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The doctor called today with my biopsy results and the diagnosis is official. I am waiting on the full report but I did catch "Marsh score 2-3" and "partial blunting." Everything else he said was a blur. The symptoms on top of the blood test results should have been enough but I still found a way to hang on to the denial. I thought for sure there was a mistake somewhere, a misunderstanding.

I have a full range of emotions right now. I am pissed that I have to do this, I am grateful that there is a reason I feel how I feel and that I know how to fix it, I am scared that I will fail, I am terrified that my kids will have to deal with this in their lives and I am excited to see the person I am with gluten out of my body. Will I feel good? More energy? Less irritability? I really feel like this has been an issue all my life, all the struggles I have had can tie back to celiac. Did I mention that I am really mad...and sad?

So, here we go I guess. I am all about instant results and knowing that I have to go through the motions of this diet and I may not see results for a period of time is daunting. This process requires me to have faith that I am healing even if it isn't obvoious...this might be the biggest challenge.

My last two stops at the grocery store have resulted in tears so step 1 for me is to go find groceries without crying and/or slamming food I can't have back on the shelf. My plan of attack is to eat fruit, veggies and chicken for however long it takes for those things to not give me trouble. Cheese sucks for me right now so I can only assume I have some lactose issues. I'd rather be safe than sorry so I am going to ditch the dairy for a bit. I wish I could take a round of antibiotics for this and have it be done. Grumph!!

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I am sorry for the diagnosis and don't mean to sound cynical. I am not. However play the hand your dealt. Dont deal, theres no bargain, no easy way. It sucks. That said you will get through it and it will still suck. As your body heals you will feel better and life will get easier. You will learn what you can and can't have and will see that after this initial storm passes that your symptoms will resolve and you will feel better than you have in a long time. So chin up look up and come to this forum, use the resources and advice in a way that you need to. Its your body so as well meaning as people are not all advice is good advice. Your off to a good start even though right now it may not feel like it.

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Okay, you've had your first rant & rave & it's okay here. I don't think there is hardly a single soul on here who hasn't done that at least one time. It's okay to cry too & have a pity party. We get it.

But I assure you things WILL get better. I'm not saying it will be a wondrous event in the next week or even month but It WILL happen! The first 6 months are kind of 1 step forward, 1 step back --- you will have good days, & bad days & amazing days & sucko days. You may go through gluten withdrawal --- let's hope you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to.

Here's a link to get you started:

http://www.celiac.com/gluten-free/topic/91878-newbie-info-101/

And once you get used to it the diet is really not bad at all. It's a much healthier way of eating in many ways. I actually prefer it to all the crap we (collectively) used to eat.

But for right now I'm going to cry & rant & rave with you & say it's just NOT fair!!!!! This sucks & you didn't do anything so horrid in your life to deserve this!!!!! Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And (((((HUGS))))))

Squirmy

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"This process requires me to have faith that I am healing even if it isn't obvoious...this might be the biggest challenge."

I agree, it takes faith. For me it is Faith in God to bring me through what I cannot get through myself. I am 3 months grain free. It has been quite a struggle, but for the most part I have lost my foggy head and fatigue. I have enjoyed alot of food. The variety of foods I am eating increased rather than decreased.

For you I hope that you will get better. I wrote a topic recently about all of the symptoms which have improved in my 3 month gluten free trip. You may want to read that topic if you can find it.

DT

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Hi mbadger2 - I'm new here too and this is my first post. I just had my biopsy confirmed Friday, August 10th. I'm not sure if it makes you feel any better but you are not alone. I could have written the exact same post.

I think it sucks and I think we are allowed to think it sucks at first. Will it get better? Sure - there's lots of evidence and people to suggest it will, including those posters before me.

Someone was asking me what I would miss the most... There's enough gluten-free stuff out there to provide a placement for my favorite foods, but what I miss is the convenience. As a vegetarian, my favorite fast food place was Subway. So while I am saying goodbye to Subway, I'm looking for my new favorite fast veg gluten-free place. Just haven't found it yet ;)

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