I Feel Like People Are Irritated With Me...

[Jenn624]

I may just be oversensitive, but I feel like people get annoyed by me needing to know ingredients and not going out to eat at certain places.

I have a bridal shower to go to and just messaged the bride to ask about the menu. I can feel her rolling her eyes.

I am overreacting. I know that. I already told my husband I am worried about Easter dinner at my in-laws. He insists it will be okay and I just have to tell them what I can eat. I know differently. She couldn't understand at New Year's why I couldn't have the corn casserole when it only had ONE TABLESPOON on flour. I tried to remind my husband how his mom cooks...it will be things with tons of ingredients and I will end up sick. He naively disagrees.

We are having a luncheon at the school where I teach and it's a covered dish. I looked at the menu and it's going to be slim pickings for me once again.

I never realized how much our world revolves around food...

Jenn

[Newtoitall]

I may just be oversensitive, but I feel like people get annoyed by me needing to know ingredients and not going out to eat at certain places.

I have a bridal shower to go to and just messaged the bride to ask about the menu. I can feel her rolling her eyes.

I am overreacting. I know that. I already told my husband I am worried about Easter dinner at my in-laws. He insists it will be okay and I just have to tell them what I can eat. I know differently. She couldn't understand at New Year's why I couldn't have the corn casserole when it only had ONE TABLESPOON on flour. I tried to remind my husband how his mom cooks...it will be things with tons of ingredients and I will end up sick. He naively disagrees.

We are having a luncheon at the school where I teach and it's a covered dish. I looked at the menu and it's going to be slim pickings for me once again.

I never realized how much our world revolves around food...

Jenn

I feel the exact same way, and the fact is people are insensitive, they don't care if they don't have to deal with it generally, but it helps weed out the baddies =D..least that's how I see it.. like... my aunts went way out of the way to prepare a totally gluten free meal for me just so I could eat out for once lol

ooh right forgot my point, no your not being over sensitive, you have to be hella paranoid, it's a way of life now, just be all like.. "Yeah I'm paranoid DEAL > *Rawr* ?helpfull? =o

[Jenn624]

I feel the exact same way, and the fact is people are insensitive, they don't care if they don't have to deal with it generally, but it helps weed out the baddies =D..least that's how I see it.. like... my aunts went way out of the way to prepare a totally gluten free meal for me just so I could eat out for once lol

ooh right forgot my point, no your not being over sensitive, you have to be hella paranoid, it's a way of life now, just be all like.. "Yeah I'm paranoid DEAL > *Rawr* ?helpfull? =o

That was really nice of your aunts!

I see you went gluten-free at Christmas. I did too!!! 12/26 to be exact!!!

Jenn

[ravenwoodglass]

Sometimes the best thing we can do is to bring our own food or eat before we go and just enjoy the company. Don't let people guilt you into making yourself sick it just isn't worth it.

[GlutenFreeManna]

I may just be oversensitive, but I feel like people get annoyed by me needing to know ingredients and not going out to eat at certain places.

I have a bridal shower to go to and just messaged the bride to ask about the menu. I can feel her rolling her eyes.

I am overreacting. I know that. I already told my husband I am worried about Easter dinner at my in-laws. He insists it will be okay and I just have to tell them what I can eat. I know differently. She couldn't understand at New Year's why I couldn't have the corn casserole when it only had ONE TABLESPOON on flour. I tried to remind my husband how his mom cooks...it will be things with tons of ingredients and I will end up sick. He naively disagrees.

We are having a luncheon at the school where I teach and it's a covered dish. I looked at the menu and it's going to be slim pickings for me once again.

I never realized how much our world revolves around food...

