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NateJ

Ah!

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seemed like as good a top title as any.

I'm giving myself a nervous breakdown over this stupid scope tests. I cannot force myself to take the prep meds for my test tomorrow. Every instinct i have is screaming not to take this horrible crud. I've had 4 of these and they never find anything wrong or conclusive or even constructive to say except quit smoking or follow up in 6 months.

I starve myself to the point of exhaustion and have been through every poke prod needle xray scan scope humiliation and embarassment they can dream up and I'm still right back where i started. Underweight, sick, depressed, and at the end of my rope with all of this.

I do not like this GI doctor and don't feel comfortable with him. I'm just over it and want to be able to feel normal again.

 

Idk what i would do without this forum. I hate that others suffer with all of these ailments and it drives me crazy thinking about how most suffer needlessly and without less support than we have.

 

Can you tell i'm overwhelmed by all of this?

 

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Having just done the prep a few weeks ago for a combo colonoscopy & endoscopy with biopsy of my entire GI tract, a test for h.Pylori and polyp removal (amazing what we reveal on her...ahem....) , I can say "I hear you", but

I did it because it was necessary and without it, I'd have no knowledge of my status/prognosis.

 

 

I know it's not exactly the most fun thing to do (and I have had to do it many times in the past, so I get the "poking, prodding thing" ) but if this helps the doctor figure out what else may be going on inside your intestinal tract, well, you may want to just suck it up (or down, in this case) and have him take a look.

 

Good luck. Just think, in 48 hours, it will all be in your rear view mirror. Hang in there.

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this is one of those times i would personally take some xanax - i get all spun up - ugh, i feel for you, buddy.  i don't take but like 1/3 of the dose i am prescribed to fly/travel, but it takes the (unnecessary!  and i can tell myself all day and all night 'you are worrying over nothing') edge off the anxiety.  and helps my guts not to turn to goo <my gi was going to prescribe me some to calm my nerves/help my guts to not spaz out when i stressed but i told her, no thanks i already have some lolz :) 

 

i have been putting off my endo/otherendo scope/follow up and all that until this fall - although i did have my blood/vit levels/etc checked (not any antibody testing, although the dumb guy said he would do it) i am currently between gi's - we just got a brand new hospital in town and i was hoping a group from knoxville would open an office nearby.  no dice.....  so, do i go back to the group i wasn't really impressed with?  or find a better one in knox vegas (which is a farther drive, waaaayy too close to all the shoe stores and such, and now will include lunch................  hmmmmmmm.................... )

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I agree with you 1000%. I am so tired of being poked, prodded and marinated. My Mom joked that they only thing they haven't done is cook me yet...this was before I got the results back from my colonoscopy and my answer was, "They may yet, depending on what they found..."

 

I'm also really tired of getting the eye roll from co-workers. Yes, I miss work. No, I'm not out galavanting around slaying dragons and looting ogres. I have a special schedule that allows me 3 days off during the week. I can't get it through my bosses head that some appointments cannot be changed or moved on a whim. And some are urgent enough that I can't wait until they have an appointment to fit my schedule. Not to mention I need at least one day that doesn't include appointments to just recharge from all of it.

 

Whew. Sorry about that..been in a funk for a week about all this nonsense. That being said, I try to put a smile on my face and joke with all the nurses to brighten their days as much as possible. Eventually I'll have a full weekend to do normal things (and feel like doing them...) but until then I take the advise of a fish named Dory, "Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?...Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim."

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Only thing is to get answers they need to poke prod and do other dastardly things to us! Sometimes they find it sometimes they don't! Hopefully they find it sooner than later!! 

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