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About this blog

Daily little things that happen, and how I deal with life in general as a super sensitive celiac with a broken body and a limited diet. Along with my daily blunt and broken thought processes.

Entries in this blog


Corn Conundrum

So I am allergic to corn...in a odd way. Corn starch, corn flour, corn syrup, corn oil will give me blood blister in my mouth and a 99-103F fever. Skin contact will cause a red sunburn looking rash that if not washed will start getting more like poison ivy....
Some derivatives from corn do not bother me, xylitol, erythritol, fibersol, etc.
I used to think citric acid and xantham gum from corn were in this line up as they failed to give me the mouth blisters but apparently it has other effects.

I have been using Daiya cheese in my Paleo catering business, I had someone else contact me with a corn allergy pointing out it contained corn....there is non in the ingredients...I do not eat it because the xantham gum makes me feel a bit nauseated. I emailed Daiya and learned the citric acid and xantham gum are made from corn. I proceeded to force myself to eat 2-3 slices of the cheese a day as a test.....no mouth sores....BUT I did start getting a low grade fever...but it was quite delayed. The late onset of the reaction makes me think the proteins I react to are mostly broken down but still present to be found by my gut. (much like some can have a lesser reaction to gluten removed beers as some of the proteins are broken down)

I have since contacted many companies to find what is what with corn. I have found Miyoko, and Leaf Cuisine Cheeses do not contain corn at all. Kite hill the ricotta, plain, and the dill and chive is safe. Pamela Creamery...the melt cheeses contain corn. So delicious contains cornstarch. Waiting to hear back from Lisanatti, and Tree line.

I found that some condiments I was using from Sir Kingstons the citric acid is sugar can derived but the few with xantham gum are corn but they swear the end product is processed enough that the proteins are not present where it could illicit a allergic reaction.
Primal Kitchen is Corn Free
I am waiting on Organicville to get back to me.

Still waiting a few other companies to come through on these things I will post comments on this on anything else I might find.




July Update

July update,
I am really pushing catering...I have to. Trouble at the market with a new baker is driving me mad, late onset gluten exposure + her new ideas....it had me suicidal at my purpose and reason for being alive being taken away. Frankly my Saturday sales....used to be $30-120 a saturday, she has come along and started offering "Gluten Free" and refined sugar free baked goods out of her gluten kitchen with, with warnings. And my saturday profits are in the hole with -$20 to a maximum of $26. Most my customers were Fad dieters. She is selling to them and is extremely charismatic, pushing her foods on people giving away samples of both gluten and gluten free foods....she is claiming 40 years experience and that her parents were pastry chefs.
She is over qualified, she also sells arts and crafts, does music and instrument lessons, does cake decorating classes, cooking classes, she just moved here and took over. I was talking with her about sending her celiac customers to me since I can meet the medical gluten free needs (my sole purpose for being alive) and she says....that she has gotten new equipment for doing gluten free dedicated......I mention flour stays airborne for hours...and she says she will cook the gluten free on a different day...well yeah but that flour is going to settle on your gluten free cooking stuff......she is insisting she can do it......crap....I had a melt down when I got home.

My issues.....My brain damage took away my dreams of doing computer programing, my nerve damage took away my love of games, and I can not work controls precise enough now to enjoy or compete on them. This works with cooking as I can cut myself and glue it shut, burn myself and keep going.....
I have autism not much choice but this makes social interactions and promoting a business damn hard, talking to engaging people requires me to constantly tell myself to "look them in eye" "engage them" "try to find common ground" and constantly fight the urges to say what I want. I have to be alone a good part of the day and process things, go over things, and run scenarios in my head. I can not deal with people constantly.
Cooking is all I have left, my dad told me that this disease is a guiding light to show me what to do with my life...I started baking to give myself purpose when I was previously running a bucket list. THIS IS MY LIFE. My only reason to be alive is to cook, bake, and help people on these forums. Other wise I am a burden to my family...they have to pay for my medical expenses and rent. HELL the only thing keeping me from stupid things is 1. I have a lizard that needs me to keep it. 2. My insurance on my life has a suicide clause in effect. 3. The forums where I am needed to help people.

I took all my savings...even for my planned surgery to remove the infected abscess in my upper jaw...and used it to invest in catering pans, fuel, utensils etc......frack if the infection kills me at least life insurance will still pay out, I need a reason to live. I am lining up catering contracts with a church and my highschool class reunion.....hoping to get a investor for that food truck....hell might try asking on reddit lol.

Life otherwise is quite uneventful and my mind is swamped with trying to fix these issues at hand....I can not think of anything else other then finding my purpose in life. I wrote up a letter explaining my situation for the other baker......I think I will email it to her...it was emotional and pointing out that despite her good intentions she is a very negative influence to my life and well being.....




Olive Oil, Celiac, Sales, Life

Well I made a amazing discovery about my olive allergy....its not olives.
I got some olive oil on 2 occasions in the past year, that upon putting it on my finger and licking it my mouth goes numb and my cheeks, tongue and throat swell followed by vomiting.
I have had some vegan cheese, and some sauces with "olive oil" that doe not do this.
I recently got some really high end olive oil with truffle oils in it.....no reaction, I can swish it even and NO reaction.....I think they are cutting the cheaper olive oiles with like some form for corn or other oil? Odd as corn normally forms blood blisters or a rash....wondering if different chains in the oil protein wise? Maybe something else? Who knows.

I must admit sales suck recently, NO baked goods sold in 2 weeks. My catering has died down, heck we had to THROW away ribeyes this week because no one would order them even on special discounts. Artisan blends of almond butters have cut back, seems the only thing selling is our vegan ice cream at least to some degree.
I DO have big money jobs booked for later in the year.....but for now I am struggling to get by.

I have been trying to get my dad a motorcycle for his birthday coming up, being broke and no income, I decided to sell some assets. I have 2 guns that I had gotten 1 as a gift and one to go hunting with my dad (he no longer can). I have had the worst luck trying to sell them or trade them.......even listing $300 below msrp.

