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Genovieve

New To This And Failing

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Hi all, I just found this site and am really glad to see a free forum where people can support each other. I am 21 years old and I was only diagnosed 3 months ago with Coeliacs and Crohns disease. My Dr has put me on Gluten free diet but refuses to treat the Crohns until the Coeliacs is better.... He has me booked for blood tests that I was supposed to get 2 months ago but I'm a wreck, and completely phobic of needles. I can't sleep knowing I have to get up for it the next day and I'm supposed to forgo any meds or food for 12 hours which I dread as it gets very painful. I was poisoned 3 days ago and have been in pain and vomiting since but on top of all of this all Ive ever wanted is to have kids and my little sister who has never had any interest in family has just told me she is 2 months along. I lost my job, my savings for my wedding(med bills), my ability to eat all my favourite foods and all my dreams of having babies. I need the world to hand me a life line because I'm drowning. All I do is cry and wonder why this had to happen to me? I just wish I could go back to living a normal life or that this was all over and I didn't have to feel this heart ache anymore.

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Oh Genovieve, I wish I could give you a big hug. You sound so sad right now.

I can tell you that it gets better though. You can still get married, have babies, eat great food and be happy. It takes time to regain your strength, rechart your life and get back on track but you can do it.

I lost 3 babies to miscarriages and dealt with years of infertility. I do have 3 children of my own to show for those 13 years of trying but it was a hard road. If I had been diagnosed with celiac before we started building our family my life might have been very different. In some ways you are lucky to be armed with this knowledge before you start trying to conceive. I know how awful it is to want babies so bad and if feels like you are surrounded by pregnant women.

While you are dealing with the poisoning just be gentle with yourself. Rest, drink tea, do things that make you feel happy. If you need to then take meds and sleep it off. Once you are through this bout of glutening it's time to stand up and figure out what comes next. Priority #1 is finding ways to love life again. This is a great time to learn how to cook and bake. All your favourite foods are still out there, you just need to find ways to make them accessible to you. I bought a deep fryer so I can still have fries, tempura, chicken wings and calamari. I was not about to live without my favourites. I bake almost every day and am slowly building a recipe book full of great gluten free cakes and cookies and treats. It makes me happy.

You said you had wedding savings? So you must have a loving and supportive fiance. Enlist his help. Now is the best time for him to step up and prove to you that he is the man you want beside you for the rest of your life. If he can't do that then walk away. You need a solid partner in this journey. Someone who will happily eat gluten free for you and take care of you when you are sick.

So hang in there, it's hard and frustrating and infuriating but you can do it. You deserve to be happy so make it happen.

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I know what its like when I'm not feeling well. It seems that the world is crashing in around me. But it's just an illusion. Everything can be made better. I have simple advice: Zero in on tackling the one problem that can help you cope with all the others - START DOING THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. With or without needles, staying on a strict gluten free diet will head you in the right direction. When you are stronger physically, you'll be able to deal with the other situations, one thing at a time.

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You poor thing. It sounds like you are struggling with some depression. It happens to a lot of celiacs because the gluten poisons our minds as well as our bodies. The shock of the diagnosis and a lifetime diet change is enough of a shock to make you lose your mental balance for a bit. I'm not sure why you think you can't have a child, and I'm guessing you have a fiance if you're saving for a wedding. Lots of people are losing jobs right now, and while it's scary you'll get through it.

When you're depressed, you have to remember that things WILL get better. If you've been this miserable, tearful, and frightened for longer than a few weeks, you probably need to seek help. Sometimes going onto an antidepressant for a few months can pull you out of a bad place, or you might find it helpful to have a few visits with a counselor who can help you get your mental equilibrium back. You also have to take really good care of yourself. Do small things that make you happy. Take a long soak, go for a walk, take refuge in pets, gardening, craftwork, or whatever usually makes you smile.

You also need to talk to your Dr. about your fear of needles. If it's safe and won't change the results of the tests, your Dr. may be able to prescribe you a sedative (like valium) for the night and morning of the bloodwork. You would need someone to drive you to and from the doctors office in the morning. I asked for valium the night before I had surgery because I was scared and knew I wouldn't sleep.

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Hugs! I'm not diagnosed yet, but have an appointment next week to discuss it. My infant son also may have celiac (just too young to know for sure yet) but is gluten-free for now. When we found out my son may have it I was so overwhelmed. I was sad for him because this could be a lifelong thing. But I remember reading somewhere that although the diagnosis seems awful and overwhelming at first it actually is a diagnosis that has a cure...sticking to a gluten-free diet (now I'm only speaking to a celiac diagnosis here because I do not know enough about chron's to address that). A couple things that I have found very helpful are reading books about celiac and seeing if your community has a celiac support group. I enjoyed reading the gluten-free Diet by Elizabeth Hasslebeck (my library had a few copies so I didn't even have to buy it). My community has a great support group that I have gotten good recipes from and met people there that have been able to give support and offer great advice. Many communities have one so maybe your doctor would know if there is one where you live. It's also a great way to get recommendations for good local restaurants that are good with accommodating special diets. My community also has dieticians at the grocery store that can help locate gluten-free options. It does get better though. I used to just want to cry in the grocery store because it felt like gluten was everywhere! I've made a goal for myself to try 1 new gluten-free dish every week or 2. That way I didn't get overwhelmed with cooking all new meals at once- just stick with simple things and try something new 1 night a week.

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