• Ads by Google:
     




    Get email alerts Celiac.com E-Newsletter

    Ads by Google:



       Get email alertsCeliac.com E-Newsletter

  • Announcements

    • admin

      Frequently Asked Questions About Celiac Disease   09/30/2015

      This Celiac.com FAQ on celiac disease will guide you to all of the basic information you will need to know about the disease, its diagnosis, testing methods, a gluten-free diet, etc.   Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts What are the major symptoms of celiac disease? Celiac Disease Symptoms What testing is available for celiac disease? - list blood tests, endo with biopsy, genetic test and enterolab (not diagnostic) Celiac Disease Screening Interpretation of Celiac Disease Blood Test Results Can I be tested even though I am eating gluten free? How long must gluten be taken for the serological tests to be meaningful? The Gluten-Free Diet 101 - A Beginner's Guide to Going Gluten-Free Is celiac inherited? Should my children be tested? Ten Facts About Celiac Disease Genetic Testing Is there a link between celiac and other autoimmune diseases? Celiac Disease Research: Associated Diseases and Disorders Is there a list of gluten foods to avoid? Unsafe Gluten-Free Food List (Unsafe Ingredients) Is there a list of gluten free foods? Safe Gluten-Free Food List (Safe Ingredients) Gluten-Free Alcoholic Beverages Distilled Spirits (Grain Alcohols) and Vinegar: Are they Gluten-Free? Where does gluten hide? Additional Things to Beware of to Maintain a 100% Gluten-Free Diet Free recipes: Gluten-Free Recipes Where can I buy gluten-free stuff? Support this site by shopping at The Celiac.com Store.

Dealing With Social Awkwardness
0

8 posts in this topic

Has anyone here mastered the social awkwardness of saying no to gluten? Let me expand. It seems that there have been social invitations my husband and I have been invited to by people who we're getting to know (we moved across the country this February), and there's this sort of offense taken if we decline because of my celiacs. Or there was this one time someone made me brownies with oats - specifically for me. I strained a smile and felt I had no option but to accept and eat (okay, it was really good - but I'm always paranoid with oats, so I try to avoid them). Even if someone smiles and says, "Don't worry, my sister has something with gluten, and I can prepare for it." I'm still left with a little bit of discomfort in the back of my mind, knowing that "something with gluten" could mean full blown celiacs, or just a bit of an intolerance if they over do it.

Or! After church every Sunday, we do a fellowship meal, and often, it's laden with gluten. If it's not, I'm not sure how much I can rely on others to cater for those needs. It just seems we've been suppressed to forever alone status because of my celiacs, and I know my husband twitches a bit at it, though he'd never say or blame me for my condition.

 

How have you mastered the art of declining social invitations? Can anyone relate? Or am I really missing the obvious here? (Like packing myself lunch for Sundays etc).

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ads by Google:
Ads by Google:


I think it isn't good to decline social invitations because of a food issue.  Unless they are throwing flour around the house, there is no reason you can't go and enjoy the company.  Either buy some frozen dinners or pack yourself something, and when you are accepting an invitation, let the hose know you have special food needs and ask if it is okay to use their microwave to heat up your food.  You can also eat before you go and not have to bother with that.  If someone insists on feeding you food that you shouldn't be eating, NEVER give in to that.  Just politely say, "I appreciate the effort you went through to try to feed me, but to be safe I am going to have to decline."
 
For the meal after church on Sundays, if you are not able to sit through it and eat when you get home, pack yourself a lunch.  It is important to empower yourself with the tools you will need to not be socially isolated because of your Celiac disease.  If the church thing is a potluck, you can bring something in a crockpot, and tape over it with masking tape saying DO NOT TOUCH, if you trust people to leave it alone.  Then have at it first, and once you have safely gotten your share out of it, others can get some.  If there is going to be a long standing thing and there is a person who you can trust and teach the ways of safely serving gluten-free food, you can spend some time with them and, only if you feel comfortable, entrust them with your food preparation.  
 
