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jasonD2

Social Difficulties And Anxiety

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ive obviously come a long way and am very comfortable ordering gluten free food in restaurants under most circumstances, but i still get this jolt of anxiety when people ask to go to dinner or bring food into plans...like every time!

I just got out of an 8 month relationship. she seemed very tolerant and accepting of my dietary needs but i know deep down it became a problem for her in the long run. she will eat anything anywhere and weve been unable to eat out at some of her favorite restaurants together, which i know upset her. on the flip side i had a problem with her diet...she ate mostly junk food and drank a lot (with an alcohol allergy mind you). over time she became a moody angry person and it wasnt even fun to be around her so we ended things and now i have to go back out into the world and find a girl who will be accepting of my diet and not let it bother her if i choose to lead a healthy lifestyle and not eat things that will make me sick. at the very least i need a partner who believes in a healthy active lifestyle, who takes care of her body and mind and all that good stuff. i hope she is out there :)

Still what im getting at is the the fact that its so frustrating to have this condition while attempting to have a normal social life. i feel like people just dont get it and i always wind up looking like the odd ball at the dinner table for asking the server if there is any gluten in the sauce.

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With the warm weather coming up, maybe you could invite people to your place and grill. Try to do things that are not so food involved like a movie or bowling, concert..whatever.

I was reading about this too singleswithfoodallergies.com It's a dating service for people with food allergies like match.com

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I have gone through this, go through this. In time it gets a little easier. Thank god I now have someone where this just isn't an issue. However I remember this dilemma well. It is easy to feel socially ostracized and misunderstood. However there are ways around that plus ways to make it into a virtue.

Like the last poster suggested, think of alternative things to do. One thing I have done is invite x on a walk with a small picnic, but one where I prepared all the food. Going to the zoo, an art museum or gallery, a poetry reading, a play, musical performance are all good alternatives to going out for dinner. And later when you do actually go out to dinner, choose a reliable gluten-free restaurant.

As far as social embarrassment with a possible date, its helpful to remember there are others out there with far worse problems--like diabetes etc.

If someone can't love you for yourself and accept your needs, your really don't want to be with them anyway, do you? In a way having this condition helps one cut to the chase by flushing out selfish, grasping people. It looks like you are on the right road--you want someone who takes care of themselves just as you do for yourself too. Die hard junk food eaters who refuse to consider eating any other way often indicates a poor self image, someone who can't really love any one else since they don't love themselves.

Meanwhile, take up a hobby and pursue it, maybe take a class or two in it or get involved in a club or some kind of artistic or other social events. I have often met the best people that way--including my current significant other.

Bea

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If I know we are going to be going out to a restaurant with a group of people, I call ahead and talk to the manager and get a list of what they have that is gluten free. Then when I arrive at the restaurant, I can order without the waiter or waitress running back to check with the chef in order to try to accommodate me (while inconveniencing our friends).

I really try to downplay my condition - I don't want it to be the center of attention or conversation at every social event where there is food. Sometimes I eat at home first if I'm not sure what restaurant we are going to be going to or what food will be available at a party - then I'll order a house salad with plain broiled chicken and ask for extra lemon.....there are things you can do to minimize the hassle of eating out.

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I think sometimes finding hobbies that also encourage healthy habits/eating can make it more likely you'll find someone who 'gets' eating a certain way.

Sports hobbies, like biking, mountain climbing, hiking clubs - those might do. Health conscious folks there, ya know? Gardening clubs, too, that are focused on organic gardening, at least.

Cooking classes for particular trends or diets, like gluten free, vegetarian, etc... might be a good place to meet people of like minds. :-)

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Cooking classes for particular trends or diets, like gluten free, vegetarian, etc... might be a good place to meet people of like minds. :-)

I think this a great point especially as you will probably be greatly out numbered by the women. :)

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