I Think My Nephew Has Celiac, But His Parents...

[Guest Lucy]

REFUSE to test him. He is 27 months old, weighs 25lbs, is always ALWAYS crabby. He has at least 3-5 stools a day. His dad and my sons dad are twins, and his grandma and my son have celiac.

He is the most moody, skinny child I have ever seen. He never wants to play with other kids. He is such a cutey. I love him so much, but his parents absolutely refuse to even consider it. They don't want him to be, so they figure if they just pretend he doesn't have it, then he wont.

They main excuse for his weight is that his mom was always skinny like that too. She is 6'0 and weighs about 115. She is super skinny and always has been, but not as a baby and toddler.

I suggested they have him tested, but they were not interested. How do I keep on them, without being offensive or annoying? Or should I just shut up? We are REALLY close to them.

[gf4life]

It can be very frustrating to watch your loved ones be sick when you know that all they need to do it be tested for Celiac. If it is already proven to be in your family, then they have a high chance of having it too, but you cannot force them to be tested (or to test their children).

My sister is quite sick, all the time, and she knows that the kids and I have problems with gluten. She admits that she is most likely also having problems with gluten, but gave up trying to get tested since she doesn't plan to follow the diet anyhow. That sounds crazy to me. Why wouldn't you choose health! I know the diet is a pain in the butt sometimes, and isn't the most convenient thing to deal with, but it is a lot better than being sick all the time.

I wish you luck with your relatives. I wouldn't push them too hard. They know how you feel, right? and they might just need time to come to terms with the fact that their son is suffering. It may even take something drastic like no weight gain/growth for a year or so) to open them up to it. Right now they are probably being told that their son is still in normal ranges and is just skinny, like his mom! Until something drastic happens they won't see what is in front of their eyes.

God bless,

Mariann

[Jnkmnky]

Who will be hurt in the long run? Them? No. That kid could end up with any one of the scary, painful, debilitating auto-immune disease connected to Celiac. I'd take the gloves off and enlist the assistance of all family members. What is wrong with people? How can they flirt with the disasterous effects of an auto-immune disease? I'm sick from this.

[KaitiUSA]

All you can really do is give them the info they need to know and bring it up every now and then. I think it is sick that they would mess around with something that could kill their child. They need to get the seriousness of it but you can't really push the issue because they are the parents and make these decisions.

[gf4life]

Jnkmnky,

I understand how you feel. I used to get upset about it too. But all it did was hurt me to get upset. It didn't make any of my relatives listen to me any more. I find they are more receptive to learning about Celiac/gluten when I am not trying to force information on them or cram my opinions down their throats. They have started asking questions, and I am able to show them the benefits of the diet by our improved health. They also see how strict we are with the diet and I am of the opinion that sometimes actions DO speak louder than words.

Also parents have to make their own decisions regarding their children, even if those decisions are wrong. No matter how upsetting that can be when you see a child being hurt. The parents (usually) are not intending to harm the child, they are just ignorant. In this case it sounds as if the parents are turing a blind eye to the fact that their child might have a genetic disorder that is certainly present in their gene pool, but that is still their choice. In my opinion, all that Lucy can do is to be available to them for information (should they seek it) and to show them how much better her son is doing on the diet.

God bless,

Mariann

[lbsteenwyk]

Lucy:

Try approaching this from the perspective that you really care about their son and don't want to see him go through what your son has (if your son was very sick at diagnosis). Also you might mention that if he does have undiagnosed celiac disease, he is at greater risk for developing Type 1 diabetes, like your son. The thought of their child having diabetes may be a lot scarier to them than the possibility that he may have celiac disease. I wouldn't drop the subject, but don't be pushy either. Just continue to mention periodically how concerned you are. If they don't think he has it, what would the test hurt? If it's negative they will be right and everyone will feel better. Have you offered them any articles on celiac disease and growth/developmental delays in children? Or are they not even receptive to reading something?

[Guest Lucy]

I have told them that it is a simple test. I say "more than likely he's fine, but at your next visit just ask them to do a blood test" That's all I can do.

Our endocronologist thinks that maybe our sons diabetes was caused by celiac, since we have NO type one diabetes in our family.

I am not a pushy person, and they are the type that everything has to be "in style" "cool" i don't know how else to word it. They would never want their son to be "different" I love them, but sometimes think they are a little snobby.

I too used to be that way I guess, I've realized over the last year what is really important in life. Certainly not money, nice things. They are still at that point. I hope that Conner does not have celiac, but I am fairly certain he does.

I will keep my mouth shut, unless they ask.

Thanks