Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):


Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

2kids4me

Aspergers Support Thread

Recommended Posts

I bet that Albert Einstein solved his math problems the 'wrong' way as well.

That is one of the reasons Albert Einstein was a genius. He saw the world from outside of the traditional box.

I remember my son's fouth grade special ed teacher telling me that he got to the right math answer by working from both ends toward the middle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I love that animal school movie! Every teacher and parent should watch that.

I struggled with math (still do). I could (and still do) often reach the right conclusion, but in my own way. Unfortunately, having the right answer was never good enough, my way of coping and solving math problems my way was unacceptable. If I didn't have all the 'right' steps down on paper, I'd still get a zero, as just having the right answer was 'wrong'. But how could it be wrong? Why do teachers think there should only be one acceptable way of solving problems?

My son had the same problem. He solved math problems differently, skipping some steps and adding other, 'unacceptable' ones. I remember seeing a math test when he was in high school, that was just covered in red. He got a failing mark. Yet ALL of the answers were right! He just solved the problems the 'wrong' way. It made me absolutely furious. How dare those teachers do that to kids!

I bet that Albert Einstein solved his math problems the 'wrong' way as well.

Ursa,

That was me at school too! They'd show us the right way, but many times I'd do it my way. Fortunately most if not all of my teachers were pretty open to different methods of problem solving once my answers were right; some of them even demonstrated more than one way of getting the answer on the board.

Some people are just too rigid to accept anything that varies from their blueprint... it's a crying shame. I can't imagine how devasted your son must have felt when he got that test back!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
son had the same problem. He solved math problems differently, skipping some steps and adding other, 'unacceptable' ones. I remember seeing a math test when he was in high school, that was just covered in red. He got a failing mark. Yet ALL of the answers were right! He just solved the problems the 'wrong' way. It made me absolutely furious. How dare those teachers do that to kids!

I bet that Albert Einstein solved his math problems the 'wrong' way as well.

The ironic thing is, the Aspies are considered "rigid?!"

Who's being rigid here? The (supposedly normal) teachers!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ursa,

That was me at school too! They'd show us the right way, but many times I'd do it my way. Fortunately most if not all of my teachers were pretty open to different methods of problem solving once my answers were right; some of them even demonstrated more than one way of getting the answer on the board.

Some people are just too rigid to accept anything that varies from their blueprint... it's a crying shame. I can't imagine how devasted your son must have felt when he got that test back!

John got very discouraged and frustrated with school, and eventually just gave up. He is one of the smartest people I know, possibly smarter than me. But he eventually graduated from grade 12 with an average of 56% I think (six years ago). Those rigid teachers just did him in.

He does not have AS, but there is no doubt in my mind that he has ADD, and some Aspie traits. I am so glad that he was able to apply to college as a mature student (right after his 21st birthday). Heritage theological college in Cambridge, Ontario has a great policy. They don't care about highschool marks. If you can prove during the first term that you can manage to do well in all of your courses, you're in for good. If not, you have to leave. Needless to say, John gets marks in the nineties there.

Also, our church realized what a visionary he is, and hired him as our youth pastor (making him a full pastor) before he was 23. The youth adore him, and the youth group has grown tremendously since he has been our youth pastor.

If only our stupid schools could be as tolerant of people's differences, and their different approaches to things, he wouldn't have been utterly miserable all through school (just as I was, the German school system is no less rigid than the Canadian one).

My oldest daughter had the same problems, and my youngest daughter (the only teenager I have now) isn't happy in school, either. The only two who did well were the two outgoing ones, who are both completely different from me (and are more like their dad, which isn't necessarily a great thing).

Debbie, one thing that is very important is this: People with AS take a long time to get comfortable with others. Continuity is very important. For kids to have a new teacher every year in elementary school, as is the custom here in Canada, is devastating for kids with AS. By the time they dare be themselves and feel accepted, they have to get used to a new teacher, and different classmates! It will guarantee failure in the social area, and is terrible for academics as well. Because if you feel uncomfortable in your surroundings, you don't learn well.

