Kaycee's Blog

Another episode in going gluten free. As you can see it has been a battle and a long journey, and now six months later I am still getting there with my food woes. I do embrace the diet, but it has been a slow journey to get to here.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A13):
 

1 Feb

Hot night. Jim is relaxing as after yesterday, he is totally whacked. He gets impatient about not coming right.

2 February, 2006

Went to Dargaville with Jim. He kept going on about not feeling right. So I told him to go to the Doctor, and he did. He is still recovering from heat stroke, so he needs another week off work. He worries so much and makes me worry. Apparently otherwise he is fine!! Come next week he will be worrying again!

Have not got my results back from blood test. Went to Burger King and I had a burger (What was I thinking?) Now three hours later, not feeling too wonderful but coming right. Ryan still goes on about his health, he should go to the doctor.

3 February

First day back at work, teachers only, cool.

Meetings all day till about 2.30pm

Morning tea and lunch were put on, but could I eat any? No way.

Jim took us out to tea. Just to show me how hard it is to avoid flour, I am sure. I did ring up to find out my blood test results. Everything fine, I was told. I asked even for the gluten intolerance results, but was told, oh, they’re not back yet. Maybe next week.

It is hot, not feeling too great. Worked too hard? (I worked out it was the hapuka steaks (Fish) we had eating out, was probably coated in flour, I was still learning.

4 February

Tired today. Felt so worn out, and that is only after one day at work.

Went to supermarket in town and you know what, the bread smelt yuck. Not very inviting at all. Thankfully.

Had a lot to drink, but it don’t seem to have gone to my head.

I feel my problems are not being appreciated by Jim. I need support. It is not easy having a sore head for a month. It is getting to me. But Jim is sick as well.

5 February

Went to Hot Rod car show. It was hot but good. I’m still moaning about everything. Jim is much better.

6 February

According to Jim, did not a lot. Cleaned our room out. I am a bit better. Had a hard night trying to sleep as it was a bit sore (jaw).

7th February

A long day, right into work.

Still no results and it is getting to be a pain watching all the bread going down people’s throats. Ear, or whatever still annoys. Feeling sorry for myself, that I am.

9 February

Still no results. Pigged out on 4 biscuits and got crook. Burps and sore stomach.

11 February

Me thinks my head is getting better.

Me felt sorry for myself this morning.

Rang my sister Liz and she thinks her problem was the water, but considers herself a bit intolerant to gluten. I still think I am intolerant. I feel so much better without it. But I felt low today.

12 February

Lazy day.

Noticed a rash I have on my leg has disappeared . A bit like my wart on my thumb, nearly gone. But the rash is an interesting one. It was more red than itchy, and no problem. Lack of gluten killed it. Or lack of yeast. Getting used to no gluten. Stomach is good, unless my head has got good powers of persuasion.

13 February

Jane, Dr’s nurse rang up to say my test came back as weakly positive for coeliac. Made an appointment for tomorrow. (I initially thought, I was only looking for an intolerance, not coeliac! Okay weakly positive is not too bad. But then I thought hell, that means the same results, no gluten ever)

14 February

Went to Doctors and it is all positive and no mention it might not be. So I have had my last sandwich, and I have learnt how to spell a new word and that would be coeliac.

Most well, a few know at work. (The boss has had stomach complaints and has been checked for coeliac but his results have always been negative, so he knows what I am facing)

Feeling a bit like I am running around in rings. Nearly cried at the doctors, had to pull myself together.

15 February

First day of the rest of my life. It is quite time consuming and mind blowing. But I got to eat. But I don’t get nearly as hungry.

Rang mum and dad this morning and Liz this afternoon. Hopefully they will check themselves (So far only dad has)

16 February

Another day, pretty tired. Off to work. Slept better last night.

17 February

Tired tonight. Coping okay with diagnosis. Just think poison. I’ve been trying to kill myself for year. Suicidal.

I was all ready to have a nasi goreng after talking to the guy at the Chinese, but I’m too scared to eat something I can’t read a label for. Silly I know, but I am scared of food.

Am on my second rum, but I have not really had tea, unless you call 4 pieces of chocolate tea.

18 February

Not much sleep last night. Walked dog.

Went to Burger King, thinking I will be fine while they ate, but no, I could not sit there. All of a sudden it got too hard to sit at BK, not that I was hungry or felt I was missing out. But I was going to cry so I had to go. Still wanted to bawl when I got home, so once Jim went to have his nanny nap, I took off and walked for a couple of hours. I probably shouldn’t have as I was tired and hardly ate all day. Weight is just dropping off. My relationship to food has changed. It is more an enemy than a pleasure.

Ryan says I repeat myself. And I am so sure I do. It gives me a chance to adapt to this and all the woe is me stuff. Then I will be able to think about something else, apart from me.

20 February

I think everyday is getting better. Still probably tired, and a bit foggy.

