• Ads by Google:
     




    Get email alerts Celiac.com E-Newsletter

    Ads by Google:



       Get email alertsCeliac.com E-Newsletter

  • Announcements

    • admin

      Frequently Asked Questions About Celiac Disease   09/30/2015

      This Celiac.com FAQ on celiac disease will guide you to all of the basic information you will need to know about the disease, its diagnosis, testing methods, a gluten-free diet, etc.   Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts What are the major symptoms of celiac disease? Celiac Disease Symptoms What testing is available for celiac disease? - list blood tests, endo with biopsy, genetic test and enterolab (not diagnostic) Celiac Disease Screening Interpretation of Celiac Disease Blood Test Results Can I be tested even though I am eating gluten free? How long must gluten be taken for the serological tests to be meaningful? The Gluten-Free Diet 101 - A Beginner's Guide to Going Gluten-Free Is celiac inherited? Should my children be tested? Ten Facts About Celiac Disease Genetic Testing Is there a link between celiac and other autoimmune diseases? Celiac Disease Research: Associated Diseases and Disorders Is there a list of gluten foods to avoid? Unsafe Gluten-Free Food List (Unsafe Ingredients) Is there a list of gluten free foods? Safe Gluten-Free Food List (Safe Ingredients) Gluten-Free Alcoholic Beverages Distilled Spirits (Grain Alcohols) and Vinegar: Are they Gluten-Free? Where does gluten hide? Additional Things to Beware of to Maintain a 100% Gluten-Free Diet Free recipes: Gluten-Free Recipes Where can I buy gluten-free stuff? Support this site by shopping at The Celiac.com Store.
  • Celiac.com Sponsor:
    Celiac.com Sponsor:

Over-Helpful Friends?
0

8 posts in this topic

"I made you some gluten free cookies. Come and get some!" was the last thing I heard from a coworker before getting glutened big time on Monday. It was so sweet of her to go out of her way and make me special cookies, but to her "gluten free" and "wheat free" are the same thing, and they definitely weren't gluten free.

Then there was the Subway incident, where Subway sandwiches were served at a gathering and I was told to take the fillings out of as many sandwiches as I wanted since the bread was off limits. When I politely turned down the offer there were some very disappointed faces. In their minds they had "solved" my dilemma by offering fillings, and didn't understand why I would refuse their efforts.

What do you do/say when people go out of their way to try and be helpful, but really miss the mark? I'd much rather they didn't bother to try and accommodate me, and just let me find options on my own that I know are safe. But at the same time I don't want to offend them.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ads by Google:
Ads by Google:


Some times you gotta risk offending. I just make it clear that because we are extremely sensitive we had to have all new cookware or otherwise my OWN cooking was making me sick. They get the idea. Thank them profusely for their efforts, say how delicious the cookies look and that you wish you could eat them, but you just can't take the chance. You need to portray that it is deadly serious that you not be contaminated, not just that you are afraid of a "bellyache". If you show you are that serious, they will get it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gluten isn't my issue but I do have food intolerances and also diabetes. So I just tell people I will take care of my own food. When my daughter was eating gluten-free I only ever once let anyone bake for her. And I didn't really want to do that. My SIL and her sister baked a pie for her. I figured that would be safe since my SIL doesn't generally do any baking or cooking of any kind although I suppose there could have been oast crumbs or something in her kitchen. The crust was really awful. Gritty. But she didn't get sick.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been dealing with this too.

I'm trying to pre-empt any such efforts in advance by telling my friends please, please don't try to make me something "special," although it's very sweet of you to think of me.

I've just had to be up front and explain that I get violently ill if there's any contamination at all along the way, even pretty much microscopic amounts.

It sounds cold, but it's not as bad as saying all this AFTER they've made something.

It's hard. I'm newly diagnosed and trying to get used to this. I'm going to a wedding this weekend and the groom was going to ask his friend the baker to make me some gluten-free cupcakes. I had to say please don't do that, it's complicated but I will get sick.

Mitzi, that's a good idea about saying my own cooking can do it too...

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had to explain to people what I've gone through in my own kitchen to make it safe. I've explained to people that after 10 months, my husband going gluten free, and the fact that I trust him with the life and death decision about whether or not to unplug me after a horrific accident, I still read a label on any food my husband hands me. If it isn't packaged there's an inquisition. This still isn't enough sometimes to convince people that they just can't safely make me food.

I've had people try to force me to eat fruit salad. They've told me it's ridiculous that I won't eat fruit. Well it's ridiculous that I have someone telling me what is and isn't safe for someone with a disease they don't have, don't understand and know next to nothing about. It's ridiculous for someone to make what is essentially a medical decision about my health for me. It's ridiculous for someone to get offended about the fact that I don't want to spend 6 weeks in gluten hell so they aren't offended over the fact that I won't eat a bowl of fruit. And I told them all that too.

