This Is Disgusting.....

[Canadian Karen]

Okay, I had my follow-up with my GI specialist down at St. Mike's in Toronto. He is sending me to an immunologist to see if he can figure me out..... He did mention something about maybe an enzyme syndrome (I forgot the name of it) that he said is quite rare, but wanted to look into it further....... He did a few more blood tests. But here is the worst part: He wants to measure the fat content of my bowel movements for 48 hours (normally, it is 72 hours but he said since I go so often, 48 hours will suffice for me.....). I have to basically poop into a paint can (yes, you read correctly, a paint can.....) I went down to the lab in the hospital and they actually give you a paint can to collect all your bowel movements!!! Actually, they gave me two, due to the number of bowel movements I have in the span of one day...... All I have to say is: THIS IS THE MOST VILE THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO!!!! It is so unfair to have to put my family through this! I have basically told them that the downstairs bathroom is OFF LIMITS for two days, and Terry and the four kids have to put up with sharing one bathroom for the next two days!!!! I will be sooooo glad when this is over!! Add on top of that the fact that my back is killing me and you can just imagine (sorry for the visual, lol!) me trying to get down onto a paint can on the floor without toppling over!!!! I am having nightmares about falling over and knocking the can over!!!!

Wish me luck that I will get through the next two days without losing my sanity!!!

Hugs,

Karen

[mommida]

You are a braver woman than me! I just gave up with the doctors and went gluten free. I think the test results I got up to this point should be recycled to make toilet paper.

Good luck, and I'm sure your great sense of humor will kick in any second now. Just don't start laughing so hard you fall of your can. (Can you imagine if somehow your sample was sent to the wrong place? The I.R.S. in the U.S. does get a lot of that kinda stuff in the mail.) It could be worse... you aren't the person who has to open that can!

Laura

[celiac3270]

I think I could already hear your terrific sense of humor seeping in by the end of the post. Try to think of it as positively as possible. And like Laura said, you have to put up with it now, but then someone else has to open it up.

I'm just sorry that it came at such a bad time--with the back being an issue, too.

Just try to make light of it and think of us thinking of you thinking of paint cans.

[KaitiUSA]

Hang in there...it's good you can at least have a sense of humor about it. I'm sure it could definitely be worse

[Carriefaith]

Karen! You are not alone in this! I had to collect mine for 24 hours and put it in an ice cream container 2 times! Once before I was diagnosed and once afterwards. I call it the 24 hour Poop-A-Thon There are so many words to describe it, annoying, gross, degrading yea..... Carrying it into the hospital and giving it to the lab is interesting. When I do that I'm thinking "have fun with that!"

[Guest imsohungry]

I'm sitting here at work just laughing at this thread...not to make fun of you...but because I've been in similar situations...Hang in there!

One year, during the holidays, my rheumatologist had me saving my urine for 48 hours. He gave me a bright orange jug with a skull and cross bones on it. Well, I had to REFRIDGERATE my pee between fill-ups! It being the holidays and all, I was forced to carry my jug of urine in a cooler with me, twenty miles to my in-laws house for dinner! Well, I sat down to pee, forgetting my jug...and called to my hubby to bring it to me in the bathroom...right through the kitchen he comes running (all the relatives watching), with a big orange refridgerated jug of pee with a skull on it. Let's just say that nobody will forget Thanksgiving that year!

[mommida]

Had to open a can of paint this morning to finish a project. I definately had some mixed feelings. Is this why paint smells like sh*?

Laura

[tarnalberry]

I'm sorry you have to do that, but at least two days is better than three. Good luck getting through it!

[jenvan]

Oh boy Karen--good luck! Sounds like your family is pretty supportive ! Once, when my husband was fixing our toliet I had to go bad, and told him--hurry! He told me like 10 times--just a few more minutes! Finally I told him I couldn't stand it (which surprised him for some reason ?) and that I was going down in the basement to go in a bag. He was so grossed out--he was like "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

[jenvan]

And Oh--he did get the toliet fixed like right then!

[Canadian Karen]

Jules, thanks for the laugh!!! I thought those things only happened to me!!!

Hey, maybe I will invent a new colour for Behr or something. Let me see.....

Sunset Stool

or

BM Beige

Karen

[jenvan]

Sunset Stool--that sounds beautiful ! Like a color I'd paint my den...

[Canadian Karen]

I knew there was a reason I am attracted to "earthy" shades!!!! LOL!

By the way, the going downstairs in a bag had me rolling! Now I can definitely see myself doing that!!!! Celiacs are quite familiar with the feeling of "Gotta go NOW!"

Karen

[Guest Viola]

Just really had to laugh at this one, I've been there with both the pee container and paint can. Thank heaven for a sense of humor ... hang in there Karen ... This too shall pass

[jenvan]

Yeah Karen, I was shocked at how grossed out my husband was. He was like "I don't want to have to throw your poop out!" And I was like "I'll throw it out--you won't even have to see it !! It's not my fault you've taken the toliet apart !"

Which reminds me of some funny stories I've forgotten till now. I'll go post under that funny story thread... Good bathroom stories about being overseas !

[celiac3270]

lol...there's the sense of humor...both very nice sounding colors

By the way, the going downstairs in a bag had me rolling! Now I can definitely see myself doing that!!!! Celiacs are quite familiar with the feeling of "Gotta go NOW!"

Sorry, what do you mean by going downstairs in a bag?

[Canadian Karen]

The "BM in a Bag" story is JenVan's experience she was relating to me earlier in the thread. It made me feel better knowing I am not the only one these things happen to!!!

Oh, by the way, with regard to someone mentioning "Well, at least you don't have to open the can"....... that's the problem, I do, EVERY TIME I HAVE TO GO!! I am really dreading having to go each time now.......

Oh, here's another shade: Shanghai Specimen

Karen

[celiac3270]

Oh, of course. Downstairs...it took me awhile to pick up on that, lol. You could come out with a bowel line.

[Canadian Karen]

Hey, who knows? I could discover/invent this fall's colour trends....... lol!

Karen

[Guest Viola]

Just as long as you don't do any 'scratch & sniff? paints.

[Guest imsohungry]

HA! I'm just LMAO here at work. You all have my "warped" kind of sense of humor...

Thanks for the laugh. Lord bless us all as we "aim" at our jugs and cans!

-Jules

[Canadian Karen]

Yep, that's us! We're just a wild and crazy bunch!!!!

Karen

[celiac3270]

How is it going so far? Or are you holding it?

[Canadian Karen]

I only wish I could hold it! Each time is getting worse and worse. What I am doing is spraying all over the bathroom before I open the can so it is not as overpowering...... This is quite brutal!

Karen

[Guest BERNESES]

Hang in there Karen- remember I'm the one who pooped on her own couch! And while you're at it, check this website out:

www.createfarts.com

My personal favorite is Shanghai Specimen- it would be a lovely chocolate brown.