OH and I no longer will tell people "I have Celiac Disease" when describing why I am gluten free or why I sell gluten free baked goods. I found the term "Disease" kills the whole subject. Instead I tell people "I have have a GENETIC CONDITION, that will not let me eat wheat or gluten" and my immune system reacts to it attacking my organs. This seems to smooth over better then a "Disease" which scares off people




June Update

Few issues at the market with another baker showing trying to sell gluten free, she also does gluten foods in the same kitchen so I ended up in big debate. She has Made in a kitchen that handles gluten, wheat on all her stuff...but since she showed up my sales have dropped by half. Leading to even more stressful life. LOL my only purpose for living is cooking for others that require gluten free and helping out on this site.....like that is my primary drive in life aside from body building.

Redid the menu for my bakery, I started a dedicated paleo cooking page and trying to get more jobs in my chef area.....fracked up part is I had a cancellation on a pork stir fry...and been stuck with the ingredients for 3 days now no one even taking up on the offer for a free meal.....from a chef perspective this is the BIGGEST hit to my self esteem and confidence in my cooking.....makes you extremely depressed.

Family should be helping me to pay for this surgery for my tooth in September, so I need to hold out til then with this dang infection. thing has the most random flares.

Months of working on getting 2 out of the 3 freezers  got to work without any issues.....I have a bit under $1000 invested in them...not bad considering their prices are $1200-$2000 each new...just a tad depressing to have to keep working on them.

Dairy Free ice cream catering should be starting soon at the market as soon as I can afford that dang health permit for that part of the venture.

I have discovered a few odd things with my gut recently, 1. I have a Slight allergy to olives still, I tried some olive oil and had light tightness in the throat, numbing of the mouth.
2. THIS one is odd, Caffeinated coffee flares my UC slightly.....De Caf does not bother it...then I tried caffeine pills...no probably SO the assumption is that perhaps the unwashed plain coffee has more acids? Decaf normally goes through a soak or wash and I am thinking this neutralizes something that is setting off my UC. Regardless I am happy that I can still have my coffee and caffeine

Now if only I had more balance to my life REALLY annoying with money issues as of late.....stuff I do to get by is slowly getting to me.




Mind set Summary

First off, I am not depressed or suicidal just have a messed up perspective.

I have enjoyed life for awhile recently without worry, and stress. I have this perspective, I have a infection that is getting worse, drugs do not stop it, and I can not get surgery due to money. So I life life to the best trying to bucket list on a budget knowing I could die any day when it spreads to lymph or blood and reaches my brain or heart. I die naturally life insurance will pay my funeral, my will ensures that those close benefit from my belongings, my funeral is planned out wonderfully in it, and I will no longer stress my family with having to pay up for my living expenses. I just feel more freedom with the whole "I am going to die soon what does it matter" perspective and live life trying not to think of how I will feed myself next month, or what the market will be like, etc.

Life summary, bakery has sucked recently, local stores carry gluten free goods, and price wise I can not beat, only 2-3 customers will pay premium for my fresh baked goods. My food, supplement, and living expenses exceed disability and bakery income by $200-400 a month. My family is helping but I am a burden, but try to help out where I can. I have Ulcerative Colitis...look up the long term aspects for that ....yeah.

My diet is very limited, I have to eat blended liquid soft meals 2 times a day, only one semi solid meal. I love cooking for others and catering at just above my cost....I look forward to doing it gluten, corn, dairy, grain free....because I can put some to the side like meats,...and chew it and taste it making sure it is right before having to spit it in the trash knowing I can not digest it or the spices will flare my UC.

My whole food truck dream, well we now have 2 other food truck here in town....non gluten free but they would still limit customers and I can not compete locally price wise...but oh well I can not find a investor, I am broke, no credit......yeah.

My most enjoyable thing every day is helping people here on these forums, like literally it is so great knowing I at least can still help people and serve a use to society. Also I enjoy creating flavors with extracts everyday and looking forward to food holidays.

Social Anxiety and Introverted nature have gotten worse....like I require headphones to leave my safe bubble, and I have to be alone in my house for extended amounts of time to recharge. Time limit outside my home is like 4-6 hours before I start feeling anxious/cornered.

I am torn in life, I can sell some stuff and assets I have, and go 3 ways. I have one shot this year at this and have to make the choice.
1. I can fix this tooth...have miserable days without that live life for the moment knowing I will not die soon but later for autoimmune complications or random anaphylactic shock, budgeting with money slowly driving my family into the ground.
2. I can buy a motor cycle and share it with my dad, and knock one off the bucket list. Gain feeling of freedom, and save on gas money for grocery store runs.
3. I can buy some catering equipment and try to further my business in a semi futile manner and see if I can get investors for the truck showing off my skills. Perhaps flip my life?




May Updat

So I was also bidding on this nice impinger oven, I held the high bid by a miracle for almost 20 days, I also had a heated cabinet, a convection oven, and a nice deli case. See I was planning on doing sheet pan meals in the impinger and doing a gluten free/paleo meal delivery service and using the deli case in my bakery. Had customers lined up and everything. LAST 3 hours of that auction, bunch of people came out of no where and started throwing money on everything like crazy. I actually broke down crying when people started throwing 3k+ at the ovens. Like really crush my dreams of getting of disability and being able to work full time time cooking for people.....in the end I got nothing but life beating me with a newspaper like a dog shivering in the corner. Still debating getting a smaller oven for that meal prep thing but will be limited to 4-6 customers a day. And that deli case would be wonderful investment....gg life

After strict elimination diets, etc. I Have learned my almost daily diarrhea since my gluten exposure months ago is not food related...though I did learn if I do not eat constant coconut flour, and high potassium foods....it goes completely liquid spray.  What I did find....it is a flare from my UC to a die off caused by a immune supplement  I am taking for my infection...assuming it is causing die off and D.  I did stop it by accident missing a day to discover the D went away....but my infection went from white/clearish fluid to dark yellow thick stuff in 24 hours then back to white/clear with a bit of blood when I resumed......SO I can not stop it. either slow the progression of the infection til I can pay for the surgery in October and live with diarrhea or no diarrhea and chance it spreading and killing me .....yeah easy choice right.

