GFzinks09's Blog

So today was my first ever solo lecture for the undergraduate students! It was a lot more prep work and took forever to make the slideshow. I never appreciated the work our teachers put in before! I was so excited and I would say it went well. There were definitely times in the class when people looked bored/confused/or just upset they had to sit through class. I tried not to let it throw me off but it was difficult.

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It's hard to stare at 12 students who aren't really engaged. I felt a little like I had failed because I was worried I didn't get through to them. The lead professor of the course sat down with me after for constructive criticism. She assured me I did well and it all comes with time. I think those feelings of insecurity about my performance were certainly eased quite a bit. I was feeling like they had entrusted me to teach them and I didn't really live up to the expectations. Apparently when students don't prep for class they will be lost and there is nothing you can do (another thing I took for granted during school - the professors really do know who gets it and who doesn't).

I am learning to slow down my delivery as well. I can get off on tangents from being too excited or trying to entertain but I think I will have to pull back. Not everyone can keep up with such a level of excitement. After a great day of meetings and seeing old teachers etc I went for a 6 mile run and then met up with my best friend since 7th grade for dinner. A great gluten free feast at PF Changs!

It was just a good day for once. Just felt so right. It's nice to finally be turning this corner. This week in psycho-soc management we talked about loss, grief, and coping. The teacher asked me to share my story about loss and how I managed after my best friend was murdered a year and half ago. Normally this alone would have thrown me off course for days but today I just bounced right back. Went to meets, made some jokes, and enjoyed a great dinner with an old friend. Oh, and I educated the bar tender that "no ciroc vodka is not the only thing in the bar I can drink".