At least in Germany kids will have the same teacher for four years in a row. That is very helpful (only if the teacher and the kid like each other, though).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The ironic thing is, the Aspies are considered "rigid?!"

Who's being rigid here? The (supposedly normal) teachers!

OUCH!!!!

I think that you need to know is that in Scotland(don

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry, Debbie, I didn't mean you! I meant Ursa Major's son's teacher (and other teachers who think that the child MUST do the math problem the prescribed way, even though they can get the correct answer by doing it a different way).

3 weeks out of 4 years, and they call it a specialisation????!! Who do they think they're kidding?

That's like trying to become a concert violinist, spending 3 years and 49 weeks studying music theory, and only spending 3 weeks studying the violin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sorry, Debbie, I didn't mean you! I meant Ursa Major's son's teacher (and other teachers who think that the child MUST do the math problem the prescribed way, even though they can get the correct answer by doing it a different way).

3 weeks out of 4 years, and they call it a specialisation????!! Who do they think they're kidding?

That's like trying to become a concert violinist, spending 3 years and 49 weeks studying music theory, and only spending 3 weeks studying the violin.

Don

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The ironic thing is, the Aspies are considered "rigid?!"

Who's being rigid here? The (supposedly normal) teachers!

Alison, I don't think it is entirely the teacher's fault. They are taught in teacher's college that they need to make all the students conform to the 'one and only right way', and anybody who doesn't fit the norm will fail. It's called 'outcome based education'. They state things like, "students will display whatever attitude by the end of the term to pass", or "students will show aptitude in whatever way of doing things". But some students won't do any of those things, because people are unique.

With me an added problem was, that I simply don't conform. If I can't do it my way (which is often the only way I am ABLE to do certain things) then I won't do it.

About fifteen years ago (for several years) my obsession was the education system. I own probably thirty or more books on the problems of the educational system, and the history of the public school system.

It is a little known fact that the public school system was never intended to educate, but to brainwash kids to believe whatever they were 'supposed' to believe according to government policy. One of the goals is, to get them to stop thinking for themselves to become non-thinking pawns, who will believe and do whatever the government tells them.

Teachers who don't go with that and treat kids as individuals often get into trouble. Groupthink is what is expected from kids, not thinking out of the box.

The public school system was invented by the Prussians. The goal was, to get especially boys to become good soldiers, who would obey orders without question. It worked so well, that they made the public schools mandatory for all kids. It is exceedingly difficult to homeschool in Germany. Even though it isn't officially unlawful, they'll send the police to collect kids that don't show up for school!

I often hear people claim that there were a lot more illiterate people before the public schools started operating. That is not true. Before public schools, there were many small schools, operated and paid for by parents, which did an excellent job of teaching kids. The parents were in charge and could hire and fire teachers, according to how well they taught (you try to get incompetent teachers fired these days, it is pretty much impossible).

Kids who's parents couldn't afford to pay for schooling would be allowed to attend free of charge. Rich people often had tutors for their home schooled kids, many others would teach them themselves. The rate of literacy was about 90% then. Now it is merely around 50% (a lot of people who have gone through the public schools are functionally illiterate).

I have dealt with some great teachers for my kids, but many more mediocre or plain ignorant ones (some of them pretty unintelligent). The one teacher my three oldest had in grade one had to hide her phonics books in the cupboard when an inspector came, because she was supposed to be teaching only the whole word method then. Those three could read perfectly by the end of grade one. In fact, with that teacher EVERY child could read by the end of grade one. They all got a great foundation.

The next child had a teacher who was very dedicated, but very ignorant and very brainwashed (she couldn't spell either, her notes were full of spelling mistakes). She thought the whole word method was fabulous. This teacher would show up three hours before class, to prepare the 'perfect' lessons, and stay at least another hour after school. Too bad that not a single child learned to read in her class! By the end of grade one, one child could read, and her mother had taught her before she started school.

I took my daughter out of her class to home school her three months before school was out. The teacher was devastated, claiming that Janet could read well. Actually, Janet has an excellent memory and had memorized nearly 100 children's books, word for word. But if you covered up the pictures, she didn't even recognize words like 'with' or 'and' or equally simple words!

