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Just Need To Vent...


glutenfreemamax2

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast

We are taking tge kids to a Halloween thing today. I've asked 100 times what my husband wanted me to make for dinner. Finally he said "we can just pick up a pizza" now that I'm pissed because he never takes the gluten free seriously, I say " why don't we just pick up a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store?" he didn't respond. I asked again, and he said " it really pisses me off. This whole gluten thing. It should no t bother me but it does. And it bothers me ALOT. I want a pizza you can't eat pizza. I wanted cracker barrel and you can'tit eat there. It really pisses me off". I'm so annoyed!!! You don't think I want a great pizza?!? You don't think I want cracker barrel?!? It makes me so sick. It's not worth it. Sorry is that annoys you $&$ hole.

I feel bad for always complaining about him on here but no one else understands. I didn't choose this. It's not elective. I'm not being difficult. This is my new way of life. I have no problems cooking. Just don't wait until 3:00 to tell me what you want now that I have no time to get anything ready.

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IrishHeart Veteran

I can only imagine that dealing with feeding a family can be extra maddening and arguing with a GE (gluten eating) spouse over it just causes stress that you do not need.

Here's something you may want to try: DO NOT ask WHAT HE WANTS. He answered you honestly, even though it is insensitive and made you upset. He is probably just irritated at the lack of convenience this sometimes presents us all and does not mean to be so difficult.

One thing I learned from my Mom--and this was waaaay before gluten or any other food issue was involved--NEVER give an option to a husband or a kid. :lol:

Just make a weekly menu and stick to it. Don't run a "diner" (allowing for too many options) and don't EVER ask what do you want? It only causes demands and irritation.

Just say with a smile..."we're picking up a rotisserie chicken on the way home."

I have seen my step-daughter do this with her family a million times. Everyone wants something different and EVERY SINGLE TIME, someone gets upset, yelling ensues, someone cries or is sent to her room, husband storms out after yelling his head off and everyone is pissy all evening. That is NUTS!

How about you keep some gluten-free pizzas in the freezer for days like today? Make your life easy, hon!

Sorry you're dealing with this, kiddo. I know it cannot be easy.

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rosetapper23 Explorer

I agree that it's better to just plan interesting, gluten-free dinners for your family. When I lived with my husband and son (we're separated now), if my husband was really craving pizza, he'd order one for himself, and I'd plan something else for my son and me, since we couldn't eat it. When my son moved out, I would pull out a frozen individual-sized gluten-free pizza for myself while my husband enjoyed his delivered pizza.

By the way, are you sure that the rotisserie chicken is gluten free at your supermarket? In my area, only the ones at Whole Foods and Costco are gluten free; all the others are marinated with a sauce that contains gluten.

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kareng Grand Master

Give him 2 choices : would you like chicken with mashed potatoes and green beans or pasta and a salad? Just like you do with small kids. Makes them feel they got to make a choice but what they choose works for you, too.

If he says, " Pick up a pizza." just smile and say saddly "Yeah.....I wish...... Well, chicken or pasta?"

If he did pick up a pizza for him & the kids ( I'm thinking the kids except the baby are OK with that), it would make your life easier. You could just get yourself some leftovers or cereal or something you like.

Oh! Crumb! I just saw the 3 yr old is gluten-free, too. That age he wouldn't be happy watching them eat it. I keep some gluten-free crusts in the freezer, shredded moz, pasta sauce....can easiliy make a pizza for me. You could probably split one with the little one.

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sandsurfgirl Collaborator

Keep a gluten free pizza in the freezer for you and let him pick up pizza for himself.

I use the Gluten Free Pantry French bread and pizza mix for crust. I always keep shredded mozzarella in the freezer (yes it does freeze well) and jars of sauce in the cupboard so I can throw a pizza together at anytime. I also keep pepperoni in the freezer too.

My neighbors came home with Costco pizza and spur of the moment offered it to my husband and daughter. I ran home and had pizza for my son and myself in 20 minutes. Turned on the oven to heat while I mixed up the dough in the mixer. Patted the dough down on cookie sheets, threw on cheese and pepperoni. Went back outside to socialize for 15 minutes while it baked and it was done. I spray my hands all over with oil so I can pat it down without it sticking to my hands so bad. My neighbors tried it and actually liked it better than Costco pizza.

It sounds like your husband has his own grieving process going on and he's having a hard time with giving up the ease of grabbing stuff out as a family. Hopefully you two can talk it through and vent to each other about it. You two need to be open and honest about what you're feeling and find some ways to compromise. Gluten free does take some planning ahead. He needs to feel like he can get his quick pizza when he wants it and you need to feel like your food will be safe. You can find the middle ground.

