra just to make sure i had something they were sure i could eat! fruit salad (chef jeff is a strict no-cross-contaminater!) green salad with oil/vinegar/herbs of course i didn't eat the bread or cake. oh, and roast beef yummmmmmm very delicious. if you live in the east tennessee area (knoxville) i highly recommend the brickyard barbecue in powell. don't let the name fool you, the guy was very professional and detail oriented. i bet he could do a whole gluten-free event and nobody would even know all the food was 'safe' - if you say 'gluten-free' people run away screaming lol - anyway, it was nice to eat out (first time!) and have a good experience :)))


arlene

misdiagnosed for 25 years!
just as i was getting my affairs in order to die of malnutrition...
gluten free 7/2010
blood test negative
celiac confirmed by endoscopy 9/2010

 

only YOU can prevent forest fires - smokey t. bear

 

have a nice day :)

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

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Honestly, I would eat before I go and just enjoy the company and festivities of the ceremony. Personally, planning a wedding is so overwelming I wouldn't want to put added stress on the bride but that is just me :)


Started exhibiting symptoms 1979

DXed IBS 1987

Self Dx Gluten sensitive via elimination diet July 2010

Gluten free since July 12 2010

Carb&Sugar light August 2010

experimenting with being Grain light

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Honestly, I would eat before I go and just enjoy the company and festivities of the ceremony. Personally, planning a wedding is so overwelming I wouldn't want to put added stress on the bride but that is just me :)

oh, i was prepared, trust me :) i had a cooler full of redbridge and ahi tuna w/sesame noodles :) (father of the bride said he wanted what i brought lol) chex mix & larabars. but i took a leap of faith and ate the food. the chef walked me through all ingredients otherwise i probably wouldn't have. also met another celiac there who noticed i was drinking redbridge. it was so nice to talk with someone who knew EXACTLY what i was talking about face to face!! her boyfriend was so sweet and excited about learning to cook for her :) she didn't eat the food there (i met her at the end of the reception) and was surprised that i had and wasn't camped out in the bathroom. great to commiserate, though. we laughed about what people think we can/cannot eat. lol we should have a secret handshake :D


arlene

misdiagnosed for 25 years!
just as i was getting my affairs in order to die of malnutrition...
gluten free 7/2010
blood test negative
celiac confirmed by endoscopy 9/2010

 

only YOU can prevent forest fires - smokey t. bear

 

have a nice day :)

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

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My best friend is getting married in less then a month...for one I have to travel from Minnesota...my safe zone, to New Mexico where I grew up, but know nothing of gluten free friendly places! And, I told her just not to worry about me for food and I would fend for myself before/after the wedding stuff. She replied by telling me that was ridiculous and asked what I COULD have. Ha...well it's hard to explain to people who know nothing about this disease! Then she continued to tell me I should be able to cheat this one time since it's her wedding. So...that's my story, lol...some people just won't/don't understand no matter how much you try to explain it. I told her if she wanted to see me for the rest of the trip that wouldn't be an option, unless she wanted to visit me in the bathroom. I will probably just give my boyfriend my plate of food, since I have no idea what is going to happen! I will eat a good meal before..and probably be starving after, but I will just bring a Snickers to eat when I get hungry :)


Diagnosed with Celiac Disease November 2009

2011:

Anemia is gone for the first time in my life, Yay!

Teeth are cleaner according to my dentist (interesting, eh???)

Eyesight has improved for the first time in my life (another interesting thing!)

**My advice to the newly diagnosed** HANG IN THERE!! It gets better and is so worth the seemly long road to getting better. Just be happy you can make yourself healthy with a diet change, and not have to take pills for the rest of your life. :D

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Depends on your relationship to the wedding couple.

We will be attending a wedding and I didn't want to bother the bride, so I contacted the groom's mother (that was easy because she is my sister) and got the name of the caterer. Then I called the caterer and said I had some questions about the menu for such-and-such wedding on Oct 2. The caterer gave me an abrupt "and who, exactly, are you?" and I told them I was the aunt of the groom and had a son who needed gluten-free, blah blah and they were very polite and went through the menu and ingredients with me so I got the info I needed.

Good to know that caterers are not giving out secret wedding menus to strangers!!

So if you know the bride's parents you might contact them, but if not I would have contacted the bride and told her I would take care of what I needed, I just wanted to know who the caterer is. Based on calling them, you can decide if you think it is safe to eat there or you need to make other arrangements.

As you say, the bride has plenty to worry about, and however well-meaning, some things might get lost in the translation anyway.

Good luck!


Bev

Mom of Garrett - Mizzou freshman; diagnosed Jan 2005

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You've received very good advice from this thread.

I was a Catering Manager for five years and handled numerous weddings at a resort hotel.

Every bride wants their wedding to be perfect in every way for everyone who attends, and so does her mother. It would be good to e-mail or phone ahead to get the name and number of the caterer, then proceed with your decisions based on that conversation, as was previously suggested.

Last minute requests present a SNAFU. Pre-planning is a blessing.

Vegetarians and Kosher Jews have no stigma whatsoever associated with ordering special meals, and neither should we, especially since our consequenses are much more dire if we eat what is forbidden. At any rate, perhaps a vegetarian or Kosher substitute will work, or a fruit plate, but you'll only know after you talk to the caterer. I hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding!

The last wedding reception I attended was great, without any repercussions, except a mild hang over from drinking too much potato vodka!


Positive improvement from elimination diet. Mother dx'd by Mayo Clinic in late 1980s. Negative blood tests and Upper & Lower GI biopsy. Parathyroidectomy 12/09. Recurring high calcium level 4/10. Gluten-free 4/10. Soy & Dairy Free 6/10. Corn free 7/10. Grain free except rice 8/10. Legume free 6/11. Fighting the battle of the battle within myself, and I'm going to win!

As of 2/12, tolerating dairy, corn, legumes and some soy, but I limit soy to tamari sauce or modest soy additives. Won't ever try quinoa again!

Discoid Lupus from skin biopsy 2011, discovered 2/12 when picking up medical records. Systemic Lupus Dx 6/12. Shingles 10/12.

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Thanks everyone. I think I will call the place directly and tell them I don't want to bother the bride and see what they say. The wedding is at a yacht club so there is a restaurant there, it won't just be the wedding/catered food. Hopefully they can just make something plain for me.


Positive TTG IGA blood test 8/13/10

Endoscopy confirmed 8/31/10

Started gluten-free diet 9/1/10

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I am attending a wedding tonight and of course didnt even think about the food- just ordered the prime rib and said eh- i guess ill eat before- luckily at the bridal shower we got on the subject (of course since they had gourmet mini pizza things and all sorts of gluten filled desserts everyone assumed since i wasnt eating it i was either anorexic or celiac lol!!) Anywho- the bride said she would call and add on a gluten free plate bc she has a couple cousins who have to be on the diet! Sooo more to the point- you never know who already asked and it for it and its probably not as big of a deal as you think! Like the previous person said- the bride wants a perfect day and if she sees you sitting with a full plate (or no plate for that matter) she will probably be more concerned with that than if you asked in the first place!! Have fun! I know I will tonight :D

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