Cheating?

[dianebliquez]

We are awaiting biopsy results for celiac for our type 1 diabetic 6 year old daughter. She's never had abdominal pain and wondered if she could cheat on occasion and have birthday cake at parties. I'm hearing that you should never cheat, which makes sense, but my husband needs to be convinced.

[rattaway]

I have two gluten-free daughters. I want your husband to understand that when you suspect your child has gluten intolerance, if your suspicions prove to be true, then you are actually causing more damage to her already damaged intestines. A gluten-free batch of cupcakes could easily be made and then frozen for birthday parties. I do this for my daughters and when there is a party at school, we take one of the cupcakes out of the freezer and she eats her "cake" while the other kids have the gluten containing cake. She has a great time at the party and doesn't feel lousy. I think anything that causes my child pain is definitely not worth the risk even on occasion.

Best Wishes, Rian

[rattaway]

I meant to say that if you give her gluten and she does have Celiac then you will be causing more damage. Sorry, I didn't word it exactly how I planned. Guess I will check the preview post next time.

Rian

[celiac3270]

Rian,

If you find something in your post that you want to change, you can click on the "edit" button where you read the thread. I think it's in the upper right next to "report" and "quote". I nearly always edit my posts after finding grammatical errors or wanting to add something I forgot...

Getting back to the main question: THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN LET YOUR DAUGHTER CHEAT EVER! The tiniest crumb will mess up her intestines. Although she won't feel the pain that I and many others would feel from it, her intestines will be messed up. Cheating, even annually, will have a long-term effect; it is imperative that ALL gluten be cut out of your daughter's diet. Although she may not feel abdominal pains, later in life she'll feel the effects of cheating: osteoporosis or cancer. In addition, giving her gluten once yearly might tempt her, and she might start to think, if I can have it once on my birthday, why can't I have it twice a year....or three times, etc....and then in the teenage years she might feel it's acceptable to eat gluten while being with friends, etc. You can't let her do that.....keeping her on a 100% diet would be the best thing you could do for her and she'll appreciate it when she doesn't come down with Celiac symptoms decades later. No gluten is tolerable -- otherwise, why would we all go to the trouble to segregate pots, pans, and toasters? Don't do it!

-celiac3270

[lovegrov]

In addition to what's already been said, your daughter will be exposed to enough gluten without cheating. If your house isn't completely gluten-free (mine isn't, so this is not a lecture or guilt trip) she will get some stray contamination there. When you eat at a restaurant there's always the chance of gluten. And many processed products that are supposed to be gluten-free aren't because of cross contamination. Finally, there's a good chance that when she becomes a teen she will rebell or try to fit in and will cheat on her own at least once.

richard

[rattaway]

Even though your daughter will inevitably get exposed to gluten, you should still do your part to protect her from the pains (short term and long term). I know that gluten-free can be overwhelming at first but I advise that if your child does get diagnosed with Celiac, You the parent should also be tested. We all have Celiac here. Even when just one person has Celiac, the WHOLE family should pitch in to help make that persons life easier. I am not saying that non Celiacs should go on a gluten-free diet, just help by trying to keep that persons food free of gluten.

Have an Awesome Day, Rian

[sunflower]

I agree with all that was said above. And I have a good reason, because I am a walking example of what happens if parents think that cheating ocassionally won't hurt and teach this way of thinking to their kids.

I was diagnosed after I was born with gluten and lactose intolerance and was on diet ever since (I'm 28 now). Well, to say that I was on diet means that I learned from my parents about what I should and shouldn't eat, and I kept this diet. Now that I started reading this board and other sources in the Internet, I feel as if I was learning how to deal with the disease all over again. In addition to hidden gluten sources that I was having for years without knowing they are not OK, my mom brought me up thinking that a good amount of some forbidden food eaten very rarely won't do me any harm, because "intestines will have time to heal", and that it's only small amounts of gluten and lactose taken daily that will destroy my intestines. So she let me cheat from time to time when I was a kid (especially having ice-cream cones during summer holidays) and when I grew up, I did the same sometimes, too. The sad thing is that she really believed it, and meant to do no harm to me.

