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I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now


jasonD2

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jasonD2 Experienced

I can't believe how ignorant i was years ago before i developed all my problems. Seriously, I truly believe everything that happened to me couldve been prevented if i just took the right steps. instead of allowing my body to fully recover from a Giardia infection i jumped right back in to eating dairy, wheat, alcohol etc and my body couldnt handle it, so it collapsed. if i new about antiparasitic formulas i wouldve taken them on my river trip and wouldve never gotten ill. i beat myself up over this on a daily basis and have been for 7 years. i have fantasies of going back in time and writing a letter to myself with all of this information. i just cant get past it and after all this time still have difficult accepting my condition and just cant move forward..i feel it everywhere I go and every situation im in so i get no satisfaction out of life anymore. Only time i briefly escape is when i get some alcohol in me, but i shouldnt even be drinking


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curlyfries Contributor

Looks like you're spending an awful lot of energy on shoulda, woulda, couldas. Energy that would be put to better use trying to live your life to the fullest. Because tomorrow you will waste your time regretting what you didn't do today.

I know it's difficult when you have multiple intolerances and still don't have all your issues figured out. And it's OK to get down about it from time to time. We've all been there. But then you pull yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep trying. You know you shouldn't be drinking, but you do it anyway. You know that's not going to make you feel better in the long run. If you want your life to get better, you've got to act like it........DO something about it besides pout. Sorry that sounds harsh but if you keep this up, years from now you will regret that you didn't try harder today.

Quit beating yourself up and fight for yourself...not against yourself. I have to wonder if it's more than your health that has you down.

What would you do if you got a letter from yourself from the future, telling you to get off your arse and start living and quit ruining the future that you could have???

jasonD2 Experienced

i know you're right- and to be honest there are other things that have me down in the dumps. main thing is my social life...can't find a good woman and my dietary restrictions have also turned me into a bit of a recluse

curlyfries Contributor

Sounds like you don't like yourself much, so you can't expect anyone else to be attracted to you. First order of business is to accept yourself as you are and figure out how you're going to work around your food issues. Try to find activities you can get involved in that don't revolve around food. There's more to you and more to life than what you eat......or don't eat :P

Crystal Brown Rookie

Curlyfries, is definitely right.. The pity parties are okay, occasionally, but you have to know when to pull yourself up and out. I went through the recluse stage too - it is friggin hard to socialize!! You know what though? You just have to figure out what will work best for you in a social setting. I know, it's the whole - well I don't wanna have to put that much thought into it and I don't wanna.... The question you have to ask yourself is, how long do you wanna be a recluse? Unless the UPS sends your soul mate to your house, it looks like you're gonna have to get out and about :)

May I ask what your age range is?

Also, what are some of your core concerns about the social scene?

You will have days where you're going to feel like a complete poop, but you have to know that underneath you're solid gold and worth the fight.

one more mile Contributor

I need pity parties sometimes also, today get down and roll in the mud for a while If I really need to, but only for a day and a half. Then I take a long shower and get on with life.

I needed to get as sick as I got to be willing to commit to healing my self. Many of the people that saw me suffer for years are now looking at their diet also. It feels good that my suffering is helping others.

Could you be an Alcoholic? Only you can answer that but a desire to drink when it harms you is a symptom.

If you have questions email me at Seekerk@msn.com.

One more mile

PS my 88 year old grandmother is now working on cutting back gluten. She now realizes that it is the two pieces of toast in the morning that give her gass.

flourgirl Apprentice

I have to put my 2 cents in too. You mention wanting to find a "good woman". You will not find her in the bottle. You will not find the life you desire there either. That little bottle will suck your very life and soul out of you, and then rip your body to shreds. A woman who is just the kind who could help you to build that fulfilling, wonderful life will not be the kind to compete with that bottle, or stand by watching you be destroyed. The choice is yours. Harsh reality...but I know what I'm talking about. It's time for your wake up call....and it can only come from you. Make your choices and go for it! I wish you luck and a happy journey


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