I am selling a bunch of old appliances, games, guns, furniture, scrap metal, etc. to fix those damn freezers. Over all good deal you know even if broken, they are used about 800-1200 new in the 2600range and I got 2 for 300....one has a burned out overload panel on the compressor a 200-300fix the other seems to have a freon leak or a bad sensor, a simple 50-75 fix.

Getting a DNA test done to track down my blood family...being adopted with all these health issues...I need answers. Hopefully some blood relative is in the registry.

This site really gives me a place to feel useful, and build up my karma points (need to cash these in soon), but sometimes I feel like a cross of Dr. House and Sheldon Cooper .

One wish I keep on having, dear lord send me a philanthropist sponsor for my life or let me when the damn lottery

Worse Luck, Bad Freezers

So I have been needing some new freezers for my bakery, I won some nice merchandising freezers at a auction house for a going out of business sale. They are higan dias, nestle icecream upright window ones. Well this auction house had other freezers listed with "good for parts" these were listed as a working freezer. I got two of them less then $150 each. Got them in and bam both are dead...one does not even cycle hte compressor...the other does not cool. God I know life hates me but my bad luck is getting to the retarded level quick......and yeah no warranty or guarantee they work so I am screwed....hours driving, stuck in traffic for a hour due to highway wreck closure, and time spent wrestling the 229lb monsters into my building then this....




Rant "It's Just a sandwhich"

As many know I run a small gluten free cottage bakery, on Main St. in a shared building with a store next door that I help out at to keep rent low that does machine work. Anyway one of the rules that came about for that store several years ago was NO gluten products allowed inside...this came about after a worker poisoned me....that is another story. Anyway this being market season and me having to do hand rolled cheesy bread all day. I take a break to go next door and tell them the menu for the lunch I would be fixing them (I cook and serve lunch as a chef their for everyone again to keep rent low and PREVENT gluten foods and contamination from being brought in). Anyway, I walk over there and one of the workers...walks in with a motha fracking hoagie sandwich....like REALLY. I flip on him, about the building being a dedicated safe place, and I do not need him glutening the place after eating it and touching everything I might handle....then flip on him with a rant on if I touch something then do not wash it all off then make a customer sick.....would you pay the law suit?.....what if you make me sick....do you KNOW how much money I spend and time I spend cooking so you guys do not bring that s$#& in here? I fix you meals so you do not bring that poison in here.....his response...."It is just a sandwich" Yes and it is bloody poison to ME that has corn and GLUTEN in so your chancing me with a allergic reaction also. How would you like it if I handled rat poison before cooking your lunch...or if I was having to pull poison ivy then touching around your chair, the doors, knobs etc. THEN he goes and PUTS it in the fridge.....NEXT to my snacks, a OPEN sandwich....I flip and just leave. I was so close to just punching him.




April Update

Had a scare few days ago, I thought I developed a almond intolerance, ended up being I can not eat raw almonds that I just chew and eat, roasted I can make into butter or chew and they turn into a "mud" that sinks, raw tend to turn into a floating gritty irritating paste that causes purging, almond flour is fine if baked or soaked over night before being used in a porridge.

I am feeling more motivated about my dream gluten free food truck, paleo menu, seeking a partner to fund and do the paper work side while I just cook and manage the truck. Fundraiser for it never made a dime.

Farmers Market is starting....having some issues, will not be bringing my diary free icecream machine to the market or getting my permits for the first month do to a 4 week probationary period. I am doing the gluten free baked goods, mixes, and almond butter.....frankly I was told I was not welcomed there, that "People come to the market not for the over priced okra but for the experience of shopping at the farmers market" and that my autistic nature of nervous pacing, worried looks, the occasional panic attacks, etc. takes away from the market experience. Other vendors have complained that they think I scare off customers and prevent repeats while not offering much to benefit the market.....

My almost daily D since my last gluten exposure is undoubtedly and regrettably triggered by drinking a bunch of coffee in the morning, I went decaf over a year ago...but now it seems within 2 hours of drinking my 2nd cup in the morning I am on the toilet. I think it is flaring up my UC. NONE of my other gluten symptoms are present so it is just a UC flare....I will try using weaker coffee over the next month, but removing the daily coffee is something I am going to put off for a month til my life is more stable....dealing with the market stress without that comfort could prove to be quite bad.

Infection is being annoying have to drain it daily...and 2 other teeth are giving me issues. I might have to try to see a dentist sooner then later and at least get some damage control done. One tooth cracked last night, I have another with a amalgam filling...with a cavity in the side that is oddly causing my cheek next to it to turn white and blister....was told I need to see a specialty dentist ASAP something about it not being sealed anymore? Fundraiser for it....never got much and my dedicating so much to it each month has gotten my tooth fund to just 140 so far....

In need of a new freezer.....I keep on getting out bid or having issues come up...lost 6 yesterday to one asshat at a auction house sale. I was going after one...almost had it real cheap, he just went over my budget....then proceeded to double my bid on 5 other freezers.....I have NEVER wanted to punch someone that much in a long time. He is obviously a reseller....and a sadist.

I am honestly to the point where I was and am considering buying 6+ cases of Julian Bakery bars...getting several weeks worth of meds together, liquidating assets and buying a motorcycle to just ride and go road trip frack it all....Need a vacation from life lol.