I taught her phonics, and she read perfectly within a month. It wasn't that she was dumb, it was the method that didn't work. Then our school district had the gall to send somebody to check on me, three months after I started home schooling Janet. She tested her, and wrote a report, stating that she saw no good reason for me having taken her out of school, since she read well above grade level!

When I got a copy of that report, which was sent to several places, including the school, I was just furious. I sent them a letter, stating the truth, and sent copies to everybody who they had sent a copy of the report to. I made sure to tell them that Janet could read well, because I had taught her, and that she couldn't read a single simple word beforehand.

With our youngest I didn't bother with public schooling until grade seven. And then only because I was having less and less energy and simply couldn't do it any more.

My oldest daughter is home schooling all her children. I am glad that here in Canada that is possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

*UPDATE*

My son had his doctor appointment today. It went surprisingly well. Of course, at first Jay refused to speak, make eye contact, or anything else - but when the doctor knelt down to his level to shake his hand, Jay did shake the doctors back.

15 minutes into the session Dr. L says something like, "So I understand you really like sharks - which is your favorite?"

Jay - "The Great White."

Dr. L - "Oh, a great white, that's the largest and most dangerous shark."

Jay stops fiddling with his jacket, turns and looks him straight in the eye and said, "Actually, the great white is the largest predatory shark, the whale shark is the largest shark."

From that point on.... I knew it would be ok. =)

(ETA: I just watched that video.... and I'm in tears.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ursa Major, thank you for the enlightening and fascinating history--I had no IDEA! Wow.

I must have been very lucky--I think the teachers I had in the public school were strongly affected by the 60's, and we were taught to think for ourselves.

Interesting to see the teachers my kids have, though, and the methods they use. The previous math curriculum consisted of many "mad minutes," where the child had to do as many problems in one minute as possible. That's stress enough right there, but in the Catholic school my younger two attend, the teacher would only count as correct the ones they did before their first mistake. Therefore, the daughter of one of my friends received a score of 7/100, even though she had 99 correct. She made an error on problem #8, so #8 AND the next 92 problems were counted as wrong.

Thank heavens, the school changed its curriculum and that teacher no longer teaches 2nd grade, but kindergarten, where they don't receive grades, and I haven't heard of any other complaints about her.

But over in the public school, they refused to teach the multiplication tables, relying instead on the idiotic mad minutes. In the end, I taught my son the multiplication tables, and he did fine. In fact, he was later one of the only 6th graders to do well in math, while all the other kids (who had not learned multiplication tables) were unable to keep up.

On the other hand, his 4th grade teacher was phenominal, not just for him but for other children as well. One of my neighbors has a 22-year-old son, who was probably the first ADD/Aspie kid this teacher had ever met (it was her first year). For some reason, he couldn't stand his desk and chair. Instead of forcing him to use them, she let him sit on the floor and use the chair as a desk--FOR THE WHOLE SCHOOL YEAR.

Very interesting what you say about brainwashing. Apparently, it works--look at how everyone rushes to buy cold medicines that don't cure colds, and flu shots that are probably not necessary or helpful, etc. And coffee--that's basically a legalized uppper, a major stimulant with all kinds of effects on the nervous system --and our whole society thinks that it is not only normal to NEED it to function, but everyone's willing to pay $3-4 per cup at Starbuck's! And the number of parents who think it's just fine to let their kids drink Coca-cola, Pepsi, and Mountain Dew--and then they wonder why their kids can't concentrate, or why they are bouncing off the walls, or why the rates for things like bipolar disorder and ADD are skyrocketing.

And let's not even get started on vaccines (or gluten)!

I think I'd better shut up now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
*UPDATE*

My son had his doctor appointment today. It went surprisingly well. Of course, at first Jay refused to speak, make eye contact, or anything else - but when the doctor knelt down to his level to shake his hand, Jay did shake the doctors back.

15 minutes into the session Dr. L says something like, "So I understand you really like sharks - which is your favorite?"

Jay - "The Great White."

Dr. L - "Oh, a great white, that's the largest and most dangerous shark."

