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October 2019



Well the end of this last month has given me some new perspectives and thoughts.
Ever been in pain to the point where crazy, dumb, and bad ideas seem plausible? I am laying on the floor with the waves of pain thinking stuff like, Maybe if I take some Benzocaine gel put it in a capsule and swallow it I can numb this, perhaps I can mix it up in a enema? or the concept of wanting to reach up there and rub pain killing cream inside my intestines sounds pleasent.....
The pain is odd,,,it comes in waves moving in getting worse to the point of me losing focus in my eyes and freezing up, then the endorphins kick in and I feel euphoric feeling for a split second and relax then it repeats a bit later. Sometimes it even just has me laying on the floor, my trackers has recorded my resting heartbeat to be 10-20 beats higher then normal since this began.
As of now the bleeding has gone from complete red to pink, but the anemia leaves black circles under my eyes like a anime character in their death scene -_-.
The pea protein I normally use for iron is causing gas...I have changed over to red 96% lean grass fed beef...I am putting it in water and boiling it then simmering it for a hour or two mixing in a cold blend of collagen protein and bone broth powder heating it back up. I am eating with my paleo bread and sometimes cooking in egg whites. Only using herbs to season it.
To be honest...the meat is a bit  tough to digest still and is easier just to eat tar tar.....and oddly craved this way but I blame the anemia.

I am having a hard time thinking of much else.....the pain is constantly occupying my thoughts I will probably post a V2 when I can think clearly.
UPDATE, well I am doing a bit better, hardly any bleeding, going carnivore keto really stopped the gas/bloat. My father offered me some baclofen RX muscle relaxers and it stopped the cramping twisting feeling but left the stabbing pains. I then started acetaminophen and it numbed the stabbing pain but the cramping is back  lol
I called my GI doc and left a message I will take him up on that delzicol RX he was pushing on me earlier in the year.

Oddly I am drinking less, eating smaller meals, and even reduced my magnesium significantly...I had to knock my coffee down to 1-2 oz of decaf a day while upping my B-vitamins.
As of this morning I have lost 4lbs in the past few days...
Good news I am reading a lot more books on my kindle as I am stuck laying down (oddly with a stationary bike on the bed to pedal), I also had to give up my work out ruteine and instead just pace..the crunches, sit ups, etc move my gut too much.



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