New Issue No Explanation

As I mentioned I had some random vomiting.....well fact is it has been happening since my gluten exposure back November. It was almost every night around the same time 3-5 hours after eating dinner. After my exposure last month it became more consistent almost every night same time....but it is not really like vomiting.....just burping up 2-8 mouthfuls averaging about 6 starts off with a slime mucus, then floating stuff, then a couple of globs of compacted foods. The globs consist of things even from breakfast up to  10 hours prior bits and pieces sort of compacted into a mucus covered glob not much just some of it.
It is not intolerance as a intolerance will have me vomiting within a 2 hour window normally within 30mins of consuming the offending food.
It is not a allergy as I have no fever, sores, etc.
It is not gluten as I have no pain, nerve, or gut issues with it.
This reminds me of my pancreas enzyme issues years ago with meats coming up this same way if taken without enzymes....so I upped my enzymes, no effect.

My next thought was this might be a PH issue like Posterboy suggested so I started betain HCL....burned a bit more but still had them.

I then started changing up my dinner and had my breakfast for dinner.....well it just set on quicker this way happening within hour of eating and much more....but breakfast normally consist of solid foods and dinner is always blended and mushy for ease of digestion (used to make it sure I would keep foods down) Trying a blended breakfast back to same thing. But eating same breakfast for breakfast no issues....time of day seems the be the factor not the food eaten.

I tried stopping my supplements and medications for a few nights...well bunch of issues came back up and I was a zombie in a chair but still had the same timing effects with the burping/vomiting (I was still on my PPI)

Next I tried just removing my PPIs.....yeah I was just married to a trashcan for 12 hours CONSTANTLY burping up acid....confirmed I still have that pump issues from the overdose as a kid where my pumps never turn off.

I have 2 thought lines now. 1 as the day goes on I just get worse and worse stomach issues and the gut fails to dump in the evenings without a reset sleep cycle?
2. This reminds me of owl pellets where a owl pukes up the undigested foods.....as this seems almost exactly what I am dealing with, hard and undigested foods from the whole day get puked up....dissecting my globs and taste analysis of what I am puking confirms some foods even from my last meal never show up in the globs.....but others are present in some form even the safest of foods....I tried a elimination diet of the foods in the globs but then it changed to other foods.....this is odd with no consultancies other then time it happens.

Oh last week I went all day with blended porridge,.....still forming glob?! Like my stomach is churning these out of the food from each meal it just does not want to digest and lets them harden then coughs them up when done at the end of the day.




March Update

SO still getting over a gluten issue....I was unaware I kept on glutening myself with my tooth brush....threw it out and the D finally stopped but not have rebound constipation lol. Few days it should be fine, but lesson learned. I have some inconsistencies with vomiting...unsure if due to constipation or a new intolerance...I suspected flax seed at first, but then had some and not, not sesame seed my next one, and I have mixed results but doubt it is olive oil again (pretty sure over that one), I am thinking and dreading it is either psyllium husk, coconut, or almonds....and a third thought that it might just be this one bag of ground flax I have as it is a constant in the food diary with the vomiting...suspect rancid? OR it could be pea protein god forbid but that happens I am screwed lol. I save so much money replacing my egg whites with it, making protein chips with it, and using it for thickening etc. I hate the inconsistencies with my vomiting but I can not stick to my food rotations as I am trying to balance my diet and eating a bit of everything .

I am working on a doughnut recipe, bit based off a in the projects cinnamon roll recipe. The cinnamon roll recipe was too dry and crumbly, so working on doing it with psyllum husk to make it chewy and gooey.  But that dry crumb texture if adjusted a bit bit more oil and using actual eggs (apple sauce was used in the rolls so I could keep it rawish gooey and not risk sickness from raw eggs) could make a fluffier doughnut hole.

Infection is back and I started a fund raiser to get the surgery.........$20 in fund raised and $40 in cash donations. Hopefully I can go ahead and deal with this.

My mother is finally going to see about getting tested this month for celiac.

OH I found a bar, British pub style near here that is owned by a celiac who has 2 celiac kids and the bar has a full dedicated gluten free kitchen only 2 items not gluten free are brought in from outside....a gluten free bar...I have mixed feelings they do have gluten beers by the bottle I noticed but if I stay away from the barn area I think I should be safe since the food is all gluten free. They have gluten free fish and chips, sandwiches, burgers, shepherds pie, etc. I am looking at the grilled salmon and cod and being able to go to a bar scene again without risk of getting sick Recall when I stopped that s$#& 4 years ago...like even the water they served in a pitcher smelled of beer, the tables were sticky with beer....I got sicker then a dog any only ever had water there.....never again and gave up on that. Will report when I try it out.





Ravings of a Gluten Free Baker

So diagnosed with celiac years ago, I opted to make the best of my cooking and culinary skills and start baking and doing chef jobs for others with these diet restrictions. This enabled me to better myself, help others, and PAY for this diet. I opened up a cottage home bakery, sold at farmers markets, and did local deliveries. This went on for several years, and I changed up my lines to grain free and vegan and all was well for several years. 

Lately things have changed, whole foods started having tons of gluten free options, making in store cookies, breads, muffins, croutons. Other stores started to carry UDIs meals, Ians foods, and a whole bunch of other gluten free products are now available. Food delivery services started doing gluten free options and these further took my business away in chef jobs.  I BAKE, I COOK, I DO ALL OF THIS to AFFORD to feed myself and live.....all of these have been taken away from me as others prefer constant convenience of picking it up ready made over ordering custom made goods. My almond butter lines are also being ousted by local stores carrying more....only things I am still selling well are my sugar free blends and my keto breads and not enough for me to get by on. I feel like a rat in a cage, I am dealing with other life issues right now and might need to have surgery to remove a infection in my jaw.

Debating trying to sell my flour blends in bags for people ot make in house for my muffins and focusing my efforts on my Keto Breads, nut butters, and fried ice catering for income. Unsure if my Vegan Grain free muffins mixes can be done this way as I have the flour blends, I mix up flax eggs, fillings, and the liquids and oils then combine in a mixer before scooping them out.  I think I can add in the ground flax into the flour mixes and tell them to mix with warmed water/oil. I need to do a test batch.