But overall, NOTHING says you have to eat their food, and cannot come if you don't.  Bring some gluten-free snacks to share at a casual sioree, or just have a drink and steal the first clean scoop of ice cream from the unopened container at a dinner party.  But don't sit at home thinking you cannot enjoy life because of Celiac disease.
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how you feel, I have caught myself over the past few months considering avoiding social events around food and I'm trying to pull myself up on it. Laura is right, nobody should ever make you eat food you aren't happy with, but if they are people you might see regularly you might be able to teach them and cook with them - it varies. I have a few people I'm happy to do this with but I've only been doing it since I've become more confident in my own abilities to avoid CC.

 

Otherwise, I pack my own stuff and if I can I try to match it to whatever the host is making. If I take stuff to share then yes I grab my own (large) portions first to make sure I don't feel left out. Also - I once went to a cake sale my god-daughter held for a charity I run, which was lovely of her. I made one gluten-free cake expecting to take most of it home but in the end it made the day of an elderly lady who hadn't been able to eat anything at a church cake sale for years. Powering on through the awkward moments was made worth it for that :) 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only time I avoid social gatherings because of food is when I don't have the time to prepare something to eat ahead of time, for instance, if I don't get enough notice.

Otherwise, I have to be honest with myself and recognize that I choose not to go simply because I don't want to, and the food issues are just an excuse. Sometimes that is a good thing - not wasting the energy and money on activities that leave me feeling as if I just wasted an evening. Sometimes it is a sign that I'm just not all that comfortable with some types of social situations for a variety of reasons.

I personally prefer meeting up with smaller groups or individuals much more than larger groups, and would prefer to do an activity rather than just sit around and eat. And I think my least favorite is when the only thing on the agenda is drinking alcohol. Perhaps you and your husband can find some middle ground by figuring out what factors other than food might make you more or less interested in attending, or occasionally have people come to you where you can control the menu.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But overall, NOTHING says you have to eat their food, and cannot come if you don't. Bring some gluten-free snacks to share at a casual sioree, or just have a drink and steal the first clean scoop of ice cream from the unopened container at a dinner party. But don't sit at home thinking you cannot enjoy life because of Celiac disease.

I don't really have the dinner party issue. Normally when my friends want to get together and eat, it's restaurant time, or a cookout (and with my friends, they know I'm gonna want my food straight from the grill). As for church, we haven't had a meal since I got diagnosed, but I plan to do like I've always done, set up the food line and help keep it moving (remove empty pans, replace utensils that get dropped, ect---with gloves on). Except I plan to grab my plate first instead of at the end. But by all means, don't let celiac run your life!
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ads by Google:


I go to church potlucks and bring my own food. Yesterday, I brought my own food and in addition, snagged a few pickles from the potluck line to throw on my gluten free burger before anybody else had a chance to CC them. Everybody there is pretty much used to me bringing my own food by now.

 

I came up with a new catch phrase to use to explain why I don't often eat stuff prepared by others. "You know, life is too short to spend time interrogating my friends over their ingredients or preparation methods and worrying about feeling ill the next day. I'd rather bring my own food so that I can relax and enjoy spending time with my friends without worries."

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just bring my own food everywhere and say, with a huge smile, "Thanks so much for thinking about me... you are too kind...  but if I don't prepare it, I can't eat it." It's as simple as that.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I go to church potlucks and bring my own food. Yesterday, I brought my own food and in addition, snagged a few pickles from the potluck line to throw on my gluten free burger before anybody else had a chance to CC them. Everybody there is pretty much used to me bringing my own food by now.

 

I came up with a new catch phrase to use to explain why I don't often eat stuff prepared by others. "You know, life is too short to spend time interrogating my friends over their ingredients or preparation methods and worrying about feeling ill the next day. I'd rather bring my own food so that I can relax and enjoy spending time with my friends without worries."

 

 

I just bring my own food everywhere and say, with a huge smile, "Thanks so much for thinking about me... you are too kind...  but if I don't prepare it, I can't eat it." It's as simple as that.

