• Join our community!

    Do you have questions about celiac disease or the gluten-free diet?

  • Ads by Google:
     




    Get email alerts Subscribe to Celiac.com's FREE weekly eNewsletter

    Ads by Google:



       Get email alertsSubscribe to Celiac.com's FREE weekly eNewsletter

  • Announcements

    • admin

      Frequently Asked Questions About Celiac Disease   09/30/2015

      This Celiac.com FAQ on celiac disease will guide you to all of the basic information you will need to know about the disease, its diagnosis, testing methods, a gluten-free diet, etc.   Subscribe to Celiac.com's FREE weekly eNewsletter   What are the major symptoms of celiac disease? Celiac Disease Symptoms What testing is available for celiac disease?  Celiac Disease Screening Interpretation of Celiac Disease Blood Test Results Can I be tested even though I am eating gluten free? How long must gluten be taken for the serological tests to be meaningful? The Gluten-Free Diet 101 - A Beginner's Guide to Going Gluten-Free Is celiac inherited? Should my children be tested? Ten Facts About Celiac Disease Genetic Testing Is there a link between celiac and other autoimmune diseases? Celiac Disease Research: Associated Diseases and Disorders Is there a list of gluten foods to avoid? Unsafe Gluten-Free Food List (Unsafe Ingredients) Is there a list of gluten free foods? Safe Gluten-Free Food List (Safe Ingredients) Gluten-Free Alcoholic Beverages Distilled Spirits (Grain Alcohols) and Vinegar: Are they Gluten-Free? Where does gluten hide? Additional Things to Beware of to Maintain a 100% Gluten-Free Diet What if my doctor won't listen to me? An Open Letter to Skeptical Health Care Practitioners Gluten-Free recipes: Gluten-Free Recipes
0
TheIntern

Defending My Choices

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Hi all,

I'm relatively new and have been gluten-free for about three weeks now. I plan on getting tested soon (and I guess I'll go back on gluten for that), but I know that I have some form of gluten intolerance, if not celiac. For now, though, I'm content to be gluten free and not feel like absolute crap. My nails are better, even my vision has slightly improved.

Anyway...I hate having to defend my food choices since I don't exactly have a diagnosis yet.

My roommate and I were at an ice cream shop and I excitedly said "Oh! They have gluten-free ice cream!". She laughed and looked at the guy working there and said "She thinks she can't have gluten. But she's self-diagnosed" and started laughing! I was mortified and felt just plain stupid. I was tempted to get the oreo ice cream just to feel a little better. But I KNOW I would have been sick within a half hour.

Do you guys experience this, too? This pressure to just eat normal even though you just can't?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ads by Google:
Ads by Google:


I too am self diagnosed. I've been gluten-free for over 1.5 years and it still annoys me to have to explain sometimes..."oh you can just have one" Um, no I can't. I find that my answer depends on the person I'm with - if I'm with family and they ask, I can be as vulgar and honest as I like which usually shuts it down pretty quickly (go into detail about what will happen if you eat it...people love that) :-) If it's friends or someone new, I typically don't bring it up. On first dates and such, if they offer dessert, I just politely say that I don't eat sugar instead of going into the whole gluten-free thing. Then I go home and indulge on a block of cheese :-) Sometimes when it does come up, someone will ask if I have celiac - I'll explain in as little detail as possible that no I don't have a formal diagnosis, but I feel SO much better when I don't eat so I'd rather just go without. If that doesn't work, I say I just don't like it (which actually isn't a lie - about six months ago I got mad about the whole thing and cheated for a week - things I used to love didn't taste right anymore and it was a total let down - I hurt myself for nothing). I try to use humor whenever I can. Everyone has things they don't eat and it's not necessarily because they can't. I've hated bananas my whole life - I don't react to them, I just hate everything about them so I don't eat it even though most people love them. In my mind, it's the same thing. Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Intern, first your roommate sounds like a mean person, not a friend. You don't have to justify your choices and not being diagnosed doesn't matter in this situation.

You have several choices on how to deal with this. Ignore, fight back or change your tactics.

You could talk to her privately and ask that she respect your choices and then ignore her. You could say "I choose to eat this way." instead of "I can't have that." (This was recommended to me as a way to deal with calorie-reduction for weight-loss, to change one's mindset. I find it helpful.) Simply say "I don't eat ice cream cones." or "I am so excited to try the coffee/toffee flavor!"

