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SnoBaby

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About SnoBaby

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  1. I want to clarify one point. It's not that I 'expcted' my husband to communicate this to them so much as it was the fact that he was on the phone with them a few days before our trip, and when I walked in, he said, "Mom wants to know what you need from the store." I interpreted this to mean he had told her about my being gluten-free and she wanted to stock up on my needs. I told him to let her know we would do a grocery run ourselves and not to worry about it. (Having said this, could she really have been so put out by my need for shelf space?) I realize I could have done more to make sure she was informed. I don't remove myself from all responsibility, but I made some assumptions based on that information and the conversation 'I thought' he had with them.
  2. Thank you, each of you, for taking the time to respond with your individual perspectives. I truly appreciate it. I think there are overlapping issues to consider from last week, from my husband's passivity in not informing his mother before we arrived, to the fact that I did not speak up as soon as I was being treated in a manner I wasn't comfortable with. It's given me a lot to think about, and it has helped me to process my feelings, so I can begin to move on from them and make behavioral changes in myself such as requiring people to respect my boundaries (even if I am a guest in their home). Thank you.
  3. When compared to your MIL, who was willing to put some gluten in your food as a "test," you're right. Mine wasn't as bad. She did seem to completely understand the medical need for me to be off gluten. I think she really doesn't handle change well. And, it was a complete disruption to her routine for us to show up having changed our diet and not being able to eat the food she'd planned to prepare for us. She even expressed that she would have made the gluten free meals if she'd known before we arrived. So, I know she was completely thrown off. I know the statements, in black and white, really don't look that bad. They're just statements. But, I grew up in the South, and I have come to appreciate something called Southern Hospitality. If someone came to my house with a few extra things, I would never tell her, "I don't know where you're going to put that," I'd smile and freakin' find a place to put the stuff. But, that's not how she operates, and I know this. So, I guess I'm expecting a behavior from her that she is not inclined to demonstrate. I'll get over it. Just, right now, I'm hurt. And, most of all by that last comment which really was hurtful. Had the trip ended before that comment was made, I'd have a much easier time of shrugging this off as her being flustered by such a change in plans. That last comment though was just mean and unecessary.
  4. I am so sad right now, and disappointed. I have known my husband's family for sixteen years. And, although his mother can "have her moments" of being snippy, I have always gotten along very well with her. We visit once a year (sometimes twice). We stay at their house b/c they live out of state and would never want us to stay in a hotel. I try so hard to be respectful of her space by going around making sure the kids' things are picked up, offering to help her in the kitchen when she's preparing meals, helping to clean up afterwards. We have always generally gotten along, until this trip. Here's what happened... So, I learned of my Celiac diagnosis just after we saw them last (at Christmas). And, although my husband is very understanding about the diagnosis and my serious need to be gluten-free, he never told his parents about it before we came to visit. It just didn't occur to him. And, honestly, I wasn't going to expect her to alter her entire meal preparations for me, so I had planned on buying my gluten-free foods when we arrived. Well, she wasn't happy about the whole situation, to say the least. Just a few of the comments she made during the visit... "I don't know where you're going to put all of that. I don't have much room in the fridge." "You're not going to be able to pack all of that to take home with you." "You need to find somewhere for your bags of stuff." And, the worst one, after a week of biting my lip, taking a walk so I could cry alone... "You'd better stop eating all that crap. Just because it says gluten free doesn't mean you should eat it. You're going to gain all that weight back that you lost, and then you'll be pissed." I just thank God she saved that one for the day we were leaving. I couldn't take any more. (I had spent the entire weak eating pretty healthy stuff. I had allowed myself a couple of exceptions b/c we were on vacation, but it's not like I was gorging myself on a pile of gluten-free processed crap.) Now, I understand that she was thrown off track by the fact that we didn't prepare her before our arrival that something major had changed. That might excuse her feeling frustrated or inconvenienced, since she probably planned for and purchased food based on the old way. But, that doesn't excuse her verbal abuse. I am so hurt. I would NEVER choose to be in the presence of someone who verbally abuses me the way she did. NEVER. My husband is not like that at all. If anything he is very passive and non-confrontational (perhaps as a result of having to tune out her comments all during his upbringing). After that trip I let him know that I understand that is "the way she is," and I cannot control her behavior. She's a grown woman. But, I can control my behavior, and I will never again put myself in that position. I will not stay in her house or rely on her for food, space, whatever. How do I deal with this woman? Right now, I just don't ever want to talk to or see her again, which I know is unrealistic. I've thought about writing her a letter, but her sister did once and she talked to the whole family about how stupid it was. I'm sure her sister would have loved to know what was being said about the effort to reach out and address a problem the two of them were having in their communication. I would appreciate any suggestions, thoughts, comments.