Jenn

I know this is hard and I'm sorry your family is not yet understanding how careful you need to be. Why don't you take a different approach to eating safely for a while? When I go to things like baby showers I don't plan on eating the food there unless I am close enoguh to the person to help prepare the food. If it is around meal time I eat before I go or I take a safe snack with me in my purse. I have the same problem currently with Easter and I've been gluten free for over a year. I still don't know what I'm going to do this year since I can't have ham (I'm allergic) and there will be milk in the mashed potatoes and bread cumbs in everything else. I will probably end up bringing my own food. Last year for Easter I made a special salad and a dessert I could eat and that was ALL I could safely eat. On top of that, I had to take one helping of salad first and then not touch it because the tongs got used on something else and cc'd my safe salad. This year if I have to make my own food I will just make a plate for myself to take to dinner instead of bringing things to be shared. It is a pain, but you really can't expect everyone to always look out for your food issues. You need to be proactive and soemtimes that means taking the path of least resistance by just saying you prefer to eat your own food. If people are offended by that then they are the ones with the problem, not you.

[iamsarar]

Hi Jenn... I know what you mean!! The people around me are tired of me asking what is in it or I get co-workers bringing cakes and stuff and going out of the way to sat "haha, you can't have any!" Or I say something like " I have a question...." and they interrupt and say " Let me guess....does this have gluten in it" Real nasty like.

This is what I have started doing. I either take a couple dishes of food I can eat to share with the others around me or I have even just taken a whole plate of food just for me and said up front " I am sorry if this offends you but it just isn't worth it to take a change and end up sick for 4 days"

My Aunt went out of her way to fix a gluten free brunch and had the gluten free waffles on the same plate as the regular waffles. People just dont understand.

Tonight we were invited to friends for pizza and salad. I said I would bring dessert so I could make something gluten free and I am also making a gluten free pizza to take.

Hang in there! You matter and your health comes first!

[captaincrab55]

Jenn624, Trust me, some people will never, "Get it".. You may need to take an extra dish to the covered dish event, just make sure you get in the food line first... We have a Social Disability and need to make the best of it..

[jilliebear]

I may just be oversensitive, but I feel like people get annoyed by me needing to know ingredients and not going out to eat at certain places.

I have a bridal shower to go to and just messaged the bride to ask about the menu. I can feel her rolling her eyes.

I am overreacting. I know that. I already told my husband I am worried about Easter dinner at my in-laws. He insists it will be okay and I just have to tell them what I can eat. I know differently. She couldn't understand at New Year's why I couldn't have the corn casserole when it only had ONE TABLESPOON on flour. I tried to remind my husband how his mom cooks...it will be things with tons of ingredients and I will end up sick. He naively disagrees.

We are having a luncheon at the school where I teach and it's a covered dish. I looked at the menu and it's going to be slim pickings for me once again.

I never realized how much our world revolves around food...

Jenn

Hi Jenn,

I felt exactly the same way when I cut gluten out of my diet, and I was miserable and never went out. I totally recommend reading Open Original Shared Link. She talks a lot about attitude, and in turn it totally changed my attitude towards my allergy. It gave me a much needed confidence boost.

The last straw was when I was out for dinner at a fancy restaurant with my family. My sister was in a grumpy mood, but we were having a good chat. When I ordered my dinner I advised the waiter of my allergy and asked if I could get dinner there - a gluten-free dish with no cross contamination. He said he would check and then never came back until he came to top up our drinks before our dishes arrived. He didn't acknowledge my sister or I at all, so my sister just took things in to her own hands. She stood up and called him (quite loudly) back to the table. She reminded him of my allergy and the request I made earlier, and it was clear that he hadn't even bothered. My sister tore in to him, explaining my food allergies and what happens if I eat something that is contaminated, relating it to someone with a peanut allergy. The waiter walked away shamefully and the dinner ended up being great, and I was ok.

I started thinking about the whole situation and the attitude changes I had been reading about, and this incident just made me think - if my sister can take my allergy in to her hands so confidently, then I should be able to as well... after all it is MY allergy. This just reinforced the way that I was beginning to reframe my mind and attitude.

I think that we all go through this as we learn to adapt to a new diet and a new lifestyle. I don't care if eyes are being rolled - I bet they wouldn't eat something if they knew it would make them sick. I always make sure to have some food with me - even if it's just bringing crackers for dips. If I am eating in a place that I know that I will get glutened no matter what, I am totally fine to bring my own dinner. You just need to figure out what your comfort level is and start there... the more you practice, the easier it gets!