You could be less effusive when you find a gluten-free product or food and not expect her to be happy for you. Just take it in stride - it will eventually be "normal" for you. This may be easier than being confrontational. You can get validation here when you find a great gluten-free product or have a good restaurant meal. Or you may find other people who are happy for you.

If this happens in the future, you could look at her and say something like "Wow, aren't you in a snippy/weird/argumentative mood today?" Or " Please, have what you want to eat and let me have what I want."

Unfortunately, this won't be the last time that you have to deal with this. Figuring out how to manage it does get easier. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I mentioned here before how I handle it. Of course it won't work with your roommate because he/she already knows you are self-diagnosed. But in future you might consider how I (also self-diagnosed) deal with it:

I say, "When I was diagnosed with celiac..." That way I'm not really lying because I was diagnosed - by myself. And if people take it to mean a DOCTOR diagnosed me, that's OK because they are more likely to take my disease seriously.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all,

I'm relatively new and have been gluten-free for about three weeks now. I plan on getting tested soon (and I guess I'll go back on gluten for that), but I know that I have some form of gluten intolerance, if not celiac. For now, though, I'm content to be gluten free and not feel like absolute crap. My nails are better, even my vision has slightly improved.

Anyway...I hate having to defend my food choices since I don't exactly have a diagnosis yet.

My roommate and I were at an ice cream shop and I excitedly said "Oh! They have gluten-free ice cream!". She laughed and looked at the guy working there and said "She thinks she can't have gluten. But she's self-diagnosed" and started laughing! I was mortified and felt just plain stupid. I was tempted to get the oreo ice cream just to feel a little better. But I KNOW I would have been sick within a half hour.

Do you guys experience this, too? This pressure to just eat normal even though you just can't?

If it makes you feel any better, those of us who have an official diagnosis get the same crap from friends and family. I remember being incensed with my sister, after I was diagnosed and trying to order a meal in a restaurant, when trying to explain how careful I have to be with CC when the waiter was taking our orders. She gave me that smarmy eye roll and I just about decked her. For someone who works in the medical field, she was her stupid best that day. BTW.....my sister has a problem with gluten also but doesn't have the digestive issues that I had so she thinks she is fine. She has 3 other AI diseases,all associated with Celiac, but no, she is fine. :rolleyes:

You have to grow a thick skin and pooh-pooh people who treat you this way. It depends on the situation but I have verbally reamed people for being so stupid but other times I ignore their ignorance and move on. You don't have to justify your eating habits to anyone. I do not feel we eat anything but normal....healthy normal. It's not our problem the rest of society chooses to eat garbage. :P

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ads by Google:


What a charming room mate you have there. Imagine how wonderful her other relationships will be. :blink::ph34r:

I just don't agree with this option:

You could be less effusive when you find a gluten-free product or food and not expect her to be happy for you.

I don't care if other people are "happy for me" or not, but I would be damned if I was going to tip toe around being "less effusive" when I find something I can eat, so as to not provoke a sadistic response from such an idiot. My being able to eat something is not taking away one iota from other people's ability to being able to eat the same thing. Our ability to be able to find something to eat in the first place, partially depends on being able to give positive feedback to those establishments that are providing it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What a charming room mate you have there. Imagine how wonderful her other relationships will be. :blink::ph34r:

I just don't agree with this option:

I don't care if other people are "happy for me" or not, but I would be damned if I was going to tip toe around being "less effusive" when I find something I can eat, so as to not provoke a sadistic response from such an idiot. My being able to eat something is not taking away one iota from other people's ability to being able to eat the same thing. Our ability to be able to find something to eat in the first place, partially depends on being able to give positive feedback to those establishments that are providing it.

Takala, I'm not going to argue with you but Intern has options and she can make a choice as to how she wants to handle it. An option would be just to order and eat the food without making a big deal out of it being gluten-free. It's what my daughter (who is gluten-free but doesn't need to be) wants me to do when I'm out to dinner with her. Teenagers are like that and Intern's roommate sounds immature like a teenager.

There are some people you can change, some you can't. If she has a lease agreement and is stuck with a roommate, she may have to deal with the roommate, unlike a friend that you could avoid or de-friend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:


It sounds like your room mate has self confidence issues trying to belittle you in front of someone else, and it says more about her/him, than it does about you. I have been diagnosed coeliac but I would always respect someone else's choice if they felt they had coeliac disease - after all it's your life, and your body, and it's you that suffers if you make a mistake with your food choices.

