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Mjohnson73

Supportive Spouses?

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Thanks everyone for your input...

I think for now I will continue to have gluten in the house for him, my daughter and my son (verdict is still out on him)... I just got my blood test results back and they came back negative for Celiac but my Rheumatologist said I should stay gluten-free since it is helping and that the tests are not 100% accurate so he is not ruling it out that I have it...

so I think what i will do is have a shelf for my stuff and a shelf for everyone else's stuff...

I might ask him if he would mind doing Gluten Free at dinner just cause it is easier to make one dish than to cook twice...

but the rest of the time he can eat as much as he wants.....

--Maya

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Maya-

I'm neg for celiac disease as well, but was dx with endometriosis last year after a year+ of horrifying pain. All my pain went away the first month gluten free. I stayed gluten-free for four months then went back to gluten since ALL my pain was gone. I was good for about 2 months when all of a sudden the pain came back full force. I read the book Dangerous Grains and considered the quality of my life and decided to go gluten free. Pain disappeared again. So, I support your drs recommendation to remove gluten from your diet to see if it helps your other problem. It may not be as quick a solution as I found mine to be.... but hang in there for a few months and give it time to work. For me it was easy, no accidental glutenings because I've had years of experience to go on having done this with my son for years now. Good luck.

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As one of the few HUSBANDS that read threads like this, I am always tempted to scream at ppl that say stuff so harshly about men....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Eloquently put.

Divorce is pretty extreme but in my case I realized that my brain fog was keeping me from seeing all of the other problems in my marriage. When I went gluten-free and the brain fog lifted I could clearly see that our marriage was by for and about her and only her. Jerks come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities AND genders. When something like celiac disease happens you find out who your freinds are and who you can trust real quick.

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To the men reading this:

I hope you guys don't really think that the women on this board are unhappy with their men or consider them to be jerks incapable of caring or support. My husband is the best support I have. He has been a partner for me in this disease. He knows just as much about it as I do and watches out for my diet on an equal level. He reads the labels on everything. When I'm too shy to ask the hostess about the ingredients in a dish he is already doing it for me. On top of it all he loved me enough to marry me before I was diagnosed, when I was bloated, loosing my hair, and sleeping 14 hours a day. No, I don't consider him an incapable jerk at all. I'm not sure I could be as caring as he is. Let's face it, it's not always easy being married to someone with celiac disease. But here's to the husbands (and wives) that support us in sickness and in health.

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My boyfriend is similar.... he starts talking to restaurants before I do. This weekend we are leaving on a week trip to upstate new york and he has already mapped out where the gluten-free places (chains and places that we found by writing to the various celiac groups in the area. He also mapped out health food stores and called them to see if they have gluten-free food. I've said to him a million times leading up to this trip that I'm afraid I'm going to be glutened and he has assured me I won't be. I actually believe him, with all the research and work he's done for this trip, I'll be as safe as I can be while traveling.

I often travel but its usually to larger cities where I can get to chain gluten-free restaurants or very high end places and this is going to be a trip to a very rural area with smaller mom and pop places. But we are also going to picnic a lot, so we'll see how it goes!

Susan

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I praise of supportive spouses: My husband is a wonderful cook. He has been great about converting our favorite recipes just for me. I am the only one with celiac disease at my house, but our main dishes at dinner are always gluten-free. I stopped making two batches of pasta about a year ago. Sometimes the others have bread that I can't have, but I can have my own bread or eat my special crackers. I would NEVER make them eat gluten-free bread--that would be cruel.

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Instead of appealing to your husband the way you understand it, aproach it like its a game, or a challenge. Go to him with a PROBLEM, that he can FIX. Most men love to FIX things for thier wives. So present "gluten-free" as a issue that needs fixing. Istead of stuff like "Honey YOU CANT DO THATT! AKLSJFLKSA!! DONT YOU CARE???" , try stuff like "Honey, we need to find a way to keep the butter from getting crumbs in it, what do you think we should do?" Once he sees it as a problem that needs his fixing, most of the time most men will love to "fix" it. Thats actually the main way most men show how much love they have.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My husband is definitely the way you describe. He feels best if he can constantly help me or fix my life somehow. The arrangement is working out for both of us. Also, he doesn't have any problems doing any traditional female-type activities to help me out, such as buying me feminine products or doing housework.

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Maya, Ianm and Jnkmnky,

Yay!!! Finally, a message board where people are real. It was so refreshing to read all the posts you put in, and I had to laugh, which really felt GOOD, so please keep up the dialogue, and Maya, please keep posting.

Ianm I applaud you for your forthrightness and courage in taking care of yourself. I, too, recently asked my spouse to leave, and life is so much better now. Jnkmnky I think your openness is great.

Life with Celiac is a challenge, an adventure, and a quest which leads us to always be exploring, searching for new and better foods as we attempt to be healthy, happy, and satisfied human beings.

I really enjoyed all your posts. Thanks! Welda Lou (Celiac since age 8, now 60, with 2 year old grandson, 61 year old sister, and 55 year old cousin recently diagnosed Celiac as well)

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