I've been in a really bad place this week. I've struggled a lot with the Celiac diagnosis. I was doing better and then this week hit me like a ton of bricks.... I think because I officially transition to gluten-free on Monday..... I am scared. Scared of losing the convenience I'm used to. Scared of losing the food I'm used to and love. I don't care how it sounds.... I'm fat because I eat bad. I like bad food. I no longer will be able to eat that food. Not just for a short time-not just for a year-forever.
I look at #celiac on instagram and the food doesn't appeal to me. I love salads/fruits/veggies but I don't love all the other stuff I see pictured. I literally am terrified of having nothing to eat.
The cost of eating gluten-free is also astronomical. I'm putting my family in such a bind... we're struggling and I feel so much guilt.
So... I'm struggling but that wasn't the point of my message. My message was to say that I stumbled upon a story of a little girl who just passed away last month from DIPG (incurable brain cancer). It kills kids ages 5-9 usually.
I cannot even imagine.... It breaks my heart...it kills me inside...and it puts into prospective that while Celiac sucks for me... it'll be hard for me... it's not the worst thing in the world.
If my mom were here she would be amazingly supportive, she would hold my hand and hug me and promise to be there for me all along the way but when I sank too low and was too depressed she would say "Someone out there has it worse than you Chanda". And she would be right....