[CarolinaKip]

I may just be oversensitive, but I feel like people get annoyed by me needing to know ingredients and not going out to eat at certain places.

I have a bridal shower to go to and just messaged the bride to ask about the menu. I can feel her rolling her eyes.

I am overreacting. I know that. I already told my husband I am worried about Easter dinner at my in-laws. He insists it will be okay and I just have to tell them what I can eat. I know differently. She couldn't understand at New Year's why I couldn't have the corn casserole when it only had ONE TABLESPOON on flour. I tried to remind my husband how his mom cooks...it will be things with tons of ingredients and I will end up sick. He naively disagrees.

We are having a luncheon at the school where I teach and it's a covered dish. I looked at the menu and it's going to be slim pickings for me once again.

I never realized how much our world revolves around food...

Jenn

Hugs! I know a lot of people around me don't get it either, or they think I'm being OCD! they don't get CC at all! My sister went to great lenghts to make a turkey gluten-free for me, however she had it beside the stuffing! Right then and there we had a lesson on CC. Now all the gluten-free stuff is first and by itself. I'm 10 months gluten-free and I didn't get to eat much at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I do plan to make my gluten-free greenbean cass. deviled eggs, bring my own grilled herb chicken and a gluten-free dessert for Easter at my sis house. Perhaps some gluten-free bread as well. I know this means more cooking for me, but I will have safe things to eat. At the shower, I'd eat at home and go enjoy the shower. Sometimes it can get you down/sad, but don't let it. I would make a gluten-free covered dish to take and perhaps even get your portion out at home. I also made gluten-free breads for my co workers to try. My grade level does lunch together once a month and I baked two types of bread for them to share. Perhaps you can make that for the covered dish as well. Hugs with dealing with the MIL...

[Celiac-lou]

Sometimes the best thing we can do is to bring our own food or eat before we go and just enjoy the company. Don't let people guilt you into making yourself sick it just isn't worth it.

I agree! I just bring my own food so that I don't have to endure any negativity towards my needs. It makes it all the more special when people DO ask what they can bring for you or are careful enough to label dishes at a potluck or get together etc. I found that it really is no different then when I was vegetarian for 13 years prior to being diagnosed or the special considerations I need for the few things I am allergic to. Look out for number one and enjoy being with other people.

[Jenn624]

Well, I survived the bridal shower, but there wasn't much for me to eat. Luckily I took some advice and did eat a bowl of cereal before I went. There was fruit and cupcakes for dessert, so my friends took both and gave me the fruit. That's all I ate. I did have a moment when everyone was eating their meal that I felt tears well up in my eyes. I silently talked myself down by reminding myself it's only food. That was hard.

Jenn

[kareng]

If I know what they are having, I try to bring the same thing for myself. Like a gluten-free cupcake to the shower or my own pasta to a football banquet. Some people may not notice that your choc cupcake is different than the other choc cupcakes. Even when I bring a gluten-free dish to share, I usually bring my own separate serving. Then I don't have to push to the front of the line or worry that someone got crumbs in it.

[hockeymomofceliacchild]

I may just be oversensitive, but I feel like people get annoyed by me needing to know ingredients and not going out to eat at certain places.

I have a bridal shower to go to and just messaged the bride to ask about the menu. I can feel her rolling her eyes.

I am overreacting. I know that. I already told my husband I am worried about Easter dinner at my in-laws. He insists it will be okay and I just have to tell them what I can eat. I know differently. She couldn't understand at New Year's why I couldn't have the corn casserole when it only had ONE TABLESPOON on flour. I tried to remind my husband how his mom cooks...it will be things with tons of ingredients and I will end up sick. He naively disagrees.

We are having a luncheon at the school where I teach and it's a covered dish. I looked at the menu and it's going to be slim pickings for me once again.

I never realized how much our world revolves around food...

Jenn

it is so true our world does revolve around food and no you are NOT being too sensitive. Most people don't get it. I have just started my son on the gluten free diet and have to ask many questions. Sometimes I think my family must be sick to death of hearing me go on about what I've learned etc. The first year is the hardest according to my brother who also has celiac.

