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First Kiss

abby03

By abby03
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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abby03 Contributor
abby03
Posted

So I met this guy and we've established that we both like each other. He's really sweet and we're supposed to go out for the first time tomorrow. I'm not suggesting anything with happen tomorrow but it has occurred to me that we may kiss sometime in the near future. It will be my first kiss ever and so obviously my first kiss as a celiac as well. The guy eats gluten but knows what Celiac is and even said he thought he had it at one time. He even seems to understand that even a single breadcrumb could hurt me. I'm not currently comfortable with eating at restaurants and I kind of hinted at that when we were making plans. He seemed to understand and said that if we ever did want to eat at a restaurant we would plan ahead and make sure it was safe. That made me really, really happy. This guy is super sweet but I'm SO worried about having to tell him that "oh, by the way, since my body is an idiot you kind of need to brush your teeth before we kiss so..........." I just feel like that's going to scare him off. And yeah, I know that if he doesn't understand then he isn't worth it but I really like him and want to try my hardest to make it work and not freak him out. I want to tell him in the best way possible and at the right time. I don't want to just spring it on him right as he leans in for a kiss, ya know? But I also don't want to seem like I'm just assuming and mention it too early. Does anyone have any experience with this? How did you handle it and did it go well? I know it really depends on the guy but  just have no idea when or how to mention it? Help??

 

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bartfull Rising Star
bartfull
Posted

If you don't eat during this first date, you should be safe. I'm sure one of the last things he will do before he comes to pick you up is brush his teeth. Then at some time in the future you can mention kissing somewhere in the middle of telling him about cross-contamination.

 

Have fun! He sounds like a nice guy. :)

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gatita Enthusiast
gatita
Posted

Awww, this is sweet. I like the "just mention it while talking about CC" approach, too, good idea. You can list a few things that you always have to be super careful about (I dunno, tasting from someone's plate, your food touching non-gluten-free food on a serving platter, even kissing...;) ) and see if he picks up on it?

 

Have fun, it'll all work out if he's as cool as he sounds.

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JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

I feel your stress on this, darlin! I am newly single after a six-year relationship ( :ph34r: ) and

find myself worrying about things like this, although I do not have the first-time jitters adding

to it. It's totally understandable that you would be nervous over the whole thing.

 

First- deep breath. So far, I have been able to work the 'Can't even share a drinking glass'

speech into conversation with every 'prospect' that has come along. However, if I find myself

faced with a situation where I haven't yet been able to make the gluten situation clear, and 

someone 'moves in' on me (lol) I would just put my hand up against his face, NOT back

away, and explain gently what the deal is. And maybe suggest he lands on my neck instead

of my mouth... (I don't suggest that for you as a first-timer! :D  Baby steps!) It also can't hurt

to carry a new toothbrush and travel-size toothpaste in your purse... Just sayin'. ;)

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notme45 Newbie
notme45
Posted

I'm married now, but when I was single I made too big a deal out of things that I thought would bother potential girlfriends.  Once I was in a relationship I realized that the things that I worried about didn't bother other people as much as it bothered me.

 

Now that we are a couple, my wife has shared some of the insecurities that she had while dating. Her insecurities and the faults that she found with herself were things that REALLY worried her.   She now laughs about these things

 

Try not to worry about what potential mates will think about the gluten thing.  It isn't nearly as big a deal to other people as it is to you. 

 

One of the things that you could tell your potential date is that you shouldn't share a straw if he has eaten gluten and hasn't brushed his teeth.  Perhaps this will be a gentle way of saying to be careful about kissing you on the mouth.

 

I have one more thought and I hope I'm not being out of line, but there are other PG rated places to kiss someone other than the lips.  He can kiss your cheek, neck, and ears.  You might be surprised how nice it is to be kissed in some of these other PG places.  

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notme Experienced
notme
Posted

^ stole my name!  lolz

 

my first kiss we both had braces - i was convinced that somehow we would get them tangled and stuck together....  

 

good luck, kiddo :)  

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Pegleg84 Collaborator
Pegleg84
Posted

I used to date a smoker, and insisted that he brush his teeth after smoking, because it's just gross. Therefore it only makes sense that someone would be courteous enough to brush their teeth and get rid of stuff that could potentially harm their significant other.

 

This said, I can't say I've ever gotten glutened from a kiss. My man is conscious of the potential for glutening, but I also have to be careful. If eating at home, I cook and it's gluten-free, though he may have a beer, in which case it's kisses on the cheek. No making out until teeths have been brushed. (Honestly, I have to enforce this with myself more than with him. And he's vegetarian so also refuses to kiss me if I've been eating meat. We're a wonderful couple, really...)

 

All this to say, if he likes you, and also wants it to work out, then it shouldn't be a problem. Just wait for the right moment.

 

Good luck and I hope you have a great time!

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Just another Celiac Newbie
Just another Celiac
Posted

Everyone else has had great suggestions and information.

My thought was if you have a mutual friend or even if your best friend might see him then, maybe ask them to share that if he intends to kiss you he needs to brush his teeth when your not around.

 

I am a newbie as in just in the last 2 weeks diagnosised and I didn't even think about the kissing thing!!! How possible is it to be glutened from kissing a mate? or for that matter sharing a drink? My husband will not be going gluten-free with me.......Is sex going to  be an issue?? I ask because what I little I understand of Celiacs disease can we be glutened by bodily fuid??

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Everyone else has had great suggestions and information.

My thought was if you have a mutual friend or even if your best friend might see him then, maybe ask them to share that if he intends to kiss you he needs to brush his teeth when your not around.

 

I am a newbie as in just in the last 2 weeks diagnosised and I didn't even think about the kissing thing!!! How possible is it to be glutened from kissing a mate? or for that matter sharing a drink? My husband will not be going gluten-free with me.......Is sex going to  be an issue?? I ask because what I little I understand of Celiacs disease can we be glutened by bodily fuid??

 

Just kissing is an issue.  Gluten doesn't run around in the body.  It gets digested in the intestines.  Just like other foods.

 

 

Ask the experts:

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Pegleg84 Collaborator
Pegleg84
Posted

Unless they like to eat pizza in bed... no. just mouth to gluteny-mouth contact.

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