Glutened Shared Facility Coconut

Worst of luck lol, I got some coconut chips, they said gluten free on the back but no certifications, I started snacking on them then felt that obvious tightening around my neck odd stomach, later puking, and I knew then. I took out the nima and tested the only new thing, and they came back positive for gluten. Thankfully I was given some glidenX stuff.... I think it works to some degree....I found I only had one bout of minor D after and felt alright by evening, none of the severe stumbling, dropping stuff, nerve issues, and next day constipation were present. Anyway further scrutiny of chips lead to finding small print at the bottom of shared facility . Go figure.

Anyway forward to now several days later and I am noticing some random inconsistencies in food tolerances again and trying to nail them down........God I hope I am wrong but I found 2 that have me almost having a mental break down. I confirmed 1 today...the flavor drops I have been using....now cause my stomach to freeze up and not dump til I puke.....HOPEFULLY this clears in a week or so I mean for fucks sake that is what makes food enjoyable for me is having it taste like stuff I can no eat normally. THE other one seems to be a pectin intolerance, my homemade icecream, and sugar free jams are causing some puking.....FFS why do gluten exposures result in such inconvenient food intolerance coming into play with my daily life....I love patterns and sticking with things and it just throws a bloody wrench in my life.....oh well removing them for now and praying to god this resolves quickly....telling myself it is a food rotation and a cleanse.




February Update

Weights still bouncing 130ish for 5' 10" (I lost a inch in the past year?! seems to be in my spine)...bit frustrating but a gluten exposure in December and a bad cold early January really messed with my immune system....damn thing brought back many intolerance issues, randomly going purge mode after some meals with no real pattern as to what is making it do it...like same meal, same prep, same med, etc. One day fine....next within 30mins I am praying to the porcelain god to let me keep my food....then having to try to eat a few spoons of nut/seed butter and BCAAs to keep from losing weight. Damn maddening that I can not find a pattern but it seems to happen once every few days so no real loss....I am thinking it might have something to do with my system blocking up and gastric emptying issues further looking into it with relations with acid PH.....look further down for this bit.

My nima died on me, company is reimbursing me with a new one and a few pack of capsules.

Started a new ab workout and doing great, goal to look like my buddy tom kiryu by the next convention.

Found a new salmon bacon by trader joes....still limiting meat intake but days I have tried it have not shown to be a problem,

Funny thing, on posterboy thoughts I tested my stomach acid with a PH strip last time to vomit and found that my acid is a bit higher on the PH scale kept track of this and found in the evenings my PH of the acid is between 3-5...and around 1-3 in the mornings. This shows why I have to have blended meals for dinner I think, with extra enzymes, enzymes being activated by strong acids of 1-3 are not as effective in the evening with a higher PH. SO considering his suggestion I tried the HCL supplements again...whole pill...turned out awful IT BURNED hard with strong heat in my gut. SO I opened up the pill dropped half of the contents in a bit of a food paste or in a tiny amount of water and downed it and am finding digestion to be much smoother and requiring less enzymes....I still can not get off of PPIs though as I have a different reason for taking them damn broken pumps never turn off lol side effect of almost ODing on caffeine as a young kid trying to stay awake and active. Sort of broke my acid pumps where they never turn off....yeah no PPIs I  burp up and just have acid pouring out of my mouth every 30-90mins...before, and when I tried to get off them in the past few years this has required me to even go to bed with a bucket, and this is too stupid or crazy to even make up.

Bakery sells....no clue wtf happened but they practically stopped. I partially blame the local big chains for now stocking all kinds of gluten free baked goods and alternatives......like even my chef jobs are drying up. Finding myself, sad to say it...but I am having to steal sunbutter, kale, eggs, walnuts, and avocados from the local scan and go walmart....I am choosing bruised avocados and the worse looking produce....I feel guilty but I need to survive some how and the food stamps ran out, and frankly disability at $800 a month....with rent bills etc......I am just screwed if side jobs do not pick up. PS the local food pantry does not cater to my diet....like they try giving me powdered milk, flour, peanut butter, dry noodles, canned noodle soups.....yeah default assignment and no special dietary plans. Bright side, I found a new Walnut Milk in my local store free of dairy, peanuts, soy, gluten, and xantham gum...OMG best thing for porridge EVER they had a sale on it mid month and I got one SOO in love. Hoping still in sale when I get my next food stamps in. Ubiome is offering me $10 and 5 free kits......I need to take samples of my stool and send them in bi-weekly. Seems they got me on some kind of study....fine pay me money and I literally send you some of my poop.

Protes set me up with a nice sampler box, they should soon be carried at CVS stores...yep corn free, vegan, low carb chips only corn chip like food I can eat and they will now be carried in a local store....hopefully cheaper then $4 a bag.

Chiropractor update, I have a curvature in my spine, some locked lower disk, slight disk compaction in my lower spine, osteoporosis setting in my neck......yeah just 28 and the digestive tract and now spine of a 60-80 year old.





January Update

Still got a few issues lingering from that glutening issue...onions are still off the menu...as are spices. SO my mexican rotation of cuisine is put off and sticking to Italian herbs and keeping it easy. I have learned a few new things diet wise. The whole "what floats on top of my stomach will be puked up later" concept has been applied with a new testing and setting method for my foods. Works like this I put the food ingredient in a bowl of water...if it floats I need to make it sink before i eat it. This involves soaking nuts/seed meals/flour, and certain other foods 4-6 hours before a meal. Leafy greens seem to sink if nuked in the microwave to mush making them easier. NOW this did have a interesting find...animal fats are still a NO cause of the enzyme/floating effects with my system. BUT certain plant fats like cocoa nibs seem to cause a odd film to form...it breaks down with enzymes quickly I tested in a bowl and seems to disperse/sink. SO I moved it up and always consume my cocoa nibs before a meal with enzymes now and the puking has become less common. I have previously noted it was present with over consumption of cocoa nibs occurred after a meal.