I feel very strongly about doing what is best for my son and what will make him healthy and he doesn't even get sick from eating it. (He does however get the rash ) I just remind myself of the damage it is doing on the inside too.

You don't have someone doing your shopping, meals and ordering for you (as nice as that would be ) so you have to be your own best support. Who cares what people think and just remember you are important and how you feel is very important. Good luck with this

[Marie1976]

I have not cut out gluten yet (waiting for endo) but I can relate because I've been a vegan for years. This is what I've learned:

1. Some people just don't get it. They eat whatever they want and they don't understand allergies/sensitivities/ethical choices. They're not being mean on purpose; they're just uneducated about your issue.

2. Some people are just a-holes. You can always count on the existence of a few insensitive people who will challenge you or mock you or otherwise be just plain rude.

The fact is, it is YOUR life and if people don't get it, or they choose to be rude, you should stand up for yourself. I never wanted to offend anyone so I just took people's interrogations and abuse and I was oversensitive to people who just wanted to know more about it (my vegan diet). I had anxiety before every event in which food would be involved. Eventually it occurred to me that I was confident in my choice to be vegan, so I needed to start acting like it!

I thought the gluten thing would be easier for people to understand -- it's a health issue! -- but, like you, I am discovering the same kind of attitudes. And that is just from telling people about it. I haven't even started the diet yet!

I know it's hard but hang in there, and try not to take it personally. Have an explanation ready and don't let people push you around.

[iamsarar]

I Thought of this post today when I was at work. I had over heard some women talking about me and my "Fad" diet and how I wanted to just feel special and make it all about me. I couldn't believe it! When it comes to food I have to make it about me. SOoooo frustrating!

Thanks for Listening!

[hammergirl]

I couldn't agree with you more...this happens to me EVERYWHERE. The best is when people think you're just complaining, or being picky/high-maintenance/whiny about the food, or that you just want to feel 'special' about yourself and make everyone feel sorry for you. I live one a college campus meal plan, and the food choices are ALWAYS slim pickings (I've been living on frozen dinners and pastries for the last six months), and whenever I ask people to simply change their gloves when preparing my food, I get weird looks from the cooks and the other students waiting in line behind me.

I feel so discriminated against I guess, I would love to see the reactions that those same people would have if they saw what happens when I don't ask for clean gloves and new ingredients...it hurts a lot

[Mahee]

I would also suggest what many others have: to eat before and consider bringing something for yourself. You can even offer to make an entire dish or two for occasions like this, so you at least have something you can eat.

I would also say to be assertive. I know that for some people this is easier said than done, but people need to understand that this isn't a lifestyle choice, it's a medical treatment. For people that you are close with, such as your mother-in-law, I would print off information that shows the medical reality of the damage that gluten causes. Make a little booklet and drop it off to her. When I went vegan, my mother was not happy with me at all. We fought about it a lot, and it wasn't until I printed off information about the treatment of animals on modern farms that she backed off.

[Monael]

I have only been gluten free for probably a month or less, so I don't know how this will be long term. Does it seem weird that I don't even want to tell anyone about not eating gluten? Well, besides my kids, my boyfriend and close friends. I just don't want to deal with the issues I have seen come up on here. Perhaps that is cowardly.

Today we had a company meeting and the organizer brought a bunch of cookies. I just didn't eat them. No one even noticed. Or if they did they might have just thought I was watching my calories.

I am wondering how I will deal with this long term though. We usually have a few family bbq's during the summer. And Thanksgiving might be hard. But if I offer to do the turkey, and then I use gluten free bread for the stuffing, it might work out.

I don't know, I guess I am just rambling. It sucks that gluten is so prevalent in our society that we have to worry about so much. But at this point, I just don't want to have to hear what anyone thinks about what I eat.

[mushroom]

For bbq's you can always put your meat on a piece of foil and ask the bbq-er to let you turn it. I know, it will draw attention to you that you don't want, but it is a way to be safe. There are, unfortunately, some occasions when the issue just has to be dealt with. Many celiacs find that hosting family dinners is the way to go. The guests can bring the side dishes and you can always prepare small servings for you/your family to match their contributions. This does require that everyone pitch in on cleanup and setting the table, etc., so you don't end up doing all the work

[cap6]

Hi Jenn ~ I so understand and have had it both ways. At first friends didn't get it & kept trying to cook or give me their version of gluten-free food. Finally I just told them them that the more I heal the more sensitive I have become. Now they are just used to me bringing my own foods.

