Witness The Amazing Flip-flopping Mom!

[penguin]

I was talking to my mom on Saturday, and in the same conversation she went from "I wonder if that store in Brooklyn has any good gluten-free stuff for you" to "you probably don't have celiac and you'll grow out of it"

She tells me that both her and my sister had the same types of GI problems that I do (although my symptoms are apparently worse) in their 20's and they grew out of them. Stomach pain, D, etc. She says is due to your 20's being a very stressful time, and they both just grew out of it. OK, nevermind that mom is extraordinarily sensitive to artificial sweeteners, and my sister still gets stomachaches from cokes and other things, and is hypoglycemic like me.

And my brother, when he was little, would suddenly get up, go to the bathroom, throw up, and then come back to the couch and eat popcorn or whatever. I'll note that I do this as well, although its usually in the middle of the night. I'll get up, go throw up, and go back to bed.

Call me crazy, but I'm not sure any of that is normal...

I'm seeing a pattern here...

She's trying to push me into getting a lower GI series, colonoscopy, etc to see what's really wrong with me. She said I probably just have a non-celiac gluten intolerance. I said the only problem with that is that I had antibodies

Make up your mind, woman!

[Ursa Major]

Well, I think that if she admits you really have celiac disease, she may look at the fact that she likely has it too, and so do your siblings. They all sound like they can't tolerate gluten! Plus, she'd have to look at that it was likely her who gave you the genes. It's easier to pretend it's not really happening.

It IS maddening, but try not to let it get to you, you need to look after yourself. Just remind her that you have been diagnosed with celiac disease, and that you feel soooooooooooo much better off gluten. She'll hopefully get used to that thought after a while, and maybe even try the gluten-free diet herself one day.

And as for her and your sister having 'outgrown' the problem........I think the symptoms have just changed and aren't as obvious any more (as in, widely known symptoms, she likely has others that most people don't commonly associate with celiac disease).

[key]

Describes my mom to a T! This is literally exactly what my mom does. It drives me crazy. Sometimes she is supportive and other times she says it is in my head. If I have a reaction and mention it to her, she will always say it is from anything, but gluten. It is either Soy or my poor diet or I don't eat enough. My diet isn't poor and I eat enough. I find that I really can't talk to her about any of it very often. It just frustrates me.

No, I don't think it is normal to wake up and throw up in the night. That has never happened to me.

I am not getting a hundred percent better gluten free either though. I think maybe I can't tolerate dairy after all and who knows what else.

Monica

[CarlaB]

My family is in total denial that I have this, except for my dad who is excited about how much healthier I look. Last time I saw my mom she wanted to order pizza for dinner, so we did. I looked around her house for something I could eat, couldn't find anything, so my husband took me out to dinner. Then my mom gossiped to everyone how we were so rude because we didn't invite them to dinner with us! We even paid for the pizza!! Family can be tough.

I have a question, Chelse mentioned non-celiac gluten intolerance. Even if it was, you still wouldn't get over it, right?

I had the antibodies, Antigliadin IgA and Transglutaminase IgA, but do not carry the celiac gene, but do carry two copies of the gluten intolerance gene. At the time of the test, I had been gluten-free for a couple of months, and except for my gluten challenge, had restricted the wheat for three years (before I knew what I had I knew wheat made me sick). My absorption barely was in range, and I know at the time of the test my absorption was significantly better than it had been ... I was eating about half as much as I had been eating before, yet I still eat about double what normal people my size eat.

I guess my question is, it seems like celiac, so what's the difference between celiac and gluten intolerance? I also had joint pain, brain fog, low thyroid, and the classic intestinal symptoms, so I'm having trouble understanding the difference.

[VydorScope]

Well, I think that if she admits you really have celiac disease, she may look at the fact that she likely has it too, and so do your siblings. They all sound like they can't tolerate gluten! Plus, she'd have to look at that it was likely her who gave you the genes. It's easier to pretend it's not really happening.

I would guess that this nails it exaclty. But add in to it he gilt of not getting you all taken care of as kids properly... its a somewhat irrational guilt that any parent would understnad, but most childern dont.

I guess my question is, it seems like celiac, so what's the difference between celiac and gluten intolerance? I also had joint pain, brain fog, low thyroid, and the classic intestinal symptoms, so I'm having trouble understanding the difference.

From what I can tell the only difference it celiac disease is when they find damage in the intestins. The cuases, the symptons, etc are all identical, so is the treatment.

[CarlaB]

I think you're right about it being guilt. My mom is in denial and I think part of it is that if she admitted I had it, first of all, since I have two genes (one from her!) and since she has the symptoms, she would have to admit she had it. Where the guilt comes in is that she would also have to admit that I really did have all those stomachaches as a kid and that I really don't suffer from a low threshhold of pain as she always said. It wasn't entirely her fault, of course, since the docs told her I was okay and my stomach always hurt. I would think the kid was making it up for attention, too.

Being a parent, you just have to always tell yourself that you did the best you could. It's very easy to look back and see mistakes, but it's not so easy to forecast them!

[shellhoo]

In my early days as celiac before I knew I had it, i would do that all the time. I would just go into the bathroom and vomit and feel better immediately.

[penguin]

I would guess that this nails it exaclty. But add in to it he gilt of not getting you all taken care of as kids properly... its a somewhat irrational guilt that any parent would understnad, but most childern dont.

I'm pretty sure that with my mom it is concern that I have something life long that could potentially be life threatening. She knows I have a problem with gluten, she's just hoping it's just an intolerance, not celiac. I would eat anything as a child but had a "sensitive stomach" after my brother and sister both went away to school and I got stomachaches all the time. I had a massive workup and they said it was stress, or that I was doing it for attention. My mom was a nurse and has always taken very good care of us, and didn't take illness lying down. In fact, since she lost a child she is especially over protective and wary of incompetent drs. I don't think it's a guilt thing. We all had workups and nothing was ever found. Well, except for me and the celiac.

My mom's getting tested at her next checkup, but she doesn't eat much gluten. She said it used to aggrivate her arthritis before she got her knees replaced So she got out of the habit. She still confuses me

[tarnalberry]

I'm sorry she's presenting a confusing picture. She's probably conflicted herself.

*hugs*

I'm glad she's getting tested.