Jay stops fiddling with his jacket, turns and looks him straight in the eye and said, "Actually, the great white is the largest predatory shark, the whale shark is the largest shark."

From that point on.... I knew it would be ok. =)

(ETA: I just watched that video.... and I'm in tears.)

What a great doctor! Getting to Jay's eye level (making himself less ominous), and showing interest in what is the most important subject to him shows he really cares.

Alison, if they would have done 'mad minutes' when I was a kid, I would have shut down for the day right there. Poor little girl, how very unfair, to only count the right answers up to the first mistake! That is so wrong, and so discouraging for the kids. But that's just it, they are supposed to except unfair treatment like that without question.

And that's true, most people are brainwashed about lots of things. Most of all thinking that whatever the government does is right and lawful, and if they are told by government officials that something is good for them, it must be so (like with vaccines, and drugs the extremely corrupt FDA approves). Our Canadian government is breaking all kinds of laws normal people wouldn't get away with.

In fact, in reality the income tax is unlawful! They are robbing the people, literally. Most people don't want to believe that the government does NOT have their best interests at heart (even though there are some good, honest politicians, of course).

I have read accounts of things teachers are taught in teacher's college that would make most people's hair curl. Like: "All kids entering Kindergarten have mental problems due to their parent's teaching, and it's your job to undo that damage and to correct their thinking". Of course, most of all they are talking about kids from religious families, they consider them to be brainwashed, and in great need of having their thinking changed to the humanistic (atheist) point of view.

14 years ago, when my son was in grade four (he was ten), he came home in tears. It was 'Earth Day', and the teacher had played them a recording that stated that if people won't change their ways, the earth would be destroyed within a year, and everybody would die. I was sooooooooo mad! I called the school and complained.

And the kids coming home and telling me that the teacher told them to make sure their parents don't use disposable dishes, plastic bags, or disposable diapers, because that was a bad thing to do and we were polluting the planet. The kids were then to report what their parents did, and how successful they were in 'educating' the parents. They were also supposed to try to enforce recycling and composting. You bet I resented that interference with things that weren't the school's business. We pay school taxes for the kids to be educated, not brainwashed, and being turned into little snitches! I felt like we live in a communist country.

I was constantly educating the kids on the truth, trying to undo the damage the school did. I found it awfully stressful to stay on top of all the brainwashing going on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My son qualifies for special education and GATE (Gifted and Talented Education). We never made any use of the GATE services. The Special Education services have allowed him to have his education program adapted to his needs.

We are lucky in that the school district we live in, through elementary school, has combined classrooms (one regular class and teacher with the special education class and one special education teacher and aides)

His high school teachers have been very carefully picked to match his learning style and personality.

Teachers make the difference. He would not be in advance placement History and English classes in high school if it were not for his eight grade Humanities teacher. She has an autistic child. She recognized his skill level and met him on his ground. He was allowed to pace the classroom if he needed to. She knew he was still listening where many teachers would not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The teachers that seemed to recognize when Kathryn was truly struggling or having an off day (because someone moved her boots in the boot room)... were either parents themselves or were williing to think outside the box - not being rigid in terms of expectations.

The mad minutes - yup, almost drove me mad...as soon as I found out .. I went in and said - you set her up for failure because all she will do is watch the clock to see when the minute is up. Togther we came up with this : they would give her the sheet - and time her - but she would be allowed as much time as she needed to complete it. Nothing causes more stress than for Kathryn to have to stop and look at a sheet half done :o ( * this was in grade 5) ...so the goal for Kathryn was to take less time on the next math sheet. Kathryn thought this was perfect..no stress cause didnt matter how long it took but she had motivation to speed up for the next one. She went from 10 miutes to 2 minutes over the course of the year. In grade 8, she had 87%in math on last report card.

*It worked so well with Kathryn they had a few other students with different learning styles start doing the same thing. Funny, those kids are also doing well in grade 8 math while some of their peers struggle.