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast

So as he went into the grocery store to get the chicken, I thought to check and make sure they are still gluten-free. There is only 1 flavor that is NOT gluten-free. So on the way home, I said what kind did you get? Of course, he got the 1 flavor that ha wheat in it. He got all mad. Your never happy.... I heard that. He said no matter how hard he tries I'm never happy :eyeroll: he also got groceries he thought I needed- Whig I had got Friday. So now I have double everything (that will Ho bad) he aaid his reasoning for the chicken went like

this: BBQ- I'm not allowed to go to my favorite BBQ places

because she says there is wheat in the BBQ sauce.

Original is boring.

Lemon pepper- I don't like lemon

Mojo- bingo! It's just seasonings, they are probably safe.

I got home and on the bag it said: contains wheat. If he would have turned them over he would have seen that.... He tried though right?

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IrishHeart Veteran

Depends. Would he do it just to piss you off? (if so, boo on him.) If he really made a mistake, then, just let it go. Life's too short to get all huffy about dinner.

When he says "there's no pleasin you" though, he's just looking for a fight. Just ignore. :rolleyes:

Now, you still have nothing to eat for dinner.

But really, my hubs knows how to read every label. Perhaps yours needs a little tutorial? Otherwise, this will just keep going on and on.

My big ole sweetie went gluten-free WITH me--I did not ask, he just decided it was best for us --and he does not regret it. (Well, except for missing GUINNESS--so he is making his own beer once more)...NOR does he miss out on any foods. We bake bread, make pizza, eat goodies occassionally and actually, eat very healthy. He was just so happy that I was not slowly dying anymore, he did not care what it involved. He's my rock!

People make sacrifices for those they love and they need not make their partner feel like "a burden" because of a little dietary issue. In the end, it's just FOOD, for pete's sake. :rolleyes:

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Marilyn R Community Regular

My DP is one of the kindest gents you'd ever meet. Great sense of humor, loves everybody and everybody loves him. He loves animals and they love him back. Great guy.

He was a saint when I was sick, grocery shopped, cooked, never complained that I was sick as a dog and wanted to die. I"d say, "Babe, I think I'm dying" and he'd say "We're all dying".

My Saint BF got pissy when I went gluten-free. Sandsurfgirl mentioned the grieving period...and was absolutely correct. It's something that happens, and it's hard on everybody, not just you. It's a major life change. I also like the other advice given. Made me smile!

If you can find Chebe pizza crust mix at a store near you, or online, you can whip up an amazing pizza. It is really good.

I bought a $50 smoker and encouraged St. boyfriend to learn about smoking meat. I'm really frigging sick of smoked meat but he's happy and I always give him an A Plus. (There's definately no gluten in it, and I can use left overs for bean soup or pulled pork.) They're making a big life change for us, and it's tough to realize that, especially when they're cranky (not that we ever are cranky)! Good luck! :D

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast

I really feel my kids should go gluten free. But as my husband keeps saying "I don't buy into the gluten crap". He tells me I make issues for my kids that are not there. The middle one has been tested, but my oldest is starting to show lots of symptoms. We only have emergency insurance until December, then I'll have awesome coverage and will have the labs done for the kids. He thinks that I just have a sensitive stomach.

I can't tell you how many times I've watched him eat bread or pasta and run into the bathroom. He swears he doesn't have a problem but he does. I can't make him do anything.

The price of gluten-free stuff scares him. I'm slowly replacing everything gluten-free in my own sneaky way. I need a good cheap easy gluten-free bread recipe for my kids lunches and I'll be good:-)

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sariesue Explorer

None of the pizza places in your area have gluten free pizza? There are 2 pizza places in my town that sell gluten free pizza. There is a company called stillriding pizza that sells the pizzas to pizza places. To find a pizza place that carries stillriding go to Open Original Shared Link There might be one by you.

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sandsurfgirl Collaborator

I really feel my kids should go gluten free. But as my husband keeps saying "I don't buy into the gluten crap". He tells me I make issues for my kids that are not there. The middle one has been tested, but my oldest is starting to show lots of symptoms. We only have emergency insurance until December, then I'll have awesome coverage and will have the labs done for the kids. He thinks that I just have a sensitive stomach.

I can't tell you how many times I've watched him eat bread or pasta and run into the bathroom. He swears he doesn't have a problem but he does. I can't make him do anything.