I have discovered a wonderful flavor company that makes artificial flavor drops for food/beverage/vaping. Very low to no alcohol in most flavors, no additives/thickeners, and very concentrated. About 1-1.5 drops to a oz of liquid. I used the biscuit on in my keto roll recipe .....OMFG it tasted like those Pillsbury rolls with the butter in them we used to have for breakfast every saturday growing up OMG, I love it with some cinnamon or sugar free grape jam...SOOO reminds of my childhood with my family....texture is lacking that layered fluffiness but the flavor is dead on.   The Cereal one taste like corn flakes,,,add a sweetener for frosted flakes...SOOO nostalgic, I love using it in coffee or almond milk...also great in porridge like someone used the left over milk from the cereal in the food.  The cinnamon danish one taste like those bear claws from the gas stations, the rectangle pastry with the lines on top and a filling them, Mix with either the vanilla custard, apple pie, or lemon meringue etc. for a filled pastry...SOOO much fun in smoothies and porridge.

I have a upcoming chiropractor appointment again to fix the curve in my back and check on my osteoporosis in my neck. I went ahead and booked a hotel for a night up there since it is a 100+ mile round trip. Figured I would stay up there and have some fun shopping for a day (window shopping).

I keep  getting more and more concerned about my mother (adoptive) perhaps having this disease so many symptoms but she refuses to get tested.

I recently have been taking care of my cousins daughters more....OMG I feel like my grandmother on my father side must have, that perfect home, odd diet, and not really set up to entertain kids....I am trying to cater to them to the best I can but their taste change daily....and the dumb father normally feeds them instant meals, and prepackaged snacks...SOO they are spoiled and extremely picky. The stuff they do like is like insane expensive, Pro Granola, Kale Chips, gluten-free muffins, gluten-free cookies...the nut based expensive ones. I am billing him for the food....I have a itemized list and they have consumed over $54 in food in 10 day...this is a 8 and a 10 year old.




Glutening recovery update

Well the D stopped finally...I have dropped 7 pounds in the past few weeks. I now have multiple intolerance issues back....garlic, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, red pepper, bell pepper, chicken stock, egg yolks, are all off the menu and cause vomiting again . Back to sweet nut based porridge for a few more weeks.

Amusingly my nerve damage is something else. Christmas day, I was taking stuff out of the oven without a mit/towel...handling hot pots etc....my mother pointed out I was burning myself and I did not even notice it. I have to keep check on my drink cups temperature, I got a ember last year for the beverage issue...I like go to drink something, ...it feels a bit warm in my gut...cup says 176F...yeah need to let that cool. THEN today, my heater turns on...ok that is odd....my house is under 40F and it did not seem cold to me...checked my feet and they are bluish.....into the hot tub to soak they went and they seem fine now. Keeping check now on stuff and my body.....this lack of feeling all over causes all kind of damage issues .




New Cake Idea

So I got a new cake pan, huge cake pan that looks like a dragon around some eggs. I am thinking of using my grain free keto bread recipe, with the "Cake" alteration where I add 2tbsp sweetener an 2tbsp butter flavored coconut oil then add 2 tsp of Red Velvet Cake extract/coloring. I was thinking spray the pan with coconut oil and dust it with Hershey Dark Cocoa then pour a 2x batch of the cake mix in it and make a giant red velvet cake with cocoa dusting, In theory it should look like a smouldering red dragon under the cracked cocoa.....in my mind this seems epic. I am wondering how well it will do with my grain free flour mixture and all the details. If this works out my bakery will have a new products. "Dragon Cake" due to ingredients, baking time, etc......looking at a $40 cake here. But making it low carb, diabetic friendly, grain free, dairy free........I think I might have a shot at this.




Birthday Summary

So the 16th was my 28th birthday, I made myself some gluten free keto cinnamon rolls,...not quite up to par so I made a keto cake, Nice round birthday cake, extra moist and fluffy, cinnamon and egg nog extract in it. Used Egg whites, coconut flour, Lakanto Maple, Nutiva Butter Flavored Coconut oil, water, cinnamon, psyllium husk powder, Swerve Sweetener, egg not extract, stevia. Turned out really nice. >.> I ate half of it in a semi depressive state. Fact is after my initial disease diagnosis I burned alot of bridges in my fogged insanity. Then over the next few years family and friends distanced themselves more as I became allergic to stuff they used often like corn etc. So food related events were a no go, then they just sorta aleianted me. Does not help next few years had deaths of grandparents on each side of the family causing the families to drift apart. Results...my birthday AND family Christmas celebrations became non existent. Any being too poor this year to book a trip like I have the last 2 years go get away from life. He is my summary of yesterday.
8 wishes happy birthday 2x what I got last year
1 friend even offered to get me something this has a really special meaning for me.
My parents got me a much needed phone earlier
I got zero cards which is normal
My plans to go out and do something...life destroyed them
I made myself cinnamon rolls, I made myself a eggnog cinnamon roll cake....ate half of it.
I got myself some gifts - coffee, Game of Life, cutting mandolin, cake pan, and a food storage tub.
I ate comfort food all day while trying not to have flash backs of past birthdays and denial of pity for myself. Ended up just playing video games distracting myself from reality. ALL while dressed up in costume around the house as Jackie Estacado....... I finished it off by throwing $10,000 of movie prop $100bill on my bed and sleeping on them >.>




Glutened by residue lol

Well I was helping out my dad majority of the day, grabbing the same coffee pot handle bare handed, same microwave handle, popping snacking nuts, afterwards....then I got really bad gut issues, pain nausea, and really bad D....oddly no vomiting so I knew it was residue and not straight gluten. ......I go to tell my dad I am not feeling good and going home,,,,and I realize he has been snacking on Twizzlers all day and touching all those things I have been......I face palmed seems he did not know and did not even think about the things having wheat in them.....the numbness is really and fog are really going to suck this next week hoping everything else clears up and no other symptoms show.




