Hello, I am new to this forum, but not new to celiac disease. I've had celiac my entire life, but I just found out I had it about 9 months ago. I've had symptoms my entire life. My husband and 2 children eat gluten, so there's lots of accidental glutening going on as much as I try to prevent it, and they refuse to go gluten-free. I don't want to get into an argument with anyone on here about that, this is a personal family choice, so let's leave this at that. I'm extremely sensitive to gluten. One tiny breadcrumb will give me a bad rash and fever among other things (I have lots of symptoms when it comes to gluten). My biggest problem is my stomach, I'm constantly having stomach pain/problems even though I eat gluten-free/gluten-free foods. I suffer daily from celiac pain even though I eat gluten-free and it makes me depressed. I've been eating gluten-free for 9 months now and I thought I would be done with this now. I eat a lot of foods like soups and pastas and sometimes breads that are considered gluten-free (I always go for certified if I can find it) but I eat other things like chicken and veggies and fruits too. I guess I thought my symptoms would be gone by now. I've had bad reactions to gluten-free foods before and even my small intestine has hurt and I've had black diarrhea from eating said food so I'm always super careful. I'm just having a really hard time coping with all of this. My entire life it was never this bad. About 4 years ago I got really sick and I started throwing up blood and I gained 10lbs from bloating and I looked like I was pregnant. After that I just kept losing weight until I got down to 96lbs. Once I started eating gluten-free I gained a lot of weight and now I'm back to a normal weight. I guess my main problem here is I'm depressed a lot of the time because I'm in pain so much still even though I'm eating gluten-free and I don't understand why. I'm also depressed that the things I can eat is so tiny. I live in Hawai'i and the options here suck. Idk if it's better elsewhere but I feel like everything I loved to eat is gone and all I'm left with is just food that tastes bad and I'm having a really hard time getting over that. It's even harder watching my husband and 2 kids eat delicious things that I can't even eat and it hurts me that I can't eat it too. Idk how to get over that, or if I will ever get over that. I would never, ever eat gluten, I'm way too scared to because when I was eating it I was super super sick, plus I know it causes damage to my small intestine so that's just not something I want to do. I guess I'm just having a hard time coping. Idk if I just need more time to get used to eating gluten-free or if it's something else I need help with. Any advice on how to cope would be much appreciated.