I agree with an earlier comment, and you should have a private word with your room mate but in future just don't explain why you are gluten free to people, you shouldn't have to. I don't drink alcohol because I get severe migraine within half an hour with so much as a teaspoon of alcohol and I wouldn't dream of 'explaining myself' to others, I can't have it and that's that. Perhaps you should adopt a similar approach, at the end of the day, it's nobody else's business but yours.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess maybe the problem is that I'm just starting out so when I find something gluten-free at a restaurant, I still get excited. It's been really hard these first few weeks and it's kind of freaking me out. The fact that my roommate (who I've been friends with for years) was basically making fun of me just kind of hurt my already vulnerable feelings.

Maybe I'll just start saying "No thanks. I'm not hungry" or something...I'm just kind of down today. I feel like I have 0 options when it comes to eating out and even when I do find something, I feel like I get a little sick anyway. I accidentally had a sip of beer last night and even that made my stomach angry. Ughhhh I'm just so frustrated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I say, "When I was diagnosed with celiac..." That way I'm not really lying because I was diagnosed - by myself. And if people take it to mean a DOCTOR diagnosed me, that's OK because they are more likely to take my disease seriously.

Exactly! If cutting out gluten from your diet improves your health, then you DO have a diagnosis. The diet reaction was all I needed to tell me it was celiac, and later I found out that it was good enough for my doctor too - even without a blood test or a biopsy. She is totally convinced after seeing the difference a gluten free diet has made.

This may sound weird, but your friend could actually be jealous that you have celiac. You have something that makes you different and interesting, and she may feel overshadowed by that. It's common for children to have that reaction, and sometimes adults too.

I've been gluten free for over five months now, but haven't yet visited my parents while gluten-free. They live very far away, but sooner or later I'll have to visit. When I was little my mom had this habit of trying to "cure" my bad reaction to some ingredients by hiding them in food, and tried to "cure" my motion sickness/vertigo by deliberately going for long drives until I was sick, and tried to "cure" my perfume induced headaches by deliberately wearing strong perfume. My mom is an avid baker too, and I'm already mentally preparing myself for the gluten war that will ensue... Mental preparation for the negative reaction from friends could be your greatest ally.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:


I still get excited when I see something gluten-free that I haven't been able to eat in a while. And if someone asks me about why I can't eat something, I try not to go on about it (I do go on about it, but I do try not to). I know my mother (also Celiac) would hardly talk about anything else for a while, which got kind of grating, but she's settled down since then.

I'm self-diagnosed, but my family history (it's on BOTH sides of my family. We're dropping like flies...) and the fact that I started feeling better in what, a week? (oh, and my nails got better too! They used to be all brittle and thin and slow-growing but now they're fine. That's my one bit of physical proof). If you're sure you have Celiac, or at least Gluten Intolerance, then you don't need a doctor to confirm it. (I more or less told my doctor that I had it. No arguments.)

But in the end, a diagnosis doesn't matter. Gluten makes you feel like crap. You want to avoid that at all costs. Cause it's better for you and your friends in the long run. (As I often say, if I get into the gluten, either it'll kill me or I'll kill someone else, whichever comes first).

Maybe you can give your roommate (and your friends and family) some good information on Celiac disease and the gluten free diet so they'll understand why you're doing it, what can hurt you, and that it will make you a healthier, happier person.

But I congratulate you for being tough and not getting that Oreo ice cream. We all have to be careful not to cave in to pressure.

So, keep it up!

Peg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She laughed and looked at the guy working there and said "She thinks she can't have gluten. But she's self-diagnosed" and started laughing!

You look at the ice cream guy with a pained expression and say "Sorry about my friend. She won't believe that she's an @$$h*le until her psychiatrist tells her she is." Then order the gluten-free cone.

  • Upvote 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You look at the ice cream guy with a pained expression and say "Sorry about my friend. She won't believe that she's an @$$h*le until her psychiatrist tells her she is." Then order the gluten-free cone.

BAHAHAHAHAHA...best answer!!!!!! Keeping it light, yet putting her friend in her place.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

. An option would be just to order and eat the food without making a big deal out of it being gluten-free.

There are some people you can change, some you can't.

If she has a lease agreement and is stuck with a roommate, she may have to deal with the roommate, unlike a friend that you could avoid or de-friend.

Good advice, cyberprof.