December 2017 update

Well, let us start with food issues, I tried meat again, I can digest them fine with pancreatic enzymes it seems the whole meat and fat issue was related to not having enough. BUT THERE is another issue, I started smelling bad.....like I started smelling when I sweat at night or did any kind of activity, I started to stink like a mix of ammonia and sulfur, like a dead rat in a pee soaked cage. It made me feel sick the way I smelled, I started talking to 2 friends who are nutritionist, and both in different ways basically said that was a sign my body and meats are not compatible. One went into detail about how the body will excrete stuff it does not like via the skin, pores, and urine. They went into talking about how skin issues, body smells, etc. can be a first sign that my body is having a issue with a food. One told me to drop meats completely, the other asked some more questions and told me to drop poultry which I had been testing and said to try it with red meat, then rotate to trying with increased fish and crab to test the waters and see what effects me. Long story short my dream of eating meat again sunk, I am going back to a mostly vegan diet aside from egg whites.....that smell.....

Second, business slowed down to a crawl with baking, giving me more time to do other cooking and experimenting, I hope to develop some new recipes and do some more chef work, We will see where this goes....working on a new cinnamon roll recipe for my birthday this year on the 16th

Weight is bouncing again....no thanks to a CC issue with some food I was eating, nothing major just enough to cause nerve issues, D, and a bit of nausea and the occasional failure of my stomach to empty after a meal so below 20ppm since I am not having a violent reaction. Truth be told I tested the culprit with the nima and it came back positive, but certified gluten-free. I checked the strip. the 3rd gluten antibody line on the strip is a bloody hair line from previous test sent to a lab after said result I would say it is between 1-15ppm...... I also fear some new intolerance might have arisen or perhaps a bad batch of something....who knows more trouble shooting >.> so wish I could afford one of those verywell food sensitivity test for shits and giggles. >.< I also want to try one of those health + ancestry test from 23andme.com as I am adopted and have no blood family records. Broke this year, working like crazy to see how to make ends meet, I had to cancel any plans for my birthday/Christmas and just have to stay home this year.....




Thanksgiving changes and plans.

Well my idea of doing the broccoli dish with a mushroom duxelles flopped, seems the local mushrooms are still gluten contaminated Yes I tested them with a nima.....and stir fry mushrooms in the polar cans do not work so well with this version of the duxelles. SO what I am going to do is take my bacon seasonings mix and use it on some baked Brussels sprouts, Taking Brussels and cutting off the bottoms taking the petals and putting them on a baking sheet, 350F 10mins. Then putting them in a pan with 2tbsp coconut aminos 4tsp liquid smoke, 2tsp apple cider vinegar, 2tsp lakanto maple, 3tsp butter flavored coconut oil, and 1tsp paprika blended into a sauce and poured over it, from here I can either simmer them down in it and serve over miracle rice. OR I can load them into a dehydrator or back in the oven for a Brussels bacon chip.
Going to make my keto dressing like I used to make my grandmas dressing, stock, flax eggs (might try eggs) sauteed celery and onion minced fine, and a bit of full fat coconut milk or cashew milk mixing it up and baking. Looking at doing the turkey for the family like normal and gravy (using roma tomatoes mashed and simmer down in it to thicken a bit up, then gravy not thick. Might take a portion and thicken with potato starch like I do for the church for my parents) .

Debating myself myself some keto almond butter muffins with pumpkin pie extract and spice to make them taste like pumpkin pie OR making keto chocolate and almond butter keto brownies with pumpkin extract and pumpkin pie spice.......

I made a pumpkin pie for my church...gluten free but too many carbs for me. I am also making a pear cobbler for the church again...too many carbs and sugars for me but gluten free. Might also be making some chocolate strawberry swirl brownies for my church using the last of my grain based flours. I make it a habit to provide a separate table for gluten free desserts I take to my church.  wish I could provide a full on thanksgiving meal to a family, be good side job and help with Christmas funds.  





So I saw a chiropractor today after noticing some nerve issues, neck pain and a spasm in my back. I talked them down on cost to a $35 xray and examination, and a $50 adjustment down from $257 and $65. So what I learned, I have a S shaped curvature to my spine that needs to be alignged, and I have osteoporosis in my neck . SO that is the issue with my neck pains.  I can not afford to get the proper adjustments that I need. I opted instead to do them on a monthly basis which I can afford and see if that fixes it, As for the neck...well any treatment options are outside my price range,  Going to increase my Vitmain D suppmentation to be more regular and make sure I am driking more calcium fortiifed nut milks see if I can help stop the osteoporosis.





I have issues digesting foods, meats/animal fats, and certain other fats are a no. I just throw them up hours later, if it floats it will not break down and be puked up hours later, if it sinks as do nut butters, certain fats,  certain fish and crab, they tend to go through undigested in the stool. I tried HCL to increase my stomach acid strength but that was a huge, painful, burning flob. My acid is just find I just lack the enzymes. SO I was taking vegan jarrow enzymes, 2x the dose, extra jarrow Bromelain 2-3x the dose chewed, and Papaya enzymes. Well they papaya I was using was in a capsule and the company changed to tablets. I can not tolerate these and no other company made them in capsules I could just dump in a drink and down. I changed my primary enzymes over to Jarrow enzymes plus that are porcine enzymes. These tend to work pretty good and have a bit of a cheesy tang to them (1. I do not swallow the capsules but sort of pour the contents on food or in a beverage). I did some research and amusingly learned frito lay uses porcine enzymes as a flavor enhancer in Doritos and a few other products. Amusingly I am tempted to try adding them to a cheese sauce next time I use them lol. Anyway they seem to be effective, in a different way. I can process meats better with them but oddly.....having issues with some plant based fibers, and nuts that used to be no issue with the vegan enzymes......odd. Might try one of each when I get the money.

I have never had it checked or brought this up with my doctor, wondering if I should talk to a doctor next time I can have one (if ever again) and see if this could be related to some organ not working right in my body.....I was told it was more related to the inflammation/damage in my intestines and that with healing should improve. But how does stomach digestion and breaking down fats there work into the equation?