We recently had to do some advocating (read: sh** disturbing) for Kathryn for after school help. She was supposed to be getting help at the end of the day, organizing homework and prioritizing if there was a lot. Well, one too many times I found her sitting by her locker looking exhausted and not knowing what to take home, bummed cause she had homework.....AND in the last several months she has been sick off and on and is still getting bloodwork done to try and find out what is going on - that's another story in itself! (waiting for an ENA profile to see if its Lupus)

So the learning resource teacher (young / recent grad) cheerfully tells me that she is available in her class every day if Kathryn needs help. All Kathryn has to do is go to the class.

Well, I replied, she is a coded student who is under stress and since when is it up to her to seek out help. Help should be there for her. Kathryn also told me that at the end of the day - she forgot that there was a teacher to help her and didnt know where to go. Within 48 hours of my conversation and a letter to the principal - she has an aide helping her for the last 15 minutes of the day....so she can be at her locker while the hall is quiet and have adult help sorting things out.

When they do loud activities in math class (math games), she is allowed to go next door to a vacant room and work on math.

...Sandy ...the poop disturber

EDIT, wanted to add - Kathryn had many tests in the early grades - she was classified as "upper range of the mentally deficient". We did not believe these tests accurately reflected her true self - and luckily her teacher that year didn't believe it either. Kinda like Dr. Owl's report in the animal school video, Kathryn never saw it. She has been on the honour roll for last 2 reports in grade eight. It wasn't easy and required a lot of effort and perseverance on Kathryn's side, and she still works very hard to learn certain subjects (math and spelling are easy to her), Language arts and social are hardest, with storywriting and studying culture differences being the most challenging aspects of those topics.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sandy, I didn't even think of that, but you're so right about just watching the clock in horror as the minutes tick by, too paralyzed by the thought of not being able to do what they demand in just one minute! I do very poorly on any timed tests.

If they'd try to do a timed IQ test on me, I would suddenly not have a very high IQ any more :ph34r: . Unfortunately, a lot of the brightest kids have the same problem. And so, while they have an IQ in the gifted range, they have been labeled as having just an average IQ and being trouble makers (because of extreme boredom), like my son.

John was once tested through the school. He supposedly has an IQ of 110 (I think it was around there). The tester told me in confidence (after I had to promise not to tell anybody what he said) that the tests are purposely set up in such a way that they WON'T identify gifted kids, because gifted kids are considered a pain in the neck. They will require special classes, special attention, and cost more.

So, knowing that a lot of gifted kids are perfectionists and don't do well on timed tests, they set the time limit so low that any of that type of kid will do very poorly. And of course, my son is an extreme perfectionist. Plus, the questions are mostly geared towards knowledge, not intelligence. He told me that if he would not do the tests the way they expected him to, he would be fired, and so he had no choice but do it their way.

He told me that John's IQ is much higher than what the test showed, and that the result was utterly meaningless. But, of course, it justified them not doing a thing for him. I was very upset.

Of course, the guy had a choice. He could stop working for the school board. I myself wouldn't be able to live with myself, if I knowingly deceived kids and their parents into believing that they weren't gifted, when in fact they were. He was a perfect pawn, destroying lives. At least I am glad he told me what he did (even though I knew that John has an IQ of at least 140, not 110, and would never have accepted that ridiculous score as true).

If he would have told me that my husband and my fourth child have an IQ of 110, I would have believed that, because I know it would be true. For the other four kids and myself, I know it isn't. Of course, I would never have demanded special treatment and testing for my second-youngest daughter, she was fine were she was.

I am glad you are able to get the services she needs for Kathryn. But isn't it an ongoing struggle, having to constantly make sure your kids get the help they need? It would be awfully nice if it wasn't necessary to spend so much energy advocating for something that is rightfully theirs to have.

The 'upper range of the mentally deficient' nonsense reminds me of Albert Einstein. He was considered retarded by his grade school teachers. Retarded indeed. And Thomas Edison was considered 'addled', meaning stupid and deranged. Right. After they kicked him out of school his mother home schooled him. We all know what he did then, I am sure.

Phyllis, it sounds like your son is in a great school. Fortunately, they do exist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok... we did our first "home therapy session" this morning. Josh's doctor gave us an assignment. When he has a meltdown, once it's over and he's calm and rational, we have to sit down together and identify the starting and ending triggers as well as identify all thoughts that occurred during the meltdown.