 

Both of your quotes are awesome :)  Hopefully they will help some of our new people when they need the right thing to say!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      106,400
    • Total Posts
      930,339
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      63,821
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    Beth1
    Joined
  • Popular Now

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • MelissaNZ,  Has your daughter been checked for vitamin deficiencies??? Vitamin D deficiency symptoms include urinary incontinence, oral candidiasis (thrush), skin rashes, bumps on the backs of arms, joint pain, distended stomach and short stature.  Bones can't grow much without vitamin D.  Vitamin D deficiency causes delayed gastric emptying (food doesn't move through the gastrointestinal tract at a normal speed and the intestines bloat) which explains your daughter's delayed reaction to the cake.   Vitamin A deficiency is also a cause of bumps on the back of the arms. Vitamin A deficiency causes vision problems. Vitamin A and D are both fat soluble vitamins.  Absorption of fats is a problem for Celiacs.  So is absorption of B vitamins and important minerals. B Complex vitamins are water soluble and must be replenished every day. Skin rashes are associated with several B vitamins like niacin (B3), B12, and thiamine (B1).   I went through a period of severe malnutrition prior to diagnosis.  It was not a pleasant experience.  I had symptoms similar to your daughter's, including the incontinence, which resolved on vitamin D supplementation.   Please, please have your daughter tested for vitamin D deficiency.  And have her B vitamins checked as well.  Celiac Disease causes malabsorption.  Malabsorption causes deficiency diseases.  Newly diagnosed Celiacs need to be checked for deficiencies.   I hope this helps.  
    • I will try to make my long story short, I have been searching my whole life for a diagnosis,  I have seen pretty much every doctor possible I even went through a spinal tap recently because they thought I had multiple sclerosis,  when I was younger I was always throwing up and having stomach problems, a couple hospital visits they thought I had appendicitis, I started having a neurological symptoms as well as  anxiety and depression,  The fatigue was just over bearing,  I was having numbness and tingling and muscle spasms all the time eventually started having seizures,  which kind of cycled through and stop happening after a couple months,  and then it dawned upon me my brother has celiac pretty severely, my grandmother also has celiac, my dad does as well, I don't know why I never thought that it could be my issue, for the last week I have   Been gluten-free and steering clear of cross-contamination,  my dizziness is improved my fatigue is improved as well as rashes I was getting on my arms  and sides,  I have no more muscle jerks or spasms, The problem is I have horrible insurance and I cannot afford testing, so I am at least trying to do it an home blood test,  I know it's not very accurate on telling me if I have celiac or not,   But the thought I may never know for sure if I have it is very daunting.  My family keeps telling me you don't need  to spend thousands of dollars to have a doctor tell you you can't eat something you already know you can't. Just was wondering if anybody else has been in my position and seeing if anybody has a vi just was wondering if anybody else has been in my position and seeing if anybody has advice,  I don't want to be known as one of those people who believe they have something and people with the disease frown upon them it's a very scary thing to think about. 
    • ...ON a side note this is quite easy, you can make your own out of any gluten-free Bread mix, I recently started using a coconut flour blend for this.......Most often people associate caraway with Rye Bread so you just add caraway seeds to the dough and a bit more vinegar to sour it a tad and BAM gluten-free Rye Bread knock off. I think Authentic Foods even has a additive to put in bread mixes to make it taste like Rye Bread....Or you can buy it preamade, I have issues with all the other ingredients but as for one of the best gluten-free Breads out the Canyon House makes a Rye like bread https://canyonglutenfree.com/buy-gluten-free-bread-products/Gluten-Free-Rye-Deli-Sandwich-Bread.html  
    • Took me less than a minute, although why did they need our addy and phone?
    • As mentioned before you said she had rashes, have they checked if that is DH? That is a positive sign of celiac and those with the DH manifestation can have problems getting a postive with the gut biopsy.   Here are some links. https://celiac.org/celiac-disease/understanding-celiac-disease-2/dermatitis-herpetiformis/ https://www.gluten.org/resources/getting-started/dermatitus-herpetiformis/ Please read up on this. She can get the rash tested for the disease if it is DH.
  • Upcoming Events