November Update

Getting over a almost 5 week flare of my UC, scared me at first as I thought it was gluten, but the blood stool, pain only on the outside edges of my abdomen, and only diarrhea tell me it is not gluten since I lack the neurological side effects, vomiting, and core gut pain.  Still not 100% sure on the source, I think it might have been some of the spices I started using .  
On a side note I have literally fell in love with using rythem superfoods kale chips as a crushed up garnish, and in eggs, the ranch and nacho are wonderful.
I have perfected making crackers, chips, and gram crackers all ketogenic using protein powders based on a body builder friends recipes. 
I have introduced crab again and am finding I am not have ANY issues with and looks like I am healing somewhat and look forward to more fish and crab in my diet.
I recently had a enzyme I was using change formulation from a capsule to a tablet....the new tablet seems to cause that floating mucus crap in my stomach so I have to get off it and can not find any other super papaya enzymes that re in capsules without the odd binders. Roatating over to more Jarrow Enzymes plus.
Seeing about introducing MCT oil more via primal kitchens collagen and using their vegan mayo for more health fats. Will see how I tolerate these.
My new ketogenic bread in my bakery, I found goes great with poultry seasonings....I have a low carb, ketogenic, and grain free DRESSING BASE. This thanksgiving is looking good in that sense.
My dessert bread line with the doughish line for personal use is quite unique I am addicted to it and trying to wean myself off >.< It is low carb but I need to rotate my fat source from it for a cuisine rotation.
I hope I can fill some order this year for my bakery and thanksgiving, I need to pay for some baked goods I am donating to my church, and holiday sales are supposed to pay for it....last year I did not get enough orders and and dug myself a nice financial hole trying to be nice.
I also need to wean myself off cocoa nibs.....I am eating way to many. But they are SOOO addictive. I am a bit concerned about nutrient balances with them though.
I am trying to eat jackfruit in more moderation due to the odd carb ratios in them and how they effect my ketosis, same with tomato base sauces. So far so good, but finding nutrient balances challenging.
I am still working with a spice company to have one of my spices featured by them, I sent them a sample but their seems to be a few misunderstandings. Will see how this turns out in this next week.
I can not wait for cold weather to break out curry, and soups, I am half tempted to get a spare A/C install it in my bedroom to make it a nice 40-50F so it feels like winter. These hot days and high humidity of 90%+ this last week are driving me mad and the nigh sweats are super annoying.
Keep hoping to get a room mate, neighbor, or a new customer to cook for, just want to feel more needed and cook more.
My birthday and Christmas are looking bad this year, I can not book the trip I normally take. My backup plans to go stay in a hotel in Dallas just a bit north got semi crushed as the hotel I was looking at and planning on just upped the fees by $20 a night. I do not see myself getting a girl friend, or significant other to spend time with, and my family wants nothing to do with me around the holidays or anyone else so alone again....need to find some kind of distraction.




Thoughts and Issues

Noticing some histamine/allergy issues to a few foods today I used to not have. Bit of sniffles and drainage caused by cherry flavored magnesium calm. Funny the orange does not bother me....but I know anything magno or peach flavor does this same thing if natural flavors used. But last time I was on the cherry rotation less then a month ago it did not bother me. Well they are in the same family...as is almond god please no lol.

Tried making a doughish cinnamon cake...I miss that doughy stretchy mess that was monkey bread. I found that if I use a bunch of cinnamon and psyllium husk with a warm liquid I can get a stretchy dough. So I added extra of each to my base coconut bread, Added extra coconut oil for rich buttery ness, extra stevia, and lakanto maple for sweetness. And threw it in the oven...forgot the apple cider vinegar for rise oops. Conclusion from the flat loaf. Needs more oil to make it richer and a bit more liquid. It had the doughy ness but you had to chew it for awhile and let moisten up in you mouth.  >.> I used peices of it in a hot porridge base and let it simmer and it thickens it up great. I am looking at increasing collagen and MCT intake, this is to boost my keto and body building. I am thinking of using primal kitchen Collagen vanilla. I know when I got samples of it a year ago it had a gluten warning on it but now I see all their products are labeled gluten free.....we shall see. While looking on their site I saw some great coconut amino marinades, they also had avocado mayo...but it had egg yolks in it. Upon this I looked online and found Nuco vegan mayo uses MCT and avocado....OMG PERFECT. I might be looking at that tuna fish sandwich sooner then I thought, just need to wait til after the market ends so I can bring fish in to my kitchen. I keep rotating foods, but I wish I had more people to cook for. With stores all carrying gluten free items now my chef jobs seem to be less frequent. I have inquired on a few, and have found that one family I was cooking for are turning to family meal packs from companies like Udi and Ians which our stores now carry......I swear..... I want to make so many things and try things but without that extra funding or someone to fix for I am stuck in a rut. Might end up on much more limited diet with the way it is going and not even my bodies fault this time. I had a fun argument and scare with food stamp office. I casually informed them that my father was having to buy medications for me at the end of the month and sometime foods. Well they contacted me and jumped down my throat. They need him to write a letter and sign it telling them how much he is spending on me and if he is paying the money to me or directly to the vendor. When I inquired as to why.....it seems this is counted as form of income.....WTF?! I have to beg my parents for money for medication and food and they dock my food stamps for it????

Craving wise I was getting cravings for burnt food....obvious sign of carbon deficiency which one normally gets via fruit....which I can not have. So I started using my culinary torch to give a bit of a burnt edge to omelettes, nuts, toast. etc. And this knocked that out.  If only I can satisfy this spicy craving, without any weird hacks lol. I have to eat stuff loaded super sweet with non nutritive sweeteners to off set that craving. Spicy food.....is very bad for my stomach and intestines still. Cinnamon oil is the next best thing, and I use it like crazy. But pepper spicy is still a no >.> I did find one compromise with this, get some of the spice or sauce put a bit on my food and chew it, chew it, chew it then spit it out. Eat the rest of my food while the burn in my mouth is present. Seems some still gets down and causes a bit of indigestion but not as bad as direct consumption.