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Help With Visit To SIL

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Later this month I'll be traveling to my SILs for the weekend. She loves to bake and cook and I'm tempted to tell her that I'll bring all my own food. How can I do this without insulting her? I need to keep myself healthy, but I need to balance that with a healthy family relationship too. Any tips on how others have visited friends/family and been able to eat safely?

Thanks!

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Later this month I'll be traveling to my SILs for the weekend. She loves to bake and cook and I'm tempted to tell her that I'll bring all my own food. How can I do this without insulting her? I need to keep myself healthy, but I need to balance that with a healthy family relationship too. Any tips on how others have visited friends/family and been able to eat safely?

Thanks!

With out knowing her personality it is hard to say BUT if she loves to cook, bring recipes! Talk up about how great it would be to cook / bake foods together. Educate her with out her knowing it on gluten-free cooking/eating. Might even say something like "been having trouble with this gluten-free recipe" and ask for advice.

Try to spin it to the positive as much as you can.

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With out knowing her personality it is hard to say BUT if she loves to cook, bring recipes! Talk up about how great it would be to cook / bake foods together. Educate her with out her knowing it on gluten-free cooking/eating. Might even say something like "been having trouble with this gluten-free recipe" and ask for advice.

Try to spin it to the positive as much as you can.

Yes, plus don't forget to take along your own bakeware. When I go to relatives' homes I take along my cutting board, silicone spatulas/spoons, cake or other baking tin; heck, I even take my own ingredients (i.e. gluten-free soy, Worcestershire, flours...). Your SIL may be thrilled to learn more about the attributes of buckwheat or chestnut or almond flours.

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It is uncomfortable at first. When I recently visited someone, I emailed ahead of time. I began the email about how thoughtful they are to always have food for me and while I appreciate it, for now I am being more strict and need to bring my own food. No doubt it stings a little but made my stay much more comfortable for me.

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It always ticks me off when I hear that people get hurt feelings because we want to bring our own food. Why should they be hurt? If you bring your inhaler for asthma with you, would they be hurt? Of course not! Well our gluten-free food IS our medicine, so those who feel insulted because we won't eat their food should get a clue.

I think the reason this bothers me so much is because I saw what my Mom went through. Back in the mid-eighties when she was diagnosed, nobody had ever heard of Celiac. People would say to her, "What's the matter, our food isn't good enough for you?" When she would try to explain, they wouldn't believe her. One time I was with her when this happened and after Mom explained why she had to bring her own food, this woman said, "That's ridiculous!"

I'm normally not a violent person, but that day I came so close to decking that woman! To this day, I wish I had. :angry:

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I got lucky....my SIL just married a guy with a wheat allergy! She got regular & gluten-free pizza us helping her move. From a safe place, too!

Otherwise, I bring my own. Or I have the family all to my house. Or I eat ahead. Or I bring a dish to share that can be my meal. Then either I take some out first or I bring a separate bowl of it for me. Or I don't go if I can't eat safely.

I tell people that I don't expect them to make my food as it it too difficult and confusing. My other BIL keeps wanting to cook for me. Stuff he knows would be fine, like BBQ. But his grill isn't really safe, etc. if he keeps insisting, I'll get into the details of cooking gluten-free and what happens if he doesn't. Then he will roll his eyes, smack me on the shoulder, and say fine, bring your own. :D

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when i go to visit friends and family, i bring my own:

pasta

bread

cutting board

strainer

wooden spoons

sometimes pots and pans

gluten-free soy sauce or any other specialty seasoning/ingredient i think we will need

i make a "menu" and i bring whatever equipment i think they won't have that is safe. i cook for everyone, the whole time i visit. just the evening meal - breakfast and lunch, it's pretty much every man for himself :) sometimes i will make stuff ahead of the trip to bring with, like chicken in marinade or the like.

maybe, since she loves to cook, you could (as someone else suggested) bring some gluten-free recipes, or, make a menu with her ahead of time and adjust her recipes to be gluten-free?

my bestie's husband is so sweet and always trying to cook for me, so if he is tending the grill, i wrap some frozen gluten-free bread in tinfoil and let him 'grill' it for me. it makes him feel better - but - i have to keep an eye on him as he tries to open the foil to see if it's 'done' lolz :blink:

i have also bought a hundred thousand jars of (half-sour, kosher that i can only find in new jersey!! they are so good!!) pickles that i bring back from the store to their house just to have somebody *immediately* open the jar and pick one out with their fingers.... :( before i was gluten=free, i would have done exactly that so i can't blame them.

good luck and hope you have a good, safe visit :)

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