The price of gluten-free stuff scares him. I'm slowly replacing everything gluten-free in my own sneaky way. I need a good cheap easy gluten-free bread recipe for my kids lunches and I'll be good:-)

Well I was being all understanding of him until I read this post. Saying he doesn't buy into the gluten crap is just being an ignorant ass. He needs an education. Print out explanations about this and make him read them. He needs to be bored to death with facts because his position is completely ignorant.

I use Gluten Free Pantry Basic Sandwich bread mix. It's about $4 a loaf if you buy it in bulk on that site we can't mention. I bought a long loaf pan online too so it makes a wonder bread size loaf. It's really "normal" and doesn't fall apart, etc. I ended up getting a Breadman bread machine with a gluten free setting, but until recently I was just mixing it up and making it by hand. It says to let it rise half an hour but I find it needs an hour to fully rise.

Your husband needs to realize how serious this is. I'm not sure what you can do, but he's got to be educated. His statements are ridiculous and your kids need to know if they have it too.

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Roda Rising Star

I'm sorry you and hubby are having a hard time. I know it was a big change for my husband at first. There was a lot to learn. He made mistakes but was willing to do what he needed to to keep me safe. Now he is a pro! I feel really fortunate that he never doubted my diagnosis. He did have a problem commiting my children to gluten free without evidence though. My youngest son did test positive on his tTG and I decided to put him gluten free without biopsy. Hubby regretted it so when I went to do the gluten challenge there was no way my little guy was going to tolerate a 3 month challenge. My husband was the one who called it quits and said to put him back gluten free as he could see the horror of how my child was acting and feeling. There is no doubt there now. It took 2 years for us to commit the oldest son gluten free. Everything for him is negative. He went gluten free the end of August and we are seeing improvements. He will be challenging in Dec. not for biopsy(he already had it) but to know if we need to continue(I know we will, but hubby needs the proof). Hubby was reluctant at first for older boy, but now is fine.

Maybe you could see a counsler to help work out your problems over this. Sometimes it helps for someone else to look at a situation to be objective. I think he needs to learn to compromise, realize that this is how things are going to be for you and accept it. Hopefully he can. You got excellent advice on how to deal with him. Sometimes our reactions and our attitude towards things affects how someone else reacts and a counsler could help you there too.

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Juliebove Rising Star

My husband always pulls the "Let's send out for pizza thing" even though everyone in my family has some sort of food issue that means we can't eat pizza very often even if it is gluten-free pizza. We can actually get gluten-free pizza delivered here but it's very expensive. And daughter and I don't like pizza all that much so we don't get it often. He is Italian so I can't fault him for wanting pizza.

Another thing I do when he is home (he currently lives in another state, military) is to buy ready to eat slices of pizza at the one Albertsons that sells them that way. Or microwaveable Calzones at Winco. I also have some sort of pizza pocket type things in the freezer which I got for cheap using a coupon and a doubler.

I buy premade sandwiches and breakfast items containing wheat for him when he is home. Then if he wants something he can just go get it.

I figure if I have those wheaty things in the house, all wrapped up and safe from our other food, he can go get them whenever he wants, he will be less likely to want it otherwise.

I don't usually offer him choices for meals. I am the cook. He either eats what I make or is on his own.

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast

He wants to know whT I want for my bday... A bread machine with a gluten-free setting :-) and my mom can get me some mixes. Is someone allowed to recommends mixes?

I'd like to keep the bread maker under 100 bucks. Something small to start with. I can always upgrade.

Then it will be mostly gluten-free in my house. He can have poison when he eats out. I have not been replacing the pasta either.

Is there a way someone can pm me what you usually buy off the web and what you buy in bulk? Anything to cut costs

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Di2011 Enthusiast

I'm not in the US/Norhtern America so can't help with purchases but I like your change of attitude :rolleyes: Make it work for you!!! Show/Tell your symptoms. Bake gluten-free at home and make mistakes and somethings yummmy. It has been my only way to get some positive inway at home/with family and at work.

Don't hold back with your health and/or sanity. ((Wish someone had been able to say that to me months ago!)

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ravenwoodglass Mentor

He wants to know whT I want for my bday... A bread machine with a gluten-free setting :-) and my mom can get me some mixes. Is someone allowed to recommends mixes?

I'd like to keep the bread maker under 100 bucks. Something small to start with. I can always upgrade.

Then it will be mostly gluten-free in my house. He can have poison when he eats out. I have not been replacing the pasta either.

Is there a way someone can pm me what you usually buy off the web and what you buy in bulk? Anything to cut costs

I went out and bought a bread machine and lots of different flours and such and ended up regretting it. The initial outlay was very pricey when I got all I needed and since our breads don't require kneading it is just as easy to use a mixer and then pour the batter into a bread pan. If you don't have a stand mixer that might be a better thing to ask for.

