Ain't That The Truth

[Darn210]

Shared by a member of our local support group:

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE CELIAC DISEASE:

if you read the ingredient label on green tea - plain green tea.

if you just discovered how to make flour out of turnips.

if you know that Xanthan Gum is not for chewing.

if you know exactly when Post added barley flavoring back to the

Fruity Pebbles and you're ticked.

if a 7 Course Meal is a 1 Course Meal for you. Lettuce.

if your mother is afraid to do the cooking.

if you don't lick stamps.

if you cry when you discover a new way to make gluten-free bread. And

call all your relatives.

if you sit on the phone with a pharmacy for an hour to find out what

type of starch they use just so that you can take a generic Tylenol

and be rid of your headache.

if you know that spelt is a distant cousin of wheat, but buckwheat is

not related to wheat at all.

if the construction workers working on the house next door to you can

EASILY substitute your bread for one of their bricks.

if your grandmother INSISTS that you don't have celiac, you're just

"suffering from malabsorption"

if you burst into tears of relief at the sight of the words "gluten

free" stamped on the corner of the Nestle hot cocoa mix.

if you actually KNOW what an anti-TTG and an IGA blood test are.

if you've disinherited loved ones for putting their knife in your mayo.

if you sold your house to buy groceries.

if you compare all of your food to "normal-people-food."

if you can find "hidden gluten" in food labels in the blink of an eye.

if your family couldn't find it if they had a magnifying glass,

dictionary, and Ph.D.

if you wept the first time you tried to make gluten free sugar cookies

if you get a medical exemption out of cooking class because they are

baking bread.

if at Christmas, visions of guar gum dance in your head.

if you've had to give a doctor a crash course in Celiac 101.

if you've "brown bagged it" to an elegant dinner engagement.

if you've installed floor-to-ceiling bookcases in your bathroom.

if you've ever driven more than 40 miles to buy flour or a cookie.

if you hold your breath when passing by the bakery counter.

if you've ever deliberately rammed your cart into a Shredded Wheat

display in a fit of rage.

if the centerpiece on your dining room table is a bread machine with

memorial candles.

if your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play Doh.

if your bread weighs more than any moon rock could possibly weigh.

if one of your primary goals in life is to create "Fake Oreo Cookies".

if you've brought a suitcase full of food with you on a cruise.

if you pace and circle the store three or four times when deciding on

a new product - pick it up and look at the ingredients each time -

only to leave without it, figuring why bother.

if your family thinks you're crazy for not tasting their new chocolate

chip cookie recipe, because surely a little nibble couldn't hurt,

right?

if you are up late at night trying to develop a recipe for pizza

without flour, cheese, yeast, tomatoes, beef, garlic and oregano.

if you can spell transglutaminase and dermatitis herpetiformis.

if you show up at the annual church pancake breakfast with a mask and

sardine lettuce rollups

if having solid poop is the highlight of your day.

if you have actually doodled a new cartoon dog on your notes named "Sprue".

if you have ever dreamt about Wonder Bread.

if you have considered using a gluten-free bagel for a hockey puck.

if you hide the gluten-free cookies when guests come over, so they

don't eat them.

if you cried when you saw your usually careful husband brushing the

crumbs off his hands (from making a gluten-containing sandwich) RIGHT

OVER the open utensil drawer

if you talk about your disease so much to your friends and

acquaintances that your husband tells you you need to get another

hobby

if you talk about endoscopies and colonoscopies like these are normal

everyday occurences that everyone gets nearly every year.

if you bring "special" beer to the party, and don't share.

if you see someone buying rice flour in the bulk section and you just

have to ask them if they are gluten intolerant too!

[Ridgewalker]

Janet, I LOVE these! This one is my favorite--

if you've ever deliberately rammed your cart into a Shredded Wheat

display in a fit of rage.

:lol:

Totally me.

[ptkds]

THanks for posting this! I really needed the laughs today! It is scary how I can relate to so many of those!

[kbtoyssni]

You mean these aren't normal-person behaviors??? Thanks for posting!

[MedicMan]

Thank you. I really needed that today. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this new adventure.

See ya'

MedicMan

[mommyagain]

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE CELIAC DISEASE:

if you've "brown bagged it" to an elegant dinner engagement.

This is me! In just 2 months I've brown-bagged it to a bridal shower, a wedding, a baby shower, a fall festival, and countless meetings for work where "lunch is provided".

[blueeyedmanda]

You know you have celiac if you can pinpoint all the bathrooms between point A and point B of your trip.

[mamaw]

Too cute!!!! The sad thing it is all true..........

[Silly Yak Pete]

That just describes me so accurately and funny to.