Living With A Non Celiac

[plushg]

I have celiac and my boyfriend does not. We recently moved in together. Prior to the move I lived alone and had all new kitchen supplies pots and pans plates silverware etc that had never been exposed to gluten. After moving in together I brought all of my stuff to use in our kitchen and he did not have any of his own kitchen stuff except for a single pan and a single pot. I have been trying to deal with cross contamination on the fly as issues began to arise. He is easily frustrated by having restrictions on what he can use to cook gluten. And he isnt the type of person that would change his diet to make my life easier, he consumes gluten at every single meal unless I cook for the both of us. Most of the time we eat separate meals. I use the kitchen more to cook fresh meals while he eats more convenience food like frozen pizza, sandwiches and chinese food. Occasionally when he does want to cook he gets angry that he doesnt know what hes allowed to cook with. He also reacts the same when i remind him not to use a certain knife etc. 

As of now I have separate pots and pans, knives, sponges, spatulas for gluten and non.

I have personally bought whatever we needed for him to have his own wooden spoons knives and cutting board to use for gluten.

We share plates and utensils and I'm wondering If I should separate those as well. it was hard for me at first to let him use my gluten free plates and silverware since they were totally gluten free before and we dont have a dish washer. 

 

I don't have super obvious reactions when I accidentally eat gluten so I'm not sure how crazy I need to go in the way of having separate things.

 

I also wanted to put this out there in case someone who is living with someone with celiac and feels similar so I can have some insight as to how this is frustrating for them. Because to me it seems insensitive and I dont get how he wouldnt try his best to make our kitchen safe for me. He makes it seem like I am selfish for wanting this for myself. I couldnt disagree more with him and I dont know how to not make this a source of conflict.

My home is the one place I want to feel safe and not have to worry about gluten cross contamination. He has no idea how annoying that is for me to have to deal with on a constant basis. To me he is the one being selfish here. Especially since I was nice enough to either let him take a few of my things or bought him new things to cook with.

Any advice on how to maintain a cross contamination free environment at home would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

[celiac sharon]

Pay close attention here. He is your boyfriend, not your husband, and already he shows this much lack of concern for your health because it is inconvenient for him? My husband chooses to eat mostly gluten free for my sake. I didn't have to ask. He does eat some gluten but is mostly when he eats out or some pre packaged gluten items. He even eats my gluten free bread. All of this eases my burden. Being gluten free is difficult and I'm thankful I don't have to struggle with the one closest to me. And I would do the same for him. You call that LOVE. He is indeed selfish and self centered.

[bartfull]

Yes indeed. Here is a recent thread on the same topic. Please read and heed. https://www.celiac.com/forums/topic/112066-significant-other-who-doesnt-understand/

[RMJ]

I don't have symptoms either. My husband recently decided to give up bread at home so I wouldn't have to worry about the crumbs. He still eats other things with gluten, but they are easier to contain. We have separate dishes and eating utensils because we have no dishwasher and he doesn't wash dishes very well!

[squirmingitch]

I recently found out I am one of the 8% who can't eat even certified gluten free oats. My hubs is celiac too so we have a gluten free household but he loved these Lucy's gluten-free chocolate chip cookies. They contain certified gluten free oats. When I discovered I have reactions to oats he gave up the Lucy's cookies so there would be no chance of me getting cc'd. I didn't ask him to. It's only cookies & we can control that easily enough. He insisted on giving them up. He wanted me to feel totally comfortable and not have to go to extra work making sure cookie crumbs didn't get around.

That's love & consideration. That is being unselfish. 

[cap6]

Thank you celiac Sharon.  That was the first thing that jumped out at me too - he is a boyfriend, not a husband, and he acts like that???     

You wrote "Because to me it seems insensitive and I dont get how he wouldnt try his best to make our kitchen safe for me. He makes it seem like I am selfish for wanting this for myself. I couldnt disagree more with him and I dont know how to not make this a source of conflict.".    Sorry to be so blunt but..... if he's this bad now then he is not going to be any better in the future.  If he cares about you and your wellbeing he would be trying to make sure things are safe and g.f. for you.  This is your health we are talking about.

I would ditch him now.  Just saying!