Now, OK, you might say that it did not do me any visible harm, as I am one of those who will have symptoms (diaharrea etc) only after eating really big amount of forbidden food. But, it did affect my health. Ever since I remember, I was the one catching any cold or flu that was around, and staying in bed for WEEKS to recover. I had guaranteed cold/flu every Spring and Autumn, and sometimes a "bonus" one at other time of the year. The fact that when I was a kid doctors believed in treating every common cold with antibiotics made it only worse (and I cannot have antibiotic pills, so it meant LOTS of injections! ) I've had various therapies for making my immune system stronger, and they didn't help.

It got gradually a bit better as I grew older, but never to the point of improving completely. I had to give up using swimming pools (and I LOVE to swim!) because I always ended up catching all possible things there even though there was chlorine in water and other people didn't seem to have any problems going there. Even now, when my boyfriend catches a cold he would maybe have a headache and slight temperature for a day or two, and he gets better in no time with a lot of sleep and maybe some aspirine. I catch the same cold from him, and I end up in bed for 2-3 weeks, with heaps of medicines (no antibiotics anymore, I have learned not to take them unless it's really, really bad and won't heal with any other medicine available).

I have looked for all possible explanations of this, and it never occured to me that it can be a result of not keeping strictly gluten-free and lactose free. I don't know it for sure yet, as I am just going to go to a specialist and do some tests to see if I don't have any other food intollerances, and I am going to stick to my diet from now on. I'm really tired of being so weak, and often tired, headaches and so on. I have just recently looked through family papers to find a description of my illness and therapy that I received years ago from my pediatirician, so that I can show the decription to the doctor I am going to see now. And it clearly says that every time they tried to put me back on gluten or lactose for the purpose of testing, after 2-6 months I started showing not only digestive system symptoms, but also "a serious weakening of immune system". My God, the time and money that I have lost on all those infections!

A small kid will probably not easily understand why she can't have some cake from time to time, but you must teach her that she cannot, and not give in when she asks for some tasty forbidden snacks, for her own good. It's not so hard to learn to bake gluten-free cakes and cookies, a gluten-free birthday cake for her birthdays, and I think the idea in one of the posts above about taking gluten-free cupcakes to other kids' parties is a good one, too.

There is one more thing - I've noticed that I rarely crave gluten sweets, such as cookies, donuts and so on, because I have never really tried a lot of them, so I don't know the taste, and it makes avoiding it so much easier! The ice-cream, which I grew up occassionally eating, is my worst curse. Show me some and I will drown in dribble. So I think you will really do a good thing if you do not let your child have "just a bit" of gluten foods so that she does not learn to crave them.

Good luck!

[rattaway]

Good post. I do hope that the parents of the daughter with diabetes will take into consideration all that has been posted and keep us all updated. I do hope that you start to feel better soon. Do you have any children? I am hoping to get to know some moms who have gluten-free kids but I enjoy talking to any other Celiacs as well. Hang in there.

Rian

[sunflower]

Thank you. No, I'm sorry, I don't have any children, so I wouldn't even dream of giving tips on how to raise children and such, but I do have some experience being a Celiac kid myself (a long, long time ago )

Whenever I use this board, I just click on "View new posts", go through the most recent posts and sometimes add a reply if I feel I have something to say that could help. I hope it is not compulsory to be a parent to post here (just kidding )

[dianebliquez]

I want to thank everyone so much for responding to my "cheating" submission. I have great news - my daughter's biopsy came back negative - NO CELIAC!! I feel very blessed as we already deal with her having juvenile diabetes. She's such a trooper. If she ever gets celiac I have printed out your responses and it will help so much in dealing with my husband on this. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Good luck in your lives and God Bless You.

Diane