  5. Thank you. That clarifies a question that popped up but I didn't ask. However, I should have also clarified that the allergy shots I've been getting are not for food allergies but for environmental ones (grasses, mite/mold, etc). [don't know if that makes a difference in responding to my original post or not.]
  6. Thank you for the comic relief. I really needed it this morning. I was having a little pity party about coping with diagnosis. :-)
  7. I have been getting allergy shots for the past month, and I only went off gluten a week ago. Here's what I'm wondering... If allergy shots are supposed to trigger an immune system response in order to build up your tolerance to the allergen, can they be successful if they are being administered when the patient's immune system is weakened (ie. a patient who has Celiac but was eating gluten)? Also, I asked my doctor about food allergy testing, but that leads me to another question... if I have Celiac disease, what does testing me for allergies to "wheat," and "rye," etc result in? I know that Celiac is not an allergy. I'm just wondering what the outcome should be regarding an "allergy" response.
  8. Thank you so much Mushroom. You just confirmed what I had been thinking- face the truth I already know (or know fully now) and move forward with a gluten free life, healthy life.
  9. I'd like to make this as brief as possible, but I'm not sure how well I'll succeed in that effort. Bear with me. I am very optimistic in the possibility that I may have found the missing piece of a puzzle I didn't know I was putting together. Ok...here's what I know. I was a very sickly baby. My mom said I had been diagnosed with "malabsorption syndrome" and she also referred to it as "failure to thrive." I was put on a gluten-free diet, and that solved the problems I had as an infant. Then, somewhere around middle school I began eating gluten. The story I've been telling (and believed to be true) was that I saw the doctor and was given the "all-clear" that I was fine, no longer had a problem. Recently, I asked my mom what happened, and she said the doctor said they didn't have to monitor me as closely anymore, that the gluten-free diet was working. (Why I started eating gluten, I don't know.) So, many years pass, and I have various health issues that bug me.... Nutrition Deficiency Regularly fatigued since I don't know how long. Depression Anemia Multiple sinus infections every year (getting allergy shots now to work on that lovely problem) Last year I went to the doctor b/c I was so fatigued, hair was falling out, and I had numbness in my fingers in both hands. She tested my thyroid, but it was fine. She said the tingling was probably carpel tunnell and the rest was stress. (I did ask at that time if maybe I should be tested for gluten sensitivity b/c I had it when I was young, but she seemed to think I would be much sicker if that were the issue. So, I dismissed it.) I have had periods of wellness. And, in looking back, they were the times I was on a weightloss diet that happened to have little or no gluten...strictly lean proteins, fruits, veggies. That kind of thing. So, here I am today...putting 2 and 2 together. A friend just told me she was diagnosed with Celiac disease and one of the prior events that clued her doctor in (in hindsight after some other serious symptoms) was when she came in with fatigue, hair falling out, and numbness/tingling in both hands. OK...so, here's what I know. I have at the very least a real, already diagnosed gluten-sensitivity. And, at worst I have Celiac Disease. What I don't know is the following... 1. Are the terms my mom refers to just what they called Celiac disease back in 74 before they named it, or could it be something else? 2. Does it matter enough for me to seek an official, up-to-date diagnosis from a doctor as to what I have (Celiac or gluten-sensitivity)? I know that to do so would mean I need to keep eating gluten until all testing is done, but it seems like I already have a diagnosis. I just ignored it. Right? 3. Is there a way for me to track down and get my hands on the medical records from my infancy? (Aside from perhaps calling that doctor's office, assuming he's still in practice.) Is there some national medical records registry or something? 4. What else do I need to know/do besides "cut out gluten"? If doing so will resolve the issues I've been having, do I really need to go see a doctor (or multiple ones) just to get them to confirm what I already know? I appreciate your suggestions/input. I do feel really stupid for not connecting the dots sooner.
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