• Join our community!

    Do you have questions about celiac disease or the gluten-free diet?

  • Ads by Google:
     




    Get email alerts Subscribe to Celiac.com's FREE weekly eNewsletter

    Ads by Google:



       Get email alertsSubscribe to Celiac.com's FREE weekly eNewsletter

  • Announcements

    • admin

      Frequently Asked Questions About Celiac Disease   09/30/2015

      This Celiac.com FAQ on celiac disease will guide you to all of the basic information you will need to know about the disease, its diagnosis, testing methods, a gluten-free diet, etc.   Subscribe to Celiac.com's FREE weekly eNewsletter   What are the major symptoms of celiac disease? Celiac Disease Symptoms What testing is available for celiac disease?  Celiac Disease Screening Interpretation of Celiac Disease Blood Test Results Can I be tested even though I am eating gluten free? How long must gluten be taken for the serological tests to be meaningful? The Gluten-Free Diet 101 - A Beginner's Guide to Going Gluten-Free Is celiac inherited? Should my children be tested? Ten Facts About Celiac Disease Genetic Testing Is there a link between celiac and other autoimmune diseases? Celiac Disease Research: Associated Diseases and Disorders Is there a list of gluten foods to avoid? Unsafe Gluten-Free Food List (Unsafe Ingredients) Is there a list of gluten free foods? Safe Gluten-Free Food List (Safe Ingredients) Gluten-Free Alcoholic Beverages Distilled Spirits (Grain Alcohols) and Vinegar: Are they Gluten-Free? Where does gluten hide? Additional Things to Beware of to Maintain a 100% Gluten-Free Diet What if my doctor won't listen to me? An Open Letter to Skeptical Health Care Practitioners Gluten-Free recipes: Gluten-Free Recipes
0
TriticusToxicum

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

My son loves to drink milk, and its funny... and this is not a joke... when he wants milk he asks for "Ma" :lol:

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ads by Google:
Ads by Google:


My son loves to drink milk, and its funny... and this is not a joke... when he wants milk he asks for "Ma" :lol:

I'm a ma-ma's boy myself! :P:ph34r:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My kids have no problems drinking their milk. Sometimes I think I need to buy a cow!

Yea, but judging from your avatars lately, they have trouble wearing clothes!!!! :lol:

So, I go away to the otho and when I get back I see you all have come up with a new use for my name! :lol:

You can all probably guess ... I CAN eat just one Lays. :lol: But make it a Ruffles ....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I had a friend, and not a real close friend, come to me for marital advice, they were just getting back together after separation and it wasn't going well. She had a whole list of things he wasn't doing ... I just asked her one question, "You have this whole list of things he should be doing to be a good husband and father, he has one thing on his list, are you doing that one thing?" They BOTH seem very happy now.

Looks like you touched it ... we got our answer. ;) Men are so easy to manipulate! :lol::lol: Just let her get the refrigerator she wants .... she may change her mind at the store like Patti did. But if you're really pushing her now, she won't ever change her mind. Tell her it's more important to you that she like the refrigerator, so just pick out what she wants. Then there's nothing holding her to the one she thinks she wants ... Does this make sense to you? I know it makes sense to the women! :lol:

LOL, not till Sunday!

:lol::lol: Carla,you are a wise woman indeed!!!

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yea, but judging from your avatars lately, they have trouble wearing clothes!!!! :lol:

You have no idea!

Maddy's going to be a nudist, there is no doubt about it. She loves taking a bath. Once she's all dried off she likes to run through the house and yell "I'm nak-ee, I'm nak-ee" (maybe just and exhibitionist, not a nudist?).

The picture is actually Olivia when she was about 2 yo. She stayed overnight with my parents. So that's REALLY what goes on at grandma's house. I don't know if you tell from the picture, but she is actually standing (half-naked in her boots with her favorite hat) on top of about 3 cases of soda, which is sitting on a bench in my parents' mud room...if memory serves me right, that is just the sort of stuff I used to get in trouble for! :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
if memory serves me right, that is just the sort of stuff I used to get in trouble for! :rolleyes:

That's because when you first have kids, parents are afraid you will kill yourself doing stupid things. Then, when you become a grandparent (or just have a lot of kids), then you realize it's picture worthy, and they're gonna live!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
That's because when you first have kids, parents are afraid you will kill yourself doing stupid things. Then, when you become a grandparent (or just have a lot of kids), then you realize it's picture worthy, and they're gonna live!

You forgot the part about "turnabout is fair play"... :huh:

Oh how I wish I had listened to my mother! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You forgot the part about "turnabout is fair play"... :huh:

Oh how I wish I had listened to my mother! :D

Yea ... my 16 year old son is a real pistol .... paybacks ... can't wait! I tell him that, too. And, since we're Catholic, I tell him that even if he becomes a priest, he's doomed to work with kids just like himself ... :rolleyes:

Richard, what did you take atropine for? I asked on the other thread, but you haven't come back ... did you get braces as an adult?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Richard, what did you take atropine for? I asked on the other thread, but you haven't come back ... did you get braces as an adult?

I was there, now I'm here. You're there. When you're here again you'll know the answer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I was there, now I'm here. You're there. When you're here again you'll know the answer.