I don't even do that now that my local grocery store carries Udi's bread for about $3.89 a loaf. One of the best mixes I have used is Gluten Free Pantry's French bread mix. I also like Pamela's mix for quick breads and muffins.

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast

We all eat sandwhivhes everday. I'm not the best baker. I thought a bread machine I could dump everything in and then in a few hours have sandwhich bread?

I can whip you up some pork chops, but don't ask me to bake you muffins... They are not going to be good!

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast

My husband is also someone who doesn't believe in doctors. He thinks it's a money making business, and they just want your co pay. So anything "medical" he really doesn't buy. Unless a broken bone, or something major. But if it's not "major" he doesn't believe in it. And it's his definition of "major" :-)

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kareng Grand Master

For 1 person, its not worth it to me to make my own bread. Plus I barely eat it anyway. But if you are trying to make sandwiches or toast, several days a week for 4 or 5 people, it might be worth it.

Use the site Google at the top right of the screen. We have had soooo many recipes for bread & bread machine recipes and reviews. Might give you some ideas or (just confuse things further).

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast

I tried that. Just confused me lol.

I figure if I make the bread, thT is really the only gluten-free expensive thing I buy. ($5-$6 loaf) I foun a recipe for cheeze it's. Pasta wil be another feat but I can do without that.

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ravenwoodglass Mentor

We all eat sandwhivhes everday. I'm not the best baker. I thought a bread machine I could dump everything in and then in a few hours have sandwhich bread?

I can whip you up some pork chops, but don't ask me to bake you muffins... They are not going to be good!

Baking gluten-free bread is nothing like baking a gluten bread it is mainly dump the ingredients in a bowl, mix and plop in a pan. Quite a difference from the rise, knead, rise sort of thing with gluten breads. If you can bake a gluten cake mix you can bake gluten free bread. You might want to try mixing some up and seeing how it comes out before spending the money on a bread maker which does a lot of stuff that we don't need to do with gluten-free breads. With a hubby who is very careful with the budget you don't want him griping about how that expensive machine has just been sitting on the counter and rarely used for months.

If you like angel hair or linguine style pasta check to see if your local store has Thai Kitchen noodles. They would be in the Oriental section rather than the gluten free one. They are not real expensive and I like that they cook quick.

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast

Very good point. I will maybe ask for some mixes, and if thoes go well, ask for the bread machine.

We have an oriental store. The rice noodles come in every thickness( angel hair to fetticini) and are .99 for a huge package. 1 package lasts me almost 2 weeks. I just never get to that end of town. Guess I'm going to have to start.

I made the decision last night my house was going gluten-free(itsgoing to be really hard with my mil living here- she doesn't understand at all, and chooses not to) but that's how it is. I know everyone will feel better. When they are out they can eat what hey want. Let's hope I can pull this off!

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kareng Grand Master

Very good point. I will maybe ask for some mixes, and if thoes go well, ask for the bread machine.

We have an oriental store. The rice noodles come in every thickness( angel hair to fetticini) and are .99 for a huge package. 1 package lasts me almost 2 weeks. I just never get to that end of town. Guess I'm going to have to start.

I made the decision last night my house was going gluten-free(itsgoing to be really hard with my mil living here- she doesn't understand at all, and chooses not to) but that's how it is. I know everyone will feel better. When they are out they can eat what hey want. Let's hope I can pull this off!

If you do most of the grocery shopping, you won't have gluten in the house. But you will need to be sure you don't completely leave the gluten eaters with nothing. If they always eat Wheat Thins, get some Crunchmasters. That sort of thing. You could also have some more healthy things ready to grab & eat. Cut carrot sticks & celery and Ranch dip. That sort of thing. Sell it as a "We need to set a healthier example for the kids".

There are corn pastas that are cheaper but they are different. Maybe after a few months without regular pasta, you could try that? We like it for Chili Mac (chili on pasta)

Your MIL is living there? And has the same attitude of hub? Its amazing you haven't gone completely nuts!

:blink:

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sariesue Explorer

We all eat sandwhivhes everday. I'm not the best baker. I thought a bread machine I could dump everything in and then in a few hours have sandwhich bread?

I can whip you up some pork chops, but don't ask me to bake you muffins... They are not going to be good!

Can you switch to gluten-free wraps instead? I had some corn torillas that made good wraps for sandwitches. Or you could use lettuce for wraps.

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kitgordon Explorer

I second the vote for Gluten Free Pantry Favorite Sandwich bread mix - my gluten-eating daughter adores it, and she doesn't have to eat it!

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