I learned something about my son, today, that I've never known. Something he was afraid to tell me for fear that I'd think there was something wrong with him.

We had a meltdown last night but once I got him calm, he fell instantly asleep. So we weren't able to talk about the issues until this morning. He informed me that he sees colors around people, and always has. They aren't auras, per se, rather identifiers of "good, bad, or indifferent."

I didn't understand so I asked him to try to explain, and it was difficult for him. But, he told me that I'm usually blue. When I'm in an exceptionally good mood I'm surrounded by green. When I'm angry, I'm surrounded by red. He perceives red as a threat, and when he sees a threat - everything turns red and he feels like he has to fight his way out of the redness.

When he was in occupational therapy, we used to do a "Josh Burrito" where we'd wrap him up real tight in blankets, to provide deep pressure. He calmed last night when I applied deep pressure - and told me that is really the only way he can "regroup."

Honestly... I'm a bit overwhelmed by this information. At first, I didn't believe what he was telling me and started thinking he was just saying "anything" to get me to shut up. He can't read facial expressions, but he said that it doesn't matter. Some people smile and appear to be "happy" when they are really showing red, and he knows that they are trying to cover up. I got perturbed by an email that I'd received - and he asked me what was wrong. I had not changed mannerisms or anything - in fact, I didn't even look up, and he said, "you are turning orange mom."

Orange, to him, is one step before red - and he doesn't like it. While he likes the colors themselves, when he sees orange, red, and certain shades of yellow in people, he senses that he's supposed to be leary and even fearful. Genius? Madness? Something much more than we'd originally thought??

I've actually been debating this post all day long. I kept thinking that you all would think I'm nuts and that there is seriously something wrong with my boy. Though, I've been telling him all day that this is a gift and nothing to be afraid of. And, I assured him that I don't think he's weird, nor do I think there is anything wrong with him. However.......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have heard of that before - where emotions are perceived as colors - I will see if I can find a resource for you. It has a physiological component related to body heat and phermones.( I think) Some kids in the autistic spectrum can see the spectrum of light under flourescent lights or in bright sunlight.

he's not crazy - but very perceptive!!

The snugging down in a blanket is scientific as well, the firm pressure calms the central nervous system, We use the same approach for nervous cats ........ cattle are processed in a squeeze chute - as the sides squeeze aginst them with firm pressure, they relax.

Think of how a squishy hug helps us.

The difference is that Aspies /autistics often dont like "people squishies", but love being snugged up in a blanket or waering down filled vest (its like a hug).

Sandy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Found it! Hope it makes you feel better that enough people have had the same experience that a University studied it, plus it has a name! Makes it easier to search for info.

The case study, reported in the October issue of Cognitive Neuropsychology, shows how some people can experience colours in response to people they know or words that evoke emotions - a condition known as emotion-colour synaesthesia.

Dr Jamie Ward, author of the study, says: "A popular notion is that some people have a magical ability to detect the hidden emotions of others by seeing a colourful 'aura' or energy field that they give off. Our study suggests a different interpretation. These colours do not reflect hidden energies being given off by other people, rather they are created entirely in the brain of the beholder."

Synaesthesia is a condition found in 1 in 2000 people in which stimulation of one sense produces a response in one or more of the other senses. For example, people with synaesthesia may experience shapes with tastes or smells with sounds. It is thought to originate in the brain and some scientists believe it might be caused by a cross-wiring in the brain, for example between centres involved in emotional processing and smell perception. Synaesthesia is known to run in families.

http://www.news-medical.net/?id=5619

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kris, what you're telling us about your son makes great sense. I don't see those colours. But I have communicated with many people on the autistic spectrum who see different colours for all kinds of things.

I don't read facial expressions well, either, but I can somehow feel it when somebody is angry. The whole room will feel angry, and I will feel very afraid when that happens. It feels very oppressive.

The same thing happens when somebody feels impatient towards me. When people have strong emotions I can feel them without looking at the person.