Leewyn asked if I could do Oscar (after school care) every Friday night. I probably won’t do it. Need to put myself first. Maybe next term I can take on more. But I think my new diet and circumstances are about all the extra I can handle Emotions are pretty raw at present. Just need time to get back up. Working 6 hours a day, is plenty long enough.

21 February

Good day. Still tired and not sleeping as well. Keep with the walking.

22 February

Still sleep problems. But no overeating problem. Food no problems. Bread still stinks.

Worrying about Ryan and Brad’s results. Got to stay strong for them, even if I feel like falling over.

24 February

Worked late.

Was going to do the nasi goreng thing, but still not ready.

25 February

My library commitment day. Once every 6 weeks at the community library. There were two books sitting on the table beside me, as if waiting for me, about coeliac. They belonged to another library and needed returning. Barb offered to take them down and have them issued to her and give them to me. So I have read all of the relevant pieces. They were so good. Fog is lifting and I am sure, and I am no where repeating myself as much. So they can’t take the mickey out of me as much.

I actually made a gluten free chocolate cake that Ryan loved. I’m getting good.

26 February

A good day yesterday. A bad day today. Been to the toilet a bit. Feel seedy. Pondered on what I had eaten.

27 February

Felt sick after I got to work. What from I don’t know, only for about an hour, then right as rain.

Got Ryan and Brad’s results back and they were normal. Brad is yay, Ryan is “Oh my god, what is wrong with me” He was convinced he had coeliac, but he doesn’t have.

28 February

Not the greatest day. Still a bit off colour. No diarrhoea, just my stomach, well intestines, just know it is there. Probably seedy. But not nice. Will have to change to more foods from scratch. And I was doing so well, but something has crept in.

1 March

Under 12 stone, just lovely

Bad day. Since Sunday not been tip top. Feel like I want to go to the loo, as in diarrhoea, but nothing much to show for it. Came home early after lunch as felt rotten. Had to let Leewyn down as she wanted me to do after school care, but I just couldn’t Probably was the lentils. (I am looking into peanut allergy, and watching legumes now as well)

2 March

Another day. Still trying to eat right so I don’t feel yuck. So hard, so hard. Bowels still not right after Sundays food. I’m a worry. If it don’t come right off to docs.

Went to see Lil. She has her health woes too and needs to loose weight, have her blood pressure go down and same for her cholesterol.

Spent an hour at the supermarket and got totally depressed. Woe is me. Roll on weekend. Do the beach to basin walk on Sunday, so I best be well.

3 March

Bad day today. Must’ve been a Friday. Feeling a bit under the weather. Things, are getting better, but I am feeling as if a cold is coming on.

Felt a bit low, worry about myself.

4 March

Walked Poppy. Went to Dargaville field days with Jim. Saw a few people we knew.

Went to see my Aunt. Good to see her. Told her about my health and she quite understands it and is quite sympathetic. Frances called me a little bit queer. An endearment I am sure, especially from a nearly 80 year old.

5 March

Did the beach to basin walk, took 49 minutes. Proud of myself. Am getting a cold, but it did not make any difference to my energy. Tired now though. Been on my feet all day. Stomach has settled down.

6 March

A bit croaky, but workable

7 March

Still croaky, but had a bit of a cough last night and again at work. So went to chemist to get a cough mixture, without gluten. Think I have got the right one. But is was amazing how many have gluten in them.

Boss tole me off as he don’t like the coffee I had bought. Tough I told him.

8 March

Still croaking. Was worried about a spot on my left cheek. So much so made an appointment with Dr later today.

Spot will come out. It is probably a cyst or something. Out next Wednesday. Ouch. Well I could’ve left it but then that would bug me. What is a scar?

I actually had a steak fried rice from the takeaways at the roundabout. It was yum and I felt rather brave. Still fine so it must’ve been okay. But that has been my first takeaway meal in about 3 weeks.

9 March

It must’ve been okay, no reactions.

Thinking whether doing right thing about getting spot removed, Well it has only been around 4-5 weeks and quite noticeable, so I would rather take it out now rather than see if it would grow bigger, Better a small scar than a larger one.

10March

Jim’s birthday, 51 today

Was a good day until I got hungry. Hungry all day actually. But more so at tea time, supper time. I just wanted a chocolate biscuit. I’d had enough of not being able to eat this nor that. But I held off and just ate everything else!

25 March

Went shopping

Bad mood. Bad mood. Grumpy and angry.

Jim been torturing me with food. When I say I’m not hungry, I don’t want chips waved in front of my face.

I had some flour tonight. A little bag of grain waves and a little bit of KFC I waited. I shouldn’t of had, but sooner or later I would have.

26 March

I am fine this morning, wasn’t too great last night. My stomach is a bit off, but only a little

27 March

Bad day. Down in dumps.

Cry baby.

30 March

Needed to get out and walk. So I left the dog and walked for about 2 and a half hours

31 March

Things like food choices are getting narrower and narrower. But that didn’t stop me grabbing a chilli philli pour over and scoffing the lot!