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Monklady123

Well-Meaning People Who Are Always Pushing Food!

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This post actually sort-of fits under the "can you eat this?" post, but I didn't want to hijack her thread.

My church has had a four-week Advent study immediately following Sunday worship. We had lunch each week. The first two weeks the woman who brought it went to the grocery store and got those sandwich platters. She also bought several kinds of cheese, hummos, raw veggies, fruit, gluten free crackers, and chips. I was just fine with everything except the sandwiches and it was sweet of her to buy the gluten free crackers.

The third week a different person cooked two kinds of chili and provided lots of different toppings. This is a woman who NEVER uses processed anything so her list of ingredients was totally safe and I ate it with no problem.

But the fourth week I got an email from the woman in charge of that meal saying they were going to do a lasagna lunch and could I please tell her where to buy gluten free lasagna noodles so she could make me a lasagna. Totally sweet of her. However! One, I have no idea where to buy lasagna noodles, I've never seen any. But more important, two, I would NEVER eat a lasagna made by someone else unless I really knew their kitchen and food handling. Especially if they were making a regular lasagna at the same time!

So I emailed her back to say thank you so much but don't worry, I'll bring my own lunch. Her reply said "No! We don't want you to do that! You can't do that!" etc... I replied back to say it's fine, I don't mind, it's not a problem, the company is what's important to me, not the food, and blah blah blah.

We went back and forth about three times before she gave up. At the lunch there were several lasagnas, Italian bread, and a lovely salad table. I had a nice salad, the leftover chicken I'd brought from home, and the gluten free cookies she'd bought for me. And she was still upset! oy...

Anyway, she is the sweetest lady and I kept telling her not to worry, etc., etc., ETC! But this sort of thing actually makes me want to stay home just to avoid the constant conversation.

Yeah, I could have worse problems in my life. :P Just one of those things. And I'm sure this is a common problem for those of us who need to be gluten free at the holidays and who have nice friends and family who just want to be sure we're happy. :D

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I can absolutely relate to you. Went to a team Christmas dinner for work Monday night. As it always seems to happen, the conversation seems to revolve around what I can and cannot eat. Not because I want it to but because people, while baffled by gluten issues, are curious. My team leader said, "I have a sister-in-law who has this and everyone always stresses about what to prepare for her when she comes to dinner and she always wants to bring her own food. I mean it's not like you would get really sick if something touched just a little of something with gluten in it, right?"

I explained that yes, some people can become very ill from just having cross contamination and that it is not just important about what is in the food but how and where it is prepared that make it unsafe. I explained that the only way most people with gluten problems could enjoy a meal out with a group or potluck, is to bring their own food so that they can relax and enjoy the company without worrying that they will get sick or offend someone by not eating their food.

BTW, the team chose a restaurant that has a gluten-free menu. I have eaten there before and had no problem but got CC'd and was sicker than a dog that night and most of yesterday. :(

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I always tell people not to worry about me. Simply because even though their intentions are good, it is much better when I'm in control. I actually hate all the attention that celiac brings. Honestly, we can talk about other things then what I can and can't eat.

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I would not expect them to "get" it unless they had personal (or family member) experience with either food allergies or restaurant cooking and preferably both. Anyway, I don't eat other people's food in potluck/social situations because of this and anyone who knows me knows it, it's a non negotiable item. At this time of year I'm actually more concerned with germs and the potential to get sick from somebody's day care toddler and then their sloppy food handling, than from gluten cross contamination.

Where you erred was establishing a precedent of eating some of the offered food already, so they are not aware of the seriousness of the issue. This invites comparisons....

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