Need Help Badly!

[mikyraso]

Hi everyone-

I wanted to see if anyone had any advice on how to handle my situation. I am really scared. My MIL wants my daughter to come for a visit. I want her to go stay but I am really scared she will come home really sick. Last time we were home she did OK but I was there to really check her food and to prepare everything for her. At home I cook gluten-free and my kitchen is mostly gluten-free, My husband isn't gluten-free but he tries very hard to prevent CC..I get very nervous letting her go because many times my H & I have told her our daughter can't have certain foods prior to her celiac disease diagnosis, and even now , and yet she doesn't respect our wishes. My daughter is fairly sensitive and most of the past month she has had stomach pains with a lot of gas. Now we have had to take her off all regular milk and I have had to start keeping a food journal. I just don't know what to do.I know she won't keep the journal and I know she will try to give her food she can't have. H E L P I don't know what to do !!!

[kareng]

I think I responded to this on another thread.

Sure! Every responsible parents sends their kids to stay with someone who has openly admitted that they will poison the child.

You & your hub would even consider this?

[kareng]

This is just making me mad that you would even consider this!

Depending on the state you live in, sending your child to stay in an environment that you know is unsafe, is child neglect, medical neglect and or child abuse!

[Poppi]

Repeat after me:

"I'm sorry, but our daughter's medical needs mean that you will have to come and visit her here in our home. Let us know when is convenient for you and please don't bring any food."

If she argues, just keep saying it. You have the right, no... the obligation to say no. She is your daughter and you must keep her safe.

[Takala]

Letting other people feed your celiac child glutencrap is never acceptable.

It is your responsibility to safeguard her wellbeing and if MIL does not get it, that's too bad for her. She can invite other company, feed a diabetic secret sugar telling them it's Splenda, or somebody with peanut allergies some Skippy, and make herself a martyr over some other topic when the liability lawyers come calling.

[mikyraso]

Repeat after me:

"I'm sorry, but our daughter's medical needs mean that you will have to come and visit her here in our home. Let us know when is convenient for you and please don't bring any food."

If she argues, just keep saying it. You have the right, no... the obligation to say no. She is your daughter and you must keep her safe.

Thanks. I needed that. I wouldn't hesitate to send her to my parents. While they are not celiac disease they DO listen to when we tell them she can't have certain foods. They don't try to sneak her things that would make her sick because THEY think it "won't hurt her." I just don't get my MIL.

She does try a little. She will buy gluten-free snacks and cereal or fruit snacks but then in the next breath she is asking me if she can have a pretzel. UGH!!! I could scream. I don't want to keep my daughter from visiting her but I also don't want to have her come home feel sick.. I know she will be crushed when I tell her she can't stay but better her feelings hurt than my BG sick for a day, week, or even month.

[tea-and-crumpets]

Would you let your daughter stay with her grandmother if she only got a little rat poison every time she visited?

You are the one in charge now. You have the power in this situation. As someone said above, you have the obligation to keep your daughter from getting sick as best you can. If your mother-in-law wants to see her grandchild, she can stop showing her a$$.

I sympathize with you. I don't have children, but I have a MIL who has admitted to putting chicken stock in her vegetarian son's food. Once I heard that, I knew that I could never eat another bite of food she prepared. It's one thing to make a CC mistake, another completely to knowingly contaminate someone's food.

Take your power back! You need to wake up that Mama Bear instinct I know you have, and who cares if your MIL gets mad? It's kind of refreshing to give up caring what people think when they're actively trying to harm your precious daughter.