LOL, 20 years ago, I was already an adult and married!! So, since you said 20 years ago, not as an adult, I'm clearly quite a bit older than you. :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LOL, 20 years ago, I was already an adult and married!! So, since you said 20 years ago, not as an adult, I'm clearly quite a bit older than you. :rolleyes:

let's see here...hmmhmm, carry the one...hmmhmm...yup, you got me by a couple years. I was still young and impressionable (in parachute pants). :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never wore parachute pants ... I was old enough to know they're ugly. Plus, I was too busy wearing power suites. :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
... I was old enough to know they're ugly. Plus, I was too busy wearing power suites. :blink:

Beedeebeedeebeedee - DOES NOT Compute! :huh:

(I'm trying to picture you as a linebacker!) :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Beedeebeedeebeedee - DOES NOT Compute! :huh:

(I'm trying to picture you as a linebacker!) :P

I was a rebel ... I hated shoulder pads and cut them out!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I was a rebel ... I hated shoulder pads and cut them out!!

You must have had yards of extra fabric - those were some BIG shoulder pads!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You must have had yards of extra fabric - those were some BIG shoulder pads!

Yea, when I finally did that, people kept asking if I lost weight!!

The power suit was actually a few years before the big shoulder pads ... the navy suit with the tie? It was the uniform at the apts. I managed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The power suit was actually a few years before the big shoulder pads ... the navy suit with the tie? It was the uniform at the apts. I managed.

Oh, I thought you said Power Rangers... ;)

Top 52 reasons I love George Carlin:

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/bondono2/Web...s/Joke0118.html

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? " She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him. . . is he still wrong? (yes)

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? :huh:

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? :blink:

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? (god I hope so!)

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? :ph34r:

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. :huh:

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favorite George Carlin line is: "A lady came up to me the other day and asked me if I had the time. I said, 'for what????' "!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My favorite George Carlin line is: "A lady came up to me the other day and asked me if I had the time. I said, 'for what????' "!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

I love his "stuff" routine!

http://www.writers-free-reference.com/funny/story085.htm

and of course...

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and I saw George Carlin back in the late 70's. I really like his stuff :D

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My DH just told me that his favorite Gallagher line is "Why do they put on the bottle of mold/mildew remover 'Use only in a dry, well-ventilated area.' If it was dry and well-ventilated, there wouldn't be mold or mildew IN there."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My DH just told me that his favorite Gallagher line is "Why do they put on the bottle of mold/mildew remover 'Use only in a dry, well-ventilated area.' If it was dry and well-ventilated, there wouldn't be mold or mildew IN there."

...and why DO they put braille on the drive up ATMs anyway?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And I'm certainly not getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN it! :D

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
And I'm certainly not getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN it! :D

Oh Patti- Cc'Mon live a little! you could ring in the plane any ol' time!

I like this one:

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Actially, in my case, I feel like I'm parallel parked in a diagonal universe! :ph34r:

Or if computer error messages were haikus:

The Web site you seek

cannot be located but

endless others exist

Or a real sign:

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yogi once said...

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. :huh:

I usually take a two hour nap from one to four.

When you come to a fork in the road ... Take it. (My ALL-TIME FAVORITE) :lol:

The future ain't what it used to be.

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

There are days...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      108,923
    • Total Posts
      943,525
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      67,137
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    Tb143
    Joined
  • Popular Now

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • A quick perusal of Dr. Brownstein's website outs him quite quickly as a purveyor of pseudoscience. Though he may be an MD, he appears to have abandoned evidence in favour of selling stuff people don't need by making them afraid, using his authority as a doctor. Like all such individuals, what he says has some basis of truth (eg. hypothyroid disorders are quite common, the average North American has a terrible diet), but he twists it to create fear and take advantage of those who are less scientifically literate. Conspiracy theories abound to be found at: http://www.drbrownstein.com/dr-bs-blog/ Here is a criticism of his work: https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/does-your-antivax-doctor-have-another-agenda/
    • Almost 2 years into my diagnosis after losing about 35-40 pounds I have now added about 60 with clean gluten free eating. I also changed jobs which for me has been much more of a physical change, thus needing more calories I have finally been able to put back some pounds. It is possible, for me the clean diet which helped restore my guts let me finally start absorbing the nutrients I was lacking. 
    • Hi Niza, Try to eat lots of protein.  Meats, peanut butter, avocadoes, things like that.  Try to avoid processed (pre-made) foods like frozen pizza, cereals, pot pies, cookies etc.   There gluten-free versions of many of these foods, but they are best saved for later on like 6 months after going gluten-free. If you are just starting out gluten-free, eat a simple diet of mostly foods you make yourself at home.  Also, try not eat eating any dairy (milk, cheese etc) for a couple months.  Oats are also a thing to avoid eating for a couple months.  You may not have any problem with dairy or oats, but some people do. Welcome to the forum Niza!
    • I am. I went undiagnosed for years and years and I honestly thought I was dying. I had been trying to gain weight even before my diagnosis and could barely gain a thing. I am so relieved to actually have an answer as to WHY! I was just diagnosed last weekend so I still have a lot of internal healing to do after years of villus atrophy. I have been drastically underweight for some time now, although I am slowly gaining. I am currently eating around 2,500 calories a day and not doing any strenuous exercise. I am only 74 lb (at 5'2") and I started out at 67 back in the beginning of December. I eat as much as some of my guy friends eat in order to "bulk" when they are lifting heavy at the gym and yet I still seem to gain at a slower rate. Just goes to show how messed up your intestines can become after years of abuse. 
    • Hey Deb, In theory (based on some studies), your small instestine should heal pretty fast (within weeks), but often there is collateral damage that can take longer (like your bone pain).  For me, personally, a gluten exposure can set me back three to six months.  My antibodies can last over a year.  And worse, I now developed autoimmune gastritis and hives.  Yikes!   I had  some hip and rib cage pain when I was first diagnosed.  Two months later I fractured some vertebrae.  I had been undiagnosed for so long, that I developed osteoporosis.  I assume that once on a gluten free diet, your pain should diminish based on a strict adherence to the diet and  your previous experience.   I hope you feel better soon!  
  • Upcoming Events