I don't do tiptoeing. I don't like the simple "no thank you" or "I'm not hungry" approach because it doesn't deter repeat offenders. I will explain simply that I'm sorry but it simply isn't safe for me to eat food prepared in other people's homes. When they get offended though, frankly that offends me. What right do they have to be offended that I don't want to be sick and miserable or that I want to protect my health? Maybe it isn't the best approach but I tell them then exactly what I think of their reaction and how absurd it is. My disease isn't about them. I didn't ask them to make me food, I never asked to be accommodated. I'm more than happy to eat the snacks I carry in my purse. After 10 months this is more or less a non-issue for me. I'll be damned if I let someone else own my illness and health problems and turn it into how I offended them by daring to be born genetically flawed.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ads by Google:


I just went to a wedding reception Saturday evening. The bride offered to get something gluten-free for me and I told her I'd rather bring my own food. I thanked her for thinking of me but told her how easy it is to cross contaminate, and she was fine with that.

This reception was outdoors and there was a picnic-style buffet. I brought a chicken sandwich on Udi's and no one questioned it. If they had, so what? I'd tell them I had food allergies (because that's easier for them to understand) and leave it at that.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always try to head people off when they tell me they'll make something gluten-free for me. I politely tell them that if I don't make it, I can't eat it. Cross contamination is hard to understand to the degree we have to.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree - it's best to nip it in the bud at the risk of offending someone. I have heard "it's gluten free, I used whole wheat flour"....huh. Also, even if they use gluten-free ingredients they are no doubt baking/making it in gluteny pans or cutting boards or colanders, whatever....you are going to get zinged.

One of my kids' friends mom made gluten-free peanut butter cookies - I was in a hurry and took a bite and drove off and my stomach was already cramping...tossed it. Thank goodness I only took a bite.

Someone brought gluten-free muffins to work - I declined & had to politely tell them their muffin tin would be all gluteny, and added don't worry about me, I am very particular and look after myself (ie. please don't try to make anything else!).

My neighbor made gluten-free squares and gave me one while we were sitting together. She's quite old & I didnt' want to offend her so I took a small bite off the top and told her they were good (she then gave me the recipe). While she was distracted I, uh, got rid of it - didn't want to eat the bottom part that was touching the pans. Funny huh ???

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      107,045
    • Total Posts
      933,989
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      64,622
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    LouiseBea
    Joined
  • Popular Now

  •  

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Hi I was wondering if anyone knew if red rose tea bags were gluten free? I have been drinking this tea for years now and the past few weeks I have not been able to drink it. I get cramps in my lower abdomen and this morning I got nauseated. I was wondering if this is something to do with the tea?
    • @LouiseBea Welcome!  Has celiac disease (dermatitis herpetiformis, skin version) been ruled out?  DH treatment requires a life-long gluten free diet.  
    •  I'm a new member and totally frustrated with Dapsone which has done absolutely nothing for my autoimmune skin disease.  This is a condition where the white blood cells attack the skin, and it's been on-going for 6 years.  Only 1 in 2,000 have this rare disease so zero research has been done unfortunately.  My dermatologist put me on a stronger dose which merely worsened it.  So back to the drawing board of what to do.  Redirecting the white blood cells must be an impossible task to figure out, but in this age of technology surely some doctor, chemist, etc., could come up with a solution? I've read where many people become antibiotic resistant and this may have happened to me.  I'm sick to death of my problematic skin, and any suggestions would be helpful.    
    • Hello and welcome It's true that there's a connection between thyroid conditions and celiac.  Loose stools and other digestion issues can be symptoms of celiac and you should definitely explore this issue with your doctor. This is the full celiac panel, try and get as many of these as available to you: Anti-Gliadin (AGA) IgA
      Anti-Gliadin (AGA) IgG
      Anti-Endomysial (EMA) IgA
      Anti-Tissue Transglutaminase (tTG) IgA
      Deamidated Gliadin Peptide (DGP) IgA and IgG
      Total Serum IgA You must be eating some gluten each day up to the test date for an accurate response.  Here's some more info. Also check out the forum FAQ   Best of luck    
    • This is a really good serum for moms to reduce dark circles and Puffiness.My mom really liked it and she uses it everyday. I thought it might feel sticky as it dries or sinks in but it doesn’t.It minimizes the dark circles under your eyes and its results get better over time.You don't need to use a lot, a tiny amount will do. If you use too much it could feel sticky. Overall, Excellent product for sensitive skin! And its fragrance free. Very happy with dermalmd's serum and would recommend it to anyone with skin that tends to react to most other creams
  • Upcoming Events