Things have changed now. That unwavering optimism has all but disappeared. The fact is that I don't have the types of illnesses that go away. And for that reason, I've reached a new state of mind: acceptance.
No, it doesn't mean that I'll ever quit trying to get my health back. But I have to accept who I am, in both body and soul. I could get caught up waiting forever to go back to school and get a "normal" job. Instead, I have to recognize what my resources are in the state of health that I'm currently in. It does me no good to keep thinking about someday, when someday never comes. So I plan on embracing the things that I CAN do. Hopefully, it's enough to allow me to live a good life.