On the other hand my sister in law took my celiac into her own hands & would speak up for me in restaurants & to friends, before I had a chance, often giving misinformation. Finally I had to tell her nicely it's my disease & I need to handle it.

Hmm.. seem like it is too much help or not enough!

[monika]

I did have a moment when everyone was eating their meal that I felt tears well up in my eyes. I silently talked myself down by reminding myself it's only food. That was hard.

Jenn

I had a similar experience. It's been about a month that I have started and it is so hard! Usually me and friend would go out to eat every thursday. So we decided to do the same a week ago and it was so hard becasue the resteraunt didn't have anything that I could eat. I ended up having some corn tortilla chips. As I looked around I could see eveyone enjoyig themselves and I started to cry. It was horrible. I felt as if I was not normal and I know it's just food, but it's the fact that one is being deprived of a choice. We just need to remember that we have the ability to create our own options.

Have a gluten free party and just go all out with foods you can eat and maybe then people will understand

[kota]

I completely understand! I can sometimes 'feel' the eyes rolling from my husband when I talk about CC and food issues now. But, there is hope to be found: the other day we took a picnic and I made myself a gluten-free sandwich - far from his bread crumbs and whatever else he was making. Soon after eating, that familiar stomach pain starting to creep up and I felt pretty lousy and completely irritable and tired the rest of the day. I couldn't figure out where I got glutened - until today. My husband made himself a sandwich this afternoon and a little light bulb went off in his head and he said "OMG I know why you got sick - I used the mayo!" He did apologize, and, while it sucks that I got sick - I'm glad that I told him as soon as I felt off and I'm thankful it was HIM who 'connected the dots' for once.

All that to say that I think it can get better in time - especially with those nearest and dearest to you. Baby steps are still steps in the right direction - or at least that is what I tell myself every day, as we have a long way to go! I still get paranoid eating out and at holidays too - but providing my own food sometimes helps - or else I eat ahead of time so I don't starve miserably while everyone else is gnawing on their bread! Good luck!

[WhenDee]

The very best cook I knew is a fellow Celiac. She always brings something she can eat, and she eats ahead of time, too. And her dishes are SO good that no one thinks about them being gluten free. Last time I went to a party at her house, she had about 8-10 different dishes out - the entire thing was gluten-free - and only those "in the know" would have even known the difference.

She always eats ahead of time, and always brings something she can eat. And people are too busy asking her for the recipe for whatever amazing dish she brought to notice it is gluten-free!

I am striving to be this way - to think about food in a positive way, to learn to cook better, to build my own recipe book that is amazing.

[cap6]

Most of our friends get the "gluten" part but do not get the CC part at all. I always bring my own plate and try to make it close to the same as what is being served so I don't feel so odd. I get around the not eating their food by saying that the more I heal the more sensitive I become. It helps some.

[shadowicewolf]

I had a similar experience. It's been about a month that I have started and it is so hard! Usually me and friend would go out to eat every thursday. So we decided to do the same a week ago and it was so hard becasue the resteraunt didn't have anything that I could eat. I ended up having some corn tortilla chips. As I looked around I could see eveyone enjoyig themselves and I started to cry. It was horrible. I felt as if I was not normal and I know it's just food, but it's the fact that one is being deprived of a choice. We just need to remember that we have the ability to create our own options.

Have a gluten free party and just go all out with foods you can eat and maybe then people will understand

Try being in college where all of the on campus food easy grab stuff is things you can't have. I was walking past a group that had pizza hut personal pizzas and i was just about ready to die right then and there. I wanted it sooooo bad, but decided it was not worth it, which lead to me thinking i could make my own even better so

Yeah it stinks. My grandmother makes homemade bread (the gluteny kind). She was baking a loaf over the weekend and i just about lost it due to the oh so good smell. Again i told myself it wasn't worth it.

One day at a time