I need to tuck myself in tight to be able to sleep. I put the blanket over my head, then snug it around the back of my head and my back, and put it around my face. Then I'll pull the rest of it close at the front, and move my feet around, pulling the blanket with my feet until they are snugged in as well. I have a lot more trouble going to sleep in the summer, when it is too hot for doing that.

But I can't handle anything really tight around me, squeezing me. That makes me feel like I am suffocating, and I'll have a panic attack. The same thing happens if people hug me and won't let go when I need them to.

That's one reason not many people are allowed to hug me, they need to understand that first of all, I need to know the hug is coming, and they need to know that it can't last long. Only friends know that.

It took my husband 25 years to believe me, and to respect that. Before my AS diagnosis he would forcibly keep holding onto me, until I screamed, having a terrible panic attack. He used to say, "That isn't normal, you need to get over that." Well, I CAN'T get over that! Anyway, he needed to hear from an AS specialist that he needed to stop that. He didn't believe me.

These colours do not reflect hidden energies being given off by other people, rather they are created entirely in the brain of the beholder."

If that interpretation was true, how is it then possible that Jay will see the colours without seeing his mother's face? And even if he WOULD see her face, he might not know what the facial expression means.

This is another example of people who DON'T themselves have this perception, trying to interpret it as something other than what it really is. How do they know? This is just a theory, which has not been proven.

Would they say that when I feel anger in the room, that it just originates in my brain, too? That wouldn't make any sense at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you have to read the whole article for it to make sense (I only copied part of it), my interpretation is that some people do see colors because their brain is wired differently and they are picking up clues from people that are fed through different pathways. Their brain is wired differently and has learned to identify colors with emotions.. think of animals, they can pick up very subtle clues about a person's emotional state without looking at them. Some have postulated that they are picking up phermones and other clues our body emits.

My own dog can be walking in a field, I dont see or hear a thing but her hackles are up, she is trying to get me to go back... so I listen to her and then as I drive away, I see coyotes in an adacent field - in the far distance. She didnt see them, she didnt smell them - (I dont think). She reacts to certain people that way too - someone can come to the door that she knows, she barks less, wags her tail before she even gets there and before the door is opened (before I even get to the door and know who it is)...but a stranger or someone that is pushy - hackles, barking etc. I think some people have these same senses - whatever they may be - and can interpret signals most others are not aware of...

I think we need to listen to people like Jay, because I bet he has an acute awareness of people around him and he should use that as a gauge for how he interacts. Kind of like "trust your instincts".

People who see colors or sense emotions have heightened awareness about others. I think the "different wiring" they refer to - is that they are processing information, be it visual or smell or body language - and processing it in a way that gives them accurate information.

Probably more accurate than any NT

Yes, it is something a NT can only guess about ...

Sandy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Anyway, he needed to hear from an AS specialist that he needed to stop that. He didn't believe me.

I can relate to that!! I have had diabetes the entire time we have been married - 17 years - EVERY time I have a severe low blood sugar and am needing dextrose - ( I am sweating, hands shaking)..my dh decides that is the time to quiz me How much do you want? how come you're low?, isnt this an unusual time to be low? When did you last eat? Did you miss a snack? I have told him repeatedly, my brain cannot function at this time, the questioning aggravates me and I get upset. I even tell him some people get combative when they are low AND irritability is a symptom. Last time I was low and he did this, he then walked away and LEFT me :blink: (he went outside) because I was so miserable to talk to - after all, he was only asking questions because he was concerned and I wasn't appreciative of that!

My son complains about the same thing - and he has been labeled as uncooperative and difficult as well. I have threatened to give dh a shot of insulin, wait for it to kick in and then ask him 5 or 6 questions....

He too is the type that has to either 1) experience it himself or 2) be told by a professional.

I do not understand why my explanation of what it's like for me - is not good enough.

sandy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have an internet friend, met her years ago, who sees colors over people. She sees it as a gift she has and uses it for the ministry she's in. She's very involved in the ministry and when people are in God's Spirit and being used by God she knows by lights around them that are green. When a false prophet comes or someone is not being used by God but they are using their own might she knows because she see's red lights flashing all over them. You can see this is most valuable because its hard to know the difference expecially upon first meeting people.