You do not need to defend your choices to anyone.

You can explain yourself silly or come out with some good, snappy comebacks, (jess offered you a doozy!) but some people will always give you grief over it.

Blow them off and enjoy your good health.... and ice cream . :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You look at the ice cream guy with a pained expression and say "Sorry about my friend. She won't believe that she's an @$$h*le until her psychiatrist tells her she is." Then order the gluten-free cone.

and i bet you she won't do it again!!! Jus' settin' here, laughin' my butt off.....yeah jet!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:


You guys rock. Thanks for making me feel so much better! I'm so happy to have found this forum and now I feel like I can justify my "diagnosis" to myself. I see and feel the changes - it shouldn't matter what other people think. Seriously, thanks so much :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With a friend like that, who needs enemies? No one needs to make you feel badly about something medical... self diagnosed, or not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      108,910
    • Total Posts
      943,450
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      67,043
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    Serenda
    Joined
  • Popular Now

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Ennis_TX, thank you for your response! I will take heed of all your nutritional pieces of advice, one by one. And yes, I am aware that a gluten marathon is on the horizon soon.   Before doing the test, however, I shall try to fortify my diet with the nutrients you mentioned, and report back in a week or two.   I think adding some iron supplement is wise too.    
    • Yeah I thought that rant might make me look like a queer after reading it a bit later.....I am straight btw I just have very long and fine hair...that yeah it blows everywhere and gets in my mouth sometimes, and always pushing it with my hands or having to tie it up.  I blew up because it sometimes feels like I am talking to a bunch jocks with buzz cuts when it comes to hair....like people that do not understand no matter what you do....it is going to end up in your mouth and you have to keep messing it and working with it when the stuff runs like 4-6" past your shoulders.
      >.< thing is some times with the way your hair is.....you do not rinse it all out...some conditioners I have used in the past used to b ones you would not rinse all the way out....it sort of does become a issue that is very easily avoided. There are many more options for gluten free shampoos now days and many companies have taken the allergy/gluten concern to heart and removed them/used alternatives to boost sales to a larger demographic. Point is while yes I did blow up about it...and honestly in many cases the "hydrolyzed wheat protein" thing is a hit and miss on if it really contained gluten, but better safe then sorry is my bet and with tons of options....why chance it?


       
    • B-vitamins...most gluten and processed foods are enriched...your basically eating a multivitamin every time you have a slice of bread etc. Look for a full spectrum B-vitamin supplement, others can be magnesium, iron, vitamin d, folate, etc. You mention plenty of greens and fruit so ruling out vitamin A,C,K, and a few others. Hmm did you drop off your carbs too much? If your carb dependent you need more complex carbs from like sweet potatoes, rice etc. And what about fat and protein? I am a keto dieter, my body burns fat instead of carbs for energy so I can say it is quite important to have plenty of fats and protein in your diet. Try snacking on nuts/seeds between meals or making up a protein shake with almond butter in it between meals (again going but what you said you eat vs what you might be missing)

      I use Liquid Health for my spectrum B vitamins and vitamin D. Might look into them, being in liquid form you can just add it to a beverage. Might see about magnesium also, huge issue with many with this disease.

      On other after thought, your probably already very aware of...but you mention your not "diagnosed yet" you will have to do a gluten challenge of eating gluten for a extended amount of time daily prior to getting tested. http://www.cureceliacdisease.org/screening/
    • Thanks guys! I have an endoscopy/colonoscopy  feb 5th, so we will see. I have had digestive issues for the past like 10 years. GERD, migraines, lactose intolerant, dizziness on and off starting last year. My test just always show chronic inflammation, I thought they tested for celiac last time but it was only H. pylori samples. As much as I don’t want to have celiac I’m hoping this could be the root of my problem! My doctor said I should probably go gluten free after the test regardless of the results. You guys have been so helpful!! 
    • Well was trying it in smoothies, and puddings...but yeah  I can see it especially with the jelling effects causing some issues...will try again later. I changed over to pumpkin seeds higher in zinc today for my rotation.

      PS I am allergic to corn..and any kind of sugar messes with me. SO most meds are off limits. I went with Immunity Tea from Republic of tea, Ester-C Capsules, Thayers slippery elm lazenges sugar free, and a zinc Supplement for my remedy. Oh and sugar free meds normally contain that asu what ever stuff......makes me go off the deep end mentally.
  • Upcoming Events