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The Grief Of Getting Better?!

Entry posted by 1desperateladysaved · - 1,280 views

[size=5]For this post, a "smiley" with tears gushing out both sides of the face is what I needed. One would think that getting better would be nothing but happy, but I found that grief engulfed me.[/size]

[size=5]For years I had lived in the fog and I knew nothing else. Then one glorious day, the fog cleared. Then the realization struck. I had lived in the fog for 25 years! Another fantastic day, I had more energy then I knew what to do with. I learned that I had lived with extreme fatigue for 25 years. During those years, I got married and had 5 children. I lived day after day with what seemed now to be 100 lb weight on my back. I had, as it were, walked off a cliff 25 years before, and now I knew it. Now, I discovered how much easier those years would have been, If only I had the nutrients I needed. But I hadn't. Day after day, I grappled with the sorrow of lost years. I had lived nearly half my life needlessly burdened.[/size]

[size=5]I found a Bible verse in Joel 2 that helped me grapple with my loss. The Lord promises to restore the years the locusts had eaten. If He did it for His people then, I realized, He could do it for me now. I couldn't fill the loss, but He could and was willing. One song also helped me through this difficult time. I will quote just a part of it.[/size]

[size=5]All things work for our good,[/size]
[size=5]though sometimes we don't see how they could[/size]
[size=5]Sorrows, that break our hearts in two, [/size]
[size=5]sometimes blind us to the truth: [/size]
[size=5]Our Father knows what's best for us. [/size]
[size=5]His ways are not our own,[/size]
[size=5]but when your pathway grows dim, [/size]
[size=5]and you just can 't see Him, [/size]
[size=5]remember your never alone.[/size]

[size=5]Here is a link to the version I played over and over during that low time. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QR1xmjfeGs"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QR1xmjfeGs[/url][/size]

[size=5]I can't say I am fully over the impact of my wasted years. I didn't even then have total recovery, it was just a taste of it. I later found out that I had celiac disease. I had many twists and bumps. I was brought through them. I expect to be carried through all the future valleys too.[/size]

[size=5]What matters to me today is that I have hope. I have hope that I am safe no matter what. I have hope that my body is making good progress in recovery. Sometimes, I have energy and feel overwhelmingly good. Compared to the struggle of those 25 years, having to avoid gluten is a piece of cake![/size]

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I could relate to your post. When I first went gluten free I had so much energy that I could exercise without injuries.

I wish I had been properly diagnosed like a class mate in high school.

I wish I could turn back the clock.

Enjoy your success. 


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I long for a clear head and energy.  I have been 3 weeks GF with only 2 accidents. And the thought of having a clear head...one day - keeps me sane..ish!


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