Also I don't like hugs from people either. It's just to intimate. I do it because its customary but I tend to hold my breath the whole time. My smell is super sensitive and I can smell everything! I pick up odors like a dog. Its strange but I know the minute my husband hugs me if a woman has hugged him that day. But its not unusual that he'll get a hug because he's with patients all day and when he really helps them they're so happy they hug him.

Gail

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand my son's fear, because after I typed my post last night, I was terribly afraid to come back here for fear that you all would say the same thing... "get that kid to another doctor, asap."

I'm quite glad to see that isn't the case.

I feel terrible for doubting what he says, it's just really hard to grasp. This morning after Sunday school he walked up to my classroom, he doesn't normally do that - he waits for me in the cafeteria. I smiled, said hi to him... and gave him a quick squeeze. (He hates being touched, but doesn't mind a quick hug from mom or dad now and then) He smiled back and asked if I needed any help. A few minutes later we walked downstairs together and he asked to go outside on the playground with his friend. I let him go, while I had a brief conversation with our DRE. I was NOT at all happy with the conversation, nor was I very happy with a parent of one of my students. Yet, when I walked out to get Jay - all he saw was my smile. We talked about class as we hopped in the car. Knowing that he'd not heard any of my conversation, knowing that he'd not SEEN me get upset and had only observed the smile and "happy" mannerisms I was displaying, I asked him what color he was seeing around me. He became very uneasy....and said, "Well, blue and red." My jaw dropped open and I said, "Really? You see red?" He started fidgeting in his seat... and said no, but continued to fidget... and then he shook his head again and said, "I don't know why mom, you seem happy, but I do see red."

I was doing a search for this type of thing last night. And, of course... I kept coming up with all this stuff about "Indigo Children" or "Crystal Children" - and then I stumbled upon Daniel Tammat, and his book Born on a Blue Day.

I feel so confused. It seems that this very well could be "real" - that he sees these things. But, it also reaffirms that he's been touched by Autism, in some way. Would I change *anything* about him if I could? Absolutely not. Would I wish to go back in time and undo things... no way. I just want to make his life easier. I want to be able to help him become an upstanding, kind, generous, respectful, and *happy* adult. I don't care if he makes a million dollars a year. All I want is for him to do whatever it is that will make him happy.

I found a post in an Asperger's forum last night about a little boy who's parents were constantly telling him that he wasn't as good as the other kids in x,y, and z and that he should not embarrass himself by trying to do things they'd know he would not succeed in. Why do parents feel the night to try to stifle their children?? Sure, I'd love to put my kids in a protective bubble and keep them by my side 24/7 - but it's not reality. All I can really do is give them a soft place to fall if they fail. But, I'd much rather spend my time encouraging him - and giving him the foundation to achieve his goals, reach his aspirations.

I do want to sincerely thank you ladies for this thread. I honestly have no idea how I would even begin to "deal" with all of this if I didn't have you to talk to. I haven't even discussed this with any close friends, no family - I feel it's a little too "out there" until I have a better understanding. I pray that comes sooner than later. But, for right now... you are really helping me more than you probably realize. A very sincere thank you to each of you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kris you are so gentle and understanding of your son. It makes me want to cry. He'll be all he's meant to be simply because he's in an environment of love and compassion. I really believe he'll be fine. I'm also glad for this discussion, its been so enlightening.

I always wondered why I attract kids with special needs. For instance about 3 mo. ago I was in barnes and noble with my husband. I went over to the magazine racks and there was a boy about 9 or 10. I could tell he was looking at me and he started up with making noises like someone with tourettes syndrome. Someone then came and got him.

I was over in the music part of the store and he came bounding in looked at me and said "there you are I was looking for you. " :P I didn't want to get him into trouble so I didn't say anything back and along came someone again to get him.

This has happened more then once were kids would follow me around. I do know when I'm in a place like a book store my demeanor is happy and I'm clear of all worry and whatever would pull me down. I'm there in the moment and enjoy it.

I try to notice all the little things that comes my way because I never know how God talks me. People never cross your path by happenstance everything happens for a reason.

Gail

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites