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Electra

When Girls Don't Put Out!

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WHEN GIRLS DON'T PUT OUT!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their "head" and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that B** knows I'm smarter than her.


~~Angie~~

DX'd With Narcolepsy In 1995

Dx'ed With Celiac On 12-18-06

Positive Biopsy On 2-1-07

DX'd With Pernicious Anemia 4-24-07

Daughter Has DH, so I suspect she also has Celiac!!

"If Alcoholism was Celiac Disease they would make us drink ourselves into kidney failure before they would admit we had the disease"

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:lol:

Linda, Mom to Ty (11 years old)

Ty was diagnosed by blood test June 7/05

biopsy Aug 11/05, diagnosis confirmed Aug 18/05

Mom, Dad and big brother Celiac-free.

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oh my gosh....very funny.....hey, you need to join us on our Tickle Me Elbow thread! it's like this all the time over there.............. ;)


SUSIE

Diagnosed January 2006

"I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells." ~Dr. Seuss

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...Ehh...


-Diganosed with Celiac's Disease on April 15, 2005.

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life"-Picasso

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This reminds me of the t-shirt I saw once which read

TO ALL YOU VIRGINS ---- THANKS FOR NOTHING!!!

That pretty much told it how it was with those men who wore the shirt.

Then there's the t-shirts for girls: Good girls go to heave (photo of angel praying) BUT Bad girls get taken EVERYWHERE! (and face of joyous girl).


Husband has Celiac Disease and

Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -

The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis

Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,

most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as

being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."

Serious Depressive state ensued

Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003

Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.

Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle

Developed neuropathy in 2005

Now has lymphadema 2006It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

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...Ehh...

Yeah, this is not a place for this. There are many teens that frequent this board and others younger.

As Ashley said, ehh. Although, not a prude and I enjoyed the humor, I feel this is a misplaced post.


Lisa

Gluten Free - August 15, 2004

"Not all who wander are lost" - JRR Tolkien

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Sorry girls but on the surface this did make me laugh.

However, Electra, I think you`re missing something here.


Diagnosed as an infant failing to thrive 40 years ago. Followed diet for 17 years more or less then quit. 20 odd years later after constant illnesses and reading this forum gone